Good Holiday Shopping Advice

[Belinda Barfield]

First, I apologize if you feel this is sexist. I believe the gift giving road runs both ways. I'm sure you really don't want fuzzy tiger slippers for Christmas, but sometimes we women give them to you anyway.

Second, I don't work for the company that that is advertising. I just think this is darn funny!

http://bewareofthedoghouse.com:80/video.aspx

Don't let this happen to you this holiday season!

[Art Mulder]

While I've never done the vacuum thing... I have bought "practical" gifts for my wife before. However, not without my wife and I first agreeing that it was okay for us to buy each other such things, and not as the ONLY gift. :p

non-doghouse-dwelling Art

ps: but certainly not a thighmaster! ;)

[Elijah Fontenot]

We showed that video in our morning meeting at work and all the guys laughed thier heads off. Im sure it hit home for a few of them.

[Tim Morton]

i just bought a new vacuum cleaner....:D

[Benjamin Dahl]

Thanks Belinda, that was funny.
Ben

[Belinda Barfield]

i just bought a new vacuum cleaner....:D

For your sake Tim I hope it's not under the tree!:eek:

[Bonnie Campbell]

Getting household gifts for a woman is like handing a gas 'gift card' to a guy and telling him it'll help him get to work ;)

Though I never complained about small appliances. I even got a 6' step ladder for my birthday one year lol

[Thomas Knighton]

For their first anniversary together, my father bought my mother a waffle iron. His thinking was that Mom loves waffles, so now she can have them any time she wants. Mom read the gift as "Cook me waffles woman!"

Of course, for me and my wife's first anniversary, my Mom gave us a waffle iron. It's now a family tradition :D

For Christmas though? Not unless it's what was asked for. I prefer to sleep in the bed, rather than the couch.

[Belinda Barfield]

Getting household gifts for a woman is like handing a gas 'gift card' to a guy and telling him it'll help him get to work ;)

Though I never complained about small appliances. I even got a 6' step ladder for my birthday one year lol

Good one Bonnie! My SO doesn't do gifts, ever, for any occasion. So, I just go get what I want, wrap it up, and stick it under the tree. I'm usually pretty happy when I open my presents! Well, except for the year I bought myself some suede pants and they shrank while under the tree. :rolleyes: I do wish the man would buy jewelry though, that's one thing I can't justify buying for myself. I once told a friend that if I ever decided to marry again instead of wearing a ring I was going to get a tattoo of a ball and chain on my ring finger. Lucky thing the SO doesn't want to get married. Since he wouldn't buy me a ring I'd have to go through with the tattoo! :eek::D

[Dave Anderson NH]

Belinda,

I think the gift depends on the person. About 5 years ago I gave Sue a new electric stove for Christmas. She'd been complaining about the one we had for a year or two and had always complained about pulling out the burners and the aluminum cups to do the cleaning. She arrived home 2 days befrore Christmas from shopping and it was sitting there installed. She was absolutely thrilled and disdn't even take her winter coat off before trying it out. On the other hand, If I bought her a vacuum or a package of dish towels, you'd be able to read the logo of a cast iron frying pan embossed on the top of my head.

[Alan Schell]

While I've never done the vacuum thing... I have bought "practical" gifts for my wife before... ;)

I am fortunate that some of the "practical" gifts that i have bought my wife include: 1/2" bowl gouge, Woodturning Wizardry(book and tools), Disston shapening vise.. Whenever she gets asked from relatives "what does Alan want", she say's i can always use another Bessey clamp or two...

It is good to have my wife in the shop, now if we could just agree on what vises to put on THE bench.

[Brian Effinger]

For their first anniversary together, my father bought my mother a waffle iron. His thinking was that Mom loves waffles, so now she can have them any time she wants. Mom read the gift as "Cook me waffles woman!"

