My most frequent quations in wood working are:

[Hans Kribbel]

-Why is the left over piece of wood from a previous project allways 1 inch too short to be used in the current project?

-Why does the last 5/32 drill bit allways break by drilling the second to last hole?

-Why do wood plans always recommend the size of screws I don't have?

-Why do my almost square joints not add up to a nice and square box?

-Why is the machine I want to use always the one which is either not plugged in, not readily accessable or not exsitent?

-Why does my wife call my into house always when I am almost done and not when I am really finished?

-Why is there always something else I want to buy for the shop?

-Why do I have to have a reagular job, when it could be so much fun to make saw dust all week long?


Any good answers apprechiated

Humor is -- if you laugh despite the joke! :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :D

[Eddie Severt]

From my vast experience I can give you the only answer to all of your questions---
THAT'S LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eddie

[Tyler Howell]

O'toole helps me with my projects too....... He was the guy that said Murphy was an optimost;)

Hans with all that family history in wood you should be a natural.

[John Miliunas]

Why is the left over piece of wood from a previous project allways 1 inch too short to be used in the current project?

Because your previous project was 1" too big.

-Why does the last 5/32 drill bit allways break by drilling the second to last hole?

Because the 1/8" drill bit was feeling "left out".

-Why do wood plans always recommend the size of screws I don't have?

Because your local hardware store helps to sponsor some of the printing costs and they already know your inventory.

-Why do my almost square joints not add up to a nice and square box?

It IS square. Your eyes are crooked.

-Why is the machine I want to use always the one which is either not plugged in, not readily accessable or not exsitent?

Because the electrician, local maid service and your tool vendor all want some $$ from you.

-Why does my wife call my into house always when I am almost done and not when I am really finished?

This is the "job" of *every* woodworker's significant other! Live with it.

-Why is there always something else I want to buy for the shop?

Get this straight: In WW, there are no "wants"! They are called "needs". You start getting "wants" and you'll be in trouble with the person in the previous inquiry!

-Why do I have to have a reagular job, when it could be so much fun to make saw dust all week long?

Sadly, it usually takes a "regular job" to pay for your WW want....errrrr...needs.


Any good answers apprechiated

There 'ya go. Now, it's Monday morning so quit wasting time and get back to your "regular job"! :cool:

[Hans Kribbel]

John.

Greats answers. I had a good laugh and this makes my regular job working day much more fun.

Thanks


Why is the left over piece of wood from a previous project allways 1 inch too short to be used in the current project?

Because your previous project was 1" too big.

-Why does the last 5/32 drill bit allways break by drilling the second to last hole?

Because the 1/8" drill bit was feeling "left out".

-Why do wood plans always recommend the size of screws I don't have?

Because your local hardware store helps to sponsor some of the printing costs and they already know your inventory.

-Why do my almost square joints not add up to a nice and square box?

It IS square. Your eyes are crooked.

-Why is the machine I want to use always the one which is either not plugged in, not readily accessable or not exsitent?

Because the electrician, local maid service and your tool vendor all want some $$ from you.

-Why does my wife call my into house always when I am almost done and not when I am really finished?

This is the "job" of *every* woodworker's significant other! Live with it.

-Why is there always something else I want to buy for the shop?

Get this straight: In WW, there are no "wants"! They are called "needs". You start getting "wants" and you'll be in trouble with the person in the previous inquiry!

-Why do I have to have a reagular job, when it could be so much fun to make saw dust all week long?

Sadly, it usually takes a "regular job" to pay for your WW want....errrrr...needs.


Any good answers apprechiated

There 'ya go. Now, it's Monday morning so quit wasting time and get back to your "regular job"! :cool:

[James Carpenter]

super replies John

[Chris Padilla]

Mine is realted to woodworking but if I could broaden it out a bit to encompass remodeling or even general home ownership:

Why do I have to modify every freaking thing I want to put into my house?

Why can't I buy something from the store that will just fit like it is supposed to...the first time?

Why do I have to make multiple trips to the hardware in order to get the modifications done so the thing will fit/operate like it is supposed to?

I swear to God that every little thing I've gotten to upgrade my house with (fireplace insert, whole house fan, etc.) has needed a bit of cutting here, a bit of cutting there to fit and work right.

:(

[John Miliunas]

Mine is realted to woodworking but if I could broaden it out a bit to encompass remodeling or even general home ownership:

:(

Taking off on your remodeling thing:

I was trying to measure off of an inside corner of a room over here and not a single one of my squares is "square"! I think I bought and returned a half dozen of them, but they all don't seem to be square! What's up with that?! :D :cool:

[Ron Meadows]

John,

Go plastic.....I tired long ago with trying to find a metal square that was "square". I've been using plastic framing and quick squares for a few years now......always dead on 90 degrees.


Ron

[James Carpenter]

Heres one LOML is always asking. How come everything i get for "free" ends up costing her money:)

[Chris Padilla]

Taking off on your remodeling thing:

I was trying to measure off of an inside corner of a room over here and not a single one of my squares is "square"! I think I bought and returned a half dozen of them, but they all don't seem to be square! What's up with that?! :D :cool:

I had the same problem. I finally went and found myself a "nice" Stanely framing square that I dropped some good coin on and it was dead on. So far so good until I probably drop the damn thing.

I think Ron is onto something with a nice plastic square but, John, I have a question:

"Whattyya doin' measurin' 'corners' in a house with a square? Ain't nuthin' square about no house--'specially dem 'corners'!":D

[Charles McKinley]

Hey John,

Ever think it may be the walls that are out of square ;)

[John Miliunas]

Hey John,

Ever think it may be the walls that are out of square ;)

...And Charles wins 1st Place in the "Tongue in Cheek" award! :D Second place goes to Chris. Fact is, I don't think there's a square inside or outside corner in this place! And sadly, same holds true for most "squares"! And yes, I do believe Ron is onto something regarding the plastic squares. I went to plastic setup squares and 45's for my equipment setups quite some time ago. They did indeed turn out to be more true than any of my metal ones, including a nice little "engineer's square". 'Course, that don't surprise me, 'cuz I ain't no engineer! :cool:

[Tyler Howell]

Why do I have to make multiple trips to the hardware in order to get the modifications done so the thing will fit/operate like it is supposed to?

Chris, I only make two trips. One to pick it up and one to take back all the extras I bought to assure a successful project. O'toole, Murphy and I have been working together a long time.