Favorite Customer Conversations - Add Yours

[Ed Maloney]

Customer: Do you offer wholesale pricing on this item?
Me: Yes! How many would you like?
Customer: 2

[Scott Shepherd]

Me: When do you need it?
Customer: No hurry at all, a couple weeks is fine, I have no set date I need to have it by.
Me: Alright, give us about two weeks and we'll call you when it's ready.
Customer: Sounds great!

(next day)
Me: (Answering phone) Can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I was in there yesterday with a project, I just wanted to see if was ready for me to pick up.

[Gary Hair]

Good morning, Laser Image:

1 - So I've got really bad toenail fungus and want to know how much you charge?
2 - How much do you charge for tattoo removal?
3 - How much do you charge for engraving?

[Scott Shepherd]

Good morning, Laser Image:

1 - So I've got really bad toenail fungus and want to know how much you charge?
2 - How much do you charge for tattoo removal?
3 - How much do you charge for engraving?

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

[Ed Maloney]

I have had this conversation many times.

Customer: I will be ordering a lot more in the future if this works out.
Me: Sounds great!

Never heard back from any of them at all.

[Jiten Patel]

Morning,
Customer: I love your work and want xxx stationery suite, how much is it?
Me: With all your quantities etc the total comes to £7800
Customer: oooh thats quite a lot, I really love it...is there anyway you can do it for £300
Me: (static noise) you are (static) breaking (static) up (Click)!

Ed your one made me crack up! Hilarious!

[Chris DeGerolamo]

All the time: "How much does it cost to [insert completely nondescript custom one-off job]?

Bonus points: "I have the artwork; I'll send it in an e-mail." <sends e-mail> Artwork is a thumbnail.

[Ross Moshinsky]

Customer: I made a mistake. Can you fix it?
Me: Sorry, I cannot in this case. I can replace it for you for (normally much less than the original price).
Customer: You can't just fix it?

My favorite was a customer from a few weeks ago. They ordered some solid brass letters for a plaque he and his son were building. Well, they really needed plastic 1/8" thick letters if they wanted to match up to a previous order. Would have saved him about $600-700 I believe. I also told them the process of how to do the job on at least 5 separate occasions. He either didn't want to listen or didn't get it at all. I really hope it works out for them but doing a 325 plate perpetual plaque probably isn't the best idea for an Eagle Scout project.

[Real Mercier]

" I have a lot of contacts in this field. If you do this for me (for nothing of course), it will generate a lot of business for you"

Real Mercier

[Mike Null]

"I'm doing a project for this charity as a donation. (today it was for the police wives association) I'll need some really sharp pricing or maybe you'd like to donate your services." I wouldn't so now what?

It never seems to occur to people that I might have my own charities or groups that I help out with low prices or free work. And I'm old enough and busy enough that I have very little patience for such people.

[Chris J Anderson]

Client: I'd like mine and fiance's name engraved onto this nice wooden spoon.
Me: No probs, write your names down on this piece of paper.
Me: Engrave as required.

Client on pickup of item (sheepishly): Thats not the correct spelling on fiancé's name.
Me: You wrote it down. OK, I'll buzz it off in the rotary, and start again. You write her name down again.
Me: Engrave as required, then leave item out for him to pick up over weekend.

Client phone call on weekend: Spelling is wrong again, (he's laughing by now) my Fiance will kill me, can you engrave again.
Me: Yes.
Me: Buzz off in rotary and engrave again. This time it was correct.

At least he laughed about it. Dunno how he'll go remembering anniversaries etc, he's in for a hell of a life !!!

[Kev Williams]

My company name is Williams & Sons Engraving. When people find it online or wherever, that's what they find.
Because I'd rather 'be myself' rather than all-business like, I always just answer the phone "Williams & Sons".

About 3 times a week, the first question I get from new callers is "Do you do engraving?"

But my favorite-est exchange was getting a phone call from a guy, all frantic, that went something like:
"I have a problem! I just bought 4000 frying pans from China, and I just found out before I can sell them
they have to say "made in China" on them! Can you do that??"
"Sure, do you have one I can look at?"
"Yeah, I'll be right over!"

The pans were quite small, STEEL not aluminum, maybe 4" in diameter, and there's no way to batch-engrave them. One-at-a-time job, which I explain.

"Ok, you have 4000 pans, I'll them for $5000, $1.25 each.
He turned white. I just killed his dream...
"Uh, I only paid $1000 for them!"
:confused: well...

[Keith Colson]

Them: if I bring a case of beer around will you discount the job?

Me, Yes!

haha

[Rodne Gold]

Customer : How much for 1000 of these to be made

Me: $20 a pop

Customer: I will take 5 .. thats $100

Me: 5 will cost you $50 a pop..thats $250

Customer : But Im going to take 1000 , the 5 are just the first order

me: Ok , pay $50 a pop for the 5 and when you order the 995 balance , we will credit you the difference

Customer has no answer for THAT!!!

[Gary Hair]

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

If the toe fungus was a one-off it wouldn't be so bad, I get that call about once a month.

