jokes

[Brian Deakin]

A bear goes into a bar and orders a beer , the barman says that will be $10 The bear sits down at a table and slowly drinks his beer
The barman walks over to the bear and says We do not get many bears in here

The bear replies
I am not surprised at these prices


A lion and a giraffe go into a bar. The giraffe lies down on the floor and falls fast asleep

The barman says What is that lying on the floor

The lion replies That is not a lion its a giraffe

[John Goodin]

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer and nachos.

The bar tender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve food in here."

[John K Jordan]

I don't know any bar jokes but how about one from the chicken house? (Some people who haven't been around chickens don't get it.)

Did you hear about the guy who lost his chewing gum in the chicken house? He thought he found it three times.

[Brian Deakin]

A man driving along a freeway at 80 mph glances to his side and sees a chicken running alongside his car The man increases his speed to 90 mph and the chicken keeps up The man increases his speed again and the chicken matches him
The man looks at the chicken and is suprised to see it has three legs

The chicken the runs up an exit and into a farm
The man follows the chicken into the farm and speaks to the farmer

Man.. Have you seen him
Farmer ..Seen who
Man ...The 3 legged chicken
Farmer... Oh yes we breed them
Man ...Why do you breed three legged chickens
Farmer... Well I like a leg ,my wife likes a leg and my son likes a leg
Man... What do they taste like
Farmer ...I don,t know we have not caught one yet

[Kev Williams]

This one may or may not get kicked... ;)

The farmerr tells his daughter:
"A guy is coming to inseminate one of the cows in about an hour, but I have to go to the bank and pay some bills. I need you to show him which cow."

daughter: "but we have like a million cows, I don't know which one..."

farmer: "No problem, I hammered a big nail on the corral gate so you'll know which cow is the right one.:

daughter: "Oh, okay!"

An hour later the guy shows up.
the guy: "I'm here to inseminate your cow."

daughter: "follow me, I'll show you which one."

They walk thru the barn, and the daughter spies the nail.

daughter: "This is the one right here!"

guy: "so, how do you this is the right cow?"

daughter: "--this nail right here."

guy: "so what's the nail for?"

daughter" "I guess it's to hang your pants on, can I watch?"

[Bruce Wrenn]

Little Johnny missed school one day. Next day teacher asked where he was, and he replied "I had to take the cow to the bull." Teacher asked "Couldn't your daddy have done that?" To which Johnny replies, "Maybe , but not as good as the bull did."

[Peter Kelly]

This one may or may not get kicked... ;)

The farmerr tells his daughter:
"A guy is coming to inseminate one of the cows in about an hour, but I have to go to the bank and pay some bills. I need you to show him which cow."

daughter: "but we have like a million cows, I don't know which one..."

farmer: "No problem, I hammered a big nail on the corral gate so you'll know which cow is the right one.:

daughter: "Oh, okay!"

An hour later the guy shows up.
the guy: "I'm here to inseminate your cow."

daughter: "follow me, I'll show you which one."

They walk thru the barn, and the daughter spies the nail.

daughter: "This is the one right here!"

guy: "so, how do you this is the right cow?"

daughter: "--this nail right here."

guy: "so what's the nail for?"

daughter" "I guess it's to hang your pants on, can I watch?"How could something so wrong, be, so wrong.