Dropping a Deuce

[Todd Jensen]

Ok, serious question about a sensitive subject for you pros out there. You're running tight on schedule and it would take 20 minutes to leave the customers house for the gas station that you really don't have. Cramps are setting in and you're surely not going to make it until quitting time. Question: Do you ask to use and subsequently destr... ahem, use the homeowner's facilities? I was installing a rail in a lived-in and very high end home today, and wondering if I should have skipped the cod sandwich for lunch... Anyways, I spent most of the 20 minutes it would have taken me to drive to the gas station fanning one of their Architectural Digests around in the vain hope of creating fresh air. Just wondering what others do or if their are any 'tricks of the trade(s)'.... Thanks for laughing with me(at me):D and for any input...

[Gary Keedwell]

I think I would ask to use owner's facilities and make sure I put the exhaust fan on and really clean-up around and in the throne if it needs it.
( hope I am not too explicit) :o
Gary

["Jason Belous"]

Somebody may be offended by this, so I apologize now. Please don't judge me. You can purchase a portable toilet that looks like a cooler. It has a bag unit with TP under the lid. I keep one in both of my enclosed trailers. When the urge hits and if the situation is not appropiate to use the bathroom I can simply head to the trailer and use the porta pot. Customers are none the wiser. You can pick these up from rv stores some times or specialty stores on line. These would work well for a gent that works out of his van as well. Just a thought. Cheers.

[Jim Becker]

Jason's idea isn't a bad one at all. My contractor requires a porta potty as part of the contract to insure all the crews have access to clean facilities outside of the project home. But on small jobs, personally, I'd probably ask the homeowner for permission to have access to the powder room...and clean up appropriately afterward.

[Todd Jensen]

It wasn't so much a cleanup problem - I nailed the courtesy flush - but there was no hiding the air damage. I really like Jason's solution, but with a lot of really restricted space jobsites in the Seattle area I don't bring my trailer with me unless I absolutely have to. I might have to rip the small back seat out of my crewcab.:eek: :D Thanks for the input guys, I guess I'm going to have to stash some Oust in my truck.

[Todd Franks]

Finally, a topic I know something about. I'd recommend carrying an aerosol can of Oust in your truck for future situations. LOML makes me use it in our own house. It really does mask odors and doesn't have an overpowering scent that lingers around forever indicating you're trying to mask something. It also doesn't create some weird hybrid odor of lilac and #2 like other aerosol sprays do.

[C Scott McDonald]

It wasn't so much a cleanup problem - I nailed the courtesy flush - but there was no hiding the air damage.
ROFL, man I needed that laugh.

[Todd Jensen]

I can tell you that whatever flavor of Eternity they had on the counter, despite a careful 1/4 mist and vigorous atomization with the latest issue of Architectural Digest, did not create the air elixir I had hoped for.:D
And I'm sorry for bringing this forum to a new low(ok, and a little proud:rolleyes:), but after working primarily new construction for so long it is truly a new dilemma.

[Todd Franks]

And I'm sorry for bringing this forum to a new low(ok, and a little proud:rolleyes:), but after working primarily new construction for so long it is truly a new dilemma.

It's not a new low (checkout the off topic forum). The kind of humor that makes a kid laugh can't be a new low.

[Todd Jensen]

LOL, thanks Todd.:D I've been giggling all night.

[Lewis DeJoseph]

OK I am really LOL really hard!!!! Why a duce were there two. I don't mean to be nasty. I opened this thread thinking you spent 2 hundred or thousand $ on a peice of equipment.

I'm new here and wondering if I can expect to be laughing this hard daily, weekly, monthly or what.

Take care and everyone have a great holiday!

Lewis

[Ken Shoemaker]

Suprisingly, or not, simply lighting a match will VERY QUICKLY elliminate the offending, odiferous, intrusion and restore your dignaty with your client. DAMHIKT!!!! Sounds like two may have been in order here...:rolleyes:

or maybe a blow tourch:o

[George Morris]

Would not a match bring in another hazard? Explosion? You guys are great for a laugh!! Thanks !! George

[Mike Marcade]

How about going neanderthal? Go in the bushes, find some leaves, you know the rest. :D

[Greg Heppeard]

How about going neanderthal? Go in the bushes, find some leaves, you know the rest. :D

Just don't use the 3 pointed leaf variety, or you'll have itchybun syndrome :eek:

[Don C Peterson]

How about going neanderthal? Go in the bushes, find some leaves, you know the rest. :D

As someone who is at least a part-time neander type, I wonder if I should take exception?...:eek:

[Pat Germain]

This thread is quite amusing.