[Chris DeGerolamo]

ME>"What kind of font do you have in mind?"

THEM>"I dunno, just pick something. I trust your experience."

*picks a font that I think would suit the application*

THEM>"I don't like that one. How about something with more [insert subjective remark]"

*picks another font that I think would suit the application*

THEM>"I like the other one better. Let's just use the first one."

[Guy Hilliard]

Option #2 for the font is ALWAYS Comic Sans.
So far it's batting about .500.

[Chris DeGerolamo]

Option #2 for the font is ALWAYS Comic Sans.
So far it's batting about .500.

It was unbelievably difficult to quell my laughter after reading this. Absolutely brilliant....still laughing...

[Jeff Belany]

My favorite is the customer who needs a job that HAS to be done soon. I work it out and get it done by his deadline. Call to tell him it's ready and get. "Thanks, I'll be in sometime next week to pick it up." And then some times, it's a week or more before he picks it up. A REAL rush -- have a REAL urge to kill!!

Jeff in northern Wisconsin

[Mike Troncalli]

Customer: I have a really small plaque to engrave
Me: Ok..Bring it over.. By the way our machine's max is 12 x 20
Customer: Ok, the engraving is only a few words and is about 9 inches

Customer arrives with a 3 foot square piece of wood and wants a very small part engraved...

Me: Uhh.... our machine's max is 12 x 20...

[Dan Hintz]

Me: Ok..Bring it over.. By the way our machine's max is 12 x 20

There's your problem... you're not specific. The proper answer is "We can fit items no bigger than...". Prevents people from showing up with the Titanic attached to their trailer hitch.

Reminds me of an old one. Same basic scenario. The item WAS small enough to fit into the machine... but it was permanently attached to an item requiring a trailer to move it. I can't comprehend the thinking there.

"I'm sorry, but my laser does not have TARDIS capabilities."

[Skyler Bierley]

Client: "We need plates made, 4' wide x 2'' tall. We need 4 lines of type and we want the letters to be 1/2'' tall."
Me: "Errr, so no leading at all...?"

Mind you these are engineers, every time I need to explain this concept to them. They also fail at understanding that dictating the height also dictates the width.

[Kev Williams]

There's your problem... you're not specific. The proper answer is "We can fit items no bigger than...". Prevents people from showing up with the Titanic attached to their trailer hitch.

No. No, it doesn't. People is as People does... :p

About a year ago one of my customers, who's been here more than once, and KNOWS my shop is in the basement of our house, shows up with a 3000# injection mold on a pallet in the back of his work truck. I saw it and just shook my head slowly, and he says in all seriousness:
"Don't you have a forklift?"
http://www.engraver1.com/gifs/banghead.gif

[Guy Hilliard]

Me: $20.00

Client: No, that's not enough...

Me: How much would be enough?

Client: About $60.00.

Me: $60.00. OK, Including taxes that's $67.80.

Client: Perfect, thank you.

Me: Thank you

For a $20.00 (minimum charge) job that was really only worth about $5.00.
I love my clients and a few of them return the favor. And more than a few -
"Keep the change." where the change is more than $10.00.

[Barb Macdonald]

Customer supplied us with 0.5" thick cut-out chrome-plated brass letters/Logotype. We had previously sold them to the customer for a proto-type, and they wanted to use them for a "floating" set. Yes, folks, 0.5" thick chrome-plated solid brass letters can float. at least, the customer never did give up hoping we would be able to defy gravity. Tried showing the letters "embedded " into clear acrylic, using my epilog legend ext 60w. No sell. Showed them how we'd pin-mount the letters from below, (serif font, of course), but because of the design of the letters (U/Lc, o's and e's), the pins would be visible. I repeat, we told the customer, the pins would be visible. Finish the very tricky little job, (with visible, chrome-plated 0.125" pins) mounted to a polished/chromed base. Looked like a million bucks. Customer didn't agree. The pins were visible. I never sent a bill, I was too annoyed. How much does one charge to r&d anti-gravity? Even though we failed :) Big law firm customer, which explains a lot :)309536

I was on my own, employees and partners absent, father was in hospital, we had 8 hours to finish the job. Sorry, I had 8 hours to finish the job. I had drawn this exact product, they had approved it. Oh, never mind. Sorry. I thought it was funny. I have experienced many of the above stories, enjoyed them very much.
Thanks.

[Dan Hintz]

Customer supplied us with 0.5" thick cut-out chrome-plated brass letters/Logotype. We had previously sold them to the customer for a proto-type, and they wanted to use them for a "floating" set. Yes, folks, 0.5" thick chrome-plated solid brass letters can float. at least, the customer never did give up hoping we would be able to defy gravity. Tried showing the letters "embedded " into clear acrylic, using my epilog legend ext 60w. No sell. Showed them how we'd pin-mount the letters from below, (serif font, of course), but because of the design of the letters (U/Lc, o's and e's), the pins would be visible. I repeat, we told the customer, the pins would be visible. Finish the very tricky little job, (with visible, chrome-plated 0.125" pins) mounted to a polished/chromed base. Looked like a million bucks. Customer didn't agree. The pins were visible. I never sent a bill, I was too annoyed. How much does one charge to r&d anti-gravity? Even though we failed :) Big law firm customer, which explains a lot :)309536

Seems like you could have hidden some fat pins under the bases rather than off to the side. But I don't want to turn this thread into something other than funny stories from customers...

