A Little Snow Humor

[Belinda Barfield]

For those of you receiving snow . . .

One winter morning a couple was listening to the radio over breakfast.

They hear the announcer say, 'We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through. Norman 's wife, Annie goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer says, 'We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through.' Norman 's wife Annie goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says 'We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...' Then the power goes out.

Norman's wife Annie is very upset and with a worried look on her face she says, 'Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?'

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, Norman says...

'Annie Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time.'

[Mitchell Andrus]

That's a good one.

[Phyllis Meyer]

Belinda...wow, I thought you were describing a winter's day in Wisconsin! My husband is a snow plow driver (County Highway Worker), and will love this one!

Phyllis:)

[Dick Latshaw]

What is this 'snow' thing that you folks keep talking about?:D

[Belinda Barfield]

What is this 'snow' thing that you folks keep talking about?:D

I'm with you on this one Dick. My only experience with "snow" is what we got when I lived in Augusta, Georgia. Once a year or so we got the nasty frozen precip that just basically iced everything up, with a light dusting of tiny ice crystals that everyone called snow. Basically I usually got three days off from work when we had one of these events, so I didn't complain!

[Don Bullock]

Snow?? Is that some sort of white stuff that precipitates from the sky? Oh yea, I saw some in New York when I was there in January. Pretty, but cold.

[Phyllis Meyer]

Sleigh rides, Skiing, Sledding...you "Southern Folks" are really missing out! Just how does Santa get to your house? We got 3 inches last night and it's beautiful here. Give me until May and I'll be complaining about it, wishing I lived where you guys live:eek:

It looks like a snow-globe here right now!
Have a great day,
Phyllis:)

[Jason Beam]

I grew up in snow almost until my adult years. Then I moved away and never went back :D

Something I've noticed in the non-snow laden parts of this country: With people for whom snow has never been work, it's a novelty and recreational. They will actually drive for hours in a blizzard up a mountain just to play in it.

Those of us sane folks who managed to escape it have little interest in "playing" in snow because we know sooner or later someone will hand us a shovel or a plow will go by right behind our car. Pretty for 5% of the time is not enough to make me like it, no way no how!

[Mark Rios]

Sleigh rides, Skiing, Sledding...you "Southern Folks" are really missing out! Just how does Santa get to your house? We got 3 inches last night and it's beautiful here. Give me until May and I'll be complaining about it, wishing I lived where you guys live:eek:

It looks like a snow-globe here right now!
Have a great day,
Phyllis:)



Sorry Phyllis, but I was born and raised in Santa Cruz, CA. I'm not really missing out on anything. :D

The snow IS nice and pretty, I've had some great experiences while climbing in the snow, but I'll take the CA weather any day.

[Clara Koss]

hilarious....did not expect that ending.... happy winter....:p

[Belinda Barfield]

you "Southern Folks" are really missing out! Phyllis:)

Maybe, but this "Southern Gal" has a rose bush that is still blooming. :D

[Ken Garlock]

Hi Belinda, Did you know:

There are only two blond jokes, all the rest are true.

Then there was the blond that took two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

[Belinda Barfield]

Hi Belinda, Did you know:

There are only two blond jokes, all the rest are true.

Then there was the blond that took two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Here is my SO's favorite, an oldie but a goodie.
Two blonds walk into a building. You'd think one of the would have seen it.

[Jim O'Dell]

My favorite is actually woodworking related.
There were 2 blonds nailing up some paneling in the Jill's home. Jill notices that Jan would pick up a nail, if the head pointed the right direction to nail it in, she would. If it was backward she would throw it away in the trash. Jill asked her what she was doing, and Jan told that the nails were backward and wouldn't go into the wood. Jill, said, "Don't be wasteful and stupid...those are for the wall on the other side of the room." :eek: Jim.

[Dennis Peacock]

Thanks Belinda..!!!! I'm a southern boy but for some odd reason, I really enjoy snow and absolutely love winter. Maybe I'm a strange bird, but I am a southerner that love winter....maybe it's because I can't stand the extreme heat of summer. ;)

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Belinda....if you have never stood on a snow covered mountain top on a chilly morning and saw snow covered ridge after snow covered ridge after snow covered ridge......One of the prettiest sites I've ever seen.

