AS I GET OLDER I REALIZE:

#1 - I talk to myself, because there are times I need expert advice.
#2 - I consider "In Style" to be the clothes that still fit.
#3 - I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.
#4 - My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance for idiots that needs work.
#5 - The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."
#6 - I have days when my life is just a tent away from a circus.
#7 - These days, "on time" is when I get there.
#8 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.
#9 - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
#10 - Lately, I've noticed people my age are so much older than me.
#11 - "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering why I'm there.
#12 - When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now it feels like a mini vacation.
#13 - Some days I have no idea what I'm doing out of bed.
#14 - I thought growing old would take longer
#15 - Aging sure has slowed me down, but it hasn't shut me up.
#16 - I still haven't learned to act my age.

LAUGHTER IS GOOD: