Al, I think the second part re the witch's mammary gland is " . . . in a brass bra in the middle of February."Originally Posted by Al Launier
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Al, I think the second part re the witch's mammary gland is " . . . in a brass bra in the middle of February."
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The way I heard it was meaner: "but fun to push down the stairs."
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Yah, that's the way I always heard it Patrick!
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
“If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
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Colder than a well diggers elbow( I've always here this one with a different part of the diggers anatomy - another word for his rear) (Another I've heard is "Colder than a Witch's mammary glands that rhyme with twit.)
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Cold enough to freeze the nuts off a bridge.
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Or a brass monkey.
jtk
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
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Flat out like a lizard drinking = very busy.
Dry as rocking horse turds - obv.
Black as the inside of a cow - for a really dark night.
Sharp as a bowling ball.
Ugly enough to scare the warts off a toad.
Like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end = impossible.
The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead/couple of sandwiches short of a picnic/a sixpack short of a slab = someone a bit slow.
So ugly the doctor slapped your mother.
And one I use occasionally on my students: 300 million sperm and you were the fastest?
Cheers, Robbie.
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Ack. Choke. Sputter. Splat!
(Spit coffee all over the monitor when I read that. Good one Robbie!)
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
“If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
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If your going to be a phony, at least be sincere about it.
jtk
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
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An old New England saying "Uglier than a mud fence"
When I lived in Iowa I learned "Slicker than $4it through a goose"; "Shaking like a dog $4itting peach pits" (I did not know they had that many peaches in Iowa.
BTW "Close enough for government work" originally meant that something met exacting standards. Now it means the opposite.
Doug
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That "brass monkey" thing? I heard it’s from seamen. The metal thing they stacked cannon balls on was a brass monkey.
So cold it would freeze the balls off a brass monkey.
Also . . .
— ugly enough to make a jackass back away from an oat bin.
— makin’ more noise than a jackass in a tin barn.
— rainin’ harder than a cow pissin’ on a flat rock.
Last edited by Tony Zona; 11-12-2018 at 11:02 AM.
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The common knowledge about this flat rock phenomenon has helped me to have fun and cause a few laughs. In my case the set-up story is about a buffalo versus the flat rock and why the buffalo nickel was discontinued:— rainin’ harder than a cow pissin’ on a flat rock.
Squirt Nickels 1.jpg
There is a different story about the back of the Jefferson nickel once displaying a fountain on the lawn of Monticello that had to be removed from the design:
Squirt Nickels 2.jpg
On the buffalo nickel there is a hole drilled in the C of Cents. On the Jefferson nickel the hole is drilled in the O of Of.
Sometimes the same person will fall for the joke with two different nickels. My aim is usually to go over their shoulder instead of in the face.
They have been some good cheap fun.
jtk
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
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Ya gotta be smarter'n what you're workin' with.
Meaning.....People as well as objects. Can't turn on a new power tool.....ya gotta be smarter'n what you workin' with. (use the power switch)
Thanks & Happy Wood Chips,
Dennis -
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....DEBT is nothing more than yesterday's spending taken from tomorrow's income.
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From East Texas area, Mom'nem. Mom and them, i.e. the whole family.
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"His men only follow him out of a sense of morbid curiosity" A leader that has no business being in the role . . .
"Every time he talks, I need a foghorn" Someone who is notorious for speaking with authority about things he knows nothing about.
"He's a politician in training" Someone who combines the best of the previous two sayings . . .
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