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Bob Swenson
12-31-2006, 11:09 AM
What say ye?

Not being from the Kewel generation I use some expressions that make my son Per cringe.

In three shakes of a lambs tail.
Like a bat out of hell
How’s that fit your pistol?
Ya (ethnic thing)
Don’t cry over spilled milk.
Did he have a hat?
Lots more but I can’t think of them now
WHAT SAY YE

Jeff Yates
12-31-2006, 11:25 AM
Lets see...a few that I use on a regular basis...

Eyup
Boy Howdy
Busier than a three pecker'd goat in a field of sheep
Groovy

My brain isn't workin gthat well, laid up with a bum knee and on Vicadin..

Ed Lang
12-31-2006, 11:35 AM
Heres your hat... whats your hurry.

Next time you are by the river.... drop in.

You are OK unless you are by yourself or with someone.

slower than molasses in January.

have you got a bee in your bonnett

Randal Stevenson
12-31-2006, 11:49 AM
I think this thread is fullo malarky and should be in file 13!:p

Nancy Laird
12-31-2006, 11:55 AM
Got no more sense than a left-handed screwdriver.

That's what you get for thinking when you haven't had any practice.

Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it.

John Daugherty
12-31-2006, 11:55 AM
you would break an anvil with a rubber hammer (to my 6 yr old son)

slower than a herd of turtles

Mitchell Andrus
12-31-2006, 12:28 PM
Hey, Bob! I see you're in Denville, NJ. I'm a member of the Denville String Band (Mummers). Have you seen us in the local parades lately?

http://www.denvillestringband.com/

Mitch (bass sax)

Bob Swenson
12-31-2006, 3:33 PM
Mitchell, Don't you guys march for Denville Legion Post 390 in Wild Wood?
Bob

Ron Journeau
12-31-2006, 4:57 PM
Busier than a one legged river dancer

Dumber than a bag of hammers

Colder than my MIL's glare

Mitchell Andrus
12-31-2006, 6:21 PM
Yes. It's a get-away weekend for us. We stay at the Florentine and get a few mummers from Philly to join us. This is our most popular event.

Dennis Peacock
12-31-2006, 6:44 PM
That boy's as sharp as a bowling ball.
He's about as mixed up as a feather in a whirlwind.
He's a brick shy of a full load.
Sit down fer a spell.
You're about as heavy as a full sack of taters.
I put it where I wouldn't loose it, now I can't find it.
Pull ya down a chair and have a sit up.
She's about as purdy as cornbread in a skillet.
That's about as handy as a pocket on a shirt (from Mark Cothren)

Joe Mioux
12-31-2006, 7:13 PM
You're lyin' like a dog with no legs.

John Shuk
12-31-2006, 8:27 PM
Some days chicken...some days feathers.

Charlie Hans
12-31-2006, 9:48 PM
"That boy can take two balls of cotton and make noise"
Now look over there, don't those hills give you something to rest your eyes against?


Chuck

Mark Singer
12-31-2006, 9:52 PM
thats sick!
oiy vey!
Vel al tel ya!

Ken Fitzgerald
01-01-2007, 3:04 AM
Some day's you get the bear.....Someday's the bear gets you!

Mitchell Andrus
01-01-2007, 10:13 AM
Sometimes, you just gotta pee in the sink.

Bob Swenson
01-01-2007, 10:36 AM
Mark, How about “For two cents plain”
And “Make me ahmalted”.

Do you remember the story about the NY guy who sent his son
To a famouse professor of elocution in London England
To polish his speech.
After six months he called the professor to find out how things
Were going and the professor said “Vel al tel ya”.
Bob

Curt Fuller
01-01-2007, 10:56 AM
When someone does me wrong....
That's just lower than a snake's a-- in a wagon rut.

Michael Gibbons
01-01-2007, 1:31 PM
Your child is playing with a full six pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

Your child has hit rock bottom and has started to dig.

That guy has less brains them my pet rock.

That girl is so big she needs her own zip code

Curt Fuller
01-01-2007, 6:31 PM
That girl is so big she needs her own zip code

I know that girl! She's the one that fills up the tub and then turns on the water!

Al Willits
01-01-2007, 7:15 PM
If that's your tree, climb it, but stay outta mine.
Hopelessly lost, but making good time
He's in center field and the play is at home.

Al

Frank Chaffee
01-01-2007, 7:33 PM
Fie upon it!

Holy crow!

And I'm surprised no one has mentioned this one: "...to Hell in a handbasket."

JayStPeter
01-01-2007, 7:35 PM
I go with expressions that are so uncool that I like them.

I use "groovy", "hip", and "right on" in my day to day conversation. Some might say I overuse them, but I don't know how that would be possible.

