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Thread: Time for some levity

  1. #151
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    McKean, PA
    Posts
    15,596
    Blog Entries
    1
    From another internet site:

    · Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

    · I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

    · I need to practice social-distancing........ from the refrigerator.

    · Still haven't decided where to go for today ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom

    · Public Service Announcement : Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

    · Home-schooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

    · I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone.

    · This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house told my dog..... we laughed a lot.

    · So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

    · Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

    · My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

    · Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

    · I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

    · I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to ‘’Puerto Backyarda’’. I'm getting tired of ‘’Los Livingroom’’.

    · Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

    · Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.

    · Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under….
    Lee Schierer
    USNA '71
    Go Navy!

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  2. #152
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Modesto, CA, USA
    Posts
    9,894
    Lee, to add to your post:
    Do not forget to remove your pajamas before taking a shower or using the toilet. They are not designed for true 24/7/365 use.
    Bill D

  3. #153
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Lewiston, Idaho
    Posts
    28,504
    A few more I saw today.

    Vicks.jpgspam.jpgcow.jpg
    Ken

    So much to learn, so little time.....

  4. #154

    Today's take

    Let's keep it going folks we're in for a long haul.
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    Dave Anderson

    Chester, NH

  5. #155
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    In the foothills of the Sandia Mountains
    Posts
    16,622
    this explains a lot!
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    Please help support the Creek.


    "It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone."
    Andy Rooney



  6. #156
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Hayes, Virginia
    Posts
    14,762
    Lost

    As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost.
    I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.
    I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.
    The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.
    And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my guitar and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
    As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

    Apparently,
    I’m still lost…

  7. #157
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    In the foothills of the Sandia Mountains
    Posts
    16,622
    It's a dogs life
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    Please help support the Creek.


    "It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone."
    Andy Rooney



  8. #158
    One of my pet peeves with this smart-phone world, is when the kids & grandkids come to visit,
    say for a birthday party, everyone sits around busy on their phones- but when it comes time to sing
    'happy birthday' and blow out the candles, not a one of 'em can be found
    shooting pictures or video--!

    q1.jpg


    q2.jpg
    ========================================
    ELEVEN - rotary cutter tool machines
    FOUR - CO2 lasers
    THREE- make that FOUR now - fiber lasers
    ONE - vinyl cutter
    CASmate, Corel, Gravostyle


  9. #159

    For Tuesday

    Not getting as many good ones anymore.
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    Dave Anderson

    Chester, NH

  10. #160
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Lewiston, Idaho
    Posts
    28,504
    Here's an explanation....

    panda.jpg
    Ken

    So much to learn, so little time.....

  11. #161
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Fort Smith, Arkansas
    Posts
    1,985
    Ken, my wife lol'ed when I read that to her.
    My three favorite things are the Oxford comma, irony and missed opportunities

    The problem with humanity is: we have paleolithic emotions; medieval institutions; and God-like technology. Edward O. Wilson

  12. #162

    More

    Not a lot today.
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    Dave Anderson

    Chester, NH

  13. #163
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Lewiston, Idaho
    Posts
    28,504
    Here you go....

    skills.jpg
    Ken

    So much to learn, so little time.....

  14. #164

  15. #165

    Ration for today

    Her are a few more I dug up. The last one I just couldn't resist.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Dave Anderson

    Chester, NH

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