Internet Proofing my Child

[Jim Young]

Yesterday was a monumental day. My 10 year old daughter figured out that you could do a Google search on bad words and find a whole new world of sites. Well, as you can guess Mom and I were not happy. So now I need to find some type of software that keeps my kid from getting access to porn sites. I don't even know what this type of software is called but I know it exists. Any ideas on good software? TIA

[Doyle Alley]

Try this:

http://www.netnanny.com/

[Wes Bischel]

Also, you can restrict Google searches:

http://www.google.com/preferences?hl=en

Good luck,
Wes

[Larry Browning]

Try a google search for "content filter". One thing I know, is that you should do lots of your own research on the subject. Look for reviews on the internet, talk to her friends parents about what they are doing, ask the school librarian, ask your co-workers, even talk to the police department. There are so many vendors out there that take completely different approaches to this problem that it will make your head spin! This is a serious problem that you, as a parent, need to be very knowledgeable about. Take the time to educate yourself. Filtering out porn sites is just one of several things you should do to protect you kids online. Chat rooms can be VERY dangerous. Lots of sickos are out there.

[Joe Pelonio]

Apparently there are not any (or many) totally safe solutions. At the Elementary school where my wife works a 10 year old special ed student was caught looking at nudes and they still haven't figured out how he bypassed their security. They gave him a month with no internet access for punishment, but only 1-1/2 weeks of school are left.

[Cliff Rohrabacher]

Netnanny is among the most common. You can alsoe get a Key Stroke Logger that will sit resident and hidden recording everything done on the PC.

As a father of daughters I can offer that a key stroke logger may not give you what you want because it'll give you way too much information. If good parents are exposed to every idle thought that kids have and every conversation kids have with each other we'd all commit suicide in desperation.

[Dan Oelke]

As a software geek who almost wrote a NetNanny program before NetNanny was around - (egads was I dumb for thinking that was a dumb product idea!) - my advice is to Internet proof your child through education. Yes, I have a 10 and 12yo and I don't use any such software packages. I do occasionally check the browser history and the computers are almost always used in the open in our house. Google options help filter out some of the most obnoxious stuff. That and some talking to is all I have used.

Yes, my kids have stumbled (accidently - possibly or possibly not) onto some porn sites. But I don't think they are scared for life because of it either. We have critters around the house and regularly help out on relative's farms. The birds-n-bees thing is just the way it is - if the bull rides the heifer, you explain what is happening. For our family this works well. However - I also realize that some people feel more comfortable trying to keep the kids in the dark.

[Joe Pelonio]

Checking the history and cookies does create it's own problems. Suppose your 14 year old daughter has done a report for health class on teen pregnancy, without your knowledge. A few days or weeks later you see a bunch of history of visits to pregnancy test websites and teen pregnancy advice websites. What do you do?:eek:

[Lee DeRaud]

Education and duct-tape.

No, I'm not kidding. NetNanny and other programs of its ilk don't "Internet-proof the child", they (attempt to) "child-proof the Internet", which is one of the most pathetically futile endeavors I can imagine.

And before you ask, the duct-tape is to wrap up the keyboard with if you're unwilling/unable to cope with educating the child.

Thus endeth the sermon.

[tod evans]

two teens at home........i vote for duct-taping the kids!

[Joe Pelonio]

Lee,

Your duct tape idea reminds me of my older brother many years ago, before anyone had to worry about the internet. He was 18 and came home drunk one night, had parked his '54 chevy down the block so my
father wouldn't hear it come in but was singing as he walked up the street.

Anyway, my father went down and yanked the rotor off of the distributor put it in his pocket and put the cap back on. Next day when he sobered up my brother tried the car, when it wouldn't start he popped the distributor cap off, saw that the rotor was missing, got a spare out of
the trunk and away he went.

I guess there's only so much you can do, some kids will find a way to get into trouble. Luckily he was the only "problem" of 9, so they did OK on the rest of us. Oh, and at 54 he's still that way.

[Tom Saurer]

I have a young one and so I'm in this boat. The program that I'm going to use is Covenant Eyes, http://www.covenanteyes.com. It's an accountability program. It starts automatically with the computer and logs every website that someone visits. That website is then graded by the software and then a report is emailed once a week. That report will call out any offenders and then list all of the sites visited.

It's relatively cheap, less then $10 a month, it doesn't block any sites, and it works. I've used it for several years and it's never crashed my computer.

[Jim Becker]

I tend to agree with Dan (and Lee) in spirit...educating the child is the first priority. Having the computer in a "public" area where you can monitor things is the second priority. And then, if you feel it important and/or necessary, using software like NetNanny isn't a horrible idea and it's configurable so you can adjust things over time as well as provide children of different ages with different limits.