If you have never been on top of a snow covered mountain...whiteout conditions.....4 wheeling it in your P/U...you, your youngest son and a hunting buddy.....barely can see you tracks where you drove up 15 minutes earlier....suddenly in the thickly blowing snow off to the side of the road.....a bobcat?......then it just disappears in the heavily falling snow....

If you've never dove off a run on the first run of the day.....20" of new powder.......you point them down hill.....get up enough speed......and then make long sweeping turns to control your speed....it's like skiing on a feather bed....so smooth.......swoooooooooooshhh..........sw0ooooooo oooshhhh.........swoooooosh.....



Here's another blonde snow joke:

A blonde is driving in a snow storm. She tucks in behind a snow plow and follows it closely for nearly an hour.

Finally the snow plow driver stops and asks "Is there something I can do for you, Ma'am?"

"No" replies the blonde. "My Daddy told me that if I was ever driving in a bad snow storm, to get behind a snow plow and follow it."

"Okay" says the snow plower driver " but be warned ....I"m almost finished with the Walmart parking lot!":D

[Belinda Barfield]

Belinda....if you have never stood on a snow covered mountain top on a chilly morning and saw snow covered ridge after snow covered ridge after snow covered ridge......One of the prettiest sites I've ever seen.

Ken,

I should have said my only experience in "dealing" with snow was in Augusta. I have experienced snow but didn't have to deal with the plows, and shoveling, etc. I do love snow, but only to visit. It's beautiful falling down when I'm snuggled in the lodge with hot chocolate and a good book by the fire.

If you have never tried to drive in Georgia when the least flurry of snow starts to fall, then you've missed an experience. It is total insanity. There are runs on grocery stores, bread shelves empty, no bottled water. People rushing to get home, as if they are going to be stranded in drifts if they don't make it. Wrecks everywhere. Powerlines go down. Schools close, county offices close, etc. Although in defense of the people making the closing decisions, we aren't equipped to deal with ice down here.

[Al Willits]

Snowmobiling, sleding, ice skating, ice fishing (no you don't fish for ice) skiiing are all things that can be fun during winter...

Unfortnately a little ice fishing is the only thing that I do, so if nothing else, winter gives me a time to clean the shop, a added bonus is the wife won't bundle up to come out to the garage and check on whether I'm actually doing anything or not..

Yes, winter does have it's good points..:D

At 30 I enjoyed winters, at 60+, I tolerate them for the enjoyable summers we have, and all them lakes that need to be fished.

Al....who's still working on a blonde joke that's proper for a family forum...:D

[Belinda Barfield]

Snowmobiling, sleding, ice skating, ice fishing (no you don't fish for ice) skiiing are all things that can be fun during winter...
:D

Al, and all you other folks in the great frozen north, can just laugh at me for what I'm about to tell you. It doesn't matter to me if you tell me the ice is 20 feet thick and won't thaw for ten years, I'm not going to trust it. I have this really unreasonable fear of falling through ice, which is insane really as I have never lived anywhere that ponds and lakes ice over. Maybe too much TV when I was young, maybe some past life experience, maybe because I drowned at age 9 and had to be resuscitated, who knows. If you tie me off to a tree or something, and put some floaties on my arms, I might consider ice fishing since I really do love to fish and have never tried it. :D

Belinda . . . waithing patiently for Al's blond joke.

[Al Willits]

Don't feel bad, every year we have a few who think the ice is safe and end up in the water, if people are around, things usually work out, if not then we may have a death.

Unless their driving vehicles on the lake I stay off, like you I have no desire to go swimming in 10 degree weather.

Al...still working on them jokes..:D

[Dick Latshaw]

Those of us sane folks who managed to escape it have little interest in "playing" in snow because we know sooner or later someone will hand us a shovel or a plow will go by right behind our car. Pretty for 5% of the time is not enough to make me like it, no way no how!

I grew up in Minneapolis. Nuff said.:cool: