Seasonal pondering

[Ron Journeau]

We are here, at the Creek, because in one form or another, we like/love working with wood. When our work is displayed, either here or at a sale, or in our homes, we sometimes hear exclamations of joy that we are "artists" or "wizards" or "wonderfully gifted" and, well, you get the idea. We like to work with our hands, while being in touch with our hearts, or mind's eye, or whatever other power you use to "see" what that piece of wood can become. Now, the question I have for you wonderfully gifted people out there is this... why is it so dang hard to wrap Chrismas presents?

[Cliff Rohrabacher]

why is it so dang hard to wrap Chrismas presents?
Because:
I can't fold paper.
The tape sticks to everything.
No matter how many times I cut the paper it's still too small.
I'm lazy.
I prefer to have my good intentions unrealized.
I am jst plain mean.

[Ken Fitzgerald]

I think it's genetic......Part of being male......:o :eek: :rolleyes: :D

[Nancy Laird]

I think it's genetic......Part of being male......:o :eek: :rolleyes: :D

Ken, you beat me to it!!! I also believe it's genetic.

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Yes Nancy .......and it's a matriarchial society but we don't like to admit it in public or in front of other guys......:eek: :rolleyes: :D

[Ron Journeau]

Not so loud Ken, swmbo might hear you!

[Phyllis Meyer]

Hi Everyone!

Send me all your presents and I will wrap them:)! I hate to shop (yes you read that right, a woman that hates to shop), but I do like to make the gifts all pretty!

Merry Christmas!

Phyllis

[Andy Hoyt]

I solved this problem years ago by getting the Binford Wrapmaster 2000.

It's got a ten HP TEFC motor, pneumatically controlled sliding guillotine shears, hydraulic ram folders, and nanobot tapers.

The BW 3000 comes with an automatic ribbonning attachment and bow extruder.

[Jerry Olexa]

Agree w Ken ...I HATE wrapping packaGES. I use gift wrapping service whenever I can...

[Art Mulder]

My wife sews. We are also environmentalists.

This translates into the fact that down in the basement we have a "wrapstuff" box which contains about 15-20 fabric gift bags that my beloved has made - most of them 8+ yrs old by now. It also contains various paper gift bags that others have used for gifts to us.

We just always make sure that we get back our fabric bags when we go to our family present exchanges.

problem solved.

...art

ps: but really... wrapping isn't that hard.

[Lee DeRaud]

It's not that hard: just use about twice as much paper as you think it really needs, and apply tape like someone else is paying for it. (You might also want to have a knife handy Christmas morning.)

This guarantees that (1) the package stays wrapped until somebody really wants it unwrapped and (2) the contents are more interesting than the wrapping.

My method was originally a response to people who bought professionally-wrapped empty boxes to decorate the tree, and saved them to use from year to year. Don't ask.

[Jim Young]

why is it so dang hard to wrap Chrismas presents?Because noone has invented a tool to help make it easier.:)

And if there would be such a tool the wives wouldn't object to buying them, and where is the fun in that?

[Jim Becker]

I actually don't mind the wrapping as long as I can do it "without help". With "help" it takes longer and is more complicated. Now, a third hand really would come in handy sometimes, but one learns little tricks to get around that...

[Curt Harms]

I solved this problem years ago by getting the Binford Wrapmaster 2000.

It's got a ten HP TEFC motor, pneumatically controlled sliding guillotine shears, hydraulic ram folders, and nanobot tapers.

The BW 3000 comes with an automatic ribbonning attachment and bow extruder.

How about a link:D

Happy Holidays to all.

Curt

[Andy Hoyt]

Sorry Curt. This was years ago - back in the pre links stoneage.:eek:

Maybe papa griz has something similar?:D

[Dennis Peacock]

Great post there Andy on the WrapMaster 2000. I laughed hard enough to the LOML to wonder what was my problem. :eek: :rolleyes:

My problem with wrapping gift is the flippin' scissors!!!!! You can never find a pair when you need them, heaven forbid if you EVER...I mean.....E V E R.....use momma's scissors for cutting paper!!!!! So we have about 30 pairs of "paper cutting scissors" floating about the house, that one can never find in a crisis of needing to wrap a present.:mad:

Next year? I think I'll wrap all gifts in "wood". :D

[John Miliunas]

Wrapping presents??? And exactly what's wrong with those plastic WalMart bags all the stuff comes in? :confused: Pull tag off of item, pull receipt out of bag, tie it off with the two "handles" and done deal! :D :cool:

[Tyler Howell]

Decorative Baggs!!!:D :D

[Al Willits]

Only probalem I have is, paper or plastic?

