A Farmers Wife Said

[Bert Kemp]

Wise Advice from a Farmer's Wife
Whenever you return a borrowed pie pan, make sure it's got a warm pie in it.
Invite lots of folks to supper. You can always add more water to the soup.
There's no such thing as woman's work on a farm. There's just work.
Make home a happy place for the children. Everybody returns to their happy place.
Always keep a small light on in the kitchen window at night.
If your man gets his truck stuck in the field, don't go in after him. Throw him a rope and pull him out with the tractor.
Keep the kerosene lamp away from the the milk cow's leg.
It's a whole lot easier to get breakfast from a chicken than a pig.
Always pat the chickens when you take their eggs.
It's easy to clean an empty house, but hard to live in one.
All children spill milk. Learn to smile and wipe it up.
Homemade's always better'n store bought.
A tongue's like a knife. The sharper it is the deeper it cuts.
A good neighbor always knows when to visit and when to leave.
A city dog wants to run out the door, but a country dog stays on the porch 'cause he's not fenced-in.
Always light birthday candles from the middle outward.
Nothin' gets the frustrations out better'n splittn' wood.
The longer dress hem, the more trusting the husband.
Enjoy doing your children's laundry. Some day they'll be gone.
You'll never catch a runnin' chicken but if you throw seed around the back door you'll have a skillet full by supper.
Biscuits brown better with a little butter brushed on 'em.
Check your shoelaces before runnin' to help somebody.
Visit old people who can't get out. Some day you'll be one.
The softer you talk, the closer folks'll listen.
The colder the outhouse, the warmer the bed.
PLEASE REMEMBER EVERYONE!: Say something when you see a post you like! *saying anything is fine* it helps you KEEP seeing them every day!

[Patrick McCarthy]

A lot of wisdom there, Bert. Thank you reminding us.

[Dennis Droege]

Thanks. Took me back to my boyhood in southern Missouri.

[Frederick Skelly]

That was good stuff Bert. Thanks for posting it. (I made a copy.)

[George Bokros]

Good stuff, makes one think.

[Bruce Wrenn]

The further the out house, the greater the urge to have to go! DAMHIK! Been distributing goodies to widows and other members of our SS class for sometime now. Tell them the "Biscuit Fairy" is coming by their house. I make a BIG batch of biscuits once a week.

[michael langman]

I've always said, behind every great man was a greater woman. But I didn't make it up.

Great post Bert.

[Bruce Wrenn]

I've always said, behind every great man was a greater woman. But I didn't make it up.

Great post Bert.

And if you don't believe him, just ask her.

[John K Jordan]

Some good advice!

From long experience I especially like this one: It's a whole lot easier to get breakfast from a chicken than a pig.

I've just started incubating about 100 chicken and guinea eggs. Anyone in the area want some chicks?

[Ronald Blue]

There were always a few chickens you grabbed their neck unless you wanted your arm pecked when gathering eggs. Chickens are like people....some are just mean.

[Bob Glenn]

With ham and eggs, the chicken is involved, but the pig is committed.

[michael langman]

And if you don't believe him, just ask her.

Point taken. Just ask Melania.

[michael langman]

There were always a few chickens you grabbed their neck unless you wanted your arm pecked when gathering eggs. Chickens are like people....some are just mean.

Why are they mean Ron. They are just doing what comes natural to them. Protecting their own.
And this is coming from someone who had a big white turkey rip the pocket off his sunday morning suit coat while getting out of the car coming home from church.

[Ronald Blue]

Why are they mean Ron. They are just doing what comes natural to them. Protecting their own.
And this is coming from someone who had a big white turkey rip the pocket off his sunday morning suit coat while getting out of the car coming home from church.

Most didn't mind. But there was always a couple.... As I recall and it's been a couple days but hen's always used the same nest. So you learned which ones to be on the defensive with. Fresh eggs is something the majority knows nothing about.

[John K Jordan]

There were always a few chickens you grabbed their neck unless you wanted your arm pecked when gathering eggs. Chickens are like people....some are just mean.

I have some chickens I can pick up in the next box and gather eggs from underneath. For others I have an old hammer I use to (gently) deflect their powerful pecking mechanism while robbing eggs. If I forget which is which the overly protective ones let me know who they are.