Champion Of The Universe!! (pics)

[Dale Thompson]

Hi Folks,
Once again I think that I have managed to lower the bar even further than with some of my previous projects. :o I know that this is virtually impossible but never sell a retarded moron short. :cool: The first pic has to take the prize for the WORST jig ever devised in the history of uncivilized civilization!! :confused: Does anyone want to guess what it is for? Probably not! :rolleyes:

For you so-called friends who are always making fun of me, it is NOT that I am trying to turn a rectangular box into a cylinder. I tried that yesterday and gave up after seven tries. ;) I'm not stupid enough to try it EIGHT times. :p Such is the character of genius. :rolleyes:

The next four pics may give you a hint. The REAL reason will only be revealed after I receive the Nobel Prizes for Piece, Litachure and Dizine! :eek:

More pics will follow when this project is done - if ever? :)

Dale T.

[Dale Thompson]

Sorry folks,
My pics are not posting. I will try to update or redue this post. Something is wrong! :eek:

Dale T.

[Dan Gill]

Does failing to post the pictures qualify as the eighth time? :D

Don't sweat it. We all have days like that.

[Dale Thompson]

Does failing to post the pictures qualify as the eighth time? :D

Don't sweat it. We all have days like that.

Dan,
I have these problems EVERY day! :o Is anyone else having problems posting pictures? This IS my EIGHTH try, Dan! GRRRRR!! :eek:

Dale T.

[Corey Hallagan]

Uhmmm.....we are waiting........ .patiently..... kind of.... sort of.......

Corey :)

[Pat Salter]

Hurry, I can't hold my breath much longer................. :eek:

[Ken Fitzgerald]

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ :rolleyes: :p

[Brian Jarnell]

Came all the way from NZ to look at your pics,ah well.

[Karl Laustrup]

Pesh,

I'm on pins and needles waiting for the pics. :confused: :D

OUCH!!! One of 'em just hit a tender area. :eek: ;) Hurry, so I may relieve myself of the aforementioned pins and needles.

Karl

[John Hart]

This is a real interesting thread Dale. We don't know what you're making, you don't have pictures, and you are "Champion of the Universe". You certainly got everyone's attention!!:p (except Ken....He's asleep):D

[scott spencer]

The pics of a bunch of SMC members were great Dale!

:D

[Dale Thompson]

Everybody is a comedian. :rolleyes: Are there no sympathetic straight men on SMC?? :confused: One more shot and I'm going back to Reform School to resume my education!! :eek: :) It looks like I've got three of the five pics I wanted. I'll try another post to get the other two. :(

Anyway, thanks to all for your much appreciated support! :p

Dale T.

[John Hart]

You made your own Lincoln Log Dying contraption!!!

[Mike Parzych]

OK...I'll take a stab. The first pic is of a very nice paint mixing set-up?

[Don Baer]

I have no idea what it is but I can honestly say it's the first time I have ever seen anyone try to turn duct tape....:confused:

[Mike Tempel]

Better yet - fill that box with the appropriate finish and load it up with the Lincoln Logs and turn on the lathe for complete coverage. You know when the "spin cycle" is done when the cardboard soaks through enough to start slinging the logs about. Just gather them all up and put them on the drying contraption and take a pic and say "Hey, I meant to do that".

[Dave Brandt]

Is that an exotic species of cardboard? I've seen similar with the gray bands running through it. :p OK, how about a log dying drum?

[Dale Thompson]

Here's hoping! :confused:

Dale T.

[Bert Johansen]

Looks to me like you used your lathe to apply stain to the box. One clue is the dirty rag below the box. The second picture looks like you have stained a set of Lincoln Logs, as someone suggested. Sometimes when I use a red mahogany stain it looks pink until I apply a seal coat of shellac. Then it turns brown, as in your third picture.

Bert

[Brad Tallis]

Dale-

Does the box have some sand or similar in it to knock the "sharp edges" off of the logs? As the lathe spins the box around (slowly, I hope), it "sands" the logs?

Just my guess...

Brad

[John Hart]

I think it's time we suggested that SMC start a separate "Champion of the Universe Tooling and Jig" Forum

[Keith Burns]

I know what it is and I'm not telling....................

[Michael Gabbay]

Wow you turned a box! Genius!!! :D

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Dale....I just woke up.......A Lincoln Log....stainer/sander with a spin dry cycle?

[Tom Jones III]

Whatever it is, does PowerMatic know you are doing this?

My wife wanted me to push some 4x4 treated pine through my brand new PM 66 and brand new dado set. I told her that if PM found out, they would repossess the saw.