Actually wrapping presents isn't quite so hard once you lower your standards, waaay low in my case...

Al

[Jim Becker]

And exactly what's wrong with those plastic WalMart bags all the stuff comes in?


I'd be very concerned if the gifts I bought came in plastic Wal-Mart bags...you would think that Tar-Zhay would be able to afford their own bags, although they may have exhausted the world's supply of red circles by now... :eek: :D

[Jerry Clark]

:D
GIFT WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN
==========================

This is the time of year when we think back to the very first
Christmas when the Three Wise Men: Gaspar, Balthazar and Herb
went to see the baby Jesus; and according to the Book of
Matthew, "presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and
myrrh."

These are simple words, but if we analyze them carefully, we
discover an important, yet often overlooked, theological fact.
There is no mention of wrapping paper.

If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so:
"And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And
the paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman.
And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto
him, she saideth, 'Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it
for next year!' And Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs. And the
baby Jesus was more interested in the paper than the
frankincense."

But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that the
very first Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped. This is because
the people giving those gifts had two important characteristics:
1. They were wise. 2. They were men.

Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the point
of putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it
off. This is not just my opinion; this is a scientific fact
based on a statistical survey of two guys I know.

One is Rob, who said the only time he ever wraps a gift is
"if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be there when the
person opens it."

The other is Gene, who told me he does wrap gifts, but as a
matter of principle never takes more than 15 seconds per gift.
"No one ever had to wonder which presents daddy wrapped at
Christmas," Gene said. "They were the ones that looked like
enormous spitballs."

I also wrap gifts, but because of some defect in my motor
skills, I can never completely wrap them. I can take a gift the
size of a deck of cards and put it the exact center of a piece
of wrapping paper the size of a regulation volleyball court, but
when I am done folding and taping, you can still see a sector of
the gift peeking out. (Sometimes I camouflage this sector with
a marking pen.)

If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the
lower half of the Pharaoh's body would be covered only by Scotch
tape.

On the other hand, if you give my wife a 12-inch square of
wrapping paper, she can wrap a C-130 cargo plane. My wife, like
many women, actually likes wrapping things. If she gives you a
gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries
separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of
mental illness. If it were possible, my wife would wrap each
individual volt.

My point is that gift-wrapping is one of those skills like
having babies that come more naturally to women than to men.
That is why today I am presenting:

GIFT-WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN:
* Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped.
If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you
recognizes it, you can claim that it's myrrh.

* The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on
how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it
with an apple sliced in half horizontally and dipped in a
mixture of food coloring and liquid starch.
They must be smoking crack.

* If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper!
Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive
bows on it. This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to
delight the lucky recipient on Christmas morning:

YOUR WIFE: Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree?
YOU: It's a gift! See? It has a bow!
YOUR WIFE (peering into the trash bag): It's a leaf blower.
YOU: Gas-powered! Five horsepower!
YOUR WIFE: I want a divorce.
YOU: I also got you some myrrh.

In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you
give or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very
special time of year, is that you save the receipt.

[John Miliunas]

:D
GIFT WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN
==========================


In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you
give or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very
special time of year, is that you save the receipt.

OMG Jerry, I'm definitely ROFLM.... :D :D Perrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect! :D :cool:

[Andy Hoyt]

I made a reply to Frank Snyder's workshop thread yesterday, and now that Jerry has properly enlightened us, I find that it is also applicable here. I thuslyeth quoteth myselfeth (with minor alterations in bold):


As long as you're discussing giftwrapping, allow me to toss in my solution.

I didn't install any on my prezzies - three reasons.
I knew that when it was all said and done none of it would be visible for all the stuff up against the wall.

I'm lazy.

I'm cheap.

[Nancy Laird]

Jerry, you had me laughing so hard at your GIFT WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN that my boss came out of his office to see what was so funny. Then I got in trouble for being on here when I'm supposed to be doing law stuff!

That was funny!!!! And so very true.

[Robert Mickley]

I hate to shop (yes you read that right, a woman that hates to shop)
Phyllis

If I wasn't all ready marriedI would be in love!! :D:D:D