Favorite quotes

[Pat Barry]

Here is a quick video of a movie quote (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQCU36pkH7c) I really like. I got reminded of it earlier today. Enjoy. Anyone else have some good quotes?

"Everyone in this room is now dumber for having heard you"

[Mark Blatter]

Here are a couple of mine.

"You just keep thinking Butch. That's what your good at."

Butch: "Listen, I don't mean to be a sore loser but when it's done if I'm dead. Kill him.'
Sundance: 'Love to."

And of course;

'We're going to need a bigger boat.'

[Pat Barry]

Here's another classic moment (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMRrNY0pxfM)

"So you're telling me there's a chance.... Yeah!"

[Chris Damm]

Why don't we have the time to do it right but have the time to do it over?

[Brian Tymchak]

..It comes down to a simple choice, really.... Get busy living, or get busy dying..

[Frederick Skelly]

"It's no use saying 'we are doing our best.' You have GOT to succeed at what needs doing."
(Reputed to be from Churchill, at the height of The Battle of Brittain)

"When a company boasts of it's integrity, or a woman of her virtue, avoid the former and cultivate the latter."
(Unknown)

Edit: I probably used the wrong quotation marks, but you get the idea. ;)

[Bill Huber]

One of the best "What we've got here is... failure to communicate"

Now I use that one a lot.....:)

[Malcolm Schweizer]

We're all here because we're not all there.

[David Ragan]

"Chance favors the prepared mind"

Louis Pasteur

[Kent A Bathurst]

"No matter where you go, there you are." - Buckaroo Banzai

"Face it Flounder - you messed up - you trusted us." - Otter


And - my favorite movie line of all time: "Hey, Boo!" - Scout Finch

[Scott Shepherd]

"Surely you can't be serious."

"I am serious...and don't call me Shirley."

[Shawn Pixley]

I collect quotes so I have a lot of them. Here are three of my favorites.

"either you're part of the problem, part of the solution or just part of the landscape" -Sam (Ronin)
"the outcome of successful planning always looks like luck, to saps" -Continental Op
"make the problem as simple as possible, but no simpler" -corrallary to Occam's razor (often attributed to Einstein)

[Larry Browning]

Blazing Saddles has too many to pick out just one.... or even 10.
I started to add a few, but most have to be cleaned up a bit or are not PC enough to be quoted here.

So if you have seen this movie, you know what I'm talking about, and if you haven't seen it, you really need to add it to your must see list.

[Larry Browning]

Quotes, that I use quite often. I have no idea who said them (maybe it was me!)
"It's easy to make something complicated, It's hard to make something simple."

"Well, let me say this, about that"

"You can have it Quick, you can have it good, you can have it cheap. Pick two."

" I spend too much time in the SMC off topic forum while I'm at work"

[Ken Fitzgerald]

One of my favorites can't be posted here due to the TOSs but if you have seen the uncut version of "The Outlaw - Josey Wales" it deals with being intentionally misled and insulting one's intelligence. It happens just before the Gatlin guns go to work.

One my father often used... "There are 3 things a man should never discuss...politics, religion or another man's wife."

[Jeff Monson]

My dads favorite when we were kids.

"If I have to get up out of this chair it wont be for nothing"

[Mike Null]

"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity".--Darrel Royal, football coach

[Dave Anderson NH]

Whether you think you can or you can't....you're right.

[Gordon Eyre]

"Go ahead, make my day"

"This above all, to thine own self be true and it follows as the night the day thou canst not then be false to any man". Shakespeare

"Paint a picture on your mind of what you want to be and that is what you are."

[Peter Kelly]

"There is no peace," says the Lord, "for the wicked."
–Isaiah 48:22

"The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything."
–Oscar Wilde

[Brian Hale]

Hey, you, get off of my cloud

[Montgomery Scott]

“And he gave it for his opinion, "that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together.” Gulliver's Travels

'I hate a Roman named Status Quo!' he said to me. 'Stuff your eyes with wonder,' he said, 'live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. Ask no guarantees, ask for no security, there never was such an animal. And if there were, it would be related to the great sloth which hangs upside down in a tree all day every day, sleeping its life away. To hell with that,' he said, 'shake the tree and knock the great sloth down on his ass.' Fahrenheit 451

[Karl Andersson]

“…the newspaperssaid, ‘Indians vow to endeavor to persevere.’ We thought about it for a long time; ‘Endeavor to persevere.’… And whenwe had thought about it long enough, we declared war on the Union.” Lone Watie

"Check out the big brain on Brad”. Jules

[Wade Lippman]

One of the best "What we've got here is... failure to communicate"

Now I use that one a lot.....:)

Oh, so close!

