A new reason (to me) to never own a Porsche

[Roger Feeley]

My son-in-law has a Porsche Boxter. He drove it to work and parked in the companies underground garage. It wouldn't start. Something is wrong with the charging system and he has a dead battery. Long story short, in order to pop the hood, you have to push a button. There is no mechanical way to open the hood to get to the dead battery. Whaaaa???

Thankfully, Porsche provided a way. You take the cover off the fuse box inside and there's a place to clip a charger or booster box.

But really?

I wouldn't have a sports car anyway. At 6'-3" and a bad knee, I have no desire to climb out of such a low slung car. I'm more of a truck type guy. But this fly-by-wire stuff is getting out of hand.

A few years ago there was a case where a woman was driving a Kia Sorento on I-29 heading north from Kansas City. Apparently, the throttle is an electronic link and not mechanical. Something went wrong in the cars computer and the throttle went full open and stayed there. For 90 minutes she was escorted by Highway Patrol at over 100 mph while 911 had her try all sorts of things to stop the car. Finally something worked, the car stopped and she pulled off into the median. The car was immediately flanked front and back by cop cars to prevent it from going again. She got out and fainted dead away. My takeaway from that is that I will never own a car that doesn't have a reliable kill switch, even if I have to install something myself.

[Wade Lippman]

I've never understood the concept of sports cars. Or expensive watches. Or designer clothes.
"I am so rich I can spend money on things that are pretty much the same as cheap things, except for price"?

[Art Mann]

If you have never owned a sports car, then how do you know it is "pretty much the same as cheap things"?

[Roger Feeley]

I didn't mean to start a flame war over sports cars. While it's true that I have no interest in them, I certainly don't begrudge others who do. In point of fact, I am grateful for the racing industry that has brought us so many safety innovations.

My point was that some things on cars are unnecessarily complicated. Maybe on that small car, it's not possible to provide a mechanical linkage to release the hood. I'm not an expert. But, superficially, it seems kind of silly that the only way to get to your dead battery requires a working battery. I picked on Porsche, but my comment applies to other things as well.

Two years ago we rented an SUV and the cigarette lighter failed and we couldn't power our GPS. To me, a cigarette lighter socket is about the simplest component on a car but this one had a section in the manual that only a Philadelphia lawyer would understand.

[Malcolm McLeod]

We are allowed to spell 'fun' in many different ways.

[Wade Lippman]

If you have never owned a sports car, then how do you know it is "pretty much the same as cheap things"?

Enlighten me. I have a Mazda CX-3. What does a Porsche Boxter do better for 250% of the price of a Mazda?
Obviously it goes faster and accelerates faster, but since the Mazda goes as fast as you can drive a car, and accelerates as fast as you can reasonably accelerate a car, I am not sure those count as better.

[John M Wilson]

A few years ago there was a case where a woman was driving a Kia Sorento on I-29 heading north from Kansas City. Apparently, the throttle is an electronic link and not mechanical. Something went wrong in the cars computer and the throttle went full open and stayed there. For 90 minutes she was escorted by Highway Patrol at over 100 mph while 911 had her try all sorts of things to stop the car. Finally something worked, the car stopped and she pulled off into the median. The car was immediately flanked front and back by cop cars to prevent it from going again. She got out and fainted dead away. My takeaway from that is that I will never own a car that doesn't have a reliable kill switch, even if I have to install something myself.

A remarkable number of these "run away car" stories end up being a panicked driver pushing on the wrong pedal with all of their might.

Stop and think about it... how many of us (in our younger days) have done a "brake torque" on a car with an automatic transmission? If you hold the brake pedal down, all 4 wheels are holding you still. You press the accelerator, the engine roars, but the car won't move. (Let off the brake a little and you get the desired burn-out). In modern cars, the brakes are far more powerful than the engine.

Even if this lady's throttle had hung open, and her brakes had faded to the point of uselessness (not easy to do with disk brakes), if she had shifted into neutral, the car would have slowed to a stop.

Not saying it can't happen in very unusual circumstances, but after the 60 Minute hack-job on Audi for unintended acceleration, a jillion trial lawyers tried to replicate the results and couldn't. They did eventually find that the placement of the pedals on the Audi was non-standard, and this led to the driver inadvertently applying the accelerator rather than the brake.

