Comic relief to start the day

[Jack Frederick]

Up at 5 my wife making the coffee. Me, sleepy eyed, I go out to open up the doors on the shop to get some cool morning air into the place. It is just bright enough that I turned on only one of the four banks of light. As one of the doors opens inward I spot this nice big juicy black widow on the bottom face of the door. I’m in shorts with short socks and my Birkenstocks so seeing this target of opportunity I swing my left foot to crush the spider. Once my foot hits the door, in the low light and black sock I am certain that the spider jumped onto my foot. it is to dark to tell so we have todays version of the Dance of Death as I try to get my Birk/spider off my foot. It was a question of getting killed by the spider or by the assorted equipment I was bouncing off in my panic dance. Now usually you have to fight like hell to keep Birks on. Not now, welded to my foot. Upon returning to the house my wife asked what I was doing out there as she had seen my flailing dance through the window. After 48 yrs together you never want to miss an opportunity to give her a laugh and there is no laugh better for a wife than the one offered at the husbands expense.

[Jim Koepke]

That is funny. Up here we have spiders that weave webs everywhere. It is kind of funny to be walking through the trees with someone not used to such and all of a suddens start doing the wiggling willies dance when they walk through a web.

I offer anyone a walking stick. They do not understand it is for waving ahead of to knock down the invisible webbing as much as it is to lend support on uneven ground.

jtk

[Steve Eure]

Come on Paul Harvey, "what's the rest of the story"? We want to hear the spiders point of view.
If you are not familiar with who Paul Harvey is, google it.
Thanks for the morning laugh.

[John K Jordan]

…
I offer anyone a walking stick. They do not understand it is for waving ahead of to knock down the invisible webbing as much as it is to lend support on uneven ground.

When riding a 4-wheeler in the morning I sometimes jam a stick vertically on the front to clear out the webs.

What I don’t much care for is moving through a web, riding or walking, then finding a big spider scurrying across my face or neck.

[John K Jordan]

And I saw this in a news feed today:

Utah Man Tries to Kill a Spider, Sparks 60-Acre Wildfire Instead
“Not sure why exactly he felt the need to burn the spider,” Utah County Sergeant Spencer Cannon said.

[Jim Koepke]

I used to kill spiders. Now I tend to trap them and release them outside. I also used to be more arachnophobic. Having a greenhouse where the spiders kill a lot of unwanted insects has changed that.

jtk

[Jack Frederick]

I had a big night. I had webbed from the porch rafter across the doorway onto the corrugated metal siding and down to the bottom of the door. I had to relocate my web from my preferred spot at the corner of the building. It was just the best location for air currents and exposure to my favorite flys coming from two directions but the meat headed guy who lives in the house walked through that masterpiece of a web. it extended from the building across the the plum tree just across the sidewalk. My only consolation is that it covered him from top of his head, face and all the way down to his knees. It is almost worth it to see a human, or whatever they are, when they get webbed. They don’t look like they can move like that. It is rather like a squirm, twist, shimmy with a half gainer, but the sound effects are the best part. The sun is almost up. Time for me to retreat and see what sticks around. Whoa, wait what is this? The wall is swinging in. Oh, nothing to worry about. It is the web guy. What is that coming my way. Move qui…

[Lawrence Duckworth]

....off to the right is one of my blown glass and forged metal spiders... part of the set of the last episode 8 American Gods (Ep108-Come To Jesus)

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483704 overcome your fear

[Sam Force]

You would never see me using those stairs!!! :eek:

[Michael Weber]

My daughter welcomes any spiders that enter her house. Recently moved from southern Oregon to Portland. I ask if she had gathered her house spiders and taken them with her.