"What we've got here is... failure to communicate bilingually."
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/79/79qcamp.phtml

[Mike Henderson]

I remember the TV show "Fung Fu". This is from one of the episodes:

Master Po (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0525601/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): [after easily defeating the boy in combat] Ha, ha, never assume because a man has no eyes he cannot see. Close your eyes. What do you hear?
Young Caine (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0672673/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): I hear the water, I hear the birds.
Master Po (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0525601/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): Do you hear your own heartbeat?
Young Caine (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0672673/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): No.
Master Po (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0525601/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): Do you hear the grasshopper that is at your feet?
Young Caine (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0672673/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): [looking down and seeing the insect] Old man, how is it that you hear these things?
Master Po (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0525601/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): Young man, how is it that you do not?

Mike

[Pat Barry]

From Mars Attacks! "I want the people to know that they still have 2 out of 3 branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad."

[Brett Luna]

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. — Inigo Montoya, in the movie, The Princess Bride.

Rudy, you can't have no idea how little I care. — Monte Walsh, in the movie, Monte Walsh

Be very, very careful what you put into that head, because you will never, ever get it out. — attributed to Cardinal Thomas Wolsey (c. 1473–1530)

Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations,
or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence. — John Adams (1735–1826)

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe. — Carl Sagan, in the book Cosmos

[Brian W Smith]

In the finish dept..........."Move the dry spot around".One of my alltime favs.It refers to how you spray,and the overlap.

Another...."A fly may sting a stately horse and make it wince,but one is still a stately horse,and the other is still a fly".

In M/C world....."Was faster than you,just before I wrecked".WRT;racing/riding in the wet

[Jim Koepke]

This is just a few of my collection of quotations. Many great and even unknown people have said remarkable things.


"Anyone who isn't totally confused just doesn't understand the situation." - Edward Murrow


"Don't be so humble - you are not that great." - Golda Meir


"His ignorance is encyclopedic" - Abba Eban


"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid." - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard


"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo Galilei


"Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right." - Henry Ford


"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." - Martin Luther King Jr.


"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems." - Paul Erdos


"Everybody pities the weak; jealousy you have to earn." - Arnold Schwarzenegger


"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." - Napoleon Bonaparte

"If you are going through hell, keep going." - Sir Winston Churchill


"I have not failed. I've merely found 2000 ways that don't work." - Thomas Alva Edison


"Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact." - George Eliot


"Black holes are where God divided by zero." - Steven Wright


"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." - Walt Disney


"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true." - James Branch Cabell


"It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan


"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life." - Frank Zappa


"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti


"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me." - Alice Roosevelt Longworth


"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." - Oscar Wilde


"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." - General George Patton


"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." - Mae West


"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson


"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Sir Winston Churchill


"I worship the quicksand he walks in." - Art Buchwald

Then there is my tag line...

jtk

[Charlie Barnes]

"An honest man's pillow is his peace of mind" - John Mellencamp

[Bert Kemp]

has to be Abbott and Costello yes? No
"Surely you can't be serious."

"I am serious...and don't call me Shirley."

[Keith Westfall]

Airplane - Leslie Neilson...

[Moses Yoder]

Edit: I probably used the wrong quotation marks, but you get the idea. ;)

It's about 4 am here, woke up and checking my Garmin download and I laughed out loud.

[Moses Yoder]

One that will live forever in our family, spoken by my father about 20 years ago, repeated several times over the years. "They're not ignorant; they just don't know any better."

We tried several times to explain it to him and then just gave up and agreed.

[Mike Cutler]

"The sin punishes itself." Unknown

"Only three things happen when you throw the football, and two of them are bad." Attributed to Woody Hayes

[David Ragan]

"Simple is not spelled E-A-S-Y"
anonymous

[David Ragan]

Whether you think you can or you can't....you're right.
Henry Ford I believe

[David Ragan]

Hey, you, get off of my cloud
Do we need to say that who this is attributed to?

