What Would You Do?

[Julie Moriarty]

I have a neighbor who is 87. He has done same amazing work but his hands have become knotted from all the hand work he's done over the years. We were talking the other day and he told me about his plans to make a piece but needed an interesting base so he wanted to know about pecky Bolivian walnut. The next day I took a piece of the walnut over to his house to show him. You should have seen the twinkle in his eyes. When it comes to wood, he is truly an artist and I could see the creative juices flowing.

He took out a whale he had carved and explained how he wanted to take it and two smaller carved whales and have them jumping out of the pecky. I thought about it for a minute and then said, "Let's go to your computer." I had him bring up a wood slab site, located about an hour from here, and showed him some of the smaller slabs they have. He loved it! So I offered to drive him up there. His enthusiasm suddenly died. At least that's what it seemed to me. Before I left I told him the offer to take him up there was always open.

After I got home I began to think about what happened. And I started to wonder if what he wants to do is beyond what his body can now do. He has told me in the past how his hands can't do what they used to and his eyes would turn sad.

What I'm struggling with is this - On one hand I'd like to make a run up north and bring him back a slab that would fit his needs. Looking at the pictures online of what he liked, I think I could find what he wants. Then there's "can he do what he wants to do?" question. And if I present him with something that makes those eyes twinkle, will that be followed by the sad reality he won't be able to do the work? Will my gift be a reminder of what he can no longer do? I would offer to help but he's a very proud man and I don't know how that offer would be taken.

Thing is I really don't know how much he can or can't do. He works out every day at the gym. He's solid as a rock but his hands show the ravages of a life working with hand tools.

Thoughts?

[Bill Houghton]

It's possible that it's the trip, not the work, that's stopping him; could be any number of issues. 87-year-old men sometimes have bladder issues that might require a stop partway, and he may not want to admit to that to a young woman, for instance.

Next time you visit, you might tell him that you need to stop up that way for something else (assuming "up that day" has other things that you might reasonably need to do), and would he like you to bring back a suitable slab? See how he responds and go from there.

I bet he has a lot to teach you. If you could turn the conversation into one about collaboration from which you could learn - that is, you're not helping him, he's helping you by teaching you, with the whales as the teaching tool - maybe that could work. Who knows? It could be the start of a partnership both of you would enjoy and gain from.

So often, old people get set to the side and ignored. It's great that you can see him for the wise and lively elder that he sounds to be.

[Bill Carey]

That's a tough one, Julie. If he does not acknowledge that his hands are limited it make it harder to do anything. But I think what I would do is go buy the slab, and bring it to him and ask him to teach me to do what he does, because his idea for the whales is so cool. I'm far from a very creative person, but sharing the limited stuff I know is great - almost as rewarding as doing the work myself. If he agrees it becomes a joint project and allows you to do the grunt work - slab prep, planing, sanding, etc - and you can save the work he loves for him. And I'm sure it would be a rewarding experience for you as well.


Good on you for paying attention to this gentleman.

[Bill McDermott]

Julie, I don't see any real downside to your involvement. It seems to me that everything you are doing is righteous and good. The gentleman's age and issues are unavoidable facts, but your sincere interest in a mutually beneficial artistic collaboration is beauty. If he has serious concerns, your engagement may offer an opportunity to vent some of that -- or even power through it. Clearly you are open to either path. I encourage you to press on with the beauty and deal with the facts as they come. I also congratulate you. There, you have received three Bills in response to your question.

[James Pallas]

Julie, I would suggest that you just ask. In this way, What would you like to do and how can I help you accomplish that?
Sometimes we think that people need more help than they do. Maybe all he needs is the wood put on his work space and he can take it from there. You won't know until you ask. Just because we loose some physical abilities doesn't mean that our mind goes at the same rate. Some of us older people are surprisingly honest too.
Jim

[David Eisenhauer]

Is it possible that the cost of a slab was the issue? Retired, fixed/lower income issues?

[Bill Carey]

just out of curiosity, responders, and if you don't mind, how old are you/ I'm 71

[Julie Moriarty]

Thanks for the help, guys. I thought about the student-teacher concept. I think he'd like that. I'd really love to put a smile on his face. He and his wife are sooooooo nice! Maybe I'll make that run and see what I can find. I need to replenish my stock anyway. I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks again!

