View Full Version : Too funny to pass up

Ken Garlock
10-19-2006, 3:47 PM
My old boss sent this story to me, and I thought was a real scream. Store name has been changed....

Mr. and Mrs. Abel are retired, and Mrs. Abel insists her
husband go with her to Local Discount Store, but he gets bored with all the shopping
trips. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Abel loves to browse. Here's
a letter sent to the Mrs.

Dear Mrs. Abel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of
you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video
surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Abel are listed below.

Things Mr. Abel has done while his spouse was shopping in our store:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
the restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of
M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the
bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins
to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly
humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna
look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumes the fetal position and screams "NO ! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least ....

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Big Discount Store

Mark Pruitt
10-19-2006, 8:17 PM
Funny!!! (but I think #10 would land 'im in jail these days):eek:

John Shuk
10-19-2006, 9:45 PM
Hey who's been following me around the store.
Reminds me of when I was teenager.
Too young to buy our own beer my buddy and I went to an early "super store".
They sold everything.
Including beer and camping equipment.
We hid out in one of the tents displayed and finished off a few 6 packs pretty quick.
People would come by open the flap and look in. Then close it up and walk away like we belonged there. We climbed out and left our mess behind.
Sure glad I wasn't buying that tent.
I'm much better now!

Jack Dickey
10-19-2006, 9:54 PM
Yeah someone sent me that email a few weeks ago ..
I know of one who went to the service desk at Wal Mart ( many call it Wal Marts ya know ) , and in a real serious voice told them that one of the letters was out on the sign over the store , they asked which letter , and he says
" the S " ..
Things as a teenager , we wont go there ...