[Glen Monaghan]

Late Thursday afternoon, a woman contacted me to ask if I could engrave names on a couple of small items and what it would cost to ship to her. Sure! $50 for the engraved items plus $6 shipping. So she placed her order and paid.

Thursday evening, she came back and said she needed the order rushed and delivered Monday, or she'd just have to cancel. I replied that, for an additional $30, I would rush her order in 1 business day (ship Saturday) and, for an additional $29, would upgrade her shipping to next day delivery so she'd have it on Monday. Or I'd happily cancel if she wanted, but I needed to know by noon on Friday in order to get her order out on Saturday. Honestly, I expected her to protest that $59 of upgrades would more than double her original $56 order, and she'd cancel.

But noooo, she got back to me at around 1PM on Friday, asking to "pay the additional charges to get the order in time." I sighed, billed her. Also, since she hadn't given me a phone number with the original order, I again requested that she provide a phone number where I could reach her if there were any issues that needed her immediate involvement to avoid delaying the order. Five hours later, she finally paid. But again, no phone number. I just left and went to supper.

After supper, I was back in my shop to get her order processed when I found an email from her asking to make sure that I cancelled her original order so that she was only paying for the Rush processing and shipping upgrade...

After destroying two draft replies that were impolite at best, I finally sent off a note explaining that the "additional charges to get the order in time" were in addition to, not instead of, her original order charges. I asked if she wanted to continue or cancel entirely. It is now almost noon on Saturday and still no reply from her. Maybe I should just go ahead, cancel her original order, and overnight her an empty box?

[Scott Shepherd]

Just got a call from someone....

Customer : Hi, I have 2 champagne flutes I need engraved on the base and the base is pewter, can you do that?
Me : Yes, we can.

Customer : Well, I called Things Remembered and they said they couldn't do it and they recommended someone else and I called them and they said they couldn't do it, but they recommended you, because you have a laser thingy and they don't have that.
Me : We have a lot of options, what is it that you are trying to do?

Customer : It's for my Son's wedding and we need the names on them.
Me : We can do it, it's $40 for what you want.

Customer : Okay, that sounds good.
Me : We'd be sandblasting them which is going to give a very elegant, frosted look on the metal bases.

Customer : Oh, well, do you think Things Remembered can do that too?
Me : I have no idea, the Things Remembered around me went out of business a couple years ago.

Customer : But they should be able to do it, right?
Me : I have no idea, but I know we can do it.

Customer : Okay, we'll, let me calls Things Remembered and see if they can do it.

Glad I wasted that 10 minutes of the day......

[John Bion]

Customer rings: hello, can you engrave a memorial bench?
me: Yes, but a couple of questions first....
customer: how much will it cost?
me ( gut feel is this already a non starter): is the bench assembled or in parts, how long do you want the engraving on the bench or would you like a plaque perhaps?
Customer: yes, the bench is not assembled, not sure how long the text should be...
me: well, I can do a 2' section in my lasers, which means I can engrave 6' in the lasers in three passes ... Or I could do the whole length in one pass on the router ... It depends on what type of finish you would like... I explain diferences,
customer: ok, 2' would be great, how much?
me: would you like it lasered or routed,
customer: when could you do it (urgency in voice)?
me: well I could probably fit it in on Wednesday....
customer: cant you do it sooner and how much?
me ( I do hate that term 'how much'): If I use the laser it will be a maximum of £X.00 and if I use the rout...
Customer: (gasping in horror) HOWWWWW MUUUUCH?
me: ( suspicions exonerated): a maximum of £X.00 on tje laser and £Y.00 on the router, but it may be a little less once I have seen the bench.....
customer: Ok, thanks, I'll give you a call back...click
Me: I should have just ended the conversation 5 mins earlier.... Let her try find some other sucker who will race to the bottom of the price pit......

John

[Scott Shepherd]

Customer walks in the door, asks if he can get a price on name tags. Not a problem. I show him some samples and he says "those are nice, but I need them to be double sided".

I didn't even know how to respond to that. I'm sure I looked quite stupid with my mouth hung open a little, not saying a word, trying to process exactly what he just said.

[Gary Hair]

Customer walks in the door, asks if he can get a price on name tags. Not a problem. I show him some samples and he says "those are nice, but I need them to be double sided".

I didn't even know how to respond to that. I'm sure I looked quite stupid with my mouth hung open a little, not saying a word, trying to process exactly what he just said.


Uh, how else do you know their name when you walk up behind them...

