View Full Version : Guy Rules

Jay Knoll
06-29-2005, 8:47 PM
SWMBO passed this on from an email she received from one of her girl friends, I can't stop laughing, and hope you find it amusing as well

Maybe someone will start producing a laser engraved sign for the workshop!

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down
We need it up, you need it down You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!

roy knapp
06-29-2005, 9:26 PM
Thats great but i was just wondering that if this got in the wrong hands, could it be used as grounds for devorce?:confused:

Randy Meijer
06-29-2005, 10:13 PM
.....Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.....

Probably going to be more than just one night!!!:D :D

Dave Anderson NH
06-30-2005, 10:45 AM
Go ahead, I dare you!! In fact I double dare you. You'll definately find out for sure if she has a sense of humor.:D

Jay Knoll
06-30-2005, 11:30 AM
I know my wife has a sense of humor, after all she sent the email to me!

Have a good laugh


Roger Everett
06-30-2005, 12:42 PM
Is this like "Men are from Mars , Women are from another planet ( some from Venus).

Chris Padilla
06-30-2005, 3:11 PM
Ha! Good stuff, Jay! I'd like to see something along the lines of: "I can open all my own jars." although it doesn't quite flow....

Vaughn McMillan
06-30-2005, 5:28 PM
I know my wife has a sense of humor, after all she sent the email to me!

Have a good laugh

Same case here...I first saw this a couple weeks ago when SWMBO forwarded the e-mail from her office to me. It's great stuff, wherever it came from. :)

- Vaughn