The Woodworkers wife

[alex grams]

So, it is a common joke to refer to my wife as a 'garage-widow' since i am always working on projects (though she doesn't see to complain when she gets new custom made furniture).

Well, the first sign I knew I picked the right one when we were on our honeymoon in Hawaii and i was able to drag her into a local specialty wood store and buy a large chunk of Koa wood to ship back home.

The second sign was this past weekend when we were in a lumber yard and she makes the comment 'i love the smell of fresh cut wood'.

I nearly teared up right there in the middle of the store.

[Keith Starosta]

I am veeeery slowly, and not-so-much surely bringing my wife around. When I first started down this road, she very rarely showed any interest, thinking that this was going to be just another passing thing for me. As time has gone on, I've actually started producing finished pieces, which she likes very much. I can't say that she has started "looking out" for woodworking-related stuff for me, but I'm gonna keep chipping away at her crust. :D

- Keith

[Matthew Poeller]

I find the best way to accomplish this is to do stuff for the wife. The easiest way is to buy a house that is a bit of a fixer upper, the one that we just recently purchased and start making things look awesome. I have just finished the office and the 3rd bedroom and hallway were sanded yesterday. She loves all the oak trim with the oak floor. The last two things that she purchased for me to make my life easier was a Bostich small compressor with the 3 guns and a Festool Vacuum to keep the dust down.

She loves everything and I am cashing in tool wise.

[alex grams]

I have already convinced my wife I need a jointer (which I do). The aforementioned Koa I purchased is going to be used to make some side tables and a runner table (a long 1" deep table for pictures and such that sits against the wall) for our living room, which I am going to trim and frame with walnut. I find it will make the perfect honeymoon souvenir. It is something that is unique to Hawaii (where we went), unique as a gift (so many gifts in Hawaii were the same things, and very few things truly unique), and something i can make, so in my opinion, the perfect item for a memory of our trip.

She does like the new kitchen countertops with tile backsplash, the new custom built in cabinets next to the fireplace, the new marble around the fireplace, the new bathroom tile, the new entryway tile, and the various other things i have done to improve the house.

I like your advice Matthew on the fixer-upper. Unfortunately my wife was never used to a house being a project, while I grew up with things continually being worked on in our house. My wife likes the results, i enjoy the work.

[Irvin Cooper]

When I first started woodworking, my bride showed very little interest, and pretty much zero enthusiasm for furniture that I wanted to build. I think she envisioned two-by-four pine futons.....

The first piece I built was a sofa table out of bubinga with maple inlays. She now has an ever-growing list of pieces she wants me to build, and shares my enthusiasm (or at least now tolerates mine) for the craft.

While I thoroughly enjoy building, 50% of the pleasure is seeing her satisfaction with the final piece.

Regards.

Irv
Gig 'em
A&M Class of '90

[Steven Shelby]

I would also have to consider myself very lucky to have married the perfect woodworker's wife.

She buys me (or really lets me buy) needed tools and I build her cool custom furniture. It makes her very happy! We have a saying in our house when it comes to buying gifts: "Nothing says 'I Love You' like an oscillating spindle sander!"

For the same reason, she doesn't mind when I get up at 5:30am to work in the shop while she sleeps, or when I head for the shop right after I get home from work. She knows something cool for her dining room or a nice addition to the family room will be coming through the door soon!

[Ken Fitzgerald]

My wife doesn't know a 2x4 from a log....but after I built my first piece of furniture......She had me hire a contractor and had the empty shell built for my shop......Not only that.....she's older than I and could have retired but she continues to work to pay for that shop......Since I started turning she is constantly amazed and interested by how you can take a bland piece of rough wood....and find some really beautiful stuff inside it.


