Dear Abby...Funny.

[John Miliunas]

This one goes out primarily to my friends to the West, ie, Dave R., Tyler, et all. Man, that "Dear Abby" sure gets some tough questions, I'd say! :D

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Columbus who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Toledo and one of my sisters, who lives in Dublin, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Grove City. I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Lucasville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Atlanta and is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel. All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family, and I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Vikings fan?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation

[Donnie Raines]

As a Bengals fan(..at least last year anyhow..) I am glad it is a Viking's concern and not a Bengals concern...... :D

DonnieR

[Alan Turner]

John
Is there any treatment available for you?
Alan

[John Miliunas]

John
Is there any treatment available for you?
Alan

Alan,

So, what? You mad 'cuz the voices ain't talking to you? :confused: Seriously, my shrink tells me I'm getting better every day! I'm down to 5 evenings a week! I had been down to three, but then I noticed he pulled up in a new 'Cedes and all of a sudden, he "saw" more problems, so we had to up the visits again. I can't figure it out! Ahhhh...But that Prozak is GREAT stuff! :cool:

[Chris Padilla]

John,

There must be some pills or ointment for your ailment....

:D

[John Miliunas]

John,

There must be some pills or ointment for your ailment....

:D


Ugh, ugh...More tools. More tools! Yeah, that's it. More tools! :D

[Greg Heppeard]

John,

I'm originally from Ohio, Lima area....sounds like my ex inlaws.....ROFLPMP

[Tyler Howell]

We mix the Prozac in the chease and beer. The Packer-ites are happy and harmless. That's what's important.:rolleyes:

[Mark Singer]

John,
That does it ....you told me to quit while I was ahead....really!

[Glenn Clabo]

For those in New England..
Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Salem who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Boston and one of my sisters, who lives in Lynn, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in East Boston. I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Atlanta and is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel. All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family, and I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Yankees fan?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation