Every Serious woodworker needs....

[Bradley Gray]

More humor!

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[Bill White]

Problem is that I would leave part of my thumb behind. :)
Bill

[Rich Riddle]

Surprising that many folks don't know what to do with a real nail....so those guys in the cartoon would be safe. One contractor was furious at the store the other day when they were out of nails for his trim gun. He needed one stick to complete the job and said he was heading to another store to look. Would have been faster to hand nail.

[Brian Henderson]

There are an unfortunate number of woodworkers who think that owning the most expensive "status" tools makes them somehow better when it is the skill of the person using the tools and not the tools themselves that make the difference. There are a lot of people with more money than sense who think that owning the latest green tool, or owning the "safe" Saw Stop and then taking all the guards off of it, somehow makes them better people.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

[Larry Edgerton]

Wood?

I have always possessed a keen sense of the obvious...........

[Larry Edgerton]

Bradley, looks like a sense of humor is a rare commodity around here. If I had not developed a sense of humor I would be in a looney bin. I realized a long time ago that the world will not change when I am gone, and little has changed because I am here now, so I try not to get too serious.

Which would be why I do not have a track saw.:p

[Bradley Gray]

Larry at my age I am used to my jokes falling flat.
No track saw here either.

[Peter Quinn]

A broom? And glue. Yes, all you need is a broom and some glue! And maybe a dust pan....

[Larry Edgerton]

And my thermos........

[Bradley Gray]

Gotta have the thermos. Let me guess - it's one of those classic Stanleys.

[Bill McDermott]

...another serious woodworker who appreciates what it took to get it done. Although compliments about the color are always welcome too.

[Brian W Smith]

.....and a sense for irony.

[Bradley Gray]

This guitar player's gotta be a woodworker too:

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[Mel Fulks]

If that guitarist plucks and strums strings as well as he pulls them ...then he is one fine musician. Had tears welling up when I was jerked into a different story.

[Kevin Wolfe]

More humor!

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The more the better. Have to admit, this made me chuckle out loud in my office.

[John Seybold]

"And that's the only thing I need is *this*. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray... And this paddle game. - The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need... And this remote control. - The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need... And these matches. - The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball... And this lamp. - The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and that's all *I* need. And that's *all* I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one... I need this. - The paddle game and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches for sure. Well what are you looking at? What do you think I'm some kind of a jerk or something! - And this. That's all I need."

Steve Martin, in "The Jerk"

[Harold Weaver]

Hammer and vice grips! Oh, and let's not forget duct tape. Every shop needs these three, regardless if woodworking or not!

[russell lusthaus]

If it moves and it is not supposed to - duct tape. If is does not move and it is supposed to - WD-40.

[Allan Speers]

Every Serious woodworker needs.... (http://www.sawmillcreek.org/showthread.php?231678-Every-Serious-woodworker-needs) More free time.
Every Serious woodworker needs.... (http://www.sawmillcreek.org/showthread.php?231678-Every-Serious-woodworker-needs) A very understanding SWMBO !

[Ken Fitzgerald]

My wife has been stressing out over making decisions for her new kitchen we are building.

A cabinet maker was here. He and my wife were deciding how many, what, where and which. She was in tears a couple times. Finally he told this joke to lighten the mood:



An older man, a husband and father of 3, was on his deathbed. He asked one of his two sons to get a videographer as he wanted to videotape his last will and testament. The youngest son called a family friend who agreed to perform the service.

After getting reassurance that the camera was running the guy began.

"My oldest son, Tom, I want you to have the condos on the west side of town."

"My youngest son, Bill, I want you to have the apartments on the east side of town."

"My daughter, Linda, I want you to have the houses in the housing development on the north side of town."

"My wife, Sheila, I want you to have the businesses and industries on the south side of town."

With that he asked if the friend got it recorded and when he receive a confirmation, he expired.

As the family friend was putting away the video equipment he said, "I didn't know he had that many properties!"

The youngest son replied "He didn't. He was dividing up his paper route."

[Brett Luna]

http://www.brettluna.com/img/s6/v143/p1225319484-3.jpg

[Larry Edgerton]

This guitar player's gotta be a woodworker too:

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Bradley, you seriously had me with this one! I wanted to laugh but I was all choked up......

[rudy de haas]

The Little Book of Big Excuses: More Strategies and Techniques for Faking It

Paperback – May, 2007 by Addie Johnson

(Note: I have not read this, it's just the first hit google found on a search for words applicable to something I need more often than I care to admit: "book of excuses" )

[Don Orr]

Nailed it !

[Tom Walz]

About classic thermoses - where can I get a replacement glass insert for a classic Stanley?

I have stainless but this is my thermos from maybe 40 years ago and I like it.

[Mel Fulks]

They do sell the glass liners ,we have a hardware store in town that used to carry them. They usually cost more than a new thermos. Best bet is buy another used thermos at yard sale or junk shop. Around here that would cost 1 to 7 dollars. Easy to change out the liners.

[Rod Sheridan]

http://www.brettluna.com/img/s6/v143/p1225319484-3.jpg

Top post..................Well done!