BTW....she wants me to take our income tax rebate and buy a jointer....:D

I've got a winner!:)

[Travis Gauger]

When I started to get into woodworking My wife was sceptical. She showed no interest and really tried to Curb my apetite for new tools. As time went on, I finsihed a few pieces of furniture. Those pieces changed her mind. The two notable ones were a sofa table and a wine rack. Both of which she didn't like until they were complete. Now, she has a list for everyroom with notes for me. I have been finding myself overly busy with getting a few commisions out of the way and she lets me know she wants her stuff too.

[Larry Fox]

Same here - wife had no interest whatsoever but didn't hassle me about tools / time etc. Now that she has seen some stuff come put of the shop the list continues to grow. Turning point for her was the kitchen, I vividly recall her saying "yuk, I don't want a cherry kitchen". However, after I started showing her finish options she started getting excited and wanted to know when I would be done. Several other house projects and full bedroom sets for each of our kids later - she is sold on the fact that I can actually build some stuff.

Big moment for us was when we were in a furniture store recently and she was looking at a piece and made critical comments about the joinery, finish and quality of materials and commented that she would rather wait and invest in the tools necessary for me to build it than to pay the cost the store was asking.

[alex grams]

Irvin,
Happy to see another Aggie on here, my wife and I are both '04.

[Mike Spanbauer]

Yeah... at first my wife was really put off by my tool purchases as she came from a humble upbringing and spending xxxx on tools was not fathomable to her (only cars and houses cost more than $1k) but w/ the produced pieces and also her confidence in my bargain hunting abilities, she now compliments me on good (intelligent) purchases.

Gloat warning example: Last week I picked up a G1033 20" Griz planer for $600 without mentioning it to her as I couldn't hesititate on it or it would have been sold and I in turn sold my 15" planer for $550 which was a decent deal for the new owner also as he was just about to pick up a $500 DW735. Now he gets a stationary planer which works VERY well (+ mobile base and a spare set of knives) and I ended up w/ a serious upgrade and nice gloat). My wifes response? "Excellent work dear! $50 upgrade for that? (looking at the new 750lb monster) you did very well!"

mike

[Amy Leigh Baker]

I'm curious... how many guys here would like it if their LOML's were as interested in woodworking and usually beat them to the shop in the mornings and after work?

From a relationship standpoint I think it would be nice. From a woodworking standpoint I don't think I would like it. I like to make my own decisions and wouldn't appreciate someone getting in my way. Maybe that's just me.

Amy

[J. Z. Guest]

Great thread.

My wife says I smell sexy when I smell like charcoal smoke or sawdust. :D

[Rod Sheridan]

I Guess I'm very lucky, Diann is interested in both of my hobbies, vintage motorcycles and woodworking.

Diann has her own motorcycle, and the wood lathe in the basement is hers, although she lets me use it.

I just recently purchased a Hammer A3-31 planer jointer, partially motivated by Diann wanting me to joint a wide piece of oak for her. When I commented that my jointer wasn't that wide, however I could rip it, and glue it back together, she said, that's stupid, how come the planer is so much wider than your jointer (8 inches versus 14)? You need a wider jointer.

When she tells me to get a new piece of machinery, who am I to disturb the peace and quiet of my domestic situation by arguing?

When we looked at the different combination machines, the first one we looked at was the Laguna Platinum series, however the fit and finish wasn't very good, and the jointer tables flipped up towards the operator, causing Diann to comment, "You're not going to be satisfied with that one, you'll just end up buying a Felder in a year or two".

So, off we went to the Felder rep, where we decided on the Hammer.

regards, Rod.

[Irvin Cooper]

Amy raises an interesting point. I wonder what the take is from men whose loml is the woodworker?

Irv

[J. Z. Guest]

I'm curious... how many guys here would like it if their LOML's were as interested in woodworking and usually beat them to the shop in the mornings and after work?

Amy, I think most of us would LOVE it.

Also, if you're going to make a comment like that around here, you should mention whether you're already taken. :D

[Dan Lee]

Well I am a lucky man my wife started turning a few years ago.

Awhile back she was drilling pen blanks at the drill press and delares the 16 year old CMan is a piece of crap. Actually it has seen better days and I have been thinking of replacing it for quite awhile.