A friend of mine once told me about a motley crew of contractors working at his parents' house. One of them apparently had a very large and dangerous buritto for lunch and dashed suddenly into the bathroom. I guess things got a little messy because he also took a shower! My friend's parents were a bit put off by the spontaneous shower, but also found it funny.

Shoot, I'd like to carry my own facilities wherever I go. It would sure save a lot of time looking for a public relief station. Maybe there's a market for a lightweight, tow-able travel potty. :D

[Gary Keedwell]

This thread is quite amusing.

A friend of mine once told me about a motley crew of contractors working at his parents' house. One of them apparently had a very large and dangerous buritto for lunch and dashed suddenly into the bathroom. I guess things got a little messy because he also took a shower! My friend's parents were a bit put off by the spontaneous shower, but also found it funny.

Shoot, I'd like to carry my own facilities wherever I go. It would sure save a lot of time looking for a public relief station. Maybe there's a market for a lightweight, tow-able travel potty. :D
There is....Depends :rolleyes::eek::D
Gary

[Bruce Page]

Way too much information! :rolleyes:

[Paul Girouard]

___, it happens :D Do you think theirs DOES NOT Stink?

We had this well to do client down on South Whidbey , he was a pompous ___. Away his brand new septic ( which we had nothing to do with installing) didn't work at all , the place was a weekend cabin so it wasn't over used.

Anyway he was sure we had busted something while working on the remodel. So I took off the septic tank lid , he was right there , the tank was full of STINKY ___ all his families we had a porta potty on site. It was a "air activated sand filter system " a little pump blew air in the move the poop around as part of the process .

I noticed a 90 deg. PVC fitting was not connected , I was holding the tank lid as ONE screw wouldn't come out so I had the lid tilted back so we could look in .

I said " Kensil , (what a name eh:D ) hook that fitting back up ! Which he did and when the air hit the poop it sort of sprayed up , he cut and ran like he was shot at :D , of course I LMAO , and of course this proved we / my company had NOTHING to do with HIS septic problem , clearing us of all the stuff he'd been saying to me / us for about a week.

Anyway when he came back up by the tank , I got to say, " Well one thing we do know for sure now Kensil, is your ___ DOES stink!"

He sort of even half smiled as he knew I had him on that one :D

As far as taking a dump in a clients house , ya it happens , ya do your best, courtesy flush , open a window , spray, IF THEY HAVE SOME, I'd not recommend bring your own , some people have bad reactions to sprays , so I'd seriously say DO NOT BRING YOUR OWN SPRAY!

They'd rather smell your ___than have a asthma attack brought on by some spray that only ends up smelling like rose covered stuff. :D

[Todd Jensen]

I watch 'South Park' sometimes, a TV show on the Comedy Central cable channel, and in one episode they referenced the 'deuce' as an acronym for a '#2'. In that episode, there was a worldwide 'contest' for the largest deuce, in which it turned out U2's lead singer Bono was in fact, the largest deuce.:D

[Ken Shoemaker]

HOLLY CRAP!!!! ;)
I gotta go build something!!! This thread went into the toilet!! Sorry, I got caught up in the unsanitary, opps, I mean the insanity... I think

As Larry "the cable guy" says, Now that's funny, I don't care who ya' are....:D

[Lee Hingle]

Todd,
Ken is right on the money with his advice. Carry a box of kitchen matches with you (the strike anywhere kind). They work better than the small match-book varieties (probably because they have more sulphur in the tip).

[Ken Shoemaker]

Try holding a kitchen match in your teeth when your cutting onions and you can do it all day and the fumes wont get you at all... I do it all the time.

[Gary Keedwell]

Try holding a kitchen match in your teeth when your cutting onions and you can do it all day and the fumes wont get you at all... I do it all the time.
Wow...do you ever burn your mouth? :eek:

Gary

[Paul Girouard]

Todd,
Ken is right on the money with his advice. Carry a box of kitchen matches with you (the strike anywhere kind). They work better than the small match-book varieties (probably because they have more sulphur in the tip).




Then it smells like, as one of my old cabinet shop buddies used to say ,

"You crapped and tried to hide the smell with fire!"

The smell of matches burning , or worst, cigarette smoke/ stink :mad: is worst than ___ IMO.

