Contributor
Assumption is the mother of all screw ups
Anonyms
Contributor
--I had my patience tested. I'm negative--
Contributor
real ad I just screen-captured--
genius.jpg
--there may be a genius shopping trick somewhere in the ad,
but not so genius is how that guy is opening the box...
========================================
ELEVEN - rotary cutter tool machines
FOUR - CO2 lasers
THREE- make that FOUR now- fiber lasers
ONE - vinyl cutter
CASmate, Corel, Gravostyle
[OP]
Moderator
A few for today.
Dave Anderson
Chester, NH
Contributor
Contributor
Contributor
Assumption is the mother of all screw ups
Anonyms
Contributor
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
Contributor
21st century normality?? ... at least in the USA
@ Our Phones - Wireless
@ Cooking - Fireless
@ Cars - Keyless
@ Food - Fatless
@ Tires -Tubeless
@ Dress - Sleeveless
@ Youth - Jobless
@ Leaders - Shameless
@ Relationships - Meaningless
@ Attitudes - Careless
@ Babies - Fatherless
@ Feelings - Heartless
@ Education - Valueless
@ Children – Mannerless
We are - SPEECHLESS,
Only in This Nonsense World ......do we leave cars worth thousands
ofdollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. �� *
Only in This Illogical World ......do drugstores make the sick walk allthe way
to the back of the Store to get their prescriptions whilehealthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front. �� * ️
Only in This Crazy World.....do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet Coke.. open and then chain the pens to the counters.. �� * ️
Only in This World ........... do we buy hot dogs in packages often and buns
in Packages of eight.. �� * ️
Only in This Stupid World ..... do they have drive-up ATM machines
with Braille lettering. �� * ️
EVER WONDER...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ❓�� * ️
Why don't you ever see the Headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery' ❓�� * ️
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word ❓�� * ️
Why is it that Doctors call what they do “practice" ❓�� * ️
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid
made with real lemons ❓�� * ️
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker ❓�� * ️
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour ❓�� * ️
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food ❓�� * ️
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes ❓�� * ️
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections ❓�� * ️
You know that Indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff ❓ !! �� * ️
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains ❓�� * ️
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? ❓�� * ️
❓��*
If flying is so Safe, why do they call the airport the terminal ❓
Last edited by Lee Schierer; 03-09-2022 at 7:13 AM. Reason: removed political comments
If the Help and advice you received here was of any VALUE to you PLEASE! Become a Contributor
Rabbit RL_XX_6040-60 watt Laser engraving/cutting machine
Lasercut 5.3
CorelDraw X5
10" Miter Saw with slide
10" Table Saw
8" bench mount 5 speed Drill Press
Dremel, 3x21 Belt Sander
Contributor
It is only on Wall Street that people who drive Rolls Royces take advice from people who ride the subway to work.Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker
There is a box in my closet full of phoneless cords.Our Phones - Wireless
jtk
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
Contributor
Hollywood Squares - Those were the days. Hard to believe they did not know the questions beforehand!
Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted.
Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knott: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to ask him if he's married.
A. Rose Marie: No. Wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. What are: 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the apartment next door.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question, Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.
Assumption is the mother of all screw ups
Anonyms
[OP]
Moderator
More for today.
Dave Anderson
Chester, NH
Contributor
Contributor
--I had my patience tested. I'm negative--
Contributor
--I had my patience tested. I'm negative--
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