Any way this weekend she said she would be near the Rockler and did I need anything ... sure have them load up a new Powermatic drill press.

And she did and a few hours later... Gotta love it


83790

[Mike Cutler]

I'm curious... how many guys here would like it if their LOML's were as interested in woodworking and usually beat them to the shop in the mornings and after work?

From a relationship standpoint I think it would be nice. From a woodworking standpoint I don't think I would like it. I like to make my own decisions and wouldn't appreciate someone getting in my way. Maybe that's just me.

Amy


Yep, I think that might have some downsides.

My wife likes to sort through the wood piles and pick the wood, which is great. She has a better eye than I do for the intangibles, and looks at a piece of wood from a much different point of view than I do, and how it would fit into a project.
Once the machines start up though, the show is up to me. A mutually agreed upon division point.
It's a good collaboration for us.

[Larry Fox]

I'm curious... how many guys here would like it if their LOML's were as interested in woodworking and usually beat them to the shop in the mornings and after work?

From a relationship standpoint I think it would be nice. From a woodworking standpoint I don't think I would like it. I like to make my own decisions and wouldn't appreciate someone getting in my way. Maybe that's just me.

Amy

I personally would like it if she took an interest but it would depend on what level of interest she took. If she were to do it, I would want her to do it full-bore as opposed to here and there. Having partially finished projects in the shop would drive me nuts.

[Mike Spanbauer]

One other aspect of involvement with my wife is that she is an artist (oil, canvas, watercolors... that kind :)) and she has an excellent eye for grain and pattern matching. I'll lay out a shopsawn veneer set on my workbench and call her in and she'll shuffle them around once or twice and voila.. she has the best visual layout for balance and color integrity.

mike

[Nancy Laird]

I've posted this here before, but I'll repeat it. David has been doing some form of woodworking since his teens, and I got into it when I quickly determined that the only way to spend any quality time with my spouse was to be in the garage/shop with him. I started out small – sanding, holding, catching – then moved on to helping him with finishing. We do custom furniture and cabinetry – when we can get the commissions – and we build all our own furniture and cabinetry. We've had a side business for as long as we've been married. Now we work together on designing things and in the shop building things. Not only that, but when I expressed an interest in learning to turn, he bought me a mini-lathe, and now I turn pens and bottle stoppers and have done a couple of bowls.

Woodworking is fun, and it's something that we do and enjoy together.

Nancy

[Greg Cole]

My foray into WW'ing came with buying a home as well. I was 25 & travelled ALOT for work then.... but that gave me the chance to earn "flex time" and have some time off in compensation for overtime-traveling. Traveling gave time for research-homework and planning, flex time gave me the chance to try my hand per say. General house improvement was a progression to "finer" woodworking, if I can replace siding, windows, roofing, build a new deck & patio etc etc etc I can do this that & the other thing. Proverbial elbow grease, "can-do" attitude and a few basic tools got me a good ways (can't say as the list of tools is quite so "basic" now though :rolleyes:). My BIL was just visiting last week and he went into the garage-shop and looked at my "stuff" and said "Dude, you're nuts."
My wife has zero qualms of how I spend my time and money (there are far worse alternatives out there). I've never tried to tell her I can do it cheaper or faster, but I can do it better, and the next one will be better & better...
Having LOML take in interest in WW'ing would be fine with me, but I think I'll win the powerball first. She will give me cannon fodder for ideas on the next project and leave it at that until it's time for the next.

Greg

[Alan Schell]

I'm curious... how many guys here would like it if their LOML's were as interested in woodworking and usually beat them to the shop in the mornings and after work?

From a relationship standpoint I think it would be nice. From a woodworking standpoint I don't think I would like it. I like to make my own decisions and wouldn't appreciate someone getting in my way. Maybe that's just me.