[Michael Stafford]

Dang, Dale, I am impressed, most people take a square piece of wood and turn it into something round. You have completely reversed the process and turned a piece of wood into a square cardboard box. I am not sure if an accolade such as Champion of the Universe applies but I might go for "Emperor of the North Pole". I used to hold that title but had to abdicate due to an unfortunate intern mishandling problem..... :eek: :p :D

I am sure there is a logical explanation for what you have done to a perfectly good Powermatic lathe..... I can hardly wait....Ken wake me when it finally gets posted..... :p :D

[John Hemenway]

Quack! I though I was having Red Green flashbacks! :)

Don't be a tease, Dale! Tell us what it is!!!!!!

[Chuck Harris]

My wife wanted me to push some 4x4 treated pine through my brand new PM 66 and brand new dado set. I told her that if PM found out, they would repossess the saw.


Request permission to use this in the future.;)

[Corey Hallagan]

Yup, he is mixing all of his dies and colors up in there. I think John is right, he's been watching to much Red Green!! But those logs you are making look great, how about a lincoln log building party, looks like fun!

Corey

[Tom Jones III]

Request permission to use this in the future.;)

Permission denied. The board has studied this evasive manuever and has determined that the resulting enemy fire will cause wounds that, while not life threatening, are far worse than if no evasive manuever were attempted. The only tactics the board can suggest at this time is total and complete capitulation.

[Bill Antonacchio]

Dale,

It looks to me you have made a tumbler to stain your Lincoln Logs without having to get your hands full of stain.

Has anyone told you about throw away gloves for staining jobs.

Seriously, if the number of pieces is large as evidently yours is, then using a sealed (duct tape) container would probably be a good way to do it. Are you putting some stain on a cloth or some other medium to transfer while in the tumbler?

Regards,
Bill

[Mike Parzych]

Wrong Bill.....I got it. The worlds first squirrel powered lathe. Brilliant and quite economical as the squirrels work for peanuts.

[Per Swenson]

Mike,


Who wrote, " Brilliant and quite economical as the squirrels work for peanuts."

Sorry not Dale's squirrels. He uses those to spin his hard drive via a

Lil Rascals contraption. Hence the picture posting problem.

Per

[Effie Lever]

Come’ on Dale, the suspense is killing me! ;)

[Steve Clardy]

Sheeeesh Dale. Yer killing everyone here.:cool:

Come on come on.:confused: :confused:

Next phase, I'll see you on the Red Green show, and then I'll know what you really look like and can do.:eek: :eek: :D

[Steve Stube]

I'm guessing he is tumbling a batch of logs with a bunch of Lincolns (pennys) to give them that old familiar non-flat surface effect. Doing it this way they can actually be called "Lincoln Logs" without patent infringment, right?

But then who can understand the mind of someone from that far North.

[Don Baer]

I bet I know. After he finished them he decided to put them in the box on the lathe so that he can honestly tell people that he "turned" all of them on his lathe.

[Dale Thompson]

You made your own Lincoln Log Dying contraption!!!

John,
BINGO!! :) YOU'RE RIGHT!! :D It is great to see another person who can think at my myopic level! Very soon, you can expect to get a visit from the "PESHTIGO PRIZE PATROL" (the famous PPP). Your prize will be the terrycloth rag (shown in pic #1) that emerged from the very first prototype "contraption". :eek:

John, don't be intimidated by the bright lights, cameras and international press corps. Just tell them modestly that you don't REALLY think that you are a herioic genius. They will take it from there and the cover of Newsweek can't be far behind! :cool: Also, don't be upset by the ruts in your lawn that will be made by the remote network and cable trucks. It's the price that you pay for being famous. :(

The Story: I got sick and tired of watching my 22 month old grandson get bored with his $20-50, battery-operated toys that winked, blinked, rolled, fluttered, sang and spun in the same monotonous manner. After about an hour, he was more interested in the box than in the toy. :( The box says, "Interactive"! Yeah right, just like the combat boots that my mother used to wear!! As a kid, I don't EVER recall being bored by my Lincoln Logs or, later, my Erector Set. The possibilities were limited only by the klutzy way that I put them together. YEP! Even way back then!

