In honor of stupid people..... [Archive] - Sawmill Creek Woodworking Community

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Dennis Peacock

02-03-2004, 9:19 AM

In Honor of Stupid People

In case you needed further proof that the human race is
doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label
instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary Details inside.

(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
Defrost."

(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not
turn upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
heating."

(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on
body."

(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(and..I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor
use only."

(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other
use"

(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open
packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does
not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this
one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with
your hands or genitals."

(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now....can YOU find any and post them?

Jason Roehl

02-03-2004, 1:19 PM

After removing the plastic wrap from a bag of microwave popcorn, under the two flaps it read, "1. Remove plastic wrap"

How would I know to do this without first removing the plastic wrap??

Ted Shrader

02-03-2004, 2:42 PM

Why is there Braille on ATMs?

1. Drive up ones - go figure????

2. Walk up ones - sort of makes sense to allow access to everybody. But - how do you read the screen in order to know which button to touch?

As one one who has a hereditary eye disease, but can still see, I take note of stuff like this.

Ted

Don Abele

02-03-2004, 2:47 PM

Ted, not sure about the drive-up ones...the thought is scarey. As for the walk-up ones, they have headphone jacks on them so you can hear them (though I don't know what they say)...hmmm...maybe I'll take a listen...

Be well,

Doc

John Miliunas

02-03-2004, 5:09 PM

...And I love the manuals with some of the larger tools, which may come crated to you. There, deep in the bowels of the packaging, lies the manual. Page 1: How to uncrate your (insert tool here). :cool:

Dennis Peacock

02-03-2004, 5:39 PM

Rob Littleton

02-03-2004, 5:51 PM

the sad thing is most of those stores are from my homeland....

Ah, thanks Dennis, thats why I got the heck outta there :-)

Charles McKinley

02-04-2004, 4:13 PM

McFeely cartoon with screws in it mouth while putting stuff togeather.

disclaimer at the bottom: Professional cariture never put screws in mouth.

Chris Padilla

02-04-2004, 5:49 PM

A 'classic' is the sunshield we like to put in our cars during the hot months:

Do not drive with sunscreen in the windshield.

Terry Hatfield

02-08-2004, 12:47 AM

Good job guys!!! These are too funny. I gotta pay more attention to the OT forum.

t

Richard McComas

02-08-2004, 4:35 AM

Good stuff Dennis, I once heard of a label on a wheelbarrow that said "not for highway use"

David LaRue

02-08-2004, 8:13 AM

A quote from the Delta instruction manual
“ USE EXTRA CARE when cleaning stairs”

Yup looks like a big vacuum to me too. :D
:eek:

http://home.comcast.net/~mywoodshop/assets/images/DC_phase_one_done_200.jpg