As risk-averse as automakers are nowadays, these electronic things are tested nine ways to Sunday. Not saying it can't happen, but the failure tree is immense. Far more likely is an error by the human in the loop.

Just my two cents...:D

[Frederick Skelly]

I wouldn't own one simply because their styling just turns me off - and always has. The boxter is the best of the bunch, but only by a little. ( Sorry, Porsche faithful here.) Yeah, I know they're faster than the devil and they're a blast to drive. They're german - of course they are. But their styling just turns me off.

Though I could get used to ugly for a twin turbo cayenne. :D:D That beast is hard to beat, if you're going to buy an SUV anyway.

[Roger Feeley]

Enlighten me. I have a Mazda CX-3. What does a Porsche Boxter do better for 250% of the price of a Mazda?
Obviously it goes faster and accelerates faster, but since the Mazda goes as fast as you can drive a car, and accelerates as fast as you can reasonably accelerate a car, I am not sure those count as better.

There is a feeling of 'wearing' the car rather than just driving it. At one time in the distant past, my wife had a sports car and it's a different experience. She loved driving it but hated paying the repair bills so we got rid of it. She still kind of misses it. I just didn't care. It's just a different perspective. This morning, my wife learned of a place in NJ called DiggerLand where you can go drive a backhoe and frontloader and stuff. I thought that would be great fun. My son-in-law said he would rather strap on a really fast car and drive around a race track.

[Roger Feeley]

John, that's generally my assumption as well. In this case the chase went on for 90 minutes. The police were involved almost from the beginning and no charges were filed. Apparently, there were interlocks to prevent the car from going into neutral while the throttle was on full. Stuff like that.

I stick with my takeaway. I will never own a car that doesn't have some way to kill the engine. Even if I have to have a switch wired up to kill power to the computer or something, I'm going to have a way to stop the car.

"The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain."
Lt. Commander Montgomery Scott: Star Trek III: The search for Spock.

[Mike Henderson]

The 911 I had was fun to drive but it rode hard - my wife hated riding in it. And it used a LOT of gas (11 MPG around town). It was a 2 liter boxer engine and it put out a lot of power but sucked up the gas. We used to joke that it was gas cooled (instead of air cooled).

I owned an MGB earlier in my life - when I was single. It was a fun car, also.

Mike

[For legal street driving, you won't see a lot of difference between an expensive sports car and a lower priced sports car. The expensive sports car usually has an engine and suspension that is designed for racing (with some detuning for the street). The engine is often designed that it could run at very high RPMs and output a lot of power for an extended period of time, without blowing up. But you just can't use that in legal street driving. It's funny to see someone driving a Lamborghini out here in LA - stuck in traffic, inching along at maybe 20 MPH.]

[Art Mann]

Enlighten me. I have a Mazda CX-3. What does a Porsche Boxter do better for 250% of the price of a Mazda?
Obviously it goes faster and accelerates faster, but since the Mazda goes as fast as you can drive a car, and accelerates as fast as you can reasonably accelerate a car, I am not sure those count as better.

If you have lived life as an adult for any length of time and don't know the differences between a sports car and an SUV, there is nothing I can say that will enlighten you. It isn't just about speed or acceleration.

[James Baker SD]

Maybe on that small car, it's not possible to provide a mechanical linkage to release the hood.

I have a 95 Mazda RX-7. It has a lever under the dash to open the hood. Lever is attached via a steel cable to the latch on the hood. When the car was less than a year old, I pulled the lever one day to check the oil or something, and heard a loud, ugly "bong" as the steel cable snapped. It took the car back to Mazda and they could not figure out how to open the hood with the cable broken either. Kept the car a week trying, then told me they would have to cut the car body off its chassis to access the hood latch. I refused to approve that drastic approach as it seemed to me my car's value would be that of a vehicle salvaged from being totaled.

Long story short, dealer finally called Japan, they sent someone over who managed to release the hood by removing one of the headlights using special tools he had. They found a sharp piece of weld in the channel for the cable had cut it, so they completed ground and polished the channel before installing a new cable. All total, the car was gone for about 2 weeks, but fortunately for me, it was still under warranty.

But, a mechanical solution doesn't always make it easy.