Bill, I'm 67.52, or something like that.

[Bill Carey]

Bill, I'm 67.52, or something like that.

LOL - fightin it tooth and nail. And please do let us know how it goes. Pics of his carvings maybe ??

[Bill Houghton]

Bill, I'm 67.52, or something like that.

See, like I said in my earlier response: young woman.

Bill, who waved at birthday No. 70 as it went by this summer.

[Bill McNiel]

Julie,
FWIW-my advice is, discuss the situation, as you see it, with him openly and honestly. Tell him what your perception is and create an atmosphere of mutual respect and problem solving (there may not actually be a problem). You obviously care, and in my experience that is a solid foundation for an open conversation. You have always been open and honest here so be that person in this.

Kudos for caring enough to bring this to SMC. You are THE ONE!

Regards- Bill (turned 70 a week ago)

[James Waldron]

At 76, I have more limitations than I like to admit. Bad knees, bad back, torn bicep, too much weight, too little energy and strength any longer. I don't get much done at one time in the shop, and my projects take a lot longer than I used to manage, but I trudge along. I get to partner with my son on some projects, which works pretty well, but he has limited time to take away from his family and my granddaughter (at 2-1/2, she's got a while before she's ready for the shop).

If I had a spry young lady available to partner on a few projects, I'd be really pleased to share what I know and the tools I have. Hell, I'd even put up with a spry young man in such a role. I need an apprentice, but only a small fraction of my work is paid and I can't support a real apprentice. I'm reluctant to get back into building boats, where I once had a bit of a following and could support a bit of staff, because I'm not sure I have the capacity to keep up. I do have one more in my system, one for that little girl I mentioned above. Hope to get started on that fairly soon.

I guess I'll keep on as I am and keep looking for a younger person who wants to learn. They have proved very hard to find, so far.

Ms Julie, maybe all that can provide a bit of perspective to help you find a constructive direction with your friend. I hope so. If he's got any sense, he'll take all the help you are willing to offer. And you are a wonder to want to help. Thanks for that.

[Matt Mattingley]

I’m not sure if I missed this,...... what is the slab he needs? Species and cut would be helpful.... i’m burning a bunch of offcuts of maple, Oak, cherry, pine, and walnut. Most of it is live edge.

[Frederick Skelly]

Julie,
What came to me as I read your description is that maybe he can't afford it. I think I'd buy the slab and figure out how to give it to him in a way that he will accept - "this is a Christmas present", "it was a cut off so they gave it to me", "it was there a long time and they wanted rid of it", "they recognized your name and love your work so they sold it to me cheap", etc.

I second what everyone else has said - "good on ya" for caring.

Fred

[ken hatch]

At 76, I have more limitations than I like to admit. Bad knees, bad back, torn bicep, too much weight, too little energy and strength any longer. I don't get much done at one time in the shop, and my projects take a lot longer than I used to manage, but I trudge along. I get to partner with my son on some projects, which works pretty well, but he has limited time to take away from his family and my granddaughter (at 2-1/2, she's got a while before she's ready for the shop).

If I had a spry young lady available to partner on a few projects, I'd be really pleased to share what I know and the tools I have. Hell, I'd even put up with a spry young man in such a role. I need an apprentice, but only a small fraction of my work is paid and I can't support a real apprentice. I'm reluctant to get back into building boats, where I once had a bit of a following and could support a bit of staff, because I'm not sure I have the capacity to keep up. I do have one more in my system, one for that little girl I mentioned above. Hope to get started on that fairly soon.

I guess I'll keep on as I am and keep looking for a younger person who wants to learn. They have proved very hard to find, so far.

Ms Julie, maybe all that can provide a bit of perspective to help you find a constructive direction with your friend. I hope so. If he's got any sense, he'll take all the help you are willing to offer. And you are a wonder to want to help. Thanks for that.

Jim,

I could have written your reply if you substituted workbenches for boats . I expect I’m building my last full size bench, there maybe a few more portable benches but without help no mass.

ken