Ken, my wife lol'ed when I read that to her.
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Ken, my wife lol'ed when I read that to her.
Not a lot today.
Here you go....
Attachment 430441
Some more- hopefully no repeats.
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Her are a few more I dug up. The last one I just couldn't resist.
Pretty good one Jim :D
http://www.engraver1.com/erase2/bsc.jpg http://www.engraver1.com/gifs/thegnat.gif
All right you guys, cut that out! It's a pain to keep cleaning my screen!
I fell for it.:rolleyes:
How to sew a mask
Attachment 430527
What do you mean? - a little sandpaper got it off mine.
Sheesh, I didn't even notice that.
1966 communist plot to take over America through social distancing.
Bill D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGgJPmOUmDU
Another one I don't remember seeing here. Attachment 430674
I keep finding new ones. The question is will we run out of CV-19 or these memes first?
Here's another one.
Attachment 430694
You have to be able to laugh at yourself...
A New York Exchange Trader was up BIG one day, and as he basked in the glow of having called the market so well, he reflected on his life: long hours, ulcers, high blood pressure, 2 ex-wives, kids who didn't know him, no friends, even his dog didn't much like him. So he sold it ALL, cashed out, bought a six month supply of food, and a 5000 acre ranch in West Texas where the only improvement was a small hunting cabin. He would spend his remaining days as a hermit.
Two months into his lonely self-exile, a dust trail came over the ridge, the dust resolved into a battered pick-up, and came to a stop at his cabin.
A man in a classic Stetson got out, extend a hand , and said, "Welcome! I heard we had a new neighbor! I hadn't seen you at the cafe so wanted to come by and say howdy!"
The New Yorker merely commented that he didn't get out much.
From the Stetson, "Well, I'm having a party just this Friday evenin' You otta stop by! I'm only the next place west on the road - 'bout 40 mile."
"Ok, I guess I could come ... at least to meet the neighbors."
"Great! Any time around 7. Oh, and I gotta warn you there might be some drinkin'...and a bit after that some dancin'."
Realizing he was probably near the buckle of the Bible-belt, he said, "No worries; I'm not offended by either."
And as the Stetson climbed back in the truck, he scanned the horizon, then in a hushed voice, "And latter there might even be some lovin'."
Having seen NYC party-goers in full rampage, our New Yorker maintained his composure, but thought to ask, "What should I wear?"
"Awwhh! It don't much matter. ...Its just you and me."
I can almost promise you we’ll be seeing these ads!
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At least aliens would likely be more interesting than zombies.
Attachment 430892
jtk
Found these while cleaning the storeroom. #6 hits a little too close to home....
Sixteen things that took me 50 years to learn.
1. You will never find anyone who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time.
2. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
3. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
4. The one thing that unites all of us, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnicity, is that deep down inside, we all believe we are above-average drivers.
5. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
6. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
7. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
8. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason the human race will never achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings".
9. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
10. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and that God decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will *not* use, as a messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
11. You should not confuse your career with your life.
12. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waitperson, is not a nice person.
13. No matter what happens, someone will find a way to take it too seriously.
14. When trouble arises, and things look really bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy.
15. Your friends love you, anyway.
16. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
#12 is so very true.
And I love #16!
Folks just keep coming with more.
Do it for the children
a few more
..
Missed it by this much....
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Today's take is kinda thin.
Intelligence ...
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Here's one.....
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…....and one more....
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A few more
..