[Jamie Buxton]

Enlighten me. I have a Mazda CX-3. What does a Porsche Boxter do better for 250% of the price of a Mazda?
Obviously it goes faster and accelerates faster, but since the Mazda goes as fast as you can drive a car, and accelerates as fast as you can reasonably accelerate a car, I am not sure those count as better.

"Better" is generally not linear with cost. For instance, there are many SMC folks who buy Festool tools. They cost a bunch more than DeWalt and the like -- maybe five or ten times, depending on which tool. They're probably better than the DeWalt class, but five or ten times -- not likely. Yet many woodworkers have found the performance benefits worth the cost. Maybe you can think of Porsche owners as the automotive equivalent to Festool owners.

[Wade Lippman]

If you have lived life as an adult for any length of time and don't know the differences between a sports car and an SUV, there is nothing I can say that will enlighten you. It isn't just about speed or acceleration.

If you can't explain the difference, you don't know the difference.

[Jerome Stanek]

I had a z car back in the 70's that was a lot of fun to drive.

[Rick Moyer]

"Better" is generally not linear with cost. For instance, there are many SMC folks who buy Festool tools. They cost a bunch more than DeWalt and the like -- maybe five or ten times, depending on which tool. They're probably better than the DeWalt class, but five or ten times -- not likely. Yet many woodworkers have found the performance benefits worth the cost. Maybe you can think of Porsche owners as the automotive equivalent to Festool owners.
THIS may be the best analogy I've ever seen. Well done!

[Wade Lippman]

"Better" is generally not linear with cost. For instance, there are many SMC folks who buy Festool tools. They cost a bunch more than DeWalt and the like -- maybe five or ten times, depending on which tool. They're probably better than the DeWalt class, but five or ten times -- not likely. Yet many woodworkers have found the performance benefits worth the cost. Maybe you can think of Porsche owners as the automotive equivalent to Festool owners.

Interesting example.
8 years ago I bought a Kapex and sold my Dewalt SCMS. As a woodworking tool the Festool simply performs better than the Dewalt, and I can list the advantages.

I just don't see how a Porsche performs better than a Mazda. Aside from costing more, it uses more gas, costs more to maintain and insure, and carries much less cargo and passengers. (I suspect it also doesn't perform as well in the snow...)

I understand the Porsche does rather better at 140mph on the Autobahn, but on the NYS Thruway I just don't see the point of it.

[Joe Bradshaw]

Just this year, I decided to give up my childish toy and trade in my MB SLK280. I loved that car. Now I have a small suv and it works better for me.
Joe

[Rich Engelhardt]

I got all dressed up one day , went to the Porsche dealer and made up a story about inheriting a bunch of money from a dead aunt.
They had a two year old 911 come in on a trade & we took it for a test drive....

WOW - is all I can say.

[Phillip Mitchell]

I drove a '94 Mazda Miata as my daily driver for about 6 years, which is essentially a poor man's Porsche, in many basic ways. I used to drive it spiritedly on the street (but still within safe limits) and would enter into Autocross races with it as much as I could at the time for the more raw experiences that it begged me for. Life intervened; practicalities took over and I needed a car that could move more than 2 people and 2 small suitcases at a time. I'm glad I don't drive it everyday anymore, but man, do I miss driving that car at times…

The feedback of a perfectly weighted steering wheel, coupled to very sensitive suspension. The control and confidence of a 50:50 weight distribution. The smile you get from running your car to redline and still being under the speed limit (most of the time, anyway.) The fluidity of the transmission shifting. The comfort and support of the molded seat to your body. And when you finally get that chance to let it hang out on the line (at an event or the track), there is no equal feeling to toeing that line of control. Of being on the edge of traction in a corner where you can feel the car.

That's what sports cars are really about. I can't really speak for someone driving a Lambo in LA freeway traffic, but there are certainly sports car owners out there who know what I'm talking about and why it matters.

There's an element of experiencing a sports car that can't be logically justified. It's more of a feeling, and once you get that feeling, then no amount of explanation can really do it justice. I think that's what was mentioned above.

To compare the passenger hauling or snow traction capabilities of a sports car to "Blank practical, cheap car" is certainly a reasonable conversation to have, but that's kinda missing the point.

[Wade Lippman]

I got all dressed up one day , went to the Porsche dealer and made up a story about inheriting a bunch of money from a dead aunt.
They had a two year old 911 come in on a trade & we took it for a test drive....

WOW - is all I can say.

No, you can say more than that. Why WOW? Really, what did it do that your car didn't do?

I said WOW the first time I got my skis to carve because it was a completely different experience than skidding; but I just can't image how a Porsche could feel different than any other decent handling car. (well, I mean when driven under 100mph. I don't doubt it feels different at high speeds.)

[Wade Lippman]

I drove a '94 Mazda Miata as my daily driver for about 6 years, which is essentially a poor man's Porsche, in many basic ways. I used to drive it spiritedly on the street (but still within safe limits) and would enter into Autocross races with it as much as I could at the time for the more raw experiences that it begged me for. Life intervened; practicalities took over and I needed a car that could move more than 2 people and 2 small suitcases at a time. I'm glad I don't drive it everyday anymore, but man, do I miss driving that car at times…

The feedback of a perfectly weighted steering wheel, coupled to very sensitive suspension. The control and confidence of a 50:50 weight distribution. The smile you get from running your car to redline and still being under the speed limit (most of the time, anyway.) The fluidity of the transmission shifting. The comfort and support of the molded seat to your body. And when you finally get that chance to let it hang out on the line (at an event or the track), there is no equal feeling to toeing that line of control. Of being on the edge of traction in a corner where you can feel the car.

That's what sports cars are really about. I can't really speak for someone driving a Lambo in LA freeway traffic, but there are certainly sports car owners out there who know what I'm talking about and why it matters.

There's an element of experiencing a sports car that can't be logically justified. It's more of a feeling, and once you get that feeling, then no amount of explanation can really do it justice. I think that's what was mentioned above.

Thank you. I don't understand it, but I hear you.

[Jason Roehl]

Ok, I've never had a sports car, but I did own a sport bike at one point in time, a '94 Suzuki Katana 750 (GSX750F, with some performance mods). It replaced a much older, clunkier '77 Honda CB750F Super Sport, which was my first bike. That Honda was my first set of wheels, and served me pretty well for a few years, first as my only transportation, and later as entertainment transportation. But when I got the Katana...

I'm a little older now, so I tend to pretty much drive the speed limit and don't have a desire to go fast like I used to. Yes, I broke traffic laws regularly on both bikes (I was young), but it's fun. It's an adrenaline rush--pretty much a drug. The first time I went over 100 MPH on a bike I almost puked when I was done from the adrenaline. Later on, on the Katana, I would do 120 MPH--just to cruise; it was like driving 60 MPH in a car because the handling and braking is so good. Didn't think twice about it. And that bike saw the high side of 160 MPH on a couple occasions.

I remember about 15 years ago, there was some hubbub up in Chicago because a couple guys got busted doing 140 MPH up Lakeshore Drive on their crotch rockets. So much hand wringing on talk radio about it I wanted to puke. Most people couldn't conceive of going THAT fast, especially on DONORCYCLE! Clearly, those people had never ridden a sport bike. Pretty much everyone I know who has ever owned a sport bike has not only exceeded triple digits, but gone 140, 150, 160 MPH. Mostly males 18-34, of course...

Now I have an old street bike sitting in the garage awaiting its turn on the project list. I would cruise on it, and probably ride it to/from work, but no desire to get it out and really open it up.

[Mike Hollingsworth]

I miss my 911.

[James Baker SD]

What can a sports do that a normal car can't do? Legally, you still still accelerate on a freeway on-ramp with a few G's throwing you into your seat. You can have a ball driving up to Lick Observatory east of San Jose, not slowing on the curves knowing your car won't flip or side off the road. A nice winding mountain road can be great fun. In fact, my first ride in an RX-7 was as a passenger going up the road to Mt. Wilson observatory near Pasadena. Driver was observatory staff who drove the road every day and felt very comfortable on it. I have camcorder footage of our speedometer at 120 MPH on the winding road. Maybe stupid, but I survived it, better than any roller coaster, and I fell in love with the RX-7 that day.

[Rich Engelhardt]

No, you can say more than that. Why WOW? Really, what did it do that your car didn't do?As the old adage goes, "If you have to ask the price, you can't afford it"....

If you have to ask "What's different", there's really no way to convey to you what the big deal is about getting into a sports car and driving some twists and turns.