The Solution: I "dipped" the 12, 10 and 8 inch logs (40 of each) in the stain using a cheap aluminum baking pan. The logs were made from 3/4" by 3/4" Maple sticks that I rounded off with a 1/8" radius router bit. Since it was Maple, I let them soak from about an hour. I then hand-rubbed each of them!! :eek: By this time my back and patience were KILLING me! I then looked at the 6, 4 and 2" logs. OUCH! You can NEVER make too many 2" logs. As you can see in pic #2, I made about 160 of them. How do you hand-rub those little buggers? Therein came the "contraption" idea. It worked better than I would have thought on the 2" logs. The finish was really even. Again, I "dipped" the logs, let them sit for about an hour and put them in the "contraption". The VS on the lathe was a real help here. I cranked it down to about 10 RPM and let it go for an hour. The same thing was done with the 4" and 6" logs. I even got a visit from my wife on this one. She said that she had NEVER heard that sound in my shop before. When she saw my setup, she immediately passed out from laughing. ;)

I don't know what would happen if you had to run your lathe at, say, 200 RPM. I would stand back and be prepared to duck. :eek:

Lastly, you folks have totally destroyed my self-esteem with your cruel and impatient comments on my archaic contributions to this Forum. I am hereby giving up on trying to complete a WWing project. I am going to focus my genius on something simple. Getting the Space Shuttle launched on schedule is the first thing that comes to mind!! ;)

Dale T.

[Mark Singer]

From a design standpoint Dale is really breaking new ground.....we are seeing things that are rare and worthy of attention or someting....I often take a fine piece of wood and carefully cut it with a fine saw ....then scrape and eventually hit with a large mallet and see how many pieces I have...this is the power of the universe...come to think of it Depak Chopra is a fine wood worker....books are a wood product....and what you give out comes back in one form or another....Another form is the creativity of Java to make interesting sculptures twice a day....Myriam and I appreciate them and the Vet says that is a good sign! Oh well...like they say its always something...either a small piece of meat between your teeth (then no one hears you....they just watch the meat) or something.

Dale is putting it together and I can't begin to say what it really is or where it exsists.....from nothing comes everything and back to the beggining where it all began....

[Corey Hallagan]

That is awesome Dale, your grandson will love it I am sure. I know I loved mine and I love those. I still want to come up and build!! Thats about 500 pieces :-) I bought a set for my son when he was a kid and some cavalry and indians to go with them. Different time I guess... never caught on with.... HIM but I enjoyed it!

Corey

[Dale Thompson]

From a design standpoint Dale is really breaking new ground.....we are seeing things that are rare and worthy of attention or someting....I often take a fine piece of wood and carefully cut it with a fine saw ....then scrape and eventually hit with a large mallet and see how many pieces I have...this is the power of the universe...come to think of it Depak Chopra is a fine wood worker....books are a wood product....and what you give out comes back in one form or another....Another form is the creativity of Java to make interesting sculptures twice a day....Myriam and I appreciate them and the Vet says that is a good sign! Oh well...like they say its always something...either a small piece of meat between your teeth (then no one hears you....they just watch the meat) or something.

Dale is putting it together and I can't begin to say what it really is or where it exsists.....from nothing comes everything and back to the beggining where it all began....

Dear Mr. Moderator,
I agree with every word that you have just said. You have demonstrated phenomenal insight!? :confused: Is that why ice cream doesn't have bones? ;)

Dale T.

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Dale......how are you going to launch that SpaceShuttle from that PM? :confused: :rolleyes: :D

[Dale Thompson]

Dale......how are you going to launch that SpaceShuttle from that PM? :confused: :rolleyes: :D

Ken,
It's just a matter of putting the right "spin" on the subject. Ask ANY politician! ;) When we were kids, we just cut the heads off of a bunch of wooden (farmer) matches and packed them into a pipe. When ignited, those babies would hit orbit - unless, or course, a neighbors window jumped into our "launch window". Advanced technology brought us into the "carbide" era. That's the stuff that miners used to use for lighting their headlamps. Add a bit of "spit" to the carbide pebbles and they gave off methane gas, I think. Anyway, using my Aunt's ironing board as a launch platform, we could put a 2" pipe right in the middle of Moscow - or was it Miami - or Singapore - or Quebec - or Capetown, etc. :confused: Usually it managed to find the glass in my grandmas greenhouse! :eek:

Dale T.

[John Hart]

Golly Dale...such an honor you have bestowed on me! Regretfully, it is an honor that I simply do not deserve. There are so many much more skilled guessers on this forum and I know deep in my heart that MY guess was first because I spend too much time on the internet. So, while ruts in my lawn would be an improvement to my landscaping, I must pass...and suggest you award it to Ken Fitzgerald who didn't lose his cool and spent his time wisely while you were trying to figure out your pics. Thank You

[Dale Thompson]

ruts in my lawn would be an improvement to my landscaping,

John,
Good decision! My wife always complained about them when she was cutting the grass with her lawn tractor. Being the great guy that I am, I sold her tractor and bought her a Weed Eater - no more complaints about ruts!! ;) :)

Dale T.

