Flying Like a King

[Jim Koepke]

In 1990, United Airlines offered a lifetime pass. One man and his wife have flown millions of miles. It seems the airline treats him quite well and he even can trade or sell his frequent flyer miles.

A few of his travel tips:


1) Lie to the first flight attendant you meet inside the door when you board. “She’s the head attendant. I always say, ‘I remember you! You gave us such great service last time. I wanted to thank you again.’ Even if I’ve never met her. I guarantee she’ll bring you all kinds of free stuff.”
2) If you couldn’t book the seat you wanted, keep your phone open on the seat map app as you board. If a blocked seat that you wanted opens up, just take it. “They won’t care,” he says. “They never sold it.”
3) Never check a bag. Never, ever, never. And under-pack. “Every town has laundromats. And stores.”
4) Don’t be a jerk and use your cell without headphones. That way, people won’t hate you. “Whenever somebody takes a long business call on speaker, I always say, ‘Hey, next time you’re going to have all of us to your business meeting, bring doughnuts.’”

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/06/23/united-airlines-very-frequent-flyer/

jtk

[Frederick Skelly]

“Whenever somebody takes a long business call on speaker, I always say, ‘Hey, next time you’re going to have all of us to your business meeting, bring doughnuts.’”

Love that and I will use it!

[Brian Elfert]

It is interesting that United treats this passenger so well when he is obviously costing them a lot of money. American Airlines sold similar passes years ago and has tried to terminate customers it feels are abusing their flight pass. One of American's customers who has/had the pass is/was constantly booking flights and then cancelling at the last minute. American claimed he was costing them a lot of money because they couldn't sell the seats that he cancelled at the last minute.

[Jim Becker]

People gonna be people, Brian...and some folks just like to spoil it for other folks.

[Steve Demuth]

I flew over 2 milion miles on business between roughly my 45th and 65th birthdays. Most of the domestic flights were first class, but the bulk of the miles were international, and almost always in coach. Fourteen hours in coach from Tokyo to Minneapolis is hell, for a 6' 2" 200 lb guy like me. I can't imagine flying just for the sake of flying, or the miles. 2 million hours is 4000 hours in the air - equivalent to 2 years' working hours. It basically takes an act of God to get me to fly at all, now that I'm done with the business travel. All the charm was long gone by the time I'd reached 1/10 of that 2 million mile total.

23 million miles is 5 1/4 years, 24 hours per day, at 500 miles per hour. Add in take offs and landings, and this guy has spent 6 solid years in airplanes.

[Jim Koepke]

Steve, like you my desire to fly doesn't exist.

On the other hand there are rumors floating around that some people love to fly.

jtk

[Zachary Hoyt]

When I saw the title of this thread I thought maybe it was about King Kai Kawus (or Kaus or Koos, depending on ones spelling tastes) of Persia who (as I recall the story) was reputed to have flown by tying four eagles to a platform with a chair on it and tying a dead goat to a pole slightly above their reach.

[Patty Hann]

I don't fly if I can at all avoid it.
Since 2013 I've been very successful avoiding it.

[Jim Koepke]

I don't fly if I can at all avoid it.
Since 2013 I've been very successful avoiding it.

Well you have me beat in the "feet staying on the ground" club. My last time in the air was 2017.

jtk

[George Yetka]

That guy paid $260,000 in 1990 for that ticket. and has logged 12 million miles. He traded some miles for a guest spot on Seinfeld.

[Zachary Hoyt]

I haven't flown since January 2011, and that's okay with me. I never did get around much, and even less anymore.