About as close as I came was owning a 1969 MGB.
While the MGB and the 911 are worlds apart in the performance category, when it comes to driving, they are both from the same side of the tracks.

I took my two kids from Cleveland Ohio to Florida once in the MGB for a vacation. We put on 500/600 miles a day driving. Not once during the whole week we were gone and driving those long days did I ever feel tired. The MGB had miles of legroom and the close to the ground ride just added to the experience.
I made a repeat of that trip couple years prior in my 1972 Pontiac LeMans. At the end of every day, I felt like I'd been beaten up.


I just can't image how a Porsche could feel different than any other decent handling car.The reason why is - - you never drove one.
Until you drive one and have some sense of reference, then trying to explain it is like trying to describe the color red to a blind person....

[Malcolm Schweizer]

I have to park my Jeep Liberty with the driver's door butted up to a wall and climb out the passenger side. The Liberty only has a manual key lock on the driver's side. The passenger side and tailgate don't have keyholes. If my battery dies, I will have to tow it away from the wall to get in! (One way street, so parking the other way is not an option.)

[John K Jordan]

I drove a buddy's Boxter "S" model on winding roads across the mountain this afternoon - oh my, how that thing handles. The steering was perfect and the thing felt like it was gripping the pavement. I think he said it's 300 hp.

JKJ

[Kev Williams]

I've always had FAST cars, but they weren't "SPORTS" cars.. '67 Dodge Coronet R/T 440 Magnum Auto trans; '70 Coronet R/T, 440 sixpac, slapstick 4-speed, 4:10 gears- so much torque for the day that only racing slicks would stick to the road, the old L-60/15's would just spin like they were greased... Had a '56 F-100 with a 390 cop car engine fitted with home-made headers and a bunch of 428 Cobra Jet parts- if only I could've steered the thing... ;) .. Had a '76 Firebird Formula (eh), an '84 Corvette (more eh, worst one ever built), an '84 Buick T-Type turbo V6 (that would beat the Corvette in a drag race), and the wife has two Mustang GT Convertibles, an '89 with the 5.0/automatic for her 40th birthday, and the 2013 I got her last year for her 60th.

THAT all said-- If you're not into performance cars, then you will never understand them, simply because you don't care to. Totally understood. Kinda like the tools analogy, which I do in reverse: I could buy Dewalt stuff, but I can buy 4 of the same thing at Harbor Freight for less money, and I actually get pretty good service from HF stuff-- which is EXACTLY WHY folks not into performance cars see no particular use for them!

BUT- The Corvette being the closest thing to a sports car I ever owned, and the 2013 Mustang isn't far behind---I just gotta say, there's something about making a right turn at 45 mph that's just plain exhilarating! :D But, like I said, I'm not all that into twisty driving, fast right turns does it for me! ;)

But for sheer Let's Go, this new Mustang... Wow! sometimes I find it hard to believe that any teenager with ok parents can just buy one of these things... 420 hp on tap, the Coyote 5.0 redlines at 7000 rpm, and that happens at 38 mph...Think about that for a moment-- granny gear in a 420hp Mustang with tires that will actually stick to the road, factory 'everyman' car. It is SO hard not to stomp on the pedal whenever possible. Actually, half throttle is tough to do in regular driving

I have the average MPG on the meter down to 13.8- and the smile on my face whenever I drive this car is worth every cent I pay for gas... :)

It's a shame that those who have no use for high performance will never know what that smile feels like !
http://www.engraver1.com/gifs/gears.gif

[Michael Dye]

What, you forget to read a road map? Yet another of the entitlement generation that haven't taught themselves to survive life's shortfalls. You know, I've been fortunate enough to own Porsches, Ferraris, Mercedes Benz, and cars/trucks from every current US manufacturer as well as some not so current. Let it be said that until you've had the pleasure to own and work on a German car, you don't know what a "real" drivers car is. Oh, by the way, my current toy, which I've owned since new, is a '68 GT350 convertible. Love that car.

[Bruce Wrenn]

The Kia has a "drive by wire" gas pedal. Most cars now use this system, instead of a cable between gas peddle and throttle . Wife's 2006 Suzuki (drive by wire), when battery is replaced requires that mass air flow sensor be cleaned. Some VW products, if battery is disconnected for more than a few minutes, require a $200+ trip to dealer (tow truck not included) for brains to be reprogramed.