[Clark Pace]

Them:So I want a quanity discount. How much for 10, 50 and 200 pieces.
Me: Ok, here is the pricing $10 Each (10), $7 (50) Each, $3.50 (200).
Them: A few days laters. Ok I will take 10 pieces, for $3.50 each.

[Jason Hilton]

While not for engraving work, I get the "I can bring you so much work!" line all the time. Please, bring me work, I will charge them less for not using that stupid line trying to get a discount.

[Scott Shepherd]

While not for engraving work, I get the "I can bring you so much work!" line all the time. Please, bring me work, I will charge them less for not using that stupid line trying to get a discount.

So true. I'd be a millionaire about 10 times over if all those promises came through.

[Mike Lassiter]

My customer who always wants something time consuming and custom done CHEAPLY, messages me about something and ask the standard question

"How much"

Me - having to invest time creating a vector file of what she wants and know I am going to have more time in that than she will repay in the volume of doing it.

"how many do you want?"

Her reply - "depends on cost"

I have explained it over and over again, but it seems the time to create what can be lasered is somehow expected to be free to her and just to be given away for doing work for her and another or two she has me do for her that she sells to them. I have spent more time than I want to tell everyone here for what ended up being ONE item and never again did any more. It is a sore spot for me, and I have just refused to do some things because it wasn't worth the time I would have to spend to do one or two for her. I have tried to persuade her to buy Corel Draw and spend countless hours learning to use it then she could sit and spend HER time creating these projects she want me to do for little to nothing.

Still waiting for that to happen

[Jason Hilton]

I typically charge based on a standard rate and then adjusted to the client. Something I've found that works for me in those situations is to send out a price sheet. I don't publish my rates online but I do keep a standardized price sheet and contract handy in case I get an aggressive haggler. I quote a rate (never a flat fee for a haggler! Ever) and if they start in with the lines I say "Why don't I send you my rate sheet and a quote and you can decided from there?" Seeing it in writing has an effect and usually they just accept it. Published rates have an undue influence on a persons thought process. Ever seen anyone haggle for the price of a burger at McDonalds?

[Ross Moshinsky]

We have very nice customers that order for non profits. They all want a special price. My answer is "everyone pays the same low price". If in fact I give them a better price to make the sale happen quickly and there is still meat left on the bone, they still want a better price. My answer is "this is your price and there are no further discounts." If that doesn't do it for them, such is life. On the way out they normally ask "Can you buy an ad in our.......?" My answer is no, if we buy one from you we have to buy one from everyone. Why open Pandora's box?

[Kev Williams]

ME>"What kind of font do you have in mind?"

THEM>"I dunno, just pick something. I trust your experience."


Just went thru this one myself. Got a call from a guy about laser etching a graphic on a knife. Afterwards he sends me the following email:

You can place graphic where you best see fit. Looking forward to working
with you in future. First graphic is the knife it's going on. Second
attachment is the graphic I want engraved. Thanks for your help

I take his photo of the knife, superimpose the graphic where I best saw fit.
Then I get an email from his wife:


Thanks again for doing this knife (and hopefully many more) for us.
We can't wait to see the finished product.
Hate to be a burden but had a question - is there any way to see it slightly different?
Either with the image a little smaller and moved up towards the top of the blade,
OR turned sideways and placed parallel to the guard?
Wasn't sure if your machine had the capability to do that or not.

So much for "as I see fit". ;)

And an fyi -- I engrave double-sided name tags/plates all the time. Key fobs are best example of double sided tags I can think of, just did a batch for the local Civil Air Patrol's airplanes...

[Scott Shepherd]

And an fyi -- I engrave double-sided name tags/plates all the time. Key fobs are best example of double sided tags I can think of, just did a batch for the local Civil Air Patrol's airplanes...

In my case, it was name tag to be worn on the shirt. If I engraved both sides, where was I going to put the magnet? How was it going to be stuck to the shirt?

[Kev Williams]

Both sides of a name badge IS a little strange... ;)

[Dan Hintz]

In my case, it was name tag to be worn on the shirt. If I engraved both sides, where was I going to put the magnet? How was it going to be stuck to the shirt?

OBVIOUSLY you were supposed to embed the magnet inside the plastic...

[Brian Leavitt]

I got one that goes the other way around. This was a (rather short) conversation between a customer and a former employee...

Customer: I'm sorry. I'm a little off today. My dog got hit by a car this morning.
Employee: I understand - I haven't had my coffee yet, so I know how you feel...

[Bert Kemp]

Great Bedside manor:eek: Former because of this ?


I got one that goes the other way around. This was a (rather short) conversation between a customer and a former employee...

Customer: I'm sorry. I'm a little off today. My dog got hit by a car this morning.
Employee: I understand - I haven't had my coffee yet, so I know how you feel...

[Ed Maloney]

Well it just happened again:

Customer: Do you offer wholesale pricing?
Me: Yes - How many would you like?
Customer: 1

[Liesl Dexheimer]

I had a call from a potential customer quite a few years back asking where I was located. After I told her, she told me she was one town over and that was too far. Felt like saying "Oh, I'm sorry. Should I bring all my equipment over to you?" That is a true townee.

