Why did I agree to do this?!

[scott spencer]

Have you ever agreed to help someone out only to have major regrets later when you find out the job is far different than you anticipated or had been led to believe?

While at my nephew's birthday party earlier in the week, my brother's inlaws were commenting on some of the pieces I've made for him. Then his MIL tells me (in front of everyone of course) that she'd like her cherry coffee table cut down to size to fit their new home better, and wondered if I could do that. "Sure....I guess" :rolleyes:. Then she requests that the cut off be turned into drop leaves....."ok..." :rolleyes: Her coffee table has an elliptical top with a rectangular shelf at the base....another omission from the original discussion. Her "cherry" table is really birch veneer over crapola wood and pressboard. The finish was such that it was hard to tell until I crosscut the table top! :eek: It's past the point of no return now....and there's not much I'm going to be able to do to make the drop leaf seam look good.

Neither the request nor any of the little complications or setbacks seem like that big of a deal alone, but the combination of "issues" vs the potential end result has me frustrated. Working with crapwood takes as much time as nice wood, but will never ever look like cherry or even birch for that matter! :rolleyes: Anyone else ever find themselves in the middle of something they'd just as soon haul to curb and forget about?

Sorry for the vent....now I'm off to spin gold out of straw. :D

[Jim Becker]

Have you ever agreed to help someone out only to have major regrets later when you find out the job is far different than you anticipated or had been led to believe?
Of course!
------

'Sounds like you have a nice opportunity to learn some new faux finishing techniques to "hide that edge" nicely. You may want to contact Jeff Jewitt or another finishing guru to get some advice on this. But no doubt, it's going to be a ton of work that I'm sure was not anticipated.

[Brian Hale]

You might come out ahead of the game (and perhaps better appreaciated) if you just build her a new one?

Brian :)

[Dennis McDonaugh]

Yikes!:eek: Scott, I don't envy you. I've been "roped" into a fiasco or two by well meaning family members and know how you feel. I hope your MIL understands this isn't your fault.

[Mark Rios]

I'm really feeling for you. I'd try to turn it around and maybe say something like, "oh BTW, Mrs.MIL? Were you aware that your cherry table isn't really cherry? I hope you weren't cheated when you bought it. Maybe you could take it up with your furniture salesman. This isn't really made of material that will work out very well for what you want. But hey...if you want to pay for the materials, I'm sure that I can make you something you would like much better".

I hate getting into a repair job of any kind where someone thinks that there furniture or deck or house or whatever is something great and it turns out to be bovine feces.

[Brian Austin]

I stopped being a nice guy about this kind of stuff after getting burned a few times. It's never like they described (either intentional or not) and, more often than not, just does not turn out well.

I'll do builds and design/builds but won't touch existing stuff. Strict policy now and the wife is WELL aware of it. ;)

[Bart Leetch]

[QUOTE=scott spencer]. Her "cherry" table is really birch veneer over crapola wood and pressboard. The finish was such that it was hard to tell until I crosscut the table top! :eek:

Scott I think I would take the cut off piece & show her what she has & ask if she would prefer to buy good material & have you make a table of the same style & right size to fit her needs? One out of real wood with a fine finish she can be proud of.

[Andy Hoyt]

Scott - Oh Man! This is deja vu, all over again! I feel for ya.

I once ran into a similar crapolawood table top under similar circumstances. I ultimately decided that my only recourse was to tell my "future" MIL that there were two options: Make an entirely new top from solid maple or try to match grain some rips that could be edge joined at the hinges and hide the crapolawood.

Happily, she chose the first option; and was so pleased with my work that she sent it off to college six months later with my "then" BIL. Over Thanksgiving break later on I learned that he threw it onto the bonfire at a homecoming rally.

Haven't made a thing for him since.

[Frank Pellow]

Have you ever agreed to help someone out only to have major regrets later when you find out the job is far different than you anticipated or had been led to believe?
Yes, about 10 years ago, I found myself in almost the same situation. :( The big difference was that it was me, not anyone else, who got me into the bind. I figured it was my fault for not recongnizing that the table I prommised to modify was not veneer (in my case, red oak veneer), so I replaced the veneer with real oak, said very little, and chalked it up to experience.