[Keith Westfall]

Why wouldn't she turn off the key? Am I missing something?

[Mike Cutler]

Some VW products, if battery is disconnected for more than a few minutes, require a $200+ trip to dealer (tow truck not included) for brains to be reprogramed.

This seemed to be a consistent feature for many european cars for a few years. BMW terms it "Registering the Battery".
There are aftermarket interface devices and programs that can access the system coding and do this for you, to keep you out of the dealership. Some are run off an App loaded on a smartphone and require only the correct OBDII port interface adapter cable, and you could do it anywhere.
If you own a newer model import, you really should have access to the coding anyway. There are times that you may need to "register" a newly installed component so that he car will see it and use it.

[Malcolm McLeod]

Try '83 944 in the Ozark twisties on a sunny fall day. And acceleration was NOT it's forte. ...Sharp chisel? Meh. (Ya generally gotta go 'clothing optional' to have this much fun.)

Like more recent vintages? Just test drove the new Jag XE R-sport. Suspension is to die for and it's squat-and-grunt-factor is considerable - with a 340hp supercharged V6. AND IT'S A SEDAN! We'll have to see how Tata's cash infusion will impact Jag's legendary lack of reliability.

[John K Jordan]

... The Corvette being the closest thing to a sports car I ever owned, ...

I still kick myself severely when I think of the co-worker in the early '70s who offered me his white late 60s-something Corvette for $1500. I couldn't possibly afford $1500 back then. It had an oil leak and he was ready to dump it. Spotless inside, he never drove it without spreading newspapers on the floor for his feet.

JKJ

[Erik Loza]

My dream car is a Honda S2000 (though I might say Acura NSX if I had ever had the chance to drive an NSX, but I haven't yet). S2000 the closest thing to a real race car I have ever driven and unlike any of the German vehicles, you can actually work on it yourself. If we had a three-car garage, I would already own an S2000.

Our 2014 Mini Cooper-S is tons of fun but in my opinion, has too many bells and whistles. Also, I expectt it to break down some day and be expensive (like, dealership-only type repair) when it does. When that day comes, I will think to myself, "I told you so", to my wife. Of course, I'll never say that to her!

Erik

[Bruce Volden]

Germany, 1973.
A Dr. friend of mine in Baumholder ask if I wanted to take a ride in his new Porsche. Well heck YEAH!!
Hit the autobahn and 160 mph! NEVER been so scared in my life!!!! Never doing that again.

Bruce

[Rod Sheridan]

I have a 2013 BMW bike, it has CANBUS to control everything.

Everything is run by onboard computers, it's an incredible vehicle except mine has a problem the dealer can't find.

Every few months the computer turns something on and drains the battery to 3 volts.

The initial suspect was that I was using a non BMW GPS on the bike, connected to the switched accessory socket.

That theory was discarded when the bike did it again when the GPS was with me in Calgary and the bike was home in Toronto.

My wife has the same bike, no issues, talking to other owners it's a problem for some, not for others.........Rod.

[Chris Padilla]

I drove a 993 or maybe 996 several years ago once for a few minutes a few miles. Having never driven such a sports car, I found it incredibly stiff and uncomfortable and noisy but incredibly responsive. Since then I've found comfort and sport in 5-series BMWs but now that those are topping 70-80k, I'm liking the 3-series and currently leasing a 2014 335i. Plans are to do an ED (European Delivery) of a 2017 335i next summer but we'll see if that pans out.

[Kev Williams]

About fly-by-wire cars and whatnot (my 26,000# diesel pusher motorhome is fly-by-wire, which really bugs me!)...

It's bad enough that humans are generally in charge of controlling cars, but add in the fact that a computer is in secondary control, and it's a given something bad can happen.

And isn't it funny that these days, nearly every piece of machinery is REQUIRED to have a big red or yellow EMERGENCY STOP button....

Except the multi-ton rolling mobile projectiles we all drive every day....

[Steve Peterson]

Why wouldn't she turn off the key? Am I missing something?

The steering wheel would lock up and she might end up drifting into a pole or oncoming traffic before she could stop.