[Ross Moshinsky]

Well it just happened again:

Customer: Do you offer wholesale pricing?
Me: Yes - How many would you like?
Customer: 1

I hate to say it, but that's not that unusual. I'm an ASI member and "regularly" buy small quantities from distributors at wholesale pricing. You're better off saying something along the lines of "We don't offer wholesale pricing, but I do give quantity discounts" or something like "We do offer wholesale pricing but we have a minimum order of $XXX". I've also dealt with vendors who really didn't want to offer wholesale pricing so their "wholesale pricing" was like 10-15% off.

[Dan Hintz]

Well it just happened again:

Customer: Do you offer wholesale pricing?
Me: Yes - How many would you like?
Customer: 1


I hate to say it, but that's not that unusual. I'm an ASI member and "regularly" buy small quantities from distributors at wholesale pricing. You're better off saying something along the lines of "We don't offer wholesale pricing, but I do give quantity discounts" or something like "We do offer wholesale pricing but we have a minimum order of $XXX". I've also dealt with vendors who really didn't want to offer wholesale pricing so their "wholesale pricing" was like 10-15% off.

And let's be clear... "wholesale" means you sell to retailers, not end customers. Wholesale is not synonymous with "discounted rate", it is merely an indication of the supply chain.

A customer who asks for "wholesale pricing" should be responded to with "What retail establishment will you be selling the item through?" If they cannot answer, then suggest they mean "quantity discount", not "wholesale pricing". Your wholesale cost may be lower, but it doesn't have to be, other than the quantity discount that would come into effect anyway. If the quantity becomes "one", then the quantity discount is 0%.

[John Stevenson]

Not engraving but had a guy walk in once with a 25mm diameter bar and wanted a 30mm diameter hole cross drilling into it.
I asked him which half he wanted to keep but it didn't sink in.

[Dan Hintz]

Not engraving but had a guy walk in once with a 25mm diameter bar and wanted a 30mm diameter hole cross drilling into it.
I asked him which half he wanted to keep but it didn't sink in.

Obviously he meant he wanted a 30mm radius hole, John ;)

[Scott Shepherd]

Customer : Do you do metal business cards?

Me : We can, it depends on what you are looking for, can you tell me what you're looking for? Stainless Steel? Anodized aluminum? Cut out? Just engraved?

Customer : I like the look of the colored aluminum.

Me : We can do that, there are some stock sizes available, and if we need to go outside of that or have anything custom cut into the blanks, we can have them custom cut by a machine shop that does that for us, but that can get quite expensive, depending on the complexity of the cut and the number of them you want. The stock sizes are the lowest cost because we can buy the blanks already cut and just engrave them. As long as there are no custom cuts, that's going to be the most economical way to make what you're asking for.

Customer : Great! No custom cuts, let's just use the stock blanks. I'll email my logo to you shortly.

:::::email coming in:::::::

Customer email : I've included the file, I'd like to have the shape cut out of the middle and the rest engraved using the stock blanks.

Me : :::::::sigh::::::::::

[Dana Perreault]

Obviously he meant he wanted a 30mm radius hole, John ;)

And again Dan, one asks, "which half does he want to keep." ;)

[bill liscombe]

Were I Work ( Power generation) I have people ask me for lables " about the size of a post it note" or " about A4 size" etc.

then they say Oh thats not the right size and the text is the wrong size too.

I now show a lable with the following on :-

If you require a lable, Please Draw it with dimensions and text size
or else



Power station staff ( including Engineers and Managers) are not very bright !!!!!

[Bill Cunningham]

The funny thing is, I don't get a lot of those type of customers. I've been dealing with the public and 'adult(?)' students for over 45 years so maybe I subconsiously head off most of the stupid questions before they hit home. I occasionally get calls from ditzy brides that never seem to read or understand any instructions I send them. I.E. the 1/2" high 72 dpi .gif they want engraved 10" high on a wooden plaque to be framed. I explain that its going to look like a field of bowling balls, but they say nooo it looks great here are you sure you're looking at it right?
There's an old saying:
When you're dead you don't know it, so it's only a problem for other people.
It's the same when you're stupid!

[Tim Bateson]

Customer: Do you do laser cutting?
Me: Yes, but it depends on what you need cut.
Customer: It's a steel plate..... but it's only 1 inch thick...
Me: ummmm...

[Dave Sheldrake]

I have a sign on my wall that reads

"Seriously! I don't know when the aliens arrived and dropped off all the stupid people but apparently they aren't coming back for them"

[stan kern]

My experience with people and a lot of them is the stone soup technique and i still fall for it.
They start off with a real basic request,then its discussed to no end many emails and priced
Then its all changed and becomes something very complicated a whole lot more work and the price must not change
and the wood is not ordinary.
Stone soup --a guy comes to the door and asks to borrow a pot holding 2 stones,person asks why the stones and whats the pot for
"stone soup--he says,the giving person laughs and gives him the pot ,he then asks for 2 cups of water,then he says that a few carrots would go nicely with the stones
and it goes on with potatoes being added maybe some left over meat pieces and other vegetables --this is what people do when they want something for next to nothing and get away with it

[Keith Colson]

I had a very frustrating customer this week. I have had 4 visits from the mother, father and daughter. Each time they visit they change things a little and I say "here is the price, would you like to go ahead"?, each time one of them says "I will get back to you"

Today I get a call "Is it ready yet"?. Me - "You were going to get back to me with a go ahead". Angry customer "I really need it today". Me "Sorry, I can have it ready in two days". This was not good enough.