Per Swenson
01-01-2007, 9:01 PM
WHY?!, WHY?!, does there have to always be a sub project B?

Never Again!

%$$#@ &^^%$& *&^&&^%$$< *&^%^^%$, Get my Gun.

You better start practicing the phrase, "you want Fry's with that"? and

if that's too hard, try three words, "welcome to walmart".

The object here is to "Go Home!"

Defects? Nonsense, it's the beauty of wood.

Let me guess, you sons (brother,wife)a architect. (sorry Mark)


I actually complain like this all day long in a steady litany.

Per

Mark Singer
01-01-2007, 9:24 PM
Mark, How about “For two cents plain”
And “Make me ahmalted”.

Do you remember the story about the NY guy who sent his son
To a famouse professor of elocution in London England
To polish his speech.
After six months he called the professor to find out how things
Were going and the professor said “Vel al tel ya”.
Bob

No but have you heard the airlines, El Al (Isreal) and El Italia (Italy) have merged.....

The new airline will be called "Vel Al Telia"

Ken Fitzgerald
01-01-2007, 9:27 PM
No but have you heard the airlines, El Al (Isreal) and El Italia (Italy) have merged.....

The new airline will be called "Vel Al Telia"

This is Ken in Idaho......looking down.....shaking his head.....:eek: :rolleyes: :D

Mark Singer
01-01-2007, 10:01 PM
This is Ken in Idaho......looking down.....shaking his head.....:eek: :rolleyes: :D

Ken,
It is difficult for me to obey the terms of service and still be funny........oh otherwise I got some jokes for ya!:rolleyes:

Bart Leetch
01-01-2007, 10:15 PM
One I made up about 20 years ago is.

He has his cranial cavity up his anal orifice.:D

Jack Dickey
01-01-2007, 10:28 PM
Dang let's see ..

bout as funny as a submarine with a screen door
boy's a real bucket mouth aint he ??
admit nothing , deny everything
he aint never hoed a row of cotton
he's about a half bubble off plumb
lights on , nobodys home
elevator dont go to the top floor
you so uglee , when you was born , the doctor slappped yo momma

Frank Chaffee
01-01-2007, 11:05 PM
Now I have flown El Al to Ben Gurion and El Italia to Knossos (and even tho I had typed in “gnosis” as my destination, it turned out okay), and vel I can tel ya a thing or two too.
Oh well, back to the drawing board.

Bob Swenson
01-02-2007, 4:26 PM
Mark, How about the real estate salesman that was showing an apartment for rent In NY to a client.
Agent, “So how do you like it?”
Client, “So what’s not to like?”
Agent, “So take it!”
Client, “There’s a problem”
Agent, “How could there be a problem”
Client, “ Vel al tel ya, I can’t see one mezuzah on one door in this building”
Resourceful agent, “That’s because we have a Master Mezuzah On the roof “

nic obie
01-02-2007, 9:53 PM
I like Nancy's best,

"Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it."

[thumbs up]

Mike Ramsey
01-03-2007, 10:37 AM
Dummern a fooball bat.
You gotta be smarter than what your working on.

Larry Browning
01-03-2007, 2:27 PM
I use these 2 all the time!

"I'm tryin to think, but nothin happens!" (Curly from the Three Stooges)

and

"Well, I'm an idiot!"

Tyler Howell
01-03-2007, 4:28 PM
Ufda!
My anal smoke detector's going off!
The lights on, But nobody's home.:cool:
You confuse me with some one that cares.
She's so fine, I'd drink her bath water:o :D

Barry Stratton
01-03-2007, 4:56 PM
Here's a couple that I remember my dad saying when I was a kid......

"Hold her head up Newt, she smells alfalfa!"

"What turnip truck did you fall out of?"

Gregg Mason
01-03-2007, 6:10 PM
I'm busier

than a one armed paper hanger.
or
than a one legged man in a ass kick'n contest.


And my favorite(see my sig)

'If it don't fit, get a bigger hammer."

everett lowell
01-03-2007, 7:42 PM
" You don't know hog jowls from horse sh-t ! " (did i spell that right? ):rolleyes:

Robert Mickley
01-03-2007, 9:03 PM
I was born at night,,just not last night

like two monkees palyting with a football


From my trucking days
I got more miles backing up than you got going foreward
I got more time sitting at traffic lights than you do driving

Derek Rose
01-04-2007, 3:50 PM
For you fellow IT people out there:

"No, I do not work here and no, I will not fix your computer."

I get that one at Best Buy all the time when I wear my security badge from work.

john dennis
01-06-2007, 12:16 AM
Feelin' like the first-floor tenant in a two-story outhouse.