Time Flies...

[Jim Becker]

It was a year ago today, 2 July 2005, that we met Nastia and Alesya for the very first time...and fell in love. On that day we drove just a hair over three hours to the Cradle of Hope offices in Silver Spring MD to begin our month-long hosting experience with two young sisters from Siberia. We didn’t know what to expect in detail, but were very excited about becoming parents...even if it was only for a month should things “not work out”. For those of you who a regular readers of our BLOG (http://a-j-adopt.blogspot.com), you know that we just passed our seven month mark since the adoption of the same two girls. My how time flies!!

The year has been filled with a lot of activity, emotion, testing, learning and growing...for all of us. While they are sisters, each girl is very different in her needs and fears. Alison and I are also very different people, but have been gradually slipping into a new model that accommodates family life yet is beginning to allow us to have a little bit of time to pursue individual endeavors again, even if only for a few minutes at a time. And, as you may know, we’re working on moving forward on a major home addition (http://toscax.us/blog/addition.htm) that will greatly benefit all of us over time.

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5788/816/320/h-1.jpg


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While we celebrate this first anniversary of meeting, we also hold great sadness upon learning that 20 children from the same region of Russia our girls came from will be missing out on the summer hosting program that starts next weekend. An official in that region decided to disallow their travel because of concerns by a top regional prosecutor (similar to a state attorney general) that the hosting program was “purely to facilitate adoption” and therefore, illegal. Our hearts go out to the 20 or so families that were expecting to meet these children in only a week...after making many preparations for housing, clothing, activities and so forth.

One of the children affected by this is a friend of our girls and of Zhenia, the boy who was adopted by another family the same day we went to court for Nastia and Alesya. This sweet, little boy was unable to come to America last summer because there was no family available to host him. This year, through the active advocation of Zhenia’s parents, Heather and Rick, a family was found to host this boy. (We happen to know them as they live near here and were in our original failed hosting program from early 2005) We hope that the family will continue to pursue this boy through the normal adoption procedures and bring him home to be near his friends who are already in America.

[Mark Rios]

Jim, I just went back and read a few more pages of your blog and I couldn't help feeling that you and your bride (and other adoptive parents like you) are, sincerely, a notch (or two) above most humans on this planet. You two have taken on, and seem to be succeeding in, an immensly difficult and immensly responsible endeavor.

Congrats to all of you on your milestone/anniversary!


Uuummmmm....btw.....could you post some information on how you and your bride found the gateway to the time portal that you absolutely must use to do ALL the different things that you do? Thanks, I could really use it. ;)

[Jim O'Dell]

Congrats on the milestone, Jim, and we share your dissappointment in the changes that have occurred. We have friends here in Fort Worth that adopted a boy from Romania, oh, must be 10 years ago now. Sometimes things go smoothly, other times there are some problems. Our friends love their boy, no matter what, but there have been some struggles. I'm glad to see that your girls are doing well, and seem to be adjusting to their new life. Mark is right, it takes special people to step out on faith, and pour their hearts and souls into these who were less fortunate. God speed! Jim.

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Congrats on you and your family's anniversary! Yup....children definitely have an effect on one's lives! While there will be challenges, they definitely have a positive effect! And years later, you'll look back and despite the trials, you'll agree that it was worth it and you'd do it again in a flash! Congrats to the entire Becker family!

[Wes Bischel]

Happy Anniversary!! I am surprised it's only a year - it seems like the girls have been home longer than even that.

Wes

[Mark Pruitt]

Jim, Congratulations to you and Alison on reaching this milestone. I too am sad for the kids in Russia who are being denied the same opportunity that Nastia and Alesya had. I can only hope that that government official will have a change of heart.

[Jim Becker]

Mark, the official is new to her job...only 5 months on...and apparently she really didn't want to jeopardize her job via the ire of the chief prosecutor. This region has, in the past, been very friendly to these kind of programs and they really are very effective in finding older children permanent families...something that is highly unlikely, otherwise. The statistics are very sad for older children in the orphanages and Internats (boarding schools)...when the "age out" of the system between age 16 and age 18, a huge percentage of them end up on the street and 10% of them are dead within two-three years from overdoses, murder or suicide.

So a plug...for anyone reading this and contemplating increasing the size (or starting) your family via adoption, consider adopting non-infants. There are some additional challenges, but you may very well be saving a life.

[Ken Garlock]

Ah yes Jim, memories to treasure for a life time.:)

Yes, time does fly. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana:D

[Bryan Somers]

Congrats on this anniversay Jim. I have been reading your blogs and it seams like this happened just last week. Nastia and Alesya definatly have found 2 very special people to care for them. Plenty of more challanges ahead but the rewards will be worth it.

