Something funny about people....

[Kyle Foster]

There is something funny about most people. They tell you what they think you want or need, not what you are asking for. I noticed it last Christmas with my family and my then fiance (now wife) they asked her for a list of items that she might like and they didnt get her a single one. It wasn't the cost of any of these items, it was just they felt the other items were more important than what she wanted. Throughout the year, I have been watching and it has been disheartening to say the least about how people try to impress themselves upon you.

You tell a person something and they come back at you saying not to do it for the very reasons you are. Maybe what people need is not stuff and things but something a little more intangible; something that is quite a bit harder to give. That something is perspective.

What is everyone's thoughts. Agree? Disagree? Neutral?

[Art Mann]

I am not sure what you are getting at but I will say this. I have observed on SMC and other forums that people tend to give advice about the advisability of doing a certain thing rather than answer the person's simple question of how to do it. That can be a good or bad thing.

[Kyle Foster]

I am not sure what you are getting at but I will say this. I have observed on SMC and other forums that people tend to give advice about the advisability of doing a certain thing rather than answer the person's simple question of how to do it. That can be a good or bad thing.

I am trying to see how many other people notice others impressing their thoughts/ ways/ beliefs on people who dont want it and trying to give those who dont realize they're doing it a wakeup call.

I know I'm not the most eloquent guy out there so if I'm not being clear, ask again.

[Lee DeRaud]

I have observed on SMC and other forums that people tend to give advice about the advisability of doing a certain thing rather than answer the person's simple question of how to do it. That can be a good or bad thing.

Yeah, but then again there are a lot of threads here of the form, "How do I <insert stupid/illegal/life-threatening action>?" It's tempting to make popcorn, pull up a chair, and wait for the resulting disaster, but that's not how we roll.

[Julie Moriarty]

Anytime anyone asks me what I want for Christmas I tell them I want a Little Harbor 42 or 44 (sailboat). They always get me something else. Maybe it's the way I say it.

[Tom Stenzel]

Yeah, but then again there are a lot of threads here of the form, "How do I <insert stupid/illegal/life-threatening action>?" It's tempting to make popcorn, pull up a chair, and wait for the resulting disaster, but that's not how we roll.

The only way to make popcorn is in a pot with coconut oil, make sure the steam gets vented off. If you're doing it ANY OTHER WAY you're doing it WRONG!

/sarc off

If getting Christmas gifts is just a shopping list the recipient made out that would just be so boring. Surprises are nice. If the giver puts real thought into the gift - what is the issue?

A roommate of mine gave me a sweatshirt that she had hand painted winter scene with cardinal on it. I didn't ask for it, wasn't anything I expected. 25 years later I still have it and wear it on occasion. It's one of those small treasures I keep.

-Tom

[Charlie Velasquez]

The only way to make popcorn is in a pot with coconut oil, make sure the steam gets vented off. If you're doing it ANY OTHER WAY you're doing it WRONG!

/sarc off

If getting Christmas gifts is just a shopping list the recipient made out that would just be so boring. Surprises are nice. If the giver puts real thought into the gift - what is the issue?

A roommate of mine gave me a sweatshirt that she had hand painted winter scene with cardinal on it. I didn't ask for it, wasn't anything I expected. 25 years later I still have it and wear it on occasion. It's one of those small treasures I keep.

-Tom

If I have a unique present in mind, ok, but then don't ask. If I ask, then as explained, it seems like an affront to disregard the suggestions.

Growing up we almost always had bacon on Sunday morning. We would save the bacon grease and use it to make popcorn to eat as we watched Wonderful World of Disney. Great family tradition.

[Kory Cassel]

I think I see what you're talking about Kyle. Real communication is hard in many cases and especially with a back and forth on a forum. Two people can be having two separate lines of discussion that are close but never connecting. It gets harder because no on wants to seem rude like "I don't care how you would stagger those biscuits because I don't own a joiner!!!" Not like anyones trying to be unhelpful, just oblivious?

[Larry Frank]

Forums are interesting places....