That would make me call your boss and complain. More so than using the toilet , dropping a deuce , taken a dump , or a USN favorite ," Sending a Chief to sea" :D, a "normal" bodily function. :rolleyes:

[Gary Keedwell]

Well, I like the smell of sulphur and even though it has been 24 years since I smoked a cigarette, they still smell good.:p
Gary

[Todd Jensen]

This thread has proven more humorous than I'd ever hoped, and also full of valuable feedback. I think I'm with those that suggested no matches or external sprays - my dad used to light a match and it smelled exactly as Paul described. I guess in the end I just have to get over it, its only human after all.:) Perhaps it'll give the customers a good story when they're showing their friends the new railing system.:D

[Paul Girouard]

This thread has proven more humorous than I'd ever hoped, and also full of valuable feedback. I think I'm with those that suggested no matches or external sprays - my dad used to light a match and it smelled exactly as Paul described. I guess in the end I just have to get over it, its only human after all.:) Perhaps it'll give the customers a good story when they're showing their friends the new railing system.:D



Exactly ! And what better way to spend a windy chilly , rainy Saturday then "Talking ____!" Gary spends enought time doing that , about the Pat's, everyday:D

[Michael Gibbons]

Figure out what you ate that made you make that smell in the first place then never eat that again.:eek::D or a COLONIC.

[Randal Stevenson]

Try holding a kitchen match in your teeth when your cutting onions and you can do it all day and the fumes wont get you at all... I do it all the time.

Is this a burnt match, or a match that hasn't been lit yet?

I know of several places that this could be tested. One around here does (listened to a health dept official complain of inspecting it), 10,000 pounds of onions at a time.

[Ken Shoemaker]

New kitchen match - Not lit... Ya' might need two or three for that many onions. I've never tried it for that many.. It works in my kitchen when I make soup.. Good luck.

Ken

[Dave Sabo]

Why don't you guys just learn to eat better, especially when you know you'll be at a clients home? You get the health benefits, clients get fresher air, and global warming is decreased.

[Gary Keedwell]

Why don't you guys just learn to eat better, especially when you know you'll be at a clients home? You get the health benefits, clients get fresher air, and global warming is decreased.
I have been known to be a little dense at times...but pray tell: What do you eat that you put in one end that doesn't come out the other end?

http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x286/jc623/cigar.gif http://www.woodworkslive.com/Smileys/default/evil.gif


Gary

[Al Willits]

Being in the HVAC/appliance repair business, we don't have enough room in the van to put a porta potty much less tow one around, so we are stuck either holding it or using the customers facilities.

Considering most jobs are under a hour we usually just hold it, the few times we can't we'll ask the customer.
If it peels the paint we'll just mutter something about being sorry and thank them.

For those customers that are to good to let us use their facilities, we usually have to order a part and leave....:)

Al

[Lee Hingle]

The smell of matches burning , or worst, cigarette smoke/ stink :mad: is worst than ____ IMO.

That would make me call your boss and complain.

Go right ahead. I'm my own boss and I would be glad to make sure the complaint went straight to the right dept (garbage):cool:

[Fred Voorhees]

Why don't you guys just learn to eat better, especially when you know you'll be at a clients home? You get the health benefits, clients get fresher air, and global warming is decreased.

Yup, that is why there are times when I just WILL NOT eat Progresso white clam sauce. It should be listed as DEADLY when I ingest it. I have almost put people in the hospital. And don't even ask why I puposely gave up on a brand called Aunt Millies clam sauce.

[Lewis DeJoseph]

I like Bono! :(
Hope you had a great holiday!:D

Lewis


I watch 'South Park' sometimes, a TV show on the Comedy Central cable channel, and in one episode they referenced the 'deuce' as an acronym for a '#2'. In that episode, there was a worldwide 'contest' for the largest deuce, in which it turned out U2's lead singer Bono was in fact, the largest deuce.:D

[Aaron Beaver]

www.justadrop.net never tried the stuff have just heard about it. If link doesn't work just search for "just a drop"

[Richard Niemiec]

Just an observation as to the extreme interest we all have in scatology . . . . . . there are almost 40 replies in this string......

RN

[Greg Cole]

Compressor on a new AC unit crapped out last summer. Replaced under warranty and the service guy asks to take a leak before he hits the road.... "Ah sure dude, first door in the left down that hallway".
Walking in there an hour or so after (closed door & no fan on mind you...), I can tell you if that guy took a leak in there, I'd HATE to be in the same country when he dropped a deuce.
The old expression rings true.... when ya gotta go, ya gotta go.:rolleyes:

Greg

[Gary Keedwell]

Just an observation as to the extreme interest we all have in scatology . . . . . . there are almost 40 replies in this string......

RN
Wow, I pride myself on being informed and an avid reader, but to be honest, I had to look for the meaning of scatology. That gives my affliction, CRS, a whole new meaning.:eek::D

Gary

[Todd Jensen]

:D Yup, no amount of vegetarianism or colonics:eek: is going to eliminate eliminations.