[Karl Laustrup]

Pesh, your brilliance is outshown only by the sun in the sky. :cool: :)

I am truly in awe of the originality of the thought processes that went into this revelation. :)

I don't think "Champion" is appropriate though. I think "Grand PooBah of the Universe", :) :D or at least northern Wisconsin, is more appropriate. I shall work on a fitting momento for your achievment. Please do not expect it anytime soon.

If Peshtigo ever shows up on a map, I shall forthwith and with great haste make my way to bask in the aura of the "Grand PooBah" of Peshtigo, although you will have elevated yourself to a much higher status by then, I'm sure. ;)

In closing [aren't you glad], if you discover a road that leads down this way, please feel free to drop in. We can go to the greasy spoon down the hill. No food, just greasy spoons. :eek: :D :D

[Vaughn McMillan]

Dale, I'm a bit disappointed. I was thinking the original pics showed the beginning of a project to turn a cardboard box down to a paper towel roll. Actually, it's a great idea, and I'll bet the little guy will love them. (And add me to the list of kids who spent hours building stuff with my Lincoln Logs back in the day.)

Mark Singer...that is some deep stuff, man. We're talkin' the roll up your pant legs and hold up your watch kinda deep. ;) We can all learn a lot from you. A lot of what, we're not sure, but whatever it is, it's a lot. :D

- Vaughn

[David Wilson]

Ken,
It's just a matter of putting the right "spin" on the subject. Ask ANY politician! ;) When we were kids, we just cut the heads off of a bunch of wooden (farmer) matches and packed them into a pipe. When ignited, those babies would hit orbit - unless, or course, a neighbors window jumped into our "launch window". Advanced technology brought us into the "carbide" era. That's the stuff that miners used to use for lighting their headlamps. Add a bit of "spit" to the carbide pebbles and they gave off methane gas, I think. Anyway, using my Aunt's ironing board as a launch platform, we could put a 2" pipe right in the middle of Moscow - or was it Miami - or Singapore - or Quebec - or Capetown, etc. :confused: Usually it managed to find the glass in my grandmas greenhouse! :eek:

Dale T.

Dale
I could be wrong but I believe carbide generates atceteline.

[Per Swenson]

Not to hijack the thread but just for clarification

I thought this might help.

Acetylene is an odourless, colourless gas produced by a process that uses two abundant and inexpensive materials: limestone and coal. Calcium carbonate (limestone) is first converted to calcium oxide, and coal is converted to coke. These two products react producing calcium carbide, which reacts with water forming acetylene gas, C₂H₂.

Per

[Don Selke]

I am just glad He figued out the pictures, Now we do not have to call the picture police!!! (Tylor of course):) :D Very interesting project.

[Dale Thompson]

ALL you guys are a REAL stitch! Have ANY of you ever heard of "Political Correctness"? Your names have already been submitted to the assassins who "eliminate" charter members of AARP!! :cool: Now I know what it means when people use the phrase, "Big fish eat little fish". :eek: I hope that you are all proud of yourselves! :rolleyes: Do you comedians have ANY idea what a psychiatrist costs these days? :(

Karl, you don't want me to visit the Dells to go to one of your "Gag and Vomit" honkey-tonks. You want to drown me in one of your water parks.

Per, since you obviously have a knowledge of chemistry, please explain to me how we can combine a highly toxic and explosive (in water) metal like Sodium with a deadly, explosively oxidizing gas like Chlorine and sprinkle the result on our triple-double bacon cheeseburger and greasy french fries.! :confused: YOUR science is TOTALLY illogical!! :eek: By the way, I have to use spell check to spell the word "gas". How can you expect me to spell Acetylene? Is this another slip in logic?

Lastly, Mr. Illogical, is it true that one of the reasons that miners used the Acetylene gas to fuel their headlamps was that it would change color in the presence of potentially dangerous Methane, thus warning them of potential danger? :confused: AW - forget it! How can I expect a reasonable exchange of information between two Scandinavians? :D :)

For the REST of you -- :p

Dale T.

[Karl Laustrup]

You want to drown me in one of your water parks.



You have a choice of 6 [six], and I'll let you pick!!!!;) :D :D Or there's always the river. How about a boat ride???

Karl

[John Hart]

You have a choice of 6 [six], and I'll let you pick!!!!...

Karl

That's pretty nice of you Karl. But that boat ride sure sounds fun, eh Dale??