I find it hard to believe that people can act like this.

[Dan Ashlin]

I had an encounter with one of my customers that was pretty infuriating. I do work for a big university nearby, and they are mostly pleasant to deal with, but their football team always places a big order once a year at the last minute and it's like pulling teeth to get payment. They picked their order up 60 days ago and it says at the bottom of the invoice "please remit payment withing 30 days. If payment is not received, a 10% late fee will be added to the total bill". Well, I had reminded them at 30 days and let it slide but finally had it and re-issued with the fee. I got a nasty email from the billing department that said "We don't get funding for late fees, so please issue another bill with the late fee taken off because we don't pay them". What!? I replied that that was unacceptable and they said they would have to go with another vendor next year if I insisted on charging a late fee. I told them next year I would choose not to do business with customers who choose not to pay on time. Got the check today....without the late fee. Ugh.

[Bert Kemp]

I would send them another bill for the late fee and add 10% to it for having to reissue and if their business wasn't crucial and you could do ok with out it I'd tell them to find another vendor. Sounds like they think they can do just what they want ,pay when they feel like it and tell you to stick your fee's after you went above and beyond and reminded them at 30 days and waited another 30 after that. Better yet tell them you want 50% up front before any work is done.


I had an encounter with one of my customers that was pretty infuriating. I do work for a big university nearby, and they are mostly pleasant to deal with, but their football team always places a big order once a year at the last minute and it's like pulling teeth to get payment. They picked their order up 60 days ago and it says at the bottom of the invoice "please remit payment withing 30 days. If payment is not received, a 10% late fee will be added to the total bill". Well, I had reminded them at 30 days and let it slide but finally had it and re-issued with the fee. I got a nasty email from the billing department that said "We don't get funding for late fees, so please issue another bill with the late fee taken off because we don't pay them". What!? I replied that that was unacceptable and they said they would have to go with another vendor next year if I insisted on charging a late fee. I told them next year I would choose not to do business with customers who choose not to pay on time. Got the check today....without the late fee. Ugh.

[Ross Moshinsky]

I would move on without the late fee this year. Next year if they come back, I would stipulate that they have to pay the total or provide a purchase order from the university at pickup. A 10% late fee is high, most people would charge 18% per year or 1.5% per month interest charge for the unpaid balance. That does not mean you will get it, but charge you may.

[Chuck Stone]

I can remember finally getting paid on a long overdue invoice by a city. Our terms were
net 30, with 1.5% per month (18% per annum) late fee. The city always put their own
terms (that nobody had agreed to) of 5% if paid within 10 days on any contract or bid.
But they took 5 years to pay. They still took the 5%.

[Scott Shepherd]

I had a very frustrating customer this week. I have had 4 visits from the mother, father and daughter. Each time they visit they change things a little and I say "here is the price, would you like to go ahead"?, each time one of them says "I will get back to you"

Today I get a call "Is it ready yet"?. Me - "You were going to get back to me with a go ahead". Angry customer "I really need it today". Me "Sorry, I can have it ready in two days". This was not good enough.

I find it hard to believe that people can act like this.

I think we had relatives of their's...

Customer comes in on a Saturday, the door is locked because we are closed. Banging repeatedly on the door and calling. I let him him, he needs 6 names tags immediately. I tell him it'll be Monday afternoon, he agrees, writes the names down, spells 4 of the 6 names wrong, which I corrected while he was standing there.

Calls Monday morning "Are my name tags ready?".

Comes in to get the name tags, sees a image on our wall of a ADA sign, "We need one of those, how much". I give him a price, then he says he needs 2, but then, no, wait, let's just do one for now. Tells me he'll call me back with the details.

Calls a week later "Is my sign ready, you said 7-10 days and it's been a week". Of course it's not ready, because he never ordered it. I tell him he never ordered it, he says he's sorry for the miscommunication on his part, go ahead and get it ordered.

Calls back 3 days later, wants to know where the sign is, I told him 7-10 days and it has been 10 days now. We explain it's 7-10 days from the time he orders it and he just ordered it 3 days ago.

Get the sign made, call him, he shows up, and says "Where's the other one?".

What other one?

"I said I needed 2 of them".

Yes, you did, but you also said "Hold off on the second one, don't order that one right now", and you've never given me a single thing that shows what it would say even if you did order it and we had the frame, so how would I have made it?

"Well, I need it, go ahead and order the frame, how long is that going to take?"

7-10 days.