Steve

[Kevin Nathanson]

Suffice it to say that a mechanical throttle can have failure modes with the same results as the aforementioned drive-by-wire kind. A personal story; we can pick off the sports car rant and throttle rant in one sell fwoop:

2:45am - driving from downtown SF back to home in Palo Alto, with my girlfriend dosing in the passenger seat. The car: 1995 BMW M3. Stage III Dinan supercharged. 354 HP. 0-60 = 4.7. Dinan modified ECU to disable the BMW top speed limiter of 155 from the factory. Instead, this car will go to redline in fifth gear = 179mph. You know, for those times when you're really in a hurry...

Traffic is light; I'll just kick on the cruise control at 72mph or so and enjoy driving on a Bay Area highway at double digit speeds—Bay Area readers understand the novelty there.

Cruise control engages. In the same way that a bunker-buster bomb goes 'pop'. Cruise control has decided that the actual speed needs a '1' inserted in front of the value that I selected. Did I mention that the car had 354hp?

Data point: All those folks who say that the brakes can stop the car at full throttle? Not so much.

Now, I do not panic; I can handle this. I am actually a real race car driver, with four competition licenses etc., and I have a fairly large amount of knowledge when it comes to the electro-mechanical componentry of an automobile. I have gone this fast in a car before. Granted, it wasn't on an open public highway, and all the cars I was in had six-point harnesses and roll cages and on-board fire extinguishers and KILL SWITCHES. (I'm sorry, was I shouting there?)

OK. brakes are not working, although the smell of brake asbestos combined with clutch asbestos creates an interesting bouquet.

Aren't the brakes supposed to immediately kill the cruise control? I choose to ponder that matter a little later.

Foot in on the clutch. I do NOT recommend testing a rev limiter this way. Especially the modified Dinan limiter that goes up to 7500 RPM. Nevertheless, that works, although the ensuing cacophony DOES wake up my passenger in a not-so-gentle manner. Suffice it to say she is not happy.

After telling her that I'm 'a little busy here; please scream later', we go to step 2: Shut off the engine.

This is the point at which one wants to understand with GREAT certainty the correct key position to kill the ignition, but not lock the steering column or kill the headlights. I actually ponder that for a non-second, and determine that one click toward me should do the trick.

And indeed it does. Except for the steering part. Now, technically, the column did NOT lock. However at about a buck-forty-five (last time I looked) when one decides to forego the use of the power steering pump, the effect in the cockpit is almost indistinguishable from a mechanical lock.

While 101 is pretty straight, it is not RUNWAY straight, hence steering is one of the controls that comes in handy, especially if you are dealing with lane-integrity challenges, which you tend to encounter, even late at night, when you are going approximately 2.3 times the speed limit. Suffice it to say that closing rates offer some driving challenges.

So, we embark on the dance of ignition back on in Neutral; engine INSTANTLY revs to 7500rpm, steer, shut it off, brake until you need to steer again, turn it back on, RPM to 7500, rinse, repeat... Until finally we can coast to a stop on the left shoulder.

OK... That was fun.

Of course, the CHP who pulled up behind me 1 minute later did not share my definition of 'fun'. At least he DID understand how cars work, and when I turned the car on and it, once again, with my foot completely off the gas, attained 7500 RPM instantly, he understood that my story was probably true.

He was about to call a tow truck, when I decided to look under the hood and see if there was anything that could be done. Not surprisingly, the throttle body was indeed jammed wide open. Throwing caution to the wind—hey, it wasn't like I was going to break it worse or something—I gave a mighty yank on the throttle cable, and it broke free and snapped shut.

And that's why sports cars are better.

K

[Malcolm McLeod]

Priceless story, well told!!


... with my girlfriend dosing in the passenger seat. ...INSTANTLY revs to 7500rpm...

Two quick questions: 1. Is she still your girlfriend? 2. What's redline on your pulse?

[Kevin Nathanson]

Priceless story, well told!!



Two quick questions: 1. Is she still your girlfriend? 2. What's redline on your pulse?


1. No. No she is not. I am now married, and the woman I am married to would have found it exhilarating to be going that fast and would not have screamed. She drives a Miata.

2. Not as high as it used to be. Each one of these types of 'events' seems to take a cumulative effect. This one ranks right below three parachute malfunctions and right above backing a formula Mazda up the dirt embankment outside of turn 1 at Sears Point/Sonoma at ~110mph. (See previous note regarding roll cage, harness, et al.)