[Jim Becker]

In general, "spiders are out friends" 'cause when there are spiders, there's also "spider food"...other insects. Of course, kicking black widows probably isn't the best idea. LOL

[Michael Schuch]

....off to the right is one of my blown glass and forged metal spiders... part of the set of the last episode 8 American Gods (Ep108-Come To Jesus)

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483704 overcome your fear


Many, many years ago a coworker and I went to a customers manufacturing site to clean their computers of many viruses. As we were about to leave they reminded us to make sure to get Jake's computer WAY back in the corner of the shop. Jake had some incredible metal sculptures all over his office that he had obviously crafted himself. Of course Jake had just kicked off an Autocad plot so we would have to wait for while. We were looking at all of his sculptures and noticed a very intricate metal spider in a metal spider web hanging proudly in the middle of one of the walls. It caught our attention because it had tiny red LED eyes that would occasionally light up and blink back and forth. Then the spider started tapping one of its back legs up and down. Matt went over to take a closer look at the spider with the tapping leg. Right as he got his face close to take a good look at the tapping leg the spider lifted the back leg all the way up in the air and proceed to pee right in Matt's face. I will never forget the look of complete shock on Matt's face as he was wiping the spider pee off of it... and the guys in the shop right outside the office door practically rolling on the ground from laughing so hard!

[Jim Koepke]

[edited]

Matt went over to take a closer look at the spider with the tapping leg. Right as he got his face close to take a good look at the tapping leg the spider lifted the back leg all the way up in the air and proceed to pee right in Matt's face. I will never forget the look of complete shock on Matt's face as he was wiping the spider pee off of it... and the guys in the shop right outside the office door practically rolling on the ground from laughing so hard!

This reminded me of a thread about Local Expressions / colloquialisms from a few years back > https://sawmillcreek.org/showthread.php?268550 < and my reply to another's comment:


— rainin’ harder than a cow pissin’ on a flat rock.


The common knowledge about this flat rock phenomenon has helped me to have fun and cause a few laughs. In my case the set-up story is about a buffalo versus the flat rock and why the buffalo nickel was discontinued:

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There is a different story about the back of the Jefferson nickel once displaying a fountain on the lawn of Monticello that had to be removed from the design:

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On the buffalo nickel there is a hole drilled in the C of Cents. On the Jefferson nickel the hole is drilled in the O of Of.

Sometimes the same person will fall for the joke with two different nickels. My aim is usually to go over their shoulder instead of in the face.

They have been some good cheap fun.

jtk

[Jack Frederick]

Steve, as to Paul Harvey, over the years when I would listen to the radio I never sought out PH, but if I ran across him I never would turn him off. He had a significant impact on my livelihood beginning in about ‘02. My firm was the Manuf Rep for Rinnai in the 6 New England States. A new CEO had just come in to run Rinnai US, perhaps the most brilliant & capable man I worked with/for over the years. In his first week on the job a call came in to Rinnai from the network saying that “Mr Paul Harvey would like to have a meeting with the boss at his Scottsdale home on such and such a date. Will anyone be there?” Well our guy went and essentially the message from PH was that he had a leak in one of his water heaters and it did quite a bit of damage to his home. Mr Harvey said, “There has to be a better way.” His local plumber having just attended one of our trainings offered the Rinnai tankless and he put them in. A marketer at heart and one never to miss an opportunity PH said to our guy that, “the nationwide implication of energy and space savings were substantial,” and he closed with the remark, “I may be an old man, but I can still make some tracks in the sand.” They made a deal and I heard his first broadcast. “I am so grateful to the plumber who suggested the Rinnai’s to me…” My office began getting calls from consumers. I would take calls and begin explaining the products features, benefits, cautions, etc and frequently the caller would stop me saying, “Sir, you don’t have to tell me about the product. If Mr Paul Harvey says this is what I should have then that is what I will have.” This guy had stroke. Remarkable and it went on for a long time. In a lot of ways PH kick started the tankless water heat business in the US. Rinnai was and is the leading manuf of tankless in NA and as it was still a relatively new market we required certification of the plumber prior to their being able to buy the product, so we re-doubled our training efforts and it paid off. In ‘02 manufacturers still had control of their distribution/market and could control access. This is no longer the case as everything is available to anyone on line. It was a remarkable experience and guys in the business talk about PH still. I asked the top guy and top Japanese bosses what it cost to get this PH program going. Both just rolled their eyes;) Happy Trails, Mr Harvey! It was an amazing experience and a lot of fun.