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View Full Version : Some observations from a newbie (enjoy)



Rich Engelhardt
02-27-2007, 7:33 AM
Fesstool is God's way of saying "You make too much money".
Whatever tool I need immediately,,is on the other side of the workshop.
If it starts with an "F" - I want it.
If it's yellow or gray - I need it.
Measure twice, cut once, then redo it all because of the of the forgotten saw kerf.
Silly wife - she thinks the garage is for cars.
My tools aren't more expensive, my sawdust pile is just worth more.
Sawdust is a fertility drug for routers.
It's official. I now have more invested in tools than I paid for my first house.
Pine smells good.
A forstner bit,, a big forstner bit,,in a drill press is therapeutic.
Using a big forstner bit on a piece of pine = wonderful smell & you feel good too.
I have 5 tools that I have no idea what they do or are used for, let alone how to use them. MY goal this year is to double that number.
I need a hammer drill. I have no idea why, all I know is I need one.
Whatever I buy, there's always a new an improved way to do it that cost $100 more than I just paid for the old new and improved way to do it.
Draw-r-ing is too a correct way to spell it and it should count double for Scrabble.
(I wonder if Norm can adopt me? Even though I'm 55,, people are always telling me to "grow up")
Cordless tools must be Roy Underhill's worst nightmare.
I'm more dangerous with a power hand planer than a 3 year old with a razor blade.
There's no limit to human greed,,,,or the number of shop cabinets that can be built.
Why buy it when I can build one that's lopsided and only costs 8 times more?
(more to come for sure)
:) ( I should add that this is from a guy that till a year ago had 3 sizes of drill bits - .22, .357 and .45)

Mike Langford
02-27-2007, 9:21 AM
:D :D Way funny and all to true!!:D :D

Another one......#21 The small 2"x2" pine box I just made for my wife only cost $21,496 dollars to build! ;)

Scott Brihn
02-27-2007, 9:30 AM
Nice list Rich.

I just started building a set of four Sack Back Windsor chairs. I am confident that by the time I am done "tooling up" I could have purchased the chairs from a well respected chair maker for less.

Doug M Jones
02-27-2007, 9:49 AM
If she ever gets onto the "I can save more than the cost of the tool by building it myself!" bit, I'm doomed. :D

glenn bradley
02-27-2007, 9:55 AM
Love it. It's all sooooo true.

Brian Dormer
02-27-2007, 11:50 AM
#23 - Each new project requires the purchase of a new tool.

Mark Pruitt
02-27-2007, 12:57 PM
#23 - Each new project requires the purchase of a new tool.
#24 - and a new set of accessories to fit that tool.:D

Mark Pruitt
02-27-2007, 12:59 PM
11. I have 5 tools that I have no idea what they do or are used for, let alone how to use them.
I bet none of them are Festools!

nic obie
02-27-2007, 2:06 PM
:) ( I should add that this is from a guy that till a year ago had 3 sizes of drill bits - .22, .357 and .45)


Hahahahahahhahahaa

Love it!

Ted Miller
02-27-2007, 2:21 PM
LOL, man ain't it the truth, all of it...

Ted Miller
02-27-2007, 2:23 PM
#23 - Each new project requires the purchase of a new tool.

If I see a new tool then I figure what project to build with it and this makes it worth the purchase right?, the LOML shops at clothes sales when she doesn't need them, so now I feel better...

Bryan Somers
03-01-2007, 12:39 PM
Most excellent list especially # 20 ROFL

Rich Engelhardt
03-04-2007, 5:27 AM
Hello,

#25 - I'm not real sure but I believe using a wood chisel to open a paint can is grounds for divorce in 26 states, a felony in 3, and a capitol offense in at leat 1 country (possibly Turkey).

#26 - Power terms - Linux/Unix you "spawn a daemon". Novell Netware you "load an NLM".

In Windows you launch a GUI (gooey) -even sounds disgusting eh?

(ok not WW related but still....:D)

#27 - IIRC, the Eskimo's have 100 or more different words to describe "snow". That ain't nuttin.
I have 1000 different meanings to describe the phrase " Oh s(#@$@!" . It can be anything from " I cut it too short" to "oops, the power hand planer cord got caught on the end of the workpiece,,,,veered off to one side,, and left a huge gouge" to " I just bought it two months ago and it's on sale today for 30% off".

#28 - Life's so unfair. I bet the guy that made the decision to market the battery powered B&D clamp still has a job.

Doug Shepard
03-04-2007, 7:56 AM
#29 - Ya mean T.R. stands for Tax Refund and not Tool Rebate ??
OK - What's the difference?

George Lohnes
03-04-2007, 11:36 AM
I see many of my own thoughts in your list (though yours is more elequent).

My wife refers to the shed I built last summer, which was my first major project in my life, as "the $5000 shed that took 3 months to build that we could have had built for $3000 in a weekend".

The sad part is that she's a bit low on both the $5000 and the 3 months!! :p Especially when you add in the cost of tools I had to buy.

Russ Cass
03-04-2007, 11:47 AM
Rich, GREAT list!

Keep adding any new ones :D

Rich Engelhardt
03-16-2007, 7:10 AM
#30 - Nobody admits they shop @ Harbor Freight,,,yet everybody seems ot know:
- What's on sale there.
- What aisle those items are in.
- How many are on the shelf.

(Thought of this yesterday as I was walking the aisle of the local HF :D - they - the people that work there - must have thought I was nuts 'cause I was chuckling out loud thinking about this. I was thinking "jezze I hope I don't see anyone I know" as I walked in)

#31 - As I looked at the shelves of "made in ____"(anywhere but the US) it struck me that the only thing made in the US anymore is,,,Japanese cars.