Long Term Relationships and the Value of "Yes Dear"

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Originally Posted by Rich Engelhardt

My dad shared the secret of his 50 plus years of wedded bliss with us.

He said my mom made all the minor decisions and he made all the major decisions.

He quickly added that in over 50 years of marriage, not once did a major decision come along :D :D...

I took that to heart & my amazon temptress and I will celebrate 37 years of minor decisions in a little over a week from today ;).

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Rich, that is brilliant, thanks for that.............Rod.

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Originally Posted by Andrew Joiner

Now I know why some of my more stubborn friends are so happy.

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I re-read this old thread. I made a BIG mistake in my post starting this thread.

The above quoted sentence should be -- Now I know why some of my more stubborn friends are so unhappy.

Thanks

I learned when i went to refill drinks or food or what ever. I keep my wife's one in my right hand and mine in the left. that way she is always right and there are no mixups.
Bill

When SWMBO speaks, I say "Yes Dear". :)

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Originally Posted by lowell holmes

When SWMBO speaks, I say "Yes Dear". :)

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Married 48 years now (to the same women). I've learned lots of lessons like this. The most important was when she voices a problem with something it doesn't necessarily mean she wants me to offer a solution. First is agreement and sympathy if appropriate, then some communication to figure out if it's something she would like some help with!

JKJ

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Originally Posted by Andrew Joiner

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Andrew Joiner

Now I know why some of my more stubborn friends are so happy.

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I re-read this old thread. I made a BIG mistake in my post starting this thread.
The above quoted sentence should be -- Now I know why some of my more stubborn friends are so unhappy.

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Andrew, would you like the original message edited to correct the typo?

Yes, please John. Thanks

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Originally Posted by Andrew Joiner

I've been lucky. I've been with my wife for 24 years. I finally learned to do what my older friends told me. The sooner you say "yes Dear" life is easier.

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I've been saying that for a long time. It's kept me alive for 50 yrs. of wonderful... wedded... bliss...:D

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Originally Posted by Jim Becker

I don't have that situation, here...because I do the cooking. :) :D

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Me too. I started when we had kids and I couldn't be in the shop. Making food was kind of like building things so it kind of took the place of it. Plus then I got to eat what I wanted:)

You have it exactly right John Jordan. My wife calls it "venting" and usually all she wants is sympathy and someone to listen to the aggravations of her job. As a somewhat slow learner it took me a number of years to figure out that advise was neither wanted nor going to be heeded. She will ask if she wants advise, she is not shy (Major understatement).

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Originally Posted by Dave Anderson NH

... She will ask if she wants advise, she is not shy (Major understatement).

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The hardest thing about translating the double-X chromosome language was understanding the difference between venting and an implied call to action. For example, "The side of the road here is trashy." is far different than "The back floorboard of the car is trashy." The latter requires immediate action!

A marriage license should come with a printed instruction guide. Maybe there's a YouTube video these days. :)

JKJ

Happy wife happy life has become happy spouse, happy house. Both sides give up a little to gain a lot. Synergy. I can't imagine coming home to an empty house and bed. Been together since meeting her in church youth group in 1962. Perfect? No, but a whole lot better than being alone.

I have to wonder what is the advice that is given to them? I'm thinking its "keep them guessing".

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Originally Posted by Edward Fraser

My wife and I have been together for 19 years and the most important thing I learned in marriage is that:
1. she is always right, even when she is not
2. We should never argue, but help each other
3. The real man is the one who respects his wife and will always treat her like the queen, because she deserves it.

P.s. I'm new here. Hi, everyone!

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Greetings, Edward and welcome to the SMC forum.

I agree with your philosophy. Getting close to 51 years now for my Lovely Bride and me.
Fortunately, neither of us insist on being right! That helps a lot. We are both open to other perspectives and not afraid to say "you're right. Thanks!"

JKJ

Wow, amazing this thread was revived today. I made a mistake this morning and questioned why my wife wanted some small thing done. I was wrong, and made a big deal out of a small request. She thankfully let me know I was wrong.

It's not so much about saying "yes dear" out loud, but thinking it before I act or open my mouth. Sometimes I forget the spirit of "yes dear" and this is a good lesson for me today.
I know your all saying "practice what you preach Andrew":)