See...women just don't understand :D The guy was trying to be nice and thoughtful and it completely backfired though no fault of his own. :confused:;):p

Oh, and btw, this year ought to be interesting at my house. I told my wife that I will not tell her what I want for Christmas - we have been together for 10 years and she should know what I really like by now. So no clothing, or woodworking stuff (because she would have to ask me what I need). We'll see how this goes :rolleyes:

[Art Mulder]

I told my wife that I will not tell her what I want for Christmas - we have been together for 10 years and she should know what I really like by now. So no clothing, or woodworking stuff (because she would have to ask me what I need). We'll see how this goes :rolleyes:

Doghouse.:p

[David G Baker]

Gee, I had a wife like that once. Notice the word "HAD"!
My SO has been married a couple of times and widowed once. She is the type that would love to get a new vacuum cleaner or waffle iron for Christmas because in her previous relationships she was lucky to have a roof over her head.
I got her a set of ear rings and a matching necklace, a sweater and a surprise that I haven't figured out yet. Think I should get her a vacuum cleaner? :D

[Mark Hix]

I laughed at the video. My true love told me early on in the marriage "no appliances". I believed her.

It has been fun trying to surprise her over the years. The measure of a successful Christmas is seeing my wife and my kids smile. No BIG IDEAS yet this year for her but it will come.

[Bruce Page]

I saw this a few days ago. I learned this lesson the hard way during my first marriage.:rolleyes: It wasn’t pretty…but I meant well.

[Brian Effinger]

Doghouse.:p
Ahh, you have no faith.

That's Ok, neither do I - just don't tell my wife

[Bonnie Campbell]

I know this has been kind of a funny thread..... But we all need to admit our SO's aren't mind readers (mine isn't, nor am I). If we want a specific gift, ask for it without the hinting maybe? I know I've gotten some horrible gifts, and probably given some also. I was taught not to look a gift horse in the mouth and to just say 'thank you' with a smile. Can't say I used all the bad gifts, but I never returned one. Guess I'm just weird.

[David G Baker]

Bonnie,
You really hit the nail on the head when you said that most of us guys aren't mind readers. I have been married twice and in each of the two marriages I was expected to know what they wanted for gifts and be able to read moods, etc. I am totally not gifted in that way and never will be. If I was informed in the gift area I would been very happy to deliver. Must be some chromosome that I don't have.

[whit richardson]

This is from Dave Berry who knows where I live...
Gift Wrapping Tips for Men http://www.gcfl.net/images/stars/star_10.pnghttp://www.gcfl.net/images/stars/star_10.pnghttp://www.gcfl.net/images/stars/star_10.pnghttp://www.gcfl.net/images/stars/star_09.pnghttp://www.gcfl.net/images/stars/star_00.png

This is the time of year when we think back to the very first Christmas, when the Three Wise Men -- Gaspar, Balthazar, and Herb -- went to see the baby Jesus and, according to the Book of Matthew, "presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh."

These are simple words, but if we analyze them carefully, we discover an important, yet often overlooked, theological fact: there is no mention of wrapping paper.

If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so: "And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, 'Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it for next year!' And Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs. And the baby Jesus was more interested in the paper than the frankincense."

But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that the very first Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped. This is because the people giving those gifts had two important characteristics:

1. They were wise.
2. They were men.

Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the point of putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it off. This is not just my opinion, this is a scientific fact based on a statistical survey of two guys I know. One is Rob, who said the only time he ever wraps a gift is "if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be there when the person opens it." The other is Gene, who told me he does wrap gifts, but as a matter of principle never takes more than 15 seconds per gift. "No one ever had to wonder which presents daddy wrapped at Christmas," Gene said. "They were the ones that looked like enormous spitballs."

I also wrap gifts, but because of some defect in my motor skills, I can never completely wrap them. I can take a gift the size of a deck of cards and put it the exact center of a piece of wrapping paper the size of a regulation volleyball court, but when I am done folding and taping, you can still see a sector of the gift peeking out. (Sometimes I camouflage this sector with a marking pen.) If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body would be covered only by Scotch tape.

On the other hand, if you give my wife a 12-inch square of wrapping paper, she can wrap a C-130 cargo plane. My wife, like many women, actually likes wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness. If it were possible, my wife would wrap each individual volt.