[Anthony Anderson]

Scott are you in the middle of adapting/modifying the table? If this is something that was mentioned at a party, and you rarely ever see the BIL's MIL (ah abbrevs.:D ) then you may never have to do the project. Many people will mention things in conversation at a party, and never think about it again. I am a procrastinater, and I have a lot of projects myself, so between the two, I can easily get myself out of those situations, if I really don't want to do the project. Be upfront and honest with the people and tell them that the table is not worth modifying, and that you will be happy to build them a new table for what the material costs + the cost of a new tool for the shop. Or, if you would rather not tackle the project, just tell them that you have so much going on right now it would take too long to get to. Recommend a custom furniture maker in town and let them it take there for an estimate. Though you should caution about the price involved. They will probably, happily, make due with the table they got. Many people cannot appreciate the cost, and labor involved in making nice furniture, nor can they appreciate the craftsmanship, as in Andy's case. Just imagine the table you spend so much time on, being used as fuel for a bon fire. Better off left alone. HTH, Bill

[Eddie Watkins]

Scott, it used to happen to me. It got to a point where it seemed all I did was work on junk. As a hobbyist my shop time is so limited (and important to me) that I have finally just quit doing anything except my own projects and LOML is the only one who gets any input into what those are. I love to help people but my hobby had gotten too much like a job when I was working on things I wasn't really interested in. I usually tell them they could buy new (junk) :) cheaper due to the price of wood or mention cost and that will discourage most.
Eddie

[Ellen Benkin]

It's always best to be honest -- especially when it involves relatives. Tell her the problems and the options. If she wants to pay for a a new top then make one. Otherwise, find some veneer tape to hide the edge and get it over with.

[Tom Pritchard]

Have you ever agreed to help someone out only to have major regrets later when you find out the job is far different than you anticipated or had been led to believe?


You did it because:

1) You have a good heart and...
2) You have the skills and creativity needed to finish the job and...
3) you needed an excuse for some new tools!!!!

Let me know if I can help!

[Peter Lyon]

Certainly! And I've tried to learn from these "situations" but they still occasionally occur. The worst part is when I look back on how I got into most of them, it occurs to me that I was manipulated. :mad:

I guess if I were in your situation I would explain the problem to your BIL's MIL and provide your recommendation how to best fix the problem. And, unless it was totally cost prohibitive, I wouldn't pursue reimbursement either. I'd just chalk it up to part of the lesson learned. :(

[Corey Hallagan]

Heh heh heh.... oohhh Scott.........

Corey

[scott spencer]

Thanks for the encouragement and the advice guys. Hopefully I'll learn not to jump into these things so naively next time. I'm sure she's not a fine furniture connaisseure so I'll probably just forge on and see what it looks like when I'm done. If she doesn't like it, my brother will have to hear about it, not me! :D

[Frank Pellow]

Yes, about 10 years ago, I found myself in almost the same situation. :( The big difference was that it was me, not anyone else, who got me into the bind. I figured it was my fault for not recongnizing that the table I prommised to modify was not veneer (in my case, red oak veneer), so I replaced the veneer with real oak, said very little, and chalked it up to experience.
I should add that I think that the lesson was worth the cost. I very much doubt that I could be fooled by a veneer now.

[Ed Blough]

Scott been there done that and got the t-shirt. After much messing around and a whole lot of anquish I trashed the original bought some good wood, made a whole new finished project. The person loved it ( who wouldn't I increased the value of original at least 10 fold), and thanked me as I walked way with an empty wallet and licking my wounds. I used the whole experience to learn to always say NO. :-)

[Dick Parr]

An engineer at work asked me if I would help him make is girls some bunk/twin beds. He didn't have the space or all the tools needed to make one and could not afford to buy the ones they wanted for the girls. He said he would supply the plans so that I could tell him decide what kind of materials he would need. No problem, after looking at them and figuring how much wood we would need and the plans called for a project kit that had all the hardware, we set a date to go pick up some wood and get started. This was in November. Took him to a friends place and got him red oak for $1.00 a bf finished 4 sides. $0.80 for the wood and 0.20 for the surfacing.

After we get started he tells me that we need to make this together so his girls know that he helped build it. But since he did not do anything on Wends day and Sunday except go to church and he had soccer practice on Tue and Thurs, that left us Monday, Friday and Saturday to work on it.

Remember he is an engineer and measured every cut by putting the wood on the table saw and used a machinist rule.:mad:

To make this short, in March I finally had to tell him to get the bed out of my shop because I was tired of moving it every time I wanted to work on something. The beds really did look nice, but 5 months.:mad: :mad:

From then on I decided I would help if it was a one day job, if not I would do the work myself to get it done.