[Alan Rutherford]

"Anything worth doing is worth overdoing." - Me

[Edit: After posting this, I Googled the quote and find it attributed to Mick Jagger. He probably never heard me say it and if he wants credit for it, he can have it as long as he shares it with me. I never heard him say it, either. I'm older than he is and I've been using it a long time. Doesn't mean I've overdone as many things as I wish I had.]

[Mike Null]

The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.

Socrates 469-399 BC

[Harold Burrell]

"I will come again." - Jesus

[Joe Tilson]

"Watch This!" (very famous last words)

"yeah right"

Very good Harold!

[Bob Turkovich]

Blazing Saddles has too many to pick out just one.... or even 10.
I started to add a few, but most have to be cleaned up a bit or are not PC enough to be quoted here.

So if you have seen this movie, you know what I'm talking about, and if you haven't seen it, you really need to add it to your must see list.

"Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges."

Ah, yes! Blazing Saddles...the only movie I ever paid twice to watch. It was also the first date with my eventual wife of 37 years. (Must've been impressive, huh?):p

What I didn't know (until about a year ago) is that it was a paraphrase from The Treasure of the Sierra Madre which I had never seen. A couple of months ago I was channel-surfing and came upon an old B&W western. I wondered if it was the Sierra Madre. Sure enough, within a couple of the minutes, there was the line.

I liked the Blazing Saddles version better.

[Von Bickley]

His elevator doesn't go all the way.

He's got a hole in his screen door.

You can't fix stupid.

All the duct tape can't fix stupid.

Old age ain't for sissies.

[Frederick Skelly]

The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.

Socrates 469-399 BC

Great one. More proof that there's really nothing new in the world.

[Jim Koepke]

"Watch This!" (very famous last words)



Along with, "hey come look what I can do!"

jtk

[Steve Kinnaird]

"Overthinking, the art of creating problems that weren't ever there!"

[Steve Kinnaird]

That's like the difference between a fairy tale up north and down south.

Up North they start out with, "Once upon a time....."
Down South they start out with, "You'all ain't gonna believe this........"

[David Ragan]

"Overthinking, the art of creating problems that weren't ever there!"

"Better is the enemy of the best"

[Michael Weber]

Everyone is ignorant. Just in different areas.
"Some days you just can't get rid of a real bomb." 60's batman TV series.

[Brian Hale]

Some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints

Stop harshing my mellow

That kind of stupid should hurt

I feel like I'm living in the logic free zone

Sliding down the razor blade of life

[Walter Plummer]

From the tv show MASH. Burns and Houlihan want a carved bust of Col. Potter and ask the carver to see his work. He hands them a block of wood and says "used to be round" Burns: "That's a 2x4" Carver: "Thank You"

[Steve Kinnaird]

Common sense is so rare these days it should be considered as a super power!

[Pat Barry]

Ask not..what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for you country. JFK 1961

[Ken Fitzgerald]

He'll regret it till his dying day, if ever he lives that long.

[Peter Kelly]

I feel like I'm living in the logic free zoneStory of my work life.

[Brian Ashton]

Great one. More proof that there's really nothing new in the world.


or as it's said: The more things change the more they stay the same

[Brian Ashton]

Some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints
I feel like I'm living in the logic free zone



One related I like and have used: do you have to work at being stupid, or do you come by it honestly?

[Kent A Bathurst]

I have a plan.

My plan is to live forever.

So far, so good.

[Dan Hunkele]

Common sense isn't so common anymore

[ken masoumi]

"
there are people dying now that never died before"
Henry Alexanderson, My wife's grandfather.

[John Pratt]

When talking about the stupidity of people in society; "You must always remember that half the population has an IQ of less than 100." ~ attributed to one of my college professors

"There is usually only a limited amount of damage that can be done by dull or stupid people. For creating a truly monumental disaster, you need people with high IQs." ~ Thomas Sowell

[Ole Anderson]

From my dad 50 years ago: "Honesty is the best politics" so true it can't be original. I Googled it; 1933 Laurel and Hardy Movie, Sons of the Desert. Which reminded me one that often applies to my predicaments: "Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into."

And my favorite: "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Attributed most commonly to Edmund Burke.