K

[Tom Stenzel]

I'm trying to stay out of this. But I remember when my Chevy Cavalier decided to accelerate on its own. Luckily the mighty pushrod 4 it had made as much horsepower as a riding mower and was a bit easier to control. When that happened it drove me to have vehicles with manual transmission for the next 25 years. Now that I'm disabled I can't drive a stick anymore and it really bugs me.

Remember when the Toyota went out of control with the California Highway cop at the wheel and ended up getting killed? The question that absolutely no one asked was- What would have happened if the car had a manual transmission? I can answer that: The engine may have wrecked but so what? No one would have been hurt.

Remember, when we talk about how things are computer controlled, the computer does nothing. It's some nameless programmer who you never met, isn't in the car, never faced the situation you're in but has made all the driving and control decisions for you.

Kevin, I'm glad your story had a reasonably happy ending. But what could you have done if the car had an automatic transmission? Toyota had set theirs up so it wouldn't go into neutral "to protect the drivetrain". Just wonderful. Not all of these controls are bad. But blind acceptance of controls the driver is only dimly aware of? No, I don't like it.

-Tom

[Frederick Skelly]

Great story Kevin! Now you have to post one about parachute malfunctions! :D

[Roger Feeley]

I had a 1990 Ford Ranger that would accelerate unexpectedly. Ford thought it was the cruise control and replaced it. I found out later that it was the carpet (bought from Ford) causing the throttle pedal to get stuck. The pedal was at exactly the right height above the carpet. I saw later that there was some sort of recall over sticking throttles and wondered if it was all carpets.

[Kevin Nathanson]

Great story Kevin! Now you have to post one about parachute malfunctions! :D

I'll wait until someone starts a thread about electronic vs. mechanical parachutes...

Baaaack in MY daaaay....

K

[Chris Padilla]

Now had you been on I-280 instead of US-101, it would have been more fun and probably no CHP.... :)

[Rich Engelhardt]

Great story Kevin! Now you have to post one about parachute malfunctions! :DSpeaking of which....
First time I jumped, they gave us an 8 hour class on how to do it.
All morning long we practiced how to push off from the wing & how to do a PLF. (parachute landing fall)
Everyone was having fun and joking around and we were all smiles and laughs.

When we broke for lunch, the instructor told us, "When you come back, we'll spend the afternoon going over what to do when things go wrong".

25 people turned silent and we all had the same look on our face of - "Go wrong? Nothing goes wrong! Why would anything go wrong? I'm not sure I like the sound of "go wrong". No - I'm POSITIVE I don't like the sound of "go wrong".
LOL! :D :D

IIRC, everyone came back after lunch.

[Wade Lippman]

Speaking of which....
First time I jumped, they gave us an 8 hour class on how to do it.
All morning long we practiced how to push off from the wing & how to do a PLF. (parachute landing fall)
Everyone was having fun and joking around and we were all smiles and laughs.

When we broke for lunch, the instructor told us, "When you come back, we'll spend the afternoon going over what to do when things go wrong".

25 people turned silent and we all had the same look on our face of - "Go wrong? Nothing goes wrong! Why would anything go wrong? I'm not sure I like the sound of "go wrong". No - I'm POSITIVE I don't like the sound of "go wrong".


Just before my first jump another person in my group got out under the wing and then refused to either jump or come back into the plane. After a while he lost his grip and just fell into the woods without doing anything at all. He broke his ankle. I was reassured that it was pretty safe if he could do everything wrong and just break an ankle.
On my second jump my chute got tangled up. If it was my first jump I don't know what would have happened, but as a veteran I just untangled it and all was well.

ANYHOW... I asked a friend who used to race about this issue of sports cars. He said that they are a completely different experience that what I have had, but didn't think a responsible person on public roads would ever push a sports car hard enough to know the difference.

[Art Mann]

I have no desire to waste my time explaining something to someone which they either already know (as I suspect) or who have never noticed the difference in the properties of different 4 wheeled vehicles. You might as well ask what is the difference between a sports car and a side by side 4 wheeler.

All you are really doing is saying in an obscured fashion that people who buy sports cars are wasting their money. Why not just make that statement plainly and be done with it?


If you can't explain the difference, you don't know the difference.