Are your projects appreciated by family?

[Perry Holbrook]

Back when shop projects were a hobby for me, I had time to make gifts for family members. To be honest, not everyone seems to show a lot of outward appreciation when receiving a gift that is "homemade" and that could describe at least half of those I have made gifts for.

At least that is what I thought until last week.

My mother-in-law passed away last week and on Friday my wife met her brothers and sisters at her mothers modest home for the unpleasant task of cleaning up the "memories". As I ask her how it went, what they found, and who took what, I noticed something.

After all the years and all the gifts her mother had received from 5 children and their families, with very few exceptions, the only gifts that were still in the house were the things I had made over the years. Most were projects that I did years ago as a beginner, candle stick holders, wall cabinet, shelf unit, boxes, lamp, bird feeder, etc.

I wanted to post this to give encouragement to everyone who has given or will give a handmade project this holiday season. If the reaction you get from the gift receiver is not as good as you had hoped for (after spending hours on it) have faith. In the long run it may turn into a treasured possession.

Perry

[Prashun Patel]

That's a really touching story. I'm gonna turn that into a short story for my kids, if you don't mind...

[Mike Wilkins]

Thanks for the encouragement. I sometimes get the same reaction after pouring hours into a project. Even after slicing a finger and a trip to the emergency room, while completing a project for my youngest daughter.
Mike, whose hometown is close by in Forest City.

[Prashun Patel]

Yeah. My biggest battle has been getting 'customers' to appreciate grain patterns or the clarity of a finish. Forget curly maple and shellac; they'd prefer poplar with a dark cherry gel stain...

[John Thompson]

The women on my wife's side of the family get Xmas gifts each year I make with most of those being pieces of furniture for their home. I will catch wind of something they need and build it.. then surprise them at Xmas. I have considered taking the phone out as they call all year to ask her if she will ask me to build this or that for them which I won't. I simply stay on schedule building for my wife which has a never-ending list it seems and I just don't have time so they get surprise's only.

So... I know for fact they do appreciate what they get as I see the pieces when in their home as permanent fixtures.

[Thomas Pender]

My sister had her home redone with beautiful naturally finished white oak by a consumate craftman recommended to me by Northland Forest Products (we used their flooring). (Included stairs - breathtakingly well done.) Her bed was unsatisfactory and she asked me to build her a headboard.

Well, I ended up building her an entire platform bed out of white oak finished to match her floor. (Took me a while - scale is large.) We installed it for her. Now, it gets back to me that everyone who comes to her home gets shown the bed where she braggs her brother made that for her.

I am working on something for my brother now he will pick up at Thanksgiving (which I will start a thread on once it is varnished) and some more stuff for my sister.

So, yes people appreciate what I do and yes it makes me feel great. No doubt about it - woodworking is the Rolls Royce of avocations.

[Craig McDaniel]

Maybe an arm's length of separation helps with the appreciation?

When I make things for my own home (ranging from cutting boards up to the entertainment center and our front door), the response I typically receive is lukewarm. "That's nice, but I could have bought it at [insert store]..." is about as good as it gets.

When someone visits and notices a piece I've made, the value of it seems to go up. Here's an example...one of the earlier projects I did for my wife was a jewelry box made of cherry with a purpleheart inlay. I gave it to her and it sat on her dresser (unused) for at least a year. Then, she showed it to one of her friends and the friend just gushed over it. The next fall, my wife decided to enter it as a craft at the state fair where it placed 3rd. Now it sits in a display cabinet with the ribbon along with the other collectibles that my wife has.

What's interesting is that her grandfather was a woodworker (I never met him) and she has several of his pieces. They are all reasonably well made but none are exceptional. What is different is the value that is attached to them. When we've talked about changing furniture, the pieces I've made can be sold/given away; the pieces from her grandfather are off-limits.

I think the surprise of receiving the project and uncertainty of receiving another one contributes greatly to its perceived value...

[Brian Kent]

The only gifts I have heard about years later are the ones my wife and I made in the shop.

She got into pewter a few years back and made a little manger set for each niece and nephew. They bring them out each year. My first year woodworking boxes are displayed on shelves. We feel loved.

[Rod Sheridan]

Absolutely.

I have objects ranging from small bowls to pieces of furniture in family and friends houses.

They're all in use or on display, and I feel at home at their houses......Rod.

P.S. The objects in my house that I've made are predominantly furniture. Diann likes those the best, and often "orders" a new piece.

I've always consulted her on the design of them, wood species, finish etc, and I guess she feels the same attachment to them that I do, as she had a hand in their construction.

Diann also makes the art glass portions such as lamp shades or glass inserts for doors.

[Paul Atkins]

My relatives and friends now expect tops and wooden ornaments every year and look a bit disappointed if they don't get one.

[David Prince]

I think family appreciates a quality piece, but let me throw a thought at you. What if that piece was "crap"? Now, would your extended family keep it out of consideration or appreciation. It would be an awkward conversation if it were asked about a few years down the road and you found out they threw it out. They probably feel obligated to keep it whether it is a perfect piece or a perfect piece of crap. My wife will not throw out a ugly shelf (piece of crap) because it was made by her grandfather who has since passed away. It is okay if she wants to keep it, but is it out of consideration or appreciation? She can keep it, but I wouldn't put it on my wall. Does everyone have a school project their kids made for them? It may be "crap", but we will all save something because it was made by someone in our life, quality or not!

[Rod Sheridan]

My relatives and friends now expect tops and wooden ornaments every year and look a bit disappointed if they don't get one.

I guess you're a victim of your own sucess Paul

Regards, Rod.

[Rod Sheridan]

Good point, maybe my friends and family are just keeping the pieces to avoid bruising my ego.

That's it! No Christmas presents for them!

Regards, Rod.

[David Perata]

One Christmas I made sixteen Shaker Wall Clocks for my brother to give as presents. These were the double door type. This is where I learned to build high quality furniture on a production basis with jigs.

My brother sent me some of the reactions from his friends who received the clocks and they made a huge impression. They were happy and he was happy at having given such an unusual and crafted gift "made by his brother."

Of course, I worked night and day and even then some arrived after Christmas due to the mail rush. By the way, I only send via US Priority Mail and NEVER UPS unless it is so indestructable that a truck could run over it and not hurt it.

[Josiah Bartlett]

My mother still has a desktop book stand that I made for her when I was in junior hi. She needed it when she injured her wrist and couldn't stand to write horizontally, so I just threw it together. It was just some pine with the ends dadoed into the face to provide a 45 degree angle and it doesn't even have a finish on it. I've offered to replace it for her and she refuses.

This year I'm making peppermills for various family members and friends. The prototype (in walnut) turned out great, so I've got a stack of blanks in prep. I've made a small production line out of it- set up once for each step, machine each blank, move on to the next step. They will all use the same mechanisms but I'm planning to free hand them into different forms. My wife told me that she gets to pick the nicest one for herself before I give them out.