Amy

Before I got home Friday, LOML had already started putting a finish on a project on the Lathe so I couldn't stir up dust all weekend. But my birthday is this week and I have been told that I have something coming in from Blue Spruce:D We spent the alot of time disussing a miniture finishing cabinet to avoid such conflicts in the future. I think her idea of converting a rotisarry has some merit. Now all i have to figure out is how to scale back the heat and increase the timer:rolleyes:

[Mike Spanbauer]

Go simpler Alan. A mild heatlamp and a plywood shell (can be 1/8 bending ply even).

[Judy Kingery]

Interesting thread, ha, I taught my husband how to turn several years ago, and although he's quite capable of building something, generally I'm the one in the shop all the time. He doesn't mind at all. Most of the time I get my turning time during the day while he's at work so when he comes home we have plenty of time together to visit and catch up. We've always been comfortable supporting each other in doing what each of us wants to do! Jude

[Brian J. Williams]

I knew things were going to be good after we first got married. My wife produces a small chair that she made for her (now our) daughter. She made it out of walnut gunstock cut-offs (her folks live in Warsaw, MO). Several years after that, my DEAR wife finds me a pretty clean Stanley 45 with all the irons for a Christmas present. I get the tools, she gets custom-built furniture.

Seems like a fair trade to me.

Brian

[Bill Wyko]

So, it is a common joke to refer to my wife as a 'garage-widow' since i am always working on projects (though she doesn't see to complain when she gets new custom made furniture).

Well, the first sign I knew I picked the right one when we were on our honeymoon in Hawaii and i was able to drag her into a local specialty wood store and buy a large chunk of Koa wood to ship back home.

The second sign was this past weekend when we were in a lumber yard and she makes the comment 'i love the smell of fresh cut wood'.

I nearly teared up right there in the middle of the store.
I'm sitting here chuckling right now. I'm going to Hawaii in a couple months and I already said I have to find the wood working stores and ship some back to myself.:D My lathe is better known as the Mistress.:eek:

[Paul Johnstone]

I'm curious... how many guys here would like it if their LOML's were as interested in woodworking and usually beat them to the shop in the mornings and after work?

From a relationship standpoint I think it would be nice. From a woodworking standpoint I don't think I would like it. I like to make my own decisions and wouldn't appreciate someone getting in my way. Maybe that's just me.

Amy

Great point. I'm glad my wife and I have seperate hobbies. If she wanted to come down in the shop and make things too, I think it would cause conflicts, as I often stop something when it is only half way complete, work on something else, and then finish later. If we were sharing shop space, she would probably get very annoyed.. Sometimes, it's not by choice. I have 5 pieces that I am waiting until spring to stain/poly, because I like to open the basement windows so the whole house doesn't stink.

Not to mention, she has a habit of putting things away in random spots. I can tolerate that in the kitchen, but I wouldn't want to deal with that in the shop..

Plus, I think it's nice for couples to have some seperate interests. We all need a little relax time away from our partner sometimes.

[Bill Wyko]

Well I am a lucky man my wife started turning a few years ago.

Awhile back she was drilling pen blanks at the drill press and delares the 16 year old CMan is a piece of crap. Actually it has seen better days and I have been thinking of replacing it for quite awhile.

Any way this weekend she said she would be near the Rockler and did I need anything ... sure have them load up a new Powermatic drill press.

And she did and a few hours later... Gotta love it


83790
I've got one of those drill presses and I love it. You will too. Way to go to the wife.:D

[Keith Beck]

I nearly teared up right there in the middle of the store.

I get the same way when my wife wants to come out to the shop and make a few shavings with one of my handplanes. :D

Keith

[Amy Leigh Baker]

It seems that the significant others that are in the shop split the work rather than do the same kind of work... i.e. one does the cutting and building and the other does the designing and/or finishing, etc. In other words, no men making a table while a woman makes a different table. That would bug me.