Calls back 3 days later....."Can I come by today and get the sign?"

[Chris DeGerolamo]

^Thanks for the laugh.

[Neville Stewart]

All these stories while very amusing are really very valuable. Thanks to all of you for recounting them.

[Uma Duffy]

Do you take cash?

[Neville Stewart]

Do you take cash?

We should have. "like" button. That's hilarious Uma, although the when I take out a $20 at the grocery store, they look at me funny.

[Gary Hair]

Calls back 3 days later....."Can I come by today and get the sign?"

"what sign, I have no idea what you are talking about. Are you sure you called the right place? I think you have the wrong number."

[Ross Moshinsky]

Last Thursday I get a call around 11 AM. Organization needs 5 plaques for the next day. They're from out of the state, coming into the state for an event. Direct them to our website. They pick a plaque style I have in stock and I tell them I need all the engraving info & pay in full by 1PM and we'll take care of it for them. They also need to approve the proofs by the next morning at 10AM. If they don't do any of those three things, I'm charging them a rush charge.

So at 12:30 I get a call from their treasurer. They ask "How am I supposed to pay by 1PM, I'm out of the state." The obvious response "Give me your credit card number". "Oh, our organization doesn't have one. Can I fax you a check?" At this point I'm totally confused how faxing me a check is going to do anything. "Oh, we do it all the time..." So at this point I expect it's a scam. "No, we wouldn't accept that. We'd need a credit card number." "How about a wire transfer?" "No sir, we don't do wire transfers for orders." "Okay, let me call you back".

While I'm on the phone with their treasurer, I see emails flooding in to my mail box, which is a good and bad sign. Good that I'm getting info, bad that they are sending 3-4 emails for 5 plaques. So at 12:50 I get a call from the original person, "we'd like to give the president a trophy and we might need some more plaques." So the discussion results in a "trophy" being an acrylic award. I'm going to send them some examples of what I have on hand. 12:55, we get the credit card number. Doesn't really matter because I don't have a firm order and no way am I getting all the info in 5 minutes. So for the next 4 hours it's emailing and calling back forth. Finally at about 5:00PM they decide to give everyone acrylic awards, get final numbers, and "have all the engraving info".

I send them a new invoice, tell them to look it over. The new invoice includes a 20% rush charge. They approve it. Now these aren't big acrylics yet there is a LOT of text. I jam it in there because I just don't have the time to argue with them. I go on doing the proofs, included a cleaned up logo I did for free. I send them before we leave. Later that night I receive a few emails. A. The proofs are not correct. They didn't say it, but they didn't actually send me all the info. B. They want the rush fee waved because I was given the credit card number on time. Sent them an email back saying, send us all the info in 1 email to get the correct text and they can either buy the awards with the rush charge or not. They place the order and send the files.

Come in the next morning and re-lay out the acrylics. Each one is different, both major and minor differences. For example, they list the person presenting the award on each acrylic. It's the same person's name on 5 awards. It's typed 3 different ways. Get the work done, on time. Taking time away from a far more important project I have. They call about an hour before it's supposed to be done, and I tell them it's all done. So it's about 5:30 and they haven't come in. Call them up. I guess they had no real intention of picking them up because they had no idea who was going to get them. It ended up being about 5 minutes out of our way home, so we deliver them (I was over-ruled on this, as I would have told them tough luck).

We made decent money on the order but what a complete waste of time and energy.

[Neville Stewart]

I really am going to print these out and pin on a board. If a potential can see his situation up there, I'll start cleaning my handguns :)

[Neil Pabia]

My favorite was the trophy shop that wanted me to engrave 50 crystal apples, no big deal I thought. I ran them all and thought they looked great so I called the customer to come get them as he had called me at least 5 times a day since he dropped them off to me. He shows up just as I'm closing the door to leave. He looks at one and says that it is all wrong and he's not happy at all, it seems he wanted them engraved in color in the middle of the apple like the cubes that are sold at fairs and gift shops. Now he wants me to remove the engraving and do it the way he originally wanted them or he wants them back with no engraving. I told him that none of that was possible and he owes for the job. He tells me he will take them but he's not paying for them. I said fine, no money , no apples and helped him to the door. He left me dozens of messages and texts telling me how pissed the customer is and his business is going to suffer from it and he's wants to sue me.....Okay, have fun.
I get a call the next week from his customer wanting to know what the delay is, so I explained what was going on. A very nice lady showed up at my shop from the company and wanted to see what happened. I showed her the apples and she was very happy with the work and wanted them. She wanted to pay me what she still owed the trophy shop and wanting to get done with this whole thing before I used them for target practice, I said it was fine. She wrote a check out to me on the spot for $400 more than I was charging the other guy. It almost made it worth the aggravation of dealing with the idiot from the trophy shop. He called me recently to run another job for him, I explained that I had an *&#hole charge and he was maxing it out, he went elsewhere to get the job done, I was there when he came to pick them up as the other laser guy is a friend and knew the previous situation. Sure enough, my buddy didn't do it right either and the guy wanted them for free. We are all black balling this trophy shop now.

