To all citizens and tax paying residents of the Vortex:

It has come to the attention of the staff here at MAHQ that there’s an individual who, for quite some time, has been causing a fair amount of ruckus with our fellow spinners. Normally this is an entirely acceptable practice; but in this instance the illegal alien is a devout and prolific non-spinner. As a matter if fact, we’re not even sure if the party in question has done any woodworking of any kind at all – ever!

As such it was determined at our last Department Head meeting to get this sick and depraved individual to put up or shut up. Given that sick and depraved is an apt description, and one that applies to all of us as well, we feel that assimilation can be easily achieved and worthy of our attention.

So……… Here we go again. But there’s a twist.

The last time we did this it was all done in secret (well, semi secret anyway) and while it was a lot of fun and completely successful there were many who felt sad that they weren’t approached for a donation. So, whaddya say? Let’s do it in full view so everyone, who wants to, can participate.

Ken Fitzgerald (head of Bonker Operations) joined my tenured department heads John Hart and John Miliunas; and then in a stroke of sheer brilliance we asked Tyler Howell to join us as a Special Consultant to our newly established Lathewear Department. Together, this formidable assemblage of talent has worked fastidiously over the last eleven minutes to devise what follows.

Just like last time, we hope to raise enough funds from right here in the Turning Forum of Sawmill Creek to acquire a new lathe and various accessories to get this individual assimilated and started down into the depths of the Vortex that we all know so well.

The thing is – we’re not going to tell you the identity of the object of our attention. You’ll have to rely on our Boy Scout’s honor and trust that we have “chosen wisely”. It is our intent to let speculation run rampant, wild, and public. So have it. My guess is that the odds makers in Las Vegas will be taking wagers shortly.

Keith Outten has blessed this crusade, but has asked that:
  • we keep it to the Turning Forum
  • that we forgo the loud “signature games” from last winter
  • that we avoid referring to this as a bombing run or any variant of that sort
  • that we keep it to just this thread.
Them’s the rules and I agree with them.

Here’s how it works.

To participate, send your donation via PayPal to me at ahoythere@adelphia.net. Or, you can send cash or check (payable to me) to 35 Pines Road, Benton Falls, Maine 04901-3623. When your donation is received I’ll shoot you an acknowledgement that it arrived. But I will never divulge to anyone who did or did not participate, or in what amount. This way, everyone is a donor. This goes for you lurkers out there – we want to hear from you too!

The goal is to let the fund drive run for a couple of weeks and then arrange for delivery towards the end of June. Naturally, we won’t know what we’ll be purchasing until we see what kind of response we get.

That’s it for now. My hope is that my department heads will chime in shortly to support what I’ve said and add their own two cent’s worth.

One last word. This is not charity. This is fun.

Thanks, Andy