One needs to ask a specific question to try to get a good answer. Often, people do not really read the question and answer what they thought was asked. At times, people just go off on a tangent. So m times, thread go off into the wild blue yonder.

Every once in awhile, a thread stays on topic with great responses.

It is just the way of the web and forums.

[Rod Sheridan]

I always ask for the same two Christmas presents, a donation to a charity of the purchaser's choice, or a donation to the charity I chose that provides Christmas meals to people who are down on their luck.

Most people comply with my wishes, others buy me a present because they "wanted me to have something", forgetting that what I wanted was a donation to a charity.

Regards, Rod.

[Art Mann]

I think you see why I said that could be a good or bad thing.

Yeah, but then again there are a lot of threads here of the form, "How do I <insert stupid/illegal/life-threatening action>?" It's tempting to make popcorn, pull up a chair, and wait for the resulting disaster, but that's not how we roll.

[Tim Bueler]

Yes, it happens. When a person says "...this is what I want..." people say "...oh, you don't want that..."

2 examples from my past. I was looking to buy a firearm. I had a an exact brand and model in mind and at that point was just looking for the best price. This was pre-internet so into various gun shops I went. In one of the more popular local shops I told the clerk exactly what I was after. First words out of his mouth were "Oh, you don't want that, you want [this other brand/model/configuration that is a complete departure from what you asked for]". I just turned around and left him with a stupid look on his face.

Second example was in a house I was building. I was going over an order with the mill work supplier. I had a specific trim detail in mind that I'd done in other houses. I told the supplier what I wanted and he said "That won't work". I replied "yes it does, I've done it before". He came back with "No you didn't, that'll never work!" I was already committed to buying from that company for that job, but they missed out on ALL future sales.

Neither company is still in business, go figure.

[Lee DeRaud]

I was looking to buy a firearm. I had a an exact brand and model in mind and at that point was just looking for the best price. This was pre-internet so into various gun shops I went. In one of the more popular local shops I told the clerk exactly what I was after. First words out of his mouth were "Oh, you don't want that, you want [this other brand/model/configuration that is a complete departure from what you asked for]". I just turned around and left him with a stupid look on his face.

In every retail establishment I've ever set foot in, "You don't want that." is code for "We don't carry that brand." and/or "We don't have that model in stock."

Second example was in a house I was building. I was going over an order with the mill work supplier. I had a specific trim detail in mind that I'd done in other houses. I told the supplier what I wanted and he said "That won't work". I replied "yes it does, I've done it before". He came back with "No you didn't, that'll never work!" I was already committed to buying from that company for that job, but they missed out on ALL future sales.

Yup, "That'll never work!" translates to "I could never figure out how to do that!" or "That's not how I do it!". Happens regularly on this forum.

(If anyone from the laser forum is here, yes, I'm talking about cutting acrylic without air assist, and yes, I do it routinely with excellent results.)

[Steve Demuth]

I noticed it last Christmas with my family and my then fiance (now wife) they asked her for a list of items that she might like and they didnt get her a single one.

I did exactly this this Christmas for my daughter. Each adult in our family gets a gift for exactly one other adult, so she emailed me a list. I was traveling on business, and had an afternoon off, so went to a native artisan's gallery, and saw something there that, at least in my mind, fit her perfectly. So I bought it. Wasn't anything she'd ever ask her hold man to buy her, and it means (we also have gift $ limits) she's not going to get anything on her list. So what? The only way the $150 or so I spend on her for Christmas is going to mean anything to her is if it represents her father actually having thought about her. She can buy anything on her list whenever she wants. She'd never have been in that gallery with me though, and if she had her seeing the gift I got her would not have represented her father thinking about her, her connections to native peoples, and the fact that I am incredibly proud of her, think she's smart and beautiful, and want her to have and be able to wear remembrance of those thoughts. All of those things will be in the gift I got her.

[Lee Schierer]

You tell a person something and they come back at you saying not to do it for the very reasons you are. Maybe what people need is not stuff and things but something a little more intangible; something that is quite a bit harder to give. That something is perspective.

I'm curious as to what you do when you ask someone what they want and they give you one or several answers.