Dale Thompson
07-17-2005, 4:11 PM
Hi Folks,
My daughter recently got back into the engineering business on a limited basis. A small developer in the Milwaukee/Oak Creek area needed a part-time registered PE to review and put her stamp on their drawings for submittal to the state for approval. In addition to that, she also does informational presentations to the various town and county boards and city councils whose approval is necessary for her company to proceed with their plans. Sometimes concerned citizen groups are also on her schedule. She loves the job and makes more per hour than I make in a month selling wooden pencils in front of the bistros in the greater metropolitan area of downtown Peshtigo. :mad:
Anyway, she told her boss that she needed a special table for the drawing review process. The prices varied from $450 - $2000. He told her to take her pick. She told him that she would rather get her "dad" to make one. :eek: :mad: I was REALLY ticked and decided to teach her a lesson, once and for all!! :cool: ;) Instead of going into detail, I will attach the letter that I enclosed with her "table".
Dear Ms. Tushaus,
The attached table should teach you a lesson. When your boss offers to buy you a “Professional” piece of office furniture – take the offer! The table in question is an original design and the result of a warped mind. There is absolutely NO continuity to the wood selection and the configuration is intended to make you the laughing stock of your office. A circus wagon has far more logic built into it than does this kaleidoscope of residual compressed resin.
To specifically embarrass you, let me outline the depths to which I sank in terms of discouraging you from further invasions of my time and tools:
· The base frame is made from solid Red Oak and the screw plugs are Mahogany. All are finished with a light Oak stain and three coats of polyurethane varnish.
· The table surface is made from a “cacophony” of White Ash (as used to make baseball bats) slabs where I made every effort possible NOT to match the grains! The monogram inlay, frame and screw hole plugs are, again, made from Mahogany. The stain is the boring old light Oak but this time has FOUR coats of Polyurethane to protect it from your vigorous attack on defenseless blueprints.
· The table extensions are Red Oak with Mahogany ends. Four coats of Poly cover the light Oak stain.
· The pull knobs on the table extensions are “natural” Cocobola. I finally got a chance to do a bit of lathe work. This gorgeous wood is NEVER stained. It is, however, “enhanced” with my secret “Witches Brew” for lathe stuff. Don’t ask me the formula or I will have to have to you “eliminated”.
· The “Flying W” is made from natural Bloodwood. Once again, we NEVER stain Bloodwood. Protection, however, is attained by applying several coats of Polyurethane.
I hope that you have learned your lesson for the LAST time! Your professional image will NEVER be enhanced by relying on your old man to contribute to your office décor!!
Love, ???????
dad
It did NOT work!!!
Pic 1 shows where my priorities are. :D
Pic 2 is where I try to get a bit of a tear from this demanding old broad. :rolleyes:
Pic 3 shows me on the left. :cool:
Pic 4 is deceiving. It looks as though she is going to give be an appreciative peck on the cheek. WRONG!! She is asking me why I am taking so long to finish her new printer table. :rolleyes:
The rest of the pics are self explanatory and the last two will be on a supplementary post.
Whatever, I'm giving up on this STUPID woodworking thing. I'm going to get a job as a "Tornado Chaser". It will be a LOT less stressful and demanding!! :)
Dale T. (Soon to be known as "Twister Thompson" of "Dizzy Dale")
My daughter recently got back into the engineering business on a limited basis. A small developer in the Milwaukee/Oak Creek area needed a part-time registered PE to review and put her stamp on their drawings for submittal to the state for approval. In addition to that, she also does informational presentations to the various town and county boards and city councils whose approval is necessary for her company to proceed with their plans. Sometimes concerned citizen groups are also on her schedule. She loves the job and makes more per hour than I make in a month selling wooden pencils in front of the bistros in the greater metropolitan area of downtown Peshtigo. :mad:
Anyway, she told her boss that she needed a special table for the drawing review process. The prices varied from $450 - $2000. He told her to take her pick. She told him that she would rather get her "dad" to make one. :eek: :mad: I was REALLY ticked and decided to teach her a lesson, once and for all!! :cool: ;) Instead of going into detail, I will attach the letter that I enclosed with her "table".
Dear Ms. Tushaus,
The attached table should teach you a lesson. When your boss offers to buy you a “Professional” piece of office furniture – take the offer! The table in question is an original design and the result of a warped mind. There is absolutely NO continuity to the wood selection and the configuration is intended to make you the laughing stock of your office. A circus wagon has far more logic built into it than does this kaleidoscope of residual compressed resin.
To specifically embarrass you, let me outline the depths to which I sank in terms of discouraging you from further invasions of my time and tools:
· The base frame is made from solid Red Oak and the screw plugs are Mahogany. All are finished with a light Oak stain and three coats of polyurethane varnish.
· The table surface is made from a “cacophony” of White Ash (as used to make baseball bats) slabs where I made every effort possible NOT to match the grains! The monogram inlay, frame and screw hole plugs are, again, made from Mahogany. The stain is the boring old light Oak but this time has FOUR coats of Polyurethane to protect it from your vigorous attack on defenseless blueprints.
· The table extensions are Red Oak with Mahogany ends. Four coats of Poly cover the light Oak stain.
· The pull knobs on the table extensions are “natural” Cocobola. I finally got a chance to do a bit of lathe work. This gorgeous wood is NEVER stained. It is, however, “enhanced” with my secret “Witches Brew” for lathe stuff. Don’t ask me the formula or I will have to have to you “eliminated”.
· The “Flying W” is made from natural Bloodwood. Once again, we NEVER stain Bloodwood. Protection, however, is attained by applying several coats of Polyurethane.
I hope that you have learned your lesson for the LAST time! Your professional image will NEVER be enhanced by relying on your old man to contribute to your office décor!!
Love, ???????
dad
It did NOT work!!!
Pic 1 shows where my priorities are. :D
Pic 2 is where I try to get a bit of a tear from this demanding old broad. :rolleyes:
Pic 3 shows me on the left. :cool:
Pic 4 is deceiving. It looks as though she is going to give be an appreciative peck on the cheek. WRONG!! She is asking me why I am taking so long to finish her new printer table. :rolleyes:
The rest of the pics are self explanatory and the last two will be on a supplementary post.
Whatever, I'm giving up on this STUPID woodworking thing. I'm going to get a job as a "Tornado Chaser". It will be a LOT less stressful and demanding!! :)
Dale T. (Soon to be known as "Twister Thompson" of "Dizzy Dale")