Dennis Peacock
05-06-2006, 6:19 PM
The Southerners challenge any so-called "smart" Yankee to take this simple engineering exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will
support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks
in your front yard?
(A)'65 Ford Fairlane
(B)'69 Chevrolet Chevelle
(C)'64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many '61 Ford Pinto radiators are required to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many coon dogs will be killed?
6. An Arkansaw man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a trailer house on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a pickup with (a) a muffler (b) insurance (c) two workin' headlights?
8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it
take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?
9. An Arkansaw man owns 3 acres of land he has inherited from his daddy. He has 3 grown kids he has let put their trailer houses out front of his double-wide. Each has a septic tank and a well. How often should each septic tank get pumped out before the kids need to boil their drinkin' water?
I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya?
It's okay if ya didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya .....
There's a whole heap of things that big citybook-learning don't prepare ya for in this life.
As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK ENGINEERING CHALLENGE", here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece:
Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.
:eek: :rolleyes: :D
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will
support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks
in your front yard?
(A)'65 Ford Fairlane
(B)'69 Chevrolet Chevelle
(C)'64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many '61 Ford Pinto radiators are required to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many coon dogs will be killed?
6. An Arkansaw man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a trailer house on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a pickup with (a) a muffler (b) insurance (c) two workin' headlights?
8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it
take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?
9. An Arkansaw man owns 3 acres of land he has inherited from his daddy. He has 3 grown kids he has let put their trailer houses out front of his double-wide. Each has a septic tank and a well. How often should each septic tank get pumped out before the kids need to boil their drinkin' water?
I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya?
It's okay if ya didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya .....
There's a whole heap of things that big citybook-learning don't prepare ya for in this life.
As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK ENGINEERING CHALLENGE", here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece:
Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.
:eek: :rolleyes: :D