Conversation with a customer today at work...

[Dennis Peacock]

<b>Customer:</B> Why aren’t my backups running?

<B>Me:</B> Because the tape library is broken and we have been working on it with hardware engineers for the last 2 weeks.

<B>Customer:</B> So how does this impact my backups?

<B>Me:</B> <I>No tape library…..No backups.</I> :mad: :rolleyes:

[Ken Fitzgerald]

DUH!

Arent' customers fun somtimes?

You have my sympathies Dennis! I've been there....done that....wore the t-shirt out!

[Don Baer]

Customer: Why aren’t my backups running?

Me: Because the tape library is broken and we have been working on it with hardware engineers for the last 2 weeks.

Customer: So how does this impact my backups?

Me: No tape library…..No backups. :mad: :rolleyes:

What you should have added was "here's your sign"

[John Miliunas]

ROFL... :D That's too funny! Although not nearly on the scale you're doing, it just never fails to amaze me what little thought people give to their critical data. My prior assignment at the UW was in the Desktop and Repair area, where we also happened to do data recovery from failing systems. Students, I can almost understand but, I wish I had a five-spot for every department machine which came in looking to recover lost data. Why? Well, let's see: For starters, we have literally millions invested in a perfectly viable Network with home directories on servers, all of which are RAID protected AND get backed up to tape nightly. Secondly, no less than 90% of these units had their own CD recording ability. The bulk of the "important data" needing to be recovered could usually be transfered to a single data CD!!!:) The funniest ones were the people who came in to use the service....a second time!!!:D :cool:

[Dennis Peacock]

Yea, this one ranks right up there with:

<B>Customer:</B> Hello, Dennis? Can you come fix my "terminal"?
<B>Me:</B> Why sure!!! I'll be right there.
<I>A little time passes........</I>
<B>Me:</B> Ok, so what's the problem?
<B>Customer:</B> "My light bulb has gone out."
<B>Me:</B> (insert very puzzled look at this point).....OK, I'll take a look at it and see what I can do.
<B>Customer:</B> It comes on, but the screen won't light up, so my light bulb needs replacing.
<B>Me:</B> Okey-Dokey. Go get yourself some coffee and I'll fix ya up.

Customer leaves for about 15 minutes. All the time the screen "intensity" was turned all the way down on the terminal screen, so I turned it up. :) <b>THEN</b> I ran to the computer room and picked up an old projection screen bulb and ran back to the customer's desk.

<B>Customer:</B> So, is it fixed?
<B>Me:</b> Yup, got it all fixed up. See? Here's the old blown bulb.:rolleyes:
<B>Customer:</B> GREAT!!! I can get back to work now. Thank You!!!
<B>Me:</B> You're very welcome. Call me anytime.!!!:D

True Story.....This happened when I worked with PATRIOT Missile Systems. :eek: :D

[Jim Hager]

When I was in college ( no mention of how long ago) I worked for Wal-Mart. Some lady came in and requested that one of us unlock her vehicle that she had locked the keys in. I went out to the parking lot with a coat hanger out of the lounge and twisted the wire around and unlocked the door with the plunger on the door panel. (Now you may understand how long it's been) I unlocked the door and helped the lady load her stuff into the back then I grinned and handed her the hanger and said "here keep this behind your seat in case you ever lock your keys in again." She thanked my kindly and stuck the hanger under the seat and said " I don't know why I didn't already have one in here anyway." She closed the door and drove away, then I had my good laugh.:D I figure that she later understood the conversation and felt like a complete knucklehead but hey we've all been there.:eek:

[John Miliunas]

Used to work in the office of a manufacturing plant. One of the "initiations" for some of the newbies was: "Hey, could you go in back and get some more plasma for the plasma cutter? There should be some back by shipping." :D Strange, but seems nobody could ever find it!:D :cool:

[Mark Riegsecker]

So the "computer guy" on Saturday Night Live was real life events:D

[John Miliunas]

So the "computer guy" on Saturday Night Live was real life events:D

Hah!!! That turkey got nuthin' on the real deal! I'll bet if all the real computer support/techies on this site alone got all their stories together, we'd have one hilarious book!!!!:D :D :cool:

[Tony Falotico]

Not computer related but I work for the State Road Dept here in Florida...... Had a guy call in the other day to tell us the roads were slippery when wet, especially at the red lights!

My all time favorite was the guy who called in about a year ago and adamantly argued with me that we needed to put a fourth color in traffic signals to warn when the yellow was about to come on !!

[John Miliunas]

My all time favorite was the guy who called in about a year ago and adamantly argued with me that we needed to put a fourth color in traffic signals to warn when the yellow was about to come on !!