This is actually a very timely subject for me as I have been allowing our girls very limited access to my computer (while I'm in the room) to do some math games at a site subscribed to by their school as well as type in a word processing program. Alison also just bought a "game" that is designed to help folks learn to control their emotions and body responses via bio-feedback...our older continues to have sleep and anxiety issues and we are hoping this will help out. Related to that is the fact we've installed it on a spare notebook computer that we now intend to make available to the girls. Given their limited language skills and previous "lack of direction" prior to adoption, I really do need to go the NetNanny route for that computer, so that they can access specific web sites for educational purposes without getting into accidental (or intentional) trouble.

And Lee, you're correct, the software can't "child proof the Internet", but it can help you enforce some level of guidance so that you can still have a life while your child(ren) enjoy the benefits of online resources.

[Ray Bersch]

A few days or weeks later you see a bunch of history of visits to pregnancy test websites and teen pregnancy advice websites. What do you do?

Shoot the boyfriend, just in case. Even if you are wrong, the word will get around (we fathers of daughters are a little touchy, huh??);)

[Andy Fox]

I don't work specifically with privacy or security, but I'm a software developer who focuses on Web-based applications.

My advice is to know your "enemy" as thoroughly as possible. How could kids sneak access to inappropriate sites? How could an adult try to lure them into something they don't understand? The more creative you are at generating possibilities, the better you will be at monitoring what's going on. Content filtering software is just the 4' fence at the border. Also use a good firewall program to help prevent invasions of privacy and general hacker/virus headaches, especially if your Internet connection is open 24/7.

Make sure you're aware of more creative possibilities like clearing the history/cookies and then browsing innocent sites to cover, or using a different browser or computer/Internet login that you're not aware of. And then there's non-browser "messenger" programs used for text/voice/video chat. These often save a few clues to the Windows registry, like login names. Logs and caches are often saved to the program's "Program Files" folder. Doesn't hurt to dig through the old Recycle Bin once in a while to see what's being deleted, but that's easy to bypass with Shift+Delete.

[Dan Oelke]

Shoot the boyfriend, just in case. Even if you are wrong, the word will get around (we fathers of daughters are a little touchy, huh??);)

Hey - you sound like my wife! :eek:

The LOML is the one that tells our 12yo daughter that before she can ever go out on a date that the boy will have to come in and watch a short "educational video." The video will (of course!?!) be of her castrating a bull calf. :eek::eek::eek:

I even received a christmas present last year of an elastrator so that we can shoot said video soon.

[Ray Bersch]

Hey - you sound like my wife!
The LOML is the one that tells our 12yo daughter that before she can ever go out on a date that the boy will have to come in and watch a short "educational video." The video will (of course!?!) be of her castrating a bull calf.
I even received a christmas present last year of an elastrator so that we can shoot said video soon.

Dan, right up my alley!!.... but on the serious side, I have been reading this thread with interest because I need to watch two grandchildren - they know how to use the internet better than I do.
Ray

[Michael Cody]

Go the education and duct tape route -- I have a 13yo & 18yo .. always wondered how a parent could kick his kid out of the house at 18, now I know, the oldest boy is lucky he's not homeless now that he graduated tonight and passed his eagle board of review (stealth gloat).. but I digress..

I am computer tech so I have a bit of practice.. when parents ask me here is what I tell them (also much like some other suggestions here)...

1. put the computer out in a shared area .. no one gets a PC in his/her room.

2. set up each kid with their own sign-on & id (I use 2000 or XP as the other forms of windows don't have any security). Only one ID should have rights to install anything and guard that ID with your life. Kids get their own screens & favorites but can't change anything or add programs.

3. Put on a good anti-virus, anti-spyware, filter package/s .. I use LavaSoft and Spybot along with a ZoneAlarm Pro w/Anti-Virus and Web Filtering.

4. I have Zone Alarm setup with a rule that kills Internet access after 11:30pm so they can't get up when I am in bed and use it. If I need it I have the password and can by-pass the rule.

5. I log all chat sessions and scan cookies & history on a regular basis to see what they've been up to.. If they don't like it they don't have to use it. But make sure you don't do it w/o letting them know up front. If hide it, it's like you are doing something wrong not them...

6. Educate kids that they are in your house, they will not get to go to sites you don't allow and if their friends can do it.. then do it at their friend's house cause it ain't happening here.

7. Then swallow your pride when your oldest still gets around all this security cause he's on the road to being as good as you are someday (but today is not that day), it keeps me on my toes though. I think he stands at the back of the room and tries to catch my passwords, so I change it weekly.

8. LASTLY ... understand that some of the stuff is inevitable and remember when you were a teenager and hid those magazines from your mom.

For younger kids, none of those game websites like runescape, warcraft, kids disney, mo-funzone, etc... they install all kinds of spyware like stuff on your PC and there are a lot of other nasties out there...

If you can't do this stuff yourself, find you some hotshot 18 yo geek and have him set it up for you - buy him something or pay him 75$ or so.. save the hair you have left and keep the communication with the kids open so they can talk to you about what they do find, it's a teaching moment.