My point is that gift-wrapping is one of those skills like having babies that come more naturally to women than to men. That is why today I am presenting:

Gift Wrapping Tips for Men:

* Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you recognizes it, you can claim that it's myrrh.

* The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it with an apple sliced in half horizontally and dipped in a mixture of food coloring and liquid starch. They must be smoking crack. If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper! Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it. This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky recipient on Christmas morning:

YOUR WIFE: Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree?
YOU: It's a gift! See? It has a bow!
YOUR WIFE (peering into the trash bag): It's a leaf blower.
YOU: Gas-powered! Five horsepower!
YOUR WIFE: I want a divorce.
YOU: I also got you some myrrh.

In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.

Written by Dave Barry.

[Belinda Barfield]

I know this has been kind of a funny thread..... But we all need to admit our SO's aren't mind readers (mine isn't, nor am I). If we want a specific gift, ask for it without the hinting maybe?

I agree with you Bonnie. However, I was very, very fortunate to have been married to one of the best gift buyers ever. Unfortunately, he decided he wanted to buy gifts for someone else. Throughout the year he made little notes whenever I mentioned I liked this or that, or wanted to read so and so's new book. He new what size I wore, what size ring I wore, my favorite color, author, musician, etc. He knew that I'm allergic to nickel. He didn't just give me a book, he wrote a message inside the cover. He knew my hobbies, one of which was crosstitch. One year he bought a pattern by an artist whose work I liked, and actually bought all of the thread to complete the project! I was completely spoiled by this. Big sigh . . . I hope his current wife appreciates him.

[Belinda Barfield]

This is from Dave Berry who knows where I live...
Gift Wrapping Tips for Men http://www.gcfl.net/images/stars/star_10.pnghttp://www.gcfl.net/images/stars/star_10.pnghttp://www.gcfl.net/images/stars/star_10.pnghttp://www.gcfl.net/images/stars/star_09.pnghttp://www.gcfl.net/images/stars/star_00.png


Whit, thanks for sharing this. I love it! My SO could not understand why we moved wrapping paper the last time we moved. I just can't throw it away. I don't save used paper, just whatever is left on the rolls. :o

I also have to admit to a little mental illness myself. When I read the Sunday comics if I read a cartoon that reminds me of someone in particular, I save the comics to use as gift wrap for that person. I wrap so that the cartoon is on the front and place a little border around it. I know, I should take medication. :D

[whit richardson]

Whit, thanks for sharing this. I love it!
I also have to admit to a little mental illness myself. When I read the Sunday comics if I read a cartoon that reminds me of someone in particular, I save the comics to use as gift wrap for that person. I wrap so that the cartoon is on the front and place a little border around it. I know, I should take medication. :D

There is no know drug that changes genetics... I rest my case. ;-)

[David G Baker]

Belinda,
Wasn't there a thread titled "PACK RAT" that was in the Off Topic area a while back? :D

[Belinda Barfield]

Belinda,
Wasn't there a thread titled "PACK RAT" that was in the Off Topic area a while back? :D

Busted! One of my resolutions last year was to "declutter", or at least make an attempt to do so. I'm working on it!

[Judy Kingery]

Belinda,

This is fun to read through what every one said, ha! Actually, my husband buys me perfect gifts, but I happen to be I guess a rather unusual mate, too; last year he got me an air compressor and I'm thrilled with it!!!! I got him a Sawzall and he has used it so much all year. HA! So I guess you could say we're soul mates. I don't like foo foo gifts and anything we get each other we end up both liking and using all the time, so it works out fine for us. I'm hoping for a new shop vac this year actually, ha!

Merry Christmas!!!

Jude

[Dave Verstraete]

I thought this was why the Lee Valley wishlist was started.....just email a link to it to your SO and all your family.

[glenn bradley]

I am a hopeless case. I refuse to buy sensible gifts for special occasions. If LOML wants new light fixtures in her hall; I'll put them in. But I wouldn't consider it a gift, even if I put them in on Valentine's Day.

A gift should be something the person wants that they normally wouldn't get themselves. It should reflect your intimate knowledge of the other person and personify your feeling for them . . . except in my case where she has learned to ask specifically at which time I supply a link, recommend a store or if it is an online purchase; recommend any other incidental items that might save on shipping as long as you're getting me the XYZ anyway ;-)

I get away with this because I have perfected my "what a surprise" act to perform in front of her family which makes her look like the all-knowing and empathic, intuitive goddess of man-gifting.

[Brian Effinger]

I get away with this because I have perfected my "what a surprise" act to perform in front of her family which makes her look like the all-knowing and empathic, intuitive goddess of man-gifting.
Cheater! :p:p

[Judy Kingery]

Today my husband and I went out and bought "A Christmas Story" 20" Leg Lamp for my brother, he's insane, loves the movie (so do we) and he will just keel over laughing. My brother and I have a long standing tradition of finding the most ridiculous presents we possibly can for one another. One year he bought me the letter "R," because, he said, I "didn't have one." So I sent him a bolt, "because it might come in handy." But this - this has to top it all, ha!

Ya'll have a Merry Christmas!

Jude

[Belinda Barfield]

I am a hopeless case. I refuse to buy sensible gifts for special occasions. If LOML wants new light fixtures in her hall; I'll put them in. But I wouldn't consider it a gift, even if I put them in on Valentine's Day.

A gift should be something the person wants that they normally wouldn't get themselves. It should reflect your intimate knowledge of the other person and personify your feeling for them . . .


Good for you Glenn! How lucky is she? I think you hit the nail on the head. After a number of years, he/she should have intimate knowledge that allows the partner to at least be in the ball park.

[John W. Love]

I don't get it, whats wrong with a vacuum cleaner for the wife on an anniversary? ;)

[Peter Stahl]

Great Video. Headed to the jewelery store this week. Never gave my wife a appliance she didn't ask for.

[Brian Kent]

Belinda and others, my wife and I are very affectionately in love. We are romantic. But I also like t get her what she asks for. In the last couple of years the list has included:

A new vacuum.

A long-handled broom.

She was delighted. Then I heard that the two things you should never get your wife are appliances and exercise videos. Last Christmas she asked for a Blender/Food Processor and a Yoga Video. I had to oblige.

So I was joking with her about the gifts and asked her what she wanted for next month's birthday?

Dirt. She wants dirt. Potting soil and stuff to go with it, but mainly just special dirt.

In fairness to myself, I also buy her Tresor perfume and put curtains, paint, and a refinished floor in our bedroom. All exactly what she asked for.:confused:

[Belinda Barfield]

Belinda and others, my wife and I are very affectionately in love. We are romantic. But I also like t get her what she asks for. In the last couple of years the list has included:

A new vacuum.

A long-handled broom.

She was delighted. Then I heard that the two things you should never get your wife are appliances and exercise videos. Last Christmas she asked for a Blender/Food Processor and a Yoga Video. I had to oblige.

So I was joking with her about the gifts and asked her what she wanted for next month's birthday?

Dirt. She wants dirt. Potting soil and stuff to go with it, but mainly just special dirt.

In fairness to myself, I also buy her Tresor perfume and put curtains, paint, and a refinished floor in our bedroom. All exactly what she asked for.:confused:

Brian, you don't have a unique gift problem, you have a very special, and practical wife! She is very lucky because you actually listen.

If a woman asks for appliances, or exercise gear, or dirt, then that is exactly what you should give her. It's the unexpected broom and mop that throw us a curve! A number of years ago I asked for, and received, a treadmill for Christmas. It was exactly what I wanted. I would LOVE to receive a big bag of potting soil and some heirloom seeds/plants. As I've noted before, my SO doesn't give gifts, so I don't have to worry about receiving the "wrong" one. :rolleyes: I think the key here is to make an effort to know and understand your partner. You obviously do. I hope you got her something extra special for Valentine's Day!

[Brian Kent]

Thanks for your response. My wife likes it too!

[Frank Guerin]

A dozen pink roses for the lady of my life and then a very nice restaurant and just for fun an ice cream at the local Dairy Q.

Of course I'm only telling everone that I took her to Dairy Q for valentines. I mean as a man I do have to show some chavenism.


:D