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Thread: Time for some levity

  1. #2686
    Friday fun.
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    Dave Anderson

    Chester, NH

  2. #2687
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    southeast Michigan
    Posts
    676

  3. #2688
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Shenandoah Valley in Virginia
    Posts
    921

  4. #2689
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ingleside, IL
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    2023-01-28_22h43_07.jpg

    required text
    Stand for something, or you'll fall for anything.

  5. #2690
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Tampa Bay, FL
    Posts
    3,925
    Quote Originally Posted by Bill Carey View Post
    Spit out my coffee on that one.
    - After I ask a stranger if I can pet their dog and they say yes, I like to respond, "I'll keep that in mind" and walk off
    - It's above my pay grade. Mongo only pawn in game of life.

  6. #2691
    Keeping the thread going.
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    Dave Anderson

    Chester, NH

  7. #2692
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    Southwest US
    Posts
    1,044
    Last edited by Patty Hann; 01-30-2023 at 6:21 PM.

  8. #2693
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
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    Last edited by Patty Hann; 01-30-2023 at 8:11 PM.

  9. #2694
    • Did I read that sign right?
      TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -
      In a Laundromat:
      AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------------------
      In a London department store:
      BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------------
      In an office:
      WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------
      In an office:
      AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --
      Outside a second-hand shop:
      WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --
      Notice in health food shop window:
      CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------
      Spotted in a safari park:
      (I sure hope so.)
      ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------
      Seen during a conference:
      FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------------
      Notice in a farmer's field:
      THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------
      Message on a leaflet:
      IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------------
      On a repair shop door:
      WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)
      Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --
      Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife
      And Daughter
      This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------
      Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
      Really? Ya' think?
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------------------
      Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
      Now that's taking things a bit far!
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------
      Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
      What a guy!
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------
      Miners Refuse to Work after Death
      No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------
      Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
      See if that works better than a fair trial!
      ----------------------------- ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------------
      War Dims Hope for Peace
      I can see where it might have that effect!
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------------------
      If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
      Ya' think?!
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------------------
      Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
      Who would have thought!
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------
      Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
      They may be on to something!
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------
      Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
      You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------
      Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
      He probably IS the battery charge!
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------
      New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
      Weren't they fat enough?!
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------
      Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
      That's what he gets for eating those beans!
      ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------
      Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
      Do they taste like chicken?
      ****************************** ****************************** ********************
      Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
      Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
      ****************************** ****************************** ****************************** ****
      Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
      Boy, are they tall!
      ****************************** ****************************** ****************************** *****
      And the winner is...
      Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
      Did I read that right?
      ****************************** ****************************** ****************************** ***
      Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone to whom you want to bring a smile . . maybe even a chuckle.





























































































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  10. #2695
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    Apr 2017
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    "Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"

    Forecast for tonight: Increasing darkness with scattered lightness toward morning.


  11. #2696
    Quote Originally Posted by Patty Hann View Post

    Forecast for tonight: Increasing darkness with scattered lightness toward morning.

    George Carlin as Al Sleet, hippy dippy weatherman, on Ed Sullivan Show, 1966

  12. #2697
    Join Date
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    southeast Michigan
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  13. #2698
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    Apr 2017
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott Snyder View Post
    George Carlin as Al Sleet, hippy dippy weatherman, on Ed Sullivan Show, 1966
    Couldn't remember where I had heard it (or read it).
    I was in grade school when that show was broadcast, so maybe I heard it later on a GC record... meaning a vinyl "LP".... (remember those? )

  14. #2699

  15. #2700
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    Shenandoah Valley in Virginia
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    921

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