[Bert Kemp]

Just curious doesn't this guy give you approved art work or you give him proofs to OK before doing a job.
I do very little for pay jobs but the one's I do I always send a proof for approval first and get an email confirmation to go ahead and do it. Then there's no question, they have an email with what there going to get ,and I have an email saying there ok with it.



My favorite was the trophy shop that wanted me to engrave 50 crystal apples, no big deal I thought. I ran them all and thought they looked great so I called the customer to come get them as he had called me at least 5 times a day since he dropped them off to me. He shows up just as I'm closing the door to leave. He looks at one and says that it is all wrong and he's not happy at all, it seems he wanted them engraved in color in the middle of the apple like the cubes that are sold at fairs and gift shops. Now he wants me to remove the engraving and do it the way he originally wanted them or he wants them back with no engraving. I told him that none of that was possible and he owes for the job. He tells me he will take them but he's not paying for them. I said fine, no money , no apples and helped him to the door. He left me dozens of messages and texts telling me how pissed the customer is and his business is going to suffer from it and he's wants to sue me.....Okay, have fun.
I get a call the next week from his customer wanting to know what the delay is, so I explained what was going on. A very nice lady showed up at my shop from the company and wanted to see what happened. I showed her the apples and she was very happy with the work and wanted them. She wanted to pay me what she still owed the trophy shop and wanting to get done with this whole thing before I used them for target practice, I said it was fine. She wrote a check out to me on the spot for $400 more than I was charging the other guy. It almost made it worth the aggravation of dealing with the idiot from the trophy shop. He called me recently to run another job for him, I explained that I had an *&#hole charge and he was maxing it out, he went elsewhere to get the job done, I was there when he came to pick them up as the other laser guy is a friend and knew the previous situation. Sure enough, my buddy didn't do it right either and the guy wanted them for free. We are all black balling this trophy shop now.

[Chuck Stone]

My favorite was the trophy shop that wanted me to engrave 50 crystal apples, no big deal I thought. .

Please tell us that you asked him "How do you like THEM apples?"

[Bert Kemp]

and I just choked on my salad LOL very good Chuck:D


Please tell us that you asked him "How do you like THEM apples?"

[Robert Tepper]

I was taking out the trash when the phone rang. Barbara, my production manger said the lady on the phone wanted to know if I could engrave something sticky and black. I was having trouble understanding what she was explaining! The lady called back in ten minutes. She wanted a "piggy bank" engraved with her employers name. She wanted to bring it in and wait for it. I told her I would be happy to look at the item but that I could not do it today. She need it for tonight. I did not feel I should tear down a job to do a rush job. I don't like to do rush jobs and piggy banks are not my specialty.

Robert

[Neil Pabia]

Just curious doesn't this guy give you approved art work or you give him proofs to OK before doing a job.
I do very little for pay jobs but the one's I do I always send a proof for approval first and get an email confirmation to go ahead and do it. Then there's no question, they have an email with what there going to get ,and I have an email saying there ok with it.
They supplied the artwork and told me to run with it as is because it was such a rush job. The artwork wasn't a problem, the problem was he thought any piece of glass and any laser will make the blocks engraved in the middle and in color.

[Neil Pabia]

Please tell us that you asked him "How do you like THEM apples?"
Chuck, you know me, you know I can't post my words to him without getting banned from here...LOL

[Mark Sipes]

Mother comes in with Wedding Toasting Glasses to be engraved. Very nice, high end silver wine goblets. " Can you engrave these with Names and Date, I would like to give them to my daughter for Christmas"........ me: "Not a problem" ( hold that thought) ... she provides names , date and selects font. The glasses are engraved.. she loves them, pays and leaves.........Christmas comes and when we open in the New Year she is the first one through the door..... " my daughter loved the glasses but you engraved the wrong date...... I pull the order and showed her the information she wrote down. (not just a day or two off but month and day).... "Well, can you erase the date and re-engrave the new information" Why didn't I think of that... a Silver eraser! "Sorry but that is not how engraved silver works" customer: "Well I want these glasses.. do what it takes to fix them." $250 later... shipping and replating and re-engrave... I call her and tell they are ready.......... She sees them and is pleased..... tell her the price and she hits the roof..... explain the steps taken, the process of plating.. yada, yada. Her reply.. "I just wanted the date removed and fixed, not the entire glass"....... I gave her credit for the first engraving .........but now require all wedding gifts they wish to be engraved to be presented with the actual wedding announcement. This was the third in 20 years .... you would think I would learn.... but better yet the customer would know the spelling and date of such an important date.......

[Chuck Stone]

Chuck, you know me, you know I can't post my words to him without getting banned from here...LOL


I imagine that just getting nose-to-nose with him would have solved any problem..

[Andrew Holloway]

I think we have all heard this one before:

Thanks for the quote however it is looking a bit too expensive. If you could please lower the price on this order we would be looking to cut a range of other orders of up to 10,000 units. Are you able to provide a better price?