Winner: Idiot of the Month Award

[Kent A Bathurst]

The Winner is me. And it is only March 01. Beat this with a stick:

A rodent made an appearance in the basement shop last night. Fine - the cold drives them in every year this time. I am weaponized to deal with this annoyance. I have 2 of the heavy duty Victor spring/bar rat traps.

Wanted to check them out to see that they were in working order. ` Set one - and to test it, I grabbed a pencil......except I grabbed a black ink pen that was beside it.

Tapped the trap's foot pedal, the trap flew, snapped the pen - obliterated it. Black ink sprayed everywhere.........fortunately a roll of Scotts blue towels and a squeeze bottle of DNA were right beside me - - got the monitor cleaned up after 3 - 4 dozen wipings. But - in the meantime, my hands are all splotched with ink.

Fortunately, LOML left this AM for the Philly Flower Show, so I have a few days to try to get back to normal............

You guys wanna compete with me for the award, you'd better bring your A Game.

But I wonder - does this mean the rat has won, even after I hammer him?

[Judson Green]

No pictures, Kent, come on you know better than that!

[Dave Zellers]

But I wonder - does this mean the rat has won, even after I hammer him?
Not as far as the rat is concerned.

[Kent A Bathurst]

No pictures, Kent, come on you know better than that!

Judson - gimme a break, brudda......


I'm sitting here with black ink all over my hands. Weekends is my laundry chore, and I've got a pair of nitrile gloves from my finishing stuff to put on to do the next load. Plus - I've got a long sleeve t-shirt and a fleece sweatshirt with ink all over them.............gotta change them out first.

And you want photos?

May I please get back to you.................priorities, and all a that stuff, eh? :p

[Kent A Bathurst]

Not as far as the rat is concerned.

Dave - I am on a mission from God with respect to that critter. Before he ink pen explosion, he was merely a seasonal annoyance. Now - I'm at DEFCON 4.

Think of Bill Murray and the gopher...........

[Raymond Fries]

Oh man...

...I feel for ya.

Good luck with the cleanup.

[Dave Zellers]

Dave - I am on a mission from God with respect to that critter.
Well, after you get him, stab him with the pen.

And post that pic. :cool:

[Kent A Bathurst]

Well, after you get him, stab him with the pen.

And post that pic. :cool:

Dave - I kid you not - that large snap-trap turned that pen into flying blots of ink and shards of plastic - they are all over the place. I could not find enough of them to reconstruct anything.

It was pretty impressive. I sat here laughing for 3 minutes before I realized the monitor was covered with that stuff.........

The only positives out of this

1. You had to be here. By now, you know I have a very irreverent sense of humor, even/especially when I am the target. It was absolutely hilarious. Had ink all over my eyeglasses. Have not yet gone to the loo to look in the mirror...........

2. LOML is far away. Giving me some time to get things back in order, and get my story straight - or at least reduced in severity.

[Dave Zellers]

2. LOML is far away. Giving me some time to get things back in order, and get my story straight
Let's see...

" Honey, I went down to the shop and there was a rat there that was 2 feet long.

Not counting the tail, which was 3 feet if it was an inch.

He lunged at me and all I had was a pen..."

[David Ragan]

I do stuff like that all the time- nothing comes immediately to mind tho. When i get back to work tomorrow, just give me an hour or so and i'll come up w some spontaneous stupid act or something come out of my mouth.

the thing is-some things (stupid mistakes) can be difficult to stop doing, right?

[Mel Fulks]

Kent, you have an admirable disposition to be able to see humor there. And when you do recover enough to film a reenactment ....if you still have some ink on you ....some stage make up will add credibility.Devil made me write this!

[Jim Matthews]

Think of Bill Murray and the gopher...........

Dude, the Gopher won in Caddyshack.
Better rethink your tactics.

+1 on kill traps.
If you poison them, they'll crawl into the woodwork to die.

That's a smell no one should have to endure.

[Tom Stenzel]

Note to Kent- This is how it's supposed to look:
308208
:)

Got a call from the neighbor just after the holidays, rats had found their bird feeder to be the perfect smorgasbord, and our deck the perfect condominium. I call this a good start. I was going to put his head on a pike as a warning to the rest but my daughter thought it was disgusting. But then she thinks everything I do is disgusting, oh well.

By the way, claiming credit for idiot of the month is way premature. I'm sure I can top your weak attempt in two weeks or less.