Well heck, why stop there??? Green, lime green, yellow, pink and then red! :D When we were in the Ft. Myers area this last summer, I could swear that each and every light at each and every intersection was RED!!!:o :) :cool:

[Andy Hoyt]

Any of you old Navy guys ever get asked:

To go get some non-skid remover.
To stand the mail buoy watch.
Or my all time favorite - To go get a bucket of steam

[Don Baer]

Any of you old Navy guys ever get asked:

To go get some non-skid remover.
To stand the mail buoy watch.
Or my all time favorite - To go get a bucket of steam

How about getting a bucket of vacuum... had one shart guy bring back a bucket of light bulbs.

or how about a metric cresent wrench.

when I was on the Sperry (AS-12) we were on a cruise and a 1st class MM sent a young seaman 2nd on mail bouy watch from the engine room. He stood the watch fro 3 days 4 on 8 off. The XO finaly decided to have a little pity on him and went out to the bow to explain to him that there was no such thing as a mail bouy. The kid looked at the XO and said. "SIR I know that there no such thing as a mail bouy and they knowtheres no such thing but they don't know that I know and it's a he!! of a lot cooler up here on deck then it is in that engine room". The XO told him to "Carry on"

[Tim Armstrong]

When first year Scouts were helping to tie up tents/tarps, etc. on the first day of Summer Camp they were quickly dispatched to the quartermaster to bring back 50' of shore line. Hip to the gig and with a straight face, the QM sent the poor kid running another 3/4 mile down the road saying that the Waterfront director had it this year. Of course the Waterfront director quickly replied... oh, no - you're in trouble, we've used it all up already. Returned to the site out of breath and with a look failure on his face, we would pat him on the back and explain that he could redeem himself by going back over to the quartermaster for a left-handed shovel. :D

I hope they are still doing this stuff at Scout camp these days - those were great times.

[Lee DeRaud]

...or how about a metric cresent wrench.BTDT: the tool kit in a friend's Mazda had a crescent wrench labeled "200mm". I swapped him one of my 8" wrenches for it just in case I ever needed one in metric.:p

[Keith Starosta]

How about getting a bucket of vacuum... had one shart guy bring back a bucket of light bulbs.

or how about a metric cresent wrench.

when I was on the Sperry (AS-12) we were on a cruise and a 1st class MM sent a young seaman 2nd on mail bouy watch from the engine room. He stood the watch fro 3 days 4 on 8 off. The XO finaly decided to have a little pity on him and went out to the bow to explain to him that there was no such thing as a mail bouy. The kid looked at the XO and said. "SIR I know that there no such thing as a mail bouy and they knowtheres no such thing but they don't know that I know and it's a he!! of a lot cooler up here on deck then it is in that engine room". The XO told him to "Carry on"

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Now that's thinking!!! I bet that young man went on to save lives...

- Keith

[Jim Becker]

My all time favorite was the guy who called in about a year ago and adamantly argued with me that we needed to put a fourth color in traffic signals to warn when the yellow was about to come on !!

Interesting...considering so many folks consider red to be "pink" anyway and "optional", especially if they are driving the bigger vehicle.

[Bill Lewis]

We had a guy here showing off his new truck to an young engineer that used to be with our group. While he was admiring the complicated engine compartment, it was sugggested to him that he try to locate the spark plugs. He tried, and tried even though it was a diesel.

Now this may sound like a prank, but the engineer was told it was a diesel, and the guy got his degree from some maritime college (I'd have to go ask someone to find the name) He was also an officer in the Naval Reserves. Fortunately he has since moved on.

[Jeff Sudmeier]

Customer: Why aren’t my backups running?

Me: Because the tape library is broken and we have been working on it with hardware engineers for the last 2 weeks.

Customer: So how does this impact my backups?

Me: No tape library…..No backups. :mad: :rolleyes:

Your customer knew their backups weren't running!??!?!?! WOW ours don't know what a backup is :)

[Dennis Peacock]

Your customer knew their backups weren't running!??!?!?! WOW ours don't know what a backup is :)

Jeff,

Sometimes it requires a "need" for having something back that your "deleted" by accident in order to find out what a "Backup" really is. :rolleyes: :eek: :D

Just so you know? We (all 7 of us) manage approximately 997 backups per day of every week and we average a total of 1.8 Petabytes of data backed up every single month.....or only 21.6PB per year.........for now anyway. We're growing more every single month. Good for the company, BAD..!!! for me...means more work without getting more people.:mad: Don't get me started on THAT one.!!!!:mad: :eek: :confused:

[David Wilson]

Brings back memory's of my time in the Navy. When we would get a new guy in the electronics shop we would send them on an errand to supply for a gallon of relative bearing greese.

[John Bailey]

No computer problems, but one day I was substituting in a high school band class. I was told by the director that if I was working with one group of instruments, the others in the band were to keep busy by pretending to play and pushing the right keys or valves down while following their part in the music. When some of the players started to get a little unruly I said "come on guys you're supposed to finger your parts." Needless to say this did not become a "teachable moment."

John