Now, I do enjoy cutting, joinery, etc. but I really love the design. That's what I can spend hours doing. So I could see me doing that and finishing and my BF building it :) How about it guys? Would anyone want a woman who constantly produces SketchUp! designs to have you build so I can finish them? I know, stupid question :p


Also, if you're going to make a comment like that around here, you should mention whether you're already taken. :D

:eek: Ack, and cheat on my TS. I used to have a boyfriend, but he insulted my miter saw so I had to dump him. Kidding, although it would be nice if boyfriends came with on/off buttons.

[Dennis Lindhorst]

for years, at gift giving time, my wife would simply go see my favorite hardware store guy and ask, "what's he want?" worked great. She has agreed to let me have half of the 2 car garage full time, all of is sometimes! Ive been making alot of adirondack chairs lately- the other night she made a very clear point that we will be hosting an open house for our son's high school graduation in June and we have NO CHAIRS on OUR porch. I guess, that means I should get busy? You know how it goes- wife not happy, husband not happy......

[Steven Shelby]

I'm curious... how many guys here would like it if their LOML's were as interested in woodworking and usually beat them to the shop in the mornings and after work?

From a relationship standpoint I think it would be nice. From a woodworking standpoint I don't think I would like it. I like to make my own decisions and wouldn't appreciate someone getting in my way. Maybe that's just me.

Amy

Very thoughtful insight, Amy!

I am not sure how great it would be from either a relationship point of view or from the woodworking side of it. My woodworking is my escape. Escape from everything, including work, the real world, and yes, from my wife. We share almost everything. If we shared everything, our marriage would not be entering it's 10th year.

My wife knows alot about woodworking. She can sit in the family room and know what tool I'm using by the sound. And she understands what those tools are used for. But if she were to come into the shop and want to do her own projects, there would be an issue. We each have things that we enjoy by ourselves... keeps us healthy.

[Monroe Brown]

My wife regularly helps me schlep plywood into the basement shop and, most recently, helped haul a new Grizzly 8 inch jointer from the driveway down into the basement. And she's only 5'6" 120lbs. Two hours of shear terror, let me tell you. But she kept her humor the entire time and the jointer runs great. She'll get a new cherry/mahogony desk for that.

MB

[Eric Haycraft]

Careful Amy.. If you don't watch yourself you are going to get marriage proposals on here.

Personally, I would like a helper around the shop. As long as she used the tools properly I would like it. Help with designing things and picking out wood would be nice too. I always hate finishing, so someone that would do that instead would be a bonus too.

[alex grams]

very interesting responses and a neat direction for this thread to go.

I wouldn't want my wife to try and do the same thing i am doing in the garage (help sometimes? yes, work together on same thing? not so much). Just like she is in the kitchen, it is where she enjoys focusing and doesn't want me in the way, so vice versa in regards to the garage.

[Katherine Bercaw]

We were dating for 6 months. He got me a porter cable air compressor and two nail guns. His family & friends thought he was nuts. I screamed and jumped in his lap :D Then, I went and played with my new toys while he cooked me lobster. He's definately a keeper.

Now, as to him actually coming in to my shop? :eek: Hmm, no, not if I want to find anything. I put tools away. He doesn't. If we're wrenching on the go karts he'll steal my tools 'cause he can't find the other 6 1/2" sockets he'd been using 2 seconds ago :(

[Judy Kingery]

Katherine, that is priceless! My husband bought me an aircompressor for Chirstmas, and his co-workers thought he was nuts. He told them, 'trust me, she's gonna love this!' Yep, I'd say I pretty much did the same thing you did, threw my arms around his neck and said oh, baby, this is perfect!!! God bless good husbands who have wives who like tools and shop items, ha! Course it also helps when you marry your very best friend, which in our case mutually is true. Have a good one! Jude

[David DeCristoforo]

"...He got me a porter cable air compressor and two nail guns...He's definately a keeper...Now, as to him actually coming in to my shop? Hmm..."

I love this! Perspective... it's all about perspective. Personally I would love to share my shop with the love of my life who has been my partner in all things. Unfortunately it's "not her thing" at all. You guys who worry about your wife being in your shop... consider yourselves lucky if your wife wants to come in your shop!