[Dale Thompson]

Hi Folks,
Thanks for your participation in a rather "fun" thread. :) The attached pics are my first model of the Bastille that I am going to build when I become the cruel and wicked Exalted Czar ("Dells" can't spell "Czar" so he uses the term "Grand Poobah" because nobody will know if it is spelled right or not) of the vast Empire of Suburban Peshtigo. ;) From the uppermost pamparts, I can watch over my peasants and make sure that they are doing the Czar's work in an efficient manner. :cool:

Their taxes will be comprised of many 2" by 14" by 12' perfectly flat boards and 16" diameter burls of Oak, Mahogany, Teak, Black Walnut, Cherry, Cocobolo, Kingwood, Padauk, Tulipwood , Bloodwood and Ebony, among others. :D :) If any of them is foolish enough to bring even a SLIVER of Purpleheart, they will be unceremoniously and instantly beheaded!! :mad:

My Royal Banner will be totally white. There are two reasons for this: First, it will compliment the yellow streak down my back when it comes to physical combat. Second, it reflects the snow white content of my inner being. ;) Externally, my being is not all that pure. I REALLY need a shave, a shower and a haircut. :eek: It's a good thing that my shower spouts battery acid or I could never become "socially acceptable"! :cool:

Thanks again, folks, and, for you "senior" citizens, " G'night George - G'night Gracie". :)

Dale T.

[Steve Clardy]

Lol. The last pic is the best Dale.
Good looking stack of LOGS.

[Karl Laustrup]

Pesh, I am in awe of your talents. :D AGAIN!!!

I didn't realize anyone could stack it so high. :eek: :D

Of course, it would take a grand master stacker of the first order, and maybe even the second and third order to get a stack that high. You, my friend, have been practicing stacking and/or piling it. ;) :D

You weren't thinking of wearing that scuba gear when you visit the water parks and take that boat ride, were you? :confused: You would stand out like a sore thumb and everyone would know your not from around here. ;) :D You would need to wear your SPEEDO's :cool: for maximum effect on the water slides and lazy river rides. :cool:

Dells

P.S. If you could let me know when you're coming, I could notify the local constable as well as the media that the "Grand POOBAH" aka "TSAR" [don't know how to spell it the other way] of the northwoods is gracing our humble lives with his presenc[t]s.

Good night Mrs. Calabash, where ever you are!!!

[Lee DeRaud]

I didn't realize anyone could stack it so high. :eek: :D

Of course, it would take a grand master stacker of the first order, and maybe even the second and third order to get a stack that high. You, my friend, have been practicing stacking and/or piling it. ;) :D Definitely "third order": he started with a BS (you know what that is), progressed to an MS ("more of the same"), and now he has a PhD ("Piled Higher and Deeper").:p :cool:

[Karl Laustrup]

Definitely "third order": he started with a BS (you know what that is), progressed to an MS ("more of the same"), and now he has a PhD ("Piled Higher and Deeper").:p :cool:

Thanks Lee.

I think "Grand POOBAH" PH&D, of the north woods has a nice ring. :D

Of course at the rate Pesh is building stuff there won't be any woods left, so maybe it will be flat and barren by the time he's through. ;) :D :eek:

Karl

[mike malone]

ok...you've turned a 2500$ lathe into a tumbler??
regards
mike

[Keith Hooks]

Dale, go ahead and admit that you really built these logs for yourself. The poor kid will be lucky if he gets to play with them by the time he's a teenager. :D

[Dale Thompson]

Dale, go ahead and admit that you really built these logs for yourself. The poor kid will be lucky if he gets to play with them by the time he's a teenager. :D

Keith,
By the time he lays his grubby little fingers on THOSE logs he better be a PhD with liability insurance to cover any damage that he inflicts on the logs. ;) :cool: ENOUGH of this "Mr. Niceguy" stuff!! The little rugrat can't even say "grandfather" yet. When he sees me with my SMC hat on and a tape measure on my belt, all I get is raised little arms, a big smile and an exited little voice saying, "PA PA"!! I always ask myself the SAME question. "You drove almost 200 miles for THIS??" I think that I will grow to like him when we both stop wearing diapers. ;)

"NA NA" and "PA PA" get to have him for FIVE days starting TOMORROW at 3:30 PM!! :) :) :)

Dale T.

Dale T.

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Jeez....Dale! First you cave into the daughter's every whim...... :eek: Now you're taking up with the rugrat for 5 days :eek: ............And you try so hard to come acrossed as a "tough guy"! ;) :D We won't hear from you for 5 days! Enjoy! :)