Dennis Peacock
02-03-2004, 9:19 AM
In Honor of Stupid People
In case you needed further proof that the human race is
doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label
instructions on consumer goods.
<b>On a Sears hairdryer:</b> Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
<B>On a bag of Fritos:</b> You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
<b>On a bar of Dial soap:</b> "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
<b>On some Swanson frozen dinners:</b> "Serving suggestion:
Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
<b>On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):</b> "Do not
turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
<b>On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding:</b> "Product will be hot after
heating."
(...and you thought????...)
<b>On packaging for a Rowenta iron:</b> "Do not iron clothes on
body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
<b>On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:</b> "Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)
<b>On Nytol Sleep Aid:</b> "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and..I'm taking this because???....)
<b>On most brands of Christmas lights:</b> "For indoor or outdoor
use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
<b>On a Japanese food processor:</b> "Not to be used for the other
use"
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)
<b>On Sainsbury's peanuts:</b> "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
<b>On an American Airlines packet of nuts:</b> "Instructions: Open
packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
<b>On a child's superman costume:</b> "Wearing of this garment does
not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this
one.)
<b>On a Swedish chainsaw:</b> "Do not attempt to stop chain with
your hands or genitals."
(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now....can YOU find any and post them?
In case you needed further proof that the human race is
doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label
instructions on consumer goods.
<b>On a Sears hairdryer:</b> Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
<B>On a bag of Fritos:</b> You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
<b>On a bar of Dial soap:</b> "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
<b>On some Swanson frozen dinners:</b> "Serving suggestion:
Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
<b>On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):</b> "Do not
turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
<b>On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding:</b> "Product will be hot after
heating."
(...and you thought????...)
<b>On packaging for a Rowenta iron:</b> "Do not iron clothes on
body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
<b>On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:</b> "Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)
<b>On Nytol Sleep Aid:</b> "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and..I'm taking this because???....)
<b>On most brands of Christmas lights:</b> "For indoor or outdoor
use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
<b>On a Japanese food processor:</b> "Not to be used for the other
use"
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)
<b>On Sainsbury's peanuts:</b> "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
<b>On an American Airlines packet of nuts:</b> "Instructions: Open
packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
<b>On a child's superman costume:</b> "Wearing of this garment does
not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this
one.)
<b>On a Swedish chainsaw:</b> "Do not attempt to stop chain with
your hands or genitals."
(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now....can YOU find any and post them?