YM

[John Thompson]

I like to work alone as working with someone in the shop to me can be a large distraction.. especially if both parties are not on the same page. My wife has her hobbies which also requires concentration. We respect each others turf. Besides.. she's too young to be around dangerous machinery!

Well.. she does come down about once a week to get the bedding to wash for me. Canned food just gets rolled down the stairs.. so no inter-ruptions there. :)

Sarge..

[Jim Becker]

Professor Dr. SWMBO also is not woodworking inclined (she does some very nice knitting, but only on airplanes it seems) but is more than supportive of my avocation. She appreciates the output of the shop and also appreciates the mental health benefits it (purportedly) brings to me. There has never been even any conversation about my shop investments, but that's more a function of our still keeping separate accounts even after almost 7 years of marriage; she having been independent and single for over 40 years when we met.

Amy, if the LOML (or the LOML-etts) expressed an interest in woodworking or any other craft, I'd be more than supportive. It's good for the mind and the body.

[Lee Koepke]

I prefer a wife that 'appreciates' what I do, respects my desires, and understands my hobby. Moreso than one that works along side me.

At my stage I prefer my own space and that gives me time to create things for her !!

[Mike Cutler]

although it would be nice if boyfriends came with on/off buttons.

Ahhh, hmmmm... I have 5 sisters, yes I really do. It seemed to me, while growing up, that boyfriends were like windup toys with on/off buttons watching them "at work".
Like watching a pro fisherman work a bass in a wading pool.

I used to feel so sorry for those guys. I think they must have had a lottery to finally pick the winner(s), 'cause they all looked the same to me.;)

[richard poitras]

We might just have to start up a new section on single wood workers looking for partners with tools! :D

[Alan Greene]

MY wife has encouraged my hobby from day one:). The only rule is that she can park her car inside the garage at night most of the time. She has listened to me debating on which tool to get and, asking smart questions, then basically saying get the best you can within our budget. Last Christmas was a smörgåsbord of Lee Valley and Lie Nielson tools including planes, measuring tools etc. :D Since my time in the shop varies depending on my health on a particular day she has been very patient on waiting for finished projects. She spends a little time in the shop but prefers her gardening. I could not ask for a better partner in life whether it involves woodworking or not.:) It was my birthday yesterday, I was 25 for the twenty-something time, and my surprise is on the way.:D

[Charles Wilson]

My wife likes to make lists of things to build. Does that count? :)

Chuck

[Colin Giersberg]

It might not be too bad for my wife to help out, but I have always liked working on things by myself. My biggest fear is that she might try cutting a board on the tablesaw, and have an accident, but that applies to most any tool that I have. The other issue is that she might use one of my tools as a hammer, which we all know is not good.
She loves to fish (she has her own bass boat, but I have to back the boat down the ramp), and she loves to hunt (deer, turkey, squirrel) on her 36 acres of hunting land. When she decides to participate in one of her hobbies, I usually have to participate too, so that cuts out my woodworking, or any other hobby that I have. I don't mind fishing some, but I just don't care for it as much as she does. I mean, what smells better, a fish or a freshly cut pice of wood? And don't get me started on hunting. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyy tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo booooooorrrrrriiiiiiinnnnngggg. But I do enjoy the hunting land. I have a tractor to bush hog and plow with, and I get to look at the trees, and try to imagine what kind of wood would come out of those trees. Unfortunately, the trees are mostly pine, and small hardwood trees, except for one poplar tree, that is around 4' in diameter, and only 20' to the lowest branch, if that high.
No, I think it would be better if she keeps her hobbies, and I keep mine.

Regards, Colin

[Eric Haycraft]

We might just have to start up a new section on single wood workers looking for partners with tools! :D


Wanted.. SWF 25-35. Must have 12+ inch jointer. :)

[Steve Leverich]

Eric, you forgot "please include picture of jointer..." Steve