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Thread: Time for some levity

  1. #706
    Those were great Keith!
    "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
    - Sir Edmund Burke

  2. #707
    For the love of irony-

    i1.jpgi2.jpgi3.jpgi4.jpgi5.jpgI6.jpg
    ========================================
    ELEVEN - rotary cutter tool machines
    FOUR - CO2 lasers
    THREE - fiber lasers
    ONE - vinyl cutter
    CASmate, Corel, Gravostyle


  3. #708
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
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    Modesto, CA, USA
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    5,132
    regarding the deaf school I remember when they moved the California school for the blind out of Berkeley to a nearby suburb with poor public transit. One selling point was the new campus would be beautiful not a old run down dump with overhead wires running across the open spaces.. Of course as soon as it was vacant it was painted and turned into student housing.
    Bil lD

  4. #709
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    San Antonio, TX
    Posts
    377
    Quote Originally Posted by Kev Williams View Post
    For the love of irony-

    i2.jpg
    I bought two pianos from the Texas School for The Deaf on a state auction while in college in the 1980s

    Two things -
    First, people who are deaf still can feel the vibrations (as I understand it they play their music REALLY LOUD!!! at their parties ). The baby grand I had bought from the School was used so the students could gain an understanding of music.
    Second, it makes a little more sense when you know the complete current name for the school which is something akin to the Texas school for the deaf and hearing impaired.

    John

  5. #710
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Red Deer, Alberta
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    879
    A few more that came across my desk...
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    Last edited by Steve Schlumpf; 10-16-2020 at 11:14 AM. Reason: Political

  6. #711
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
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    Red Deer, Alberta
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    879
    And a few more...
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    Last edited by Steve Schlumpf; 10-16-2020 at 11:08 AM.

  7. #712

    Warning

    We are perilously on the edge of some political posts. Watch out people, I'd hate to edit or close this great thread.
    Dave Anderson
    Chester Toolworks LLC
    Chester, NH

  8. #713
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Okotoks AB
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    2,374
    Quote Originally Posted by Dave Anderson NH View Post
    We are perilously on the edge of some political posts. Watch out people, I'd hate to edit or close this great thread.
    Those last 2 posts need to be deleted.

  9. #714
    Join Date
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    Arizona
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    guess I missed something cause I haven't seen anything remotely close to political.
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  10. #715
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    New Westminster BC
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    Yes, there were a couple well over the line, not surprised they were deleted. Hate to lose this thread too.

  11. #716
    Join Date
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    The offending content in the 2 posts I referred to was deleted. It would be a sad thing to loose this thread. I've gotten more belly laughs from it than I've had in a long time

  12. #717
    The haul for today.
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    Last edited by Lee Schierer; 10-17-2020 at 3:34 PM. Reason: inaprprite meme removed
    Dave Anderson
    Chester Toolworks LLC
    Chester, NH

  13. #718
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Hayes, Virginia
    Posts
    13,784
    Lost

    As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauperís cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost.
    I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.
    I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didnít know what else to do, so I started to play.
    The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like Iíve never played before for this homeless man.
    And as I played ĎAmazing Grace,í the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my guitar and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
    As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, ďI never seen nothiní like that before and Iíve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.Ē
    Apparently, Iím still lostÖ
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  14. #719
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    Arizona
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    The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

    Here are the winners:

    1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

    2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

    3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

    4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

    5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

    6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting sex.

    7.Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

    8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

    9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

    10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

    11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

    12. Decafhalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

    13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

    14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

    15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web

    16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

    17. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn when you discover half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


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  15. #720
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    Follow up LOL Don't drink coffee on 5-10- and 11 LOL
    The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
    And the winners are:

    1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

    2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

    3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

    4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanationwhile drunk.

    5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

    6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

    7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

    8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

    9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

    10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

    11. Testicle, n A humorous question on an exam.

    12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

    13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

    14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles hisconversation with Yiddishisms.

    15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

    16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

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