[Eric DeSilva]

Along with, "hey come look what I can do!"

jtk

I thought it was along with "Hold my beer..."

[Eric DeSilva]

“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.”

- Harlan Ellison

[Scott Shepherd]

You guys must be up North. Everyone down here knows, it's "Hey Y'all, watch this" :D

[Frederick Skelly]

You guys must be up North. Everyone down here knows, it's "Hey Y'all, watch this" :D

You're killin me Scott. I just spat coffee all over the monitor. :) I got a flashback to a news story a few years ago about two drunk guys in Georgia playing catch with a live rattlesnake. One of them was quoted as saying exactly that!

[Mark Blatter]

My favorite line from employee reviews;

"Some where a village is missing their idiot, and we found him.'

[Kevin Bourque]

"GET OFF MY LAWN !!! "
-Clint Eastwood

[Jim Koepke]

My favorite line from employee reviews;

"The knowledge he brings to this job has the depth of a parking lot puddle."

Or when a person calling a former employer asking about a prospective applicant hears, "if you can get him to work for you, you will be most fortunate." It usually means this applicant's paperwork should be placed in the circular file, aka waste basket.

jtk

[Jim Koepke]

Almost forgot one of my all time favorites:

“He who works with his hands is a laborer.
He who works with his hands and his head is a craftsman.
He who works with his hands and his head and his heart is an artist.”


―Saint Francis of Assisi

[Andrew Hughes]

My favorite quote that's told to newcomers trying to stay sober.
Hang around the barbershop long enough your bound to get a hair cut!

[Lee Schierer]

Some of my favorite quotes:

"Lead, follow or get out of the way." Thomas Paine

But of the best leaders, when the job is done, the task accomplished, the people will say,
“We have done this ourselves.” Lao-Tzu

"You win some, you lose some, some are rained out and others your can't even get tickets for." My Dad

[Mel Fulks]

Many answers to modern problems could come from COMBINING old ones with new ones. Just thought of one! "Global warming threatens us,....give me a place to stand and a lever long enough and I will move the earth!"

[ron david]

….”But when it comes to the genuine object,
something of such undeniable value that a man
wants to have it always with him – the
perfection of form announces that it is from the
hand of a master.”


Murasaki Shikibu, The Tale of Genji,
first quarter of the 11th century
E.G. Seidensticker, translater, 1987.


ron

[Frederick Skelly]

….”But when it comes to the genuine object,
something of such undeniable value that a man
wants to have it always with him – the
perfection of form announces that it is from the
hand of a master.”


Murasaki Shikibu, The Tale of Genji,
first quarter of the 11th century
E.G. Seidensticker, translater, 1987.


ron


Wow! That pretty much sums it up, doesn't it? I may have to steal that for my "signature" line. (Not that I'd qualify by any stretch, but it's a wonderful thing to aspire to, isn't it?) Thanks Ron.

[Frederick Skelly]

I heard a good one today. Two technical guys were arguing about how to do something - one wanted a simple solution and the other wanted a fancy solution. The one who wanted to keep it simple finally said: "Joe, the problem here is that I am a Plumber and you are a Poet."

[Julie Moriarty]

"You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else." - Winston Churchill

Something I came up with in the process of raising children, "Do what you have to do so you can do what you want to do." They heard that many times.

[John A langley]

At 73 years old, when people ask me to build stuff I tell them everybody is trying to work me into a late grave because it's too late for an early grave.

[Jerry Thompson]

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. Oscar Wilde

[Jerome Stanek]

may the swartz be with you
I've got to get me one of these

[Bert Kemp]

Demi Moore from GI Jane you know the one:D

[Bert Kemp]

I don't know look at the last 2 elections


When talking about the stupidity of people in society; "You must always remember that half the population has an IQ of less than 100." ~ attributed to one of my college professors

"There is usually only a limited amount of damage that can be done by dull or stupid people. For creating a truly monumental disaster, you need people with high IQs." ~ Thomas Sowell

[Bert Kemp]

I wish common sense was more common!


Common sense is so rare these days it should be considered as a super power!