[Mark Riegsecker]

[quote=Andy Hoyt]Scott - Oh Man! This is deja vu, all over again! I feel for ya.

I once ran into a similar crapolawood table top under similar circumstances. I ultimately decided that my only recourse was to tell my "future" MIL that there were two options: Make an entirely new top from solid maple or try to match grain some rips that could be edge joined at the hinges and hide the crapolawood.

Happily, she chose the first option; and was so pleased with my work that she sent it off to college six months later with my "then" BIL. Over Thanksgiving break later on I learned that he threw it onto the bonfire at a homecoming rally.

Haven't made a thing for him since.


Oh man! That even hurts just to hear Andy.

This is the kind of thing that ruins Chistmas dinner

[Robert Malone]

Yes Scott!
I presently have a table, a pine chair, and 4 walnut chairs to repair/rebuild in the garage/shop.
Couldn't say no to stepson or friend.
They're in no hurry and neither am I.
Bob

[Frank Pellow]

Yes Scott!
I presently have a table, a pine chair, and 4 walnut chairs to repair/rebuild in the garage/shop.
Couldn't say no to stepson or friend.
They're in no hurry and neither am I.
Bob
Are you sure that they are solid wood? :D

[Anthony Anderson]

Took him to a friends place and got him red oak for $1.00 a bf finished 4 sides. $0.80 for the wood and 0.20 for the surfacing.

WOW, Can I drive down just to get some Oak?

Remember he is an engineer and measured every cut by putting the wood on the table saw and used a machinist rule.:mad:

ARRRGGHHH!!!

To make this short, in March I finally had to tell him to get the bed out of my shop because I was tired of moving it every time I wanted to work on something. The beds really did look nice, but 5 months.:mad: :mad:

Was he mad when you told him the beds had to go?

From then on I decided I would help if it was a one day job, if not I would do the work myself to get it done.

I have some cabinetry that needs built for the living room. They will most certainly take more than one day to complete (especially with me working on them). So I will gladly drive the 12 hours to come and pick them up after you have finished them. Thanks so much Dick. Man you are the greatest!:D

But I know exactly how you feel. Especially when you put all of that work into a great project, and then someone only says that it looks "nice". NICE?, NICE?? NICE??? You feel like throwing the piece at them. But since we are all civilized here at SMC I wouldn't do that. Later, Bill

[Robert Mayer]

I did the same thing. I am building a metal shed for my neighbors. Im getting paid for it, but lately I have come into some money so i really dont need the work. But Im half done so I cant back out.

[Rob Horton]

Scott,

I did a simliar thing. Made the mistake of showing someone here at work a keepsake box I'd made for my son. A lady asked me, could you make me one of those? "Sure", I said. Then she immediately went into a ton of design changes and the "keepsake box" ends up being a "small chest". Even worse, she then left the company before we got the design down. So now, I'm "on the hook" to do this for her "sometime this next spring" - whatever the heck that means ;) So I feel your pain man!

[scott spencer]

Scott,

I did a simliar thing. Made the mistake of showing someone here at work a keepsake box I'd made for my son. A lady asked me, could you make me one of those? "Sure", I said. Then she immediately went into a ton of design changes and the "keepsake box" ends up being a "small chest". Even worse, she then left the company before we got the design down. So now, I'm "on the hook" to do this for her "sometime this next spring" - whatever the heck that means ;) So I feel your pain man! Rob - Your story reminds me of when a woman I used to work with asked for some help moving some items in her house before she moved out. While there she asked if I'd throw out the lumber sitting in the garage loft.....it turned out to be about 20 rough sawn boards of cherry! :) Super! ...I loaded up the van and all seemed well.

Shortly after came the request for a cherry plant stand....no problem, she definitely deserved it. Next came the request for a cherry quilt rack...ok, she's a friend. Then came the request to fix the cherry quilt rack that someone had sat on....alright, she's still a friend. Then one morning over coffee she mentioned a cherry coat rack....my lack of a response must have given her an answer! :rolleyes:

[Anthony Anderson]

Scott,

I will let you have $140 worth of cherry, and I will be your friend too, if you will make those projects for me. I will even go have coffee with you (you are buying). Was this before you were married? Did you want to date this woman? WOW, you are too nice, or I am getting too old! Now about those projects....Later, Bill:D

[scott spencer]

...Was this before you were married? Did you want to date this woman? It was after I was married...I had two of the kids with me helping. ...And bite your tongue about dating her! :eek: :D ...she's bigger, louder, and older than me! Once she had muscled her way into the coffee clutch, she did start to bring in her fair share of the supplies and was good company! She had a part-time job in a bakery that paid some dividends... :rolleyes:

[Rob Horton]

Scott,

Maybe I should try your "no response" tactic next time ;) Sounds like a plan.

