Assumption is the mother of all screw ups
Anonyms
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
Just keeping it going.
Dave Anderson
Chester, NH
Assumption is the mother of all screw ups
Anonyms
hope this is a new one
beach.jpg
Assumption is the mother of all screw ups
Anonyms
More grist for the mill.
Dave Anderson
Chester, NH
Don't let them take your temperature
on your forehead as you enter the supermarket
because it erases your memory.
I went for macaroni and cheese
and came home with two cases ofBeer
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It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub
It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house
The difference is staggering
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Turns out it was a marble in the ashtray...
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Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.
I thought to myself
That's a little condescending
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MY MIND IS LIKE MY INTERNET BROWSER.
19 tabs open,
3 of them are frozen
and I have no idea
where the music is coming from.
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People who wonder
whether the glass is half empty or half full
are missing the point.
The glass is refillable.
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They say every piece of chocolate eaten
shortens your life by two minutes.
I've done the maths.
Seems I died in 1537.
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I got myself a seniors' GPS.
Not only does it tell me how to get to my destination,
it tells me why I wanted to go there.
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Most people don't think I'm as old as I am
until they hear me stand up.
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Had I known in March
that it was the last time I would be in a restaurant
I would have ordered the dessert.
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I don't always go the extra mile,
but when I do it's because I've missed my exit.
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"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
short shift for today.
Dave Anderson
Chester, NH