Yesterday I was wrestling with my dog in the garage. He grabbed my glove and pulled me and my wheelchair out of the garage, across the driveway, into the snow filled yard. Then pulled sideways and toppled the whole mess over leaving me sprawled out in the snow. As these things go that makes it a fairly average day. But that was February so it doesn't count for March.

I promise to do better.

-Tom

[Kent A Bathurst]

Tom:

#1 - that is exactly the photo I am hoping for. Maybe tomorrow. With a couple black ink pens stuck in him.
#2 - you are a patient guy. I would have a pellet pistol strapped to the wheelchair. He thinks he has a game that I would not be willing to play............;)

[ken masoumi]

I started laughing as soon as I read this:"...except I grabbed a black ink pen that was beside it."

[mike mcilroy]

Re: The Idiot of the month award.

I try to pace myself and do a little everyday instead of one show stopper. I never win but I always feel as though the judges aren't paying attention to detail.

[Bert Kemp]

Note to Kent- This is how it's supposed to look:
308208
:)

Got a call from the neighbor just after the holidays, rats had found their bird feeder to be the perfect smorgasbord, and our deck the perfect condominium. I call this a good start. I was going to put his head on a pike as a warning to the rest but my daughter thought it was disgusting. But then she thinks everything I do is disgusting, oh well.

By the way, claiming credit for idiot of the month is way premature. I'm sure I can top your weak attempt in two weeks or less.

Yesterday I was wrestling with my dog in the garage. He grabbed my glove and pulled me and my wheelchair out of the garage, across the driveway, into the snow filled yard. Then pulled sideways and toppled the whole mess over leaving me sprawled out in the snow. As these things go that makes it a fairly average day. But that was February so it doesn't count for March.

I promise to do better.

-Tom
Now I'm laughing thats funny, hope you got out of the snow and back inside to warm house OK.
I remember a long time ago getting into a wrestling match with my Black Lab at the time. I was lying on the bed and he came walking buy with my sweatshirt in his mouth , so naturally I reached out and grabbed it. He wasn't about to let go, he dug his front paws in,back end up in the air and he started shaking and yanking and backing up. Well hey I'm 6ft 230 and no dog is gonna beat me. WRONG!!! he just kept tugging and backing up ,pullling me off the bed on to the floor and across the bedroom floor. I'm laughing so hard the tears rolling down my face, I just could not hang on any more the dang dog won.

[Kent A Bathurst]

Re: The Idiot of the month award.

I try to pace myself and do a little everyday instead of one show stopper.

Nah, Mike. Screw that. Anybody can be a bit wrong, but to be entirely out of the picture takes focus.

When I mess something up, I am swinging for the fences,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :p :p

[Paul McGaha]

Attention Ken Fitzgerald - Any suggestions for Kent as to what he should use as bait for his mouse trap?

[Jim Becker]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v646/a-j-adopt/Doh_zpse0hjsgqs.jpg

[Lee Schierer]

` Set one - and to test it, I grabbed a pencil......except I grabbed a black ink pen that was beside it.

Just think, if you had grabbed the pencil, you would now be picking splinters out of your hands and face.

[Larry Browning]

Ok, I thinking this one might be a contender, except this may be last month's winner.
http://www.sawmillcreek.org/showthread.php?227979-Funny-story-Well-now-it-s-funny

This thread contains a few more as well.

[Marty Gulseth]

I definitely should NOT have read this thread at work. Even on my lunch break. That is all.

Regards, Marty

[Peter Kelly]

Amateur.


http://youtu.be/bITUjh6pWkc

[Larry Edgerton]

My magnet fiasco was last month or I would have had you! On top of that my basement flooded when my well froze ON, and my wife ran into my shop with the car. I am really glad its a new month and you are taking over!:D

Congratulations!

Larry

[Lee Reep]

I was the Monthly Winner a few years back. I had about a dozen cans of spray paint up on the top of a metal storage rack in my basement. You know, up on the top shelf that you put seldom used items -- like spray paint cans in the winter.

I bumped the rack, a can of paint tumbled down, and hit the corner of my wooden benchtop. Punched the perfectly-sized hole to shoot a big stream of paint out. Worse, the can spun around from the jet stream of paint, spraying workbench, floor, and a bunch of aluminum bar clamps. The happy part of the story is that these were Harbor Freight clamps. I would have cried of they were my Bessey clamps. The concrete floor and workbench cleaned up pretty easily.

[Bill McNiel]

I'm entering my son-in-law. He came over this afternoon to "help" me buck up a grove of 70'+ Alder trees that I had dropped this morning. Within 30 minutes he had his saw out and proceeded to drop the last one on his fancy new Lexis (still has paper plates on it). Not "kind of grazed", he landed the sucker dead nuts on the top of the vechicle. Please understand that the car was 180 degrees in the opposite direction that the tree was supposed to fall.

[Kent A Bathurst]

My magnet fiasco was last month or I would have had you! On top of that my basement flooded when my well froze ON, and my wife ran into my shop with the car. I am really glad its a new month and you are taking over!:D

Larry - in retrospect, we probably should have retired the award after your Feb experiences. The story about your wife still cracks me up - not your garage so much, but the conversation in the body shop later that day that sealed the deal.

Since we can't retire it, I think we should name it after you: The Idiot of the Month Edgerton = TIME Award. I think you're gonna wear this one, brudda.........


Attention Ken Fitzgerald - Any suggestions for Kent as to what he should use as bait for his mouse trap?

Good question, brudda - that rat b****** has taken the peanut butter two night in a row without tripping the trap. Ima thinkin it is not a rat, just a field mouse that is not heavy enough to spring it, Might need a smaller hammer for this nail.............


Just think, if you had grabbed the pencil, you would now be picking splinters out of your hands and face.

Good point, Lee. As an update - a few minutes ago, I found a few shards of pen casing on the floor of the shop 20' away from the scene of the crime...and ink splotches on the bench and TS surfaces between the crime scene and those pieces.

This is still too funny. For me, at least. Hope I provided some slapstick humor to the rest of youse guys.

[Jim Matthews]

When I mess something up, I am swinging for the fences,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :p :p

Why not? Nobody remembers Babe Ruth for how many times he struck out.

[mike mcilroy]

Nah, Mike. Screw that. Anybody can be a bit wrong, but to be entirely out of the picture takes focus.

When I mess something up, I am swinging for the fences,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :p :p


Why not? Nobody remembers Babe Ruth for how many times he struck out.

Hey Rod Carew made the HOF without swinging for the fences.
So you're saying there's a chance... I hear ya.

[Chris Padilla]

The month is young....

[Kent A Bathurst]

The month is young....

Yes, it is. My confidence is unbounded, but take your best shot, Chris, and see if you can take it away from me. :D

Pretty darn weird competition, don't you think? Just don't do anything that involves hot dogs. :p

[Kevin Barnett]

I'm entering. This morning I was backing the car out of the garage. As the tires hit the snow/ice I hear a crunch. It just sounds louder than normal. I pull forward a little. I look again out the back window and in the camera screen. Nothing. My daughter says "that's the snow". So I back out a little faster this time. Loud crunch.

Turns out the garage door stopped just higher than the rear window. Car is scratched. Antenna is destroyed. Garage door is pretty much needing replacement. So technically, I'm the only idiot I know that ran into the garage door twice today.

[Steve Rozmiarek]

Nicely done Kevin!

[Jason Roehl]

Kevin, ouch.

[Chris Padilla]

Kevin is in the lead....

[Joe Bradshaw]

Well played Kevin.
Joe

[Don Morris]

Gimme a couple days. In my shop things almost that bad happen a lot, but I've learned to keep quiet about them. Like setting the two Grrr-Rippers down in the correct position, then forgetting and when I went to pick up the second one for the long piece of wood, I rotated it and a lot of green shavings went flying all over the TS. I knew exactly what I did when I saw the shavings go flying and the resistance I met over the blade. The middle leg of one of my Grr-Rippers now has an extra groove. Then again, a couple of my side legs aren't exactly the same width as when I got them either. I wish they wouldn't ask "why" when you call "Micro-jig" when you call for replacement parts. That's embarrassing.

[Larry Edgerton]

Went by my brothers shop yesterday, auto repair facility, and although not on the board he has an employee that should be in contention. Had a car on the hoist for brakes and the parts were not going to be in for a day so Jerry told him to back it out and bring something else in. The car had no brakes but that is not all that unusual to move them around in this condition. The guy started to back it out then realized that he did not have the door open, panicked and froze instead of shutting the car off, drove through the door. This shop only has one door, so he effectively shut the shop down as it had to be closed up. 14'x14' doors have to be ordered so the shop is closed till a door comes.

Thats two garage doors for the Edgerton family in one week, and I can never remember one ever being damaged before in my lifetime. Jerry should not have been razzing my wife so hard.........