[Robert Mayer]

I just tell people the motor on my stanley plane is broken.

[Michael Sobik]

Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply.

[Pete Brown]

Happily, she chose the first option; and was so pleased with my work that she sent it off to college six months later with my "then" BIL. Over Thanksgiving break later on I learned that he threw it onto the bonfire at a homecoming rally.

Oh man! I sure as anything would have been pretty p**sed off over that.

Pete

[Pete Brown]

I just tell people the motor on my stanley plane is broken.
ROFL! I'll have to try that one

[glenn bradley]

Been there, no way out for me either. Built some pullout pantry shelves for LOML's mom. Now I'm doing the whole kitchen.

[Alan Tolchinsky]

Scott - Oh Man! This is deja vu, all over again! I feel for ya.

I once ran into a similar crapolawood table top under similar circumstances. I ultimately decided that my only recourse was to tell my "future" MIL that there were two options: Make an entirely new top from solid maple or try to match grain some rips that could be edge joined at the hinges and hide the crapolawood.

Happily, she chose the first option; and was so pleased with my work that she sent it off to college six months later with my "then" BIL. Over Thanksgiving break later on I learned that he threw it onto the bonfire at a homecoming rally.

Haven't made a thing for him since.

Andy that kind of behavior hurts and just plain sucks. Sorry about that. :(

[Jerry Olexa]

Scott, I don't envy you. This is a classic "no win" situation. You'll find a solution, I'm sure.

[Gary Breckenridge]

No good deed goes unpunished....:mad:

Get out of this deal as gracefully as you can.:o

And learn your lesson.:cool:

[Art Mulder]

Someone's digging up old threads again... check the date on the original post folks.... ;)

[Robert Mahon]

Whenever I am asked to do work on someone's property I say "I'll take a look at it. Bring it over and I'll let you know if I can do anything."

That usually ends it. Usually.

[Bill Simmeth]

Someone's digging up old threads again... check the date on the original post folks.... ;)
Yes, these self-resurrecting threads are a hoot. I would, however, love to hear how this turned out!

[Curt Harms]

Been there, no way out for me either. Built some pullout pantry shelves for LOML's mom. Now I'm doing the whole kitchen.
Now that's project creep!:D

[scott spencer]

Yes, these self-resurrecting threads are a hoot. I would, however, love to hear how this turned out!

It's baaa.....aaack! :eek: Thought this was a chapter of my life I'd put behind me! :D

As long as your all here....here's a pic of the finished item. Thank God for low resolution cameras! ;)

[Jerry Olexa]

Nice job, Scott...You made the best of a bad situation...Oh well..

[Dave Bureau]

I tell them that there are 2 o's in my name (Good) not 1 (God).

[Bill Simmeth]

Thanks for the update Scott! Looks like it turned out pretty good, considering. The big question is -- Is your brother still married? :D

[David Cramer]

Absolutely been there Scott. I tried to help out an elderly man for free when his kitchen table's computerized wood paper finish was giving way. He had sat in the same spot every day for years drinking coffee and wore out a good sized spot.

Someone that knows him and me said "Dave can do it". Well one thing lead to another and I ended up making him a whole new top, FOR FREE. The laminate I was going to try to put on wouldn't work because of the intricate edge that the router bit would not follow, unless it plowed out a new profile. Then I would have had raw wood on the rim that I would be staining. He didn't want that anyways. So after assessing, and re-assessing the situation, I said "sir, How about I make you a new "real wood" top and you'll be go to go". Not what I originally thought I was going there for and I am glad that it worked out for the man, but it wasn't it didn't turn out the way it was told to me.

I originally went there thinking I could get away with a home depot/lowes plastic laminate covering and he'd be happy and I could do it quicker. It didn't work out that way and now when someone says, oh it's easy, you gotta see how easy this will be for ya to do, I don't so readily believe them. As my Dad says, sometimes you start working on something and then find out (when it's too late), that......"you really opened up a can of maggots:eek: !". He was right.

Dave

[Michael Gibbons]

I hate getting "volunteered' to do something. My wife and I had downright drag-out fights over this. I won. She now politely asks if I can do something for someone and if I say "No" the conversation goes no further.


.........Mike