[Frank Fusco]

Hey - you sound like my wife! :eek:

The LOML is the one that tells our 12yo daughter that before she can ever go out on a date that the boy will have to come in and watch a short "educational video." The video will (of course!?!) be of her castrating a bull calf. :eek::eek::eek:

I even received a christmas present last year of an elastrator so that we can shoot said video soon.

At one time a message was making the e-mail rounds about rules concerning the kind of boy a girl could bring home to meet the parents and/or go on a date with. It was funny but made a point. There were rules like no safety pins through the nose, no purple hair, etc.
I printed it out and gave to my daughter who was just starting to date and take an interest in boys.
Can't say it made the difference but she often commented on it. And, I have to say, the boys she dated were always gentlemen and we were pleased to meet them.
When she married about a year and a half ago, she picked one fine young man. Short hair, polite, always used "Yes, sir/mam or No, sir/man. Recently returned from Iraq he received three commendations while there and was promoted to Senior Airman seven months BEFORE his eligibility date.
Is bragging allowed? :)

[Michael Gibbons]

Jim, Your best solution is to remove the computer from the house and have your daughter go to the library and look up stuff like we used to. The pencil make's a great word processor and the eraser is the instant delete.

[Jim Becker]

Jim, Your best solution is to remove the computer from the house and have your daughter go to the library and look up stuff like we used to. The pencil make's a great word processor and the eraser is the instant delete.

They use computers in the libraries now for looking up stuff...and they are all Internet connected in most cases.

[Lee DeRaud]

Jim, Your best solution is to remove the computer from the house and have your daughter go to the library and look up stuff like we used to. The pencil make's a great word processor and the eraser is the instant delete.If you really believe that pretending computers don't exist is a viable educational strategy for your children, go for it.
But if you have any educational ambitions for your children beyond grade school, that strategy is, IMHO, a recipe for disaster.

[Frank Hagan]

Go the education and duct tape route -- I have a 13yo & 18yo .. always wondered how a parent could kick his kid out of the house at 18, now I know, the oldest boy is lucky he's not homeless now that he graduated tonight and passed his eagle board of review (stealth gloat).. but I digress..

I am computer tech so I have a bit of practice.. when parents ask me here is what I tell them (also much like some other suggestions here)...

1. put the computer out in a shared area .. no one gets a PC in his/her room.

2. set up each kid with their own sign-on & id (I use 2000 or XP as the other forms of windows don't have any security). Only one ID should have rights to install anything and guard that ID with your life. Kids get their own screens & favorites but can't change anything or add programs.

3. Put on a good anti-virus, anti-spyware, filter package/s .. I use LavaSoft and Spybot along with a ZoneAlarm Pro w/Anti-Virus and Web Filtering.

4. I have Zone Alarm setup with a rule that kills Internet access after 11:30pm so they can't get up when I am in bed and use it. If I need it I have the password and can by-pass the rule.

5. I log all chat sessions and scan cookies & history on a regular basis to see what they've been up to.. If they don't like it they don't have to use it. But make sure you don't do it w/o letting them know up front. If hide it, it's like you are doing something wrong not them...

6. Educate kids that they are in your house, they will not get to go to sites you don't allow and if their friends can do it.. then do it at their friend's house cause it ain't happening here.

7. Then swallow your pride when your oldest still gets around all this security cause he's on the road to being as good as you are someday (but today is not that day), it keeps me on my toes though. I think he stands at the back of the room and tries to catch my passwords, so I change it weekly.

8. LASTLY ... understand that some of the stuff is inevitable and remember when you were a teenager and hid those magazines from your mom.

For younger kids, none of those game websites like runescape, warcraft, kids disney, mo-funzone, etc... they install all kinds of spyware like stuff on your PC and there are a lot of other nasties out there...

If you can't do this stuff yourself, find you some hotshot 18 yo geek and have him set it up for you - buy him something or pay him 75$ or so.. save the hair you have left and keep the communication with the kids open so they can talk to you about what they do find, it's a teaching moment.

I think this is the best advice I've seen yet on the issue. With my girls, I made sure the computer was in a public place ... absolutely no computer in a bedroom. But because I had one daughter who was ultra-curious, and even downloaded some images that would have put ME in jail, I reformatted the hard drive and installed a key logger program that recorded every keystroke. Then I showed it to both of them.

They were horrified. I was the worst dad on the planet. I was invading their privacy. That's when I knew I was on the right track.

I glanced at the key logger periodically, but the deterrent effect was enough to keep them from most of the bad sites. You do have to be reasonable, and realize that kids' interest in sex is normal and healthy. Gathering "information" was never a concern for us, it was gathering "creeps" that we were worried about.

Your recommendations are even better, as they cover the entire gambit of "stuff" that happens.