[Joe Kieve]

I love Will Rogers. Two of my favorites quotes of his:

"You cannot borrow yourself out of debt"
"Being poor is a problem but being rich ain't the answer"

[Rich Engelhardt]

“Musical innovation is full of danger to the State, for when modes of music change, the fundamental laws of the State always change with them.”
― Plato (http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/879.Plato), The Republic (http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1625515)

Pretty amazing, considering it's nearly 2500 years old. Those of us old enough to have lived through the birth of Rock and Roll, the British invasion and the protest songs of the 60's - - and watched the laws & society follow those changes can attest to how valid the statement is.

Another of my favorites...

"Pretty bold talk for a one eyed fat man"....Robert Duvall - True Grit.

[Scott Shepherd]

One that's stuck with me for a long time came from a boss of mine. There was an old timer that was a hack, more or less, but he thought he knew everything and he was the best. The boss knew a lot more than he did. The boss told him to do something a certain way and came back later to find the old guy doing it his own way. The boss stopped him and told him that he had been told exactly how he wanted it done and was expected to do it that way.

The old guy said "I've got 20 years experience doing this"(implying the boss didn't know what he was talking about), to which the boss said "No, you've got 1 year's experience 20 times" (implying he hadn't progressed in those 20 years).

[ron david]

another that gets used frequently, "that's good enough". I remembered that I used it when I was a kid and the old man smacked me across the side of the head. He said, " it is either good or it is not".
ron

[ron david]

here is 3 more from the old man and the first 2 were more than likely aimed for me when I was a kid.
"little boys are better seen than heard"
"if the organ grinder is speaking , he doesn't expect the monkey to but in"
and the next is one that I heard him speak to someone one day
" I've p----d in the fire and have seen better men than you come out in steam".
If he was alive he would be 116 this year but haven't seen him for 50
ron

[Kent A Bathurst]

here is 3 more from the old man and the first 2 were more than likely aimed for me when I was a kid.
"little boys are better seen than heard"
"if the organ grinder is speaking , he doesn't expect the monkey to but in"
and the next is one that I heard him speak to someone one day
" I've p----d in the fire and have seen better men than you come out in steam".
If he was alive he would be 116 this year but haven't seen him for 50
ron

well, I like him anyway!!

[John K Jordan]

This may be old but is a first for me, on the WoodCraft web site today:

"Just a heads up during this hunting season... the SawStop makes a terrible meat saw."

[Jerome Stanek]

Some days you get the elevator and some days you get the shaft

[William Payer]

"He's a couple of french fries short of a happy meal"

[Ole Anderson]

This may be old but is a first for me, on the WoodCraft web site today:

"Just a heads up during this hunting season... the SawStop makes a terrible meat saw."

My dad actually used an old TS to cut up a deer one year, yes, it made a terrible mess...

[Rod Sheridan]

Along with, "hey come look what I can do!"

jtk

Not to mention "Hold my beer".

Many great catastrophes start with " watch this, hold my beer".................Rod.

[Peter Kelly]

http://www.not-on-my-shift.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/486359657514032264_sw.jpg

[John K Jordan]

"Hey Y'all, watch this"

I said that myself once, right before ending up in a pile at the bottom of a 10' jump with pieces of my dirt bike on the ground around me. It was amazing fun right up to that point. That was almost 1/2 a century ago.

JKJ

[Phil Mueller]

"Forgiveness is between them and God...it's my job to arrange the meeting"
- Man on Fire

"Now what dirty scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch"
- WC Fields

[william watts]

" If the only tool you have is a hammer then every problem looks like nail." attributed to Mark Twain and others.

" I have never understood how a man honers himself by demeaning other people...." Gandhi.

See my tag line

[Patrick Walsh]

This really should be the company i work for company slogan.

Drives me outa my mind. I do my best to just not think about it as im not changing it.


Why don't we have the time to do it right but have the time to do it over?

[John Goodin]

I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.

Lloyd Dobler

[Frederick Skelly]

From a recent thread here on SMC.....

For working wood, we don't need to know how many inches it is to the moon.
Warren Mickley

You might as well be speaking Klingon because none of this makes any sense to me at all.
Pat Barry

[ron david]

this one though is my favorite at the bottom of the pictures, this was an ad for an exhibtion that Charmiam and myself had back in 2000 in Vancouver, B.C.
http://i908.photobucket.com/albums/ac281/padresag/Pendulum%20ad_zpsl0q3ugyg.jpg
ron