[Karl Laustrup]

My oh my, how time flies. While the brain cells don't remember everything, I do remember you speaking of the visit the girls paid to you and Dr. SWMBO on these pages.

Congratulations. You are a family.

Karl

[Don Baer]

Jim,
I am struck by the pictures of the two girls when you first met them vs now. You and Dr. SWMO have done a great thing for these girls and the newer pictures are testimony of that. enjoy the kids as they grow up the time is all to short. Some time in the not to distant future you will have a little one calling you Pappa and it is a great feeling AMHIKT....:D :D :D

[Terry Hatfield]

j,

I am so thrilled that this worked out so well for all of you. What an amazing story. You and Dr. SWMBO are truly special people. We wish all of you the very best.

t

[Larry Klaaren]

International adoptions are difficult for the home country in some ways. We befriended some Chinese when we were there to adopt our daughter, and they definitely had mixed feelings. The girls would have a better life than would be possible in the orphanage, but it was considered a net loss to China. It was also embarrassing to them and seemed like an admission that they weren't capable of caring for the children as well as other nations could. There were people there from the US, Netherlands, Canada, England and Germany adopting when we were.

The Chinese are definitely trying to get to a place where they won't have to adopt the children out of the country. With forty percent unemployment, and the standard wage at 2.50/day, it will be a major undertaking to get to that point.

Larry

[Dennis Peacock]

Jim,

Congrats to you, Dr. SWMBO, and the girls on your anniversary. I'm so happy for all of you. Both of you have turned into some very wonderful parents for those girls and those girls are very blessed to have parents like you and Dr. SWMBO. May the shower of blessings continue to pour out upon the entire Becker Family!!!!!!

[Curt Fuller]

Congratulations Jim and Alisonn and to Nastia and Alesya! It's hard to say who is the most fortunate but it's a great story for everyone.

[Jim Becker]

Here's some recent pictures for comparison...we recently made changes to our daily "job expectations" for the girls, moving from a "same thing every day" schedule to a "different thing every day" format. One of the things we added was that each girl would help with dinner (and subsequent cleanup...) one night per week. Our expectations are a little different for each of them due to their ages, heights and abilities, but so far, so go.

I generally prepare dinner during the week when I'm not traveling as my office is in the house and that means my commute time is, umm...short. (choice of front stairs or back stairs in the morning... http://soulofadoption.com/forum/Smileys/newset/smiley.gif ) For Nastia's first night in the kitchen, pizza got the nod...she's already helped with that in the past and it seemed like a good way to start the regular new job. We make our dough in the bread machine (better than most pizzerias), so Nastia was enlisted to sauté the garlic and mushrooms as well as apply the cheese to the pie (outside of the area that was for Alesya...the "no-cheese" sector). Tosca is looking on in the last picture with "cheese envy"...

[Mark Rios]

Hey Jim, I like that spoon rest. Or is it Nastia's? :D I've been looking for a good one but, being a guy, I must not know where to look. Is it pewter?

Nice kitchen too.

[Jim Becker]

Hey Jim, I like that spoon rest. Or is it Nastia's? I've been looking for a good one but, being a guy, I must not know where to look. Is it pewter?

Nice kitchen too.

It's either pewter or something pewrter-like, probably the latter. I really don't remember where it came from or when.

Kitchen was my 2003 home improvement project (http://sawsndust.com/p_kitchen.htm). (Be sure to view the demolition/construction pictorial) Mucho work, but it was nice getting a $60K kitchen (what it would have cost for a contractor) for $20K in cash plus a lot of sweat...

[Jerry Olexa]

We make our dough in the bread machine (better than most pizzerias), so Nastia was enlisted to sauté the garlic and mushrooms
.
We do the same. That dough is so good, we'll cook a portion to use as appetizer, or bread w liberal use of butter. What's better than making your own pizza??

Jim, Congratulations!! You guys are a family and it shows. Takes good hearts and much effort but its well worth it!! Enjoy your time together and I trust your home addition project will go well also!

[Chris Padilla]

Excellent news, Jim, and a +3, 4, or 5 in Congrats to you and the missus. We still have one and I beleive it will stay that way unless an "accident" were to happen.... ;)

[Jim Becker]

We still have one and I beleive it will stay that way unless an "accident" were to happen....

Two is more than enough for me...and I'm happy to say that I have no worries about "accidents", both medically and because there is less than zero privacy around here anymore..."accidents" require "opportunities"...:rolleyes: