Lost a friend

[Jay Jolliffe]

I lost a friend on Thursday. I wish I could say it was from old age, died in his sleep, or some disease.....Well it was from a disease called alcoholism.
He lived a good life & also drank his whole life. It's sad to see someone do this to himself. He asked for help a many times but you have to want it for it to work. So on Thursday he decided to end his life. I guess he couldn't do it him self so he put himself in a situation where the police did it for him. I'm really sad that he chose this way to go & now the officer that shot him will live with that the rest of his life. I hope others that have that problem find the right help or reason to live. I quit 25 yrs. ago & am happy I did....

[Sean Troy]

I lost a friend on Thursday. I wish I could say it was from old age, died in his sleep, or some disease.....Well it was from a disease called alcoholism.
He lived a good life & also drank his whole life. It's sad to see someone do this to himself. He asked for help a many times but you have to want it for it to work. So on Thursday he decided to end his life. I guess he couldn't do it him self so he put himself in a situation where the police did it for him. I'm really sad that he chose this way to go & now the officer that shot him will live with that the rest of his life. I hope others that have that problem find the right help or reason to live. I quite 25 yrs. ago & am happy I did....

I quit 19 years ago and I too am happy I did. There are a lot of us willing to help but the person must want it as Jay said. No one can make another stop. Sad story to hear as we do all to often.

[Ted Calver]

Sorry for your loss Jay. Thanks for posting. The holidays are stressful for a lot of people and maybe doubly so for those dealing with personal demons. It's a shame, but friends and family can only do so much. Don't beat yourself up.

[paul cottingham]

I lost a friend on Thursday. I wish I could say it was from old age, died in his sleep, or some disease.....Well it was from a disease called alcoholism.
He lived a good life & also drank his whole life. It's sad to see someone do this to himself. He asked for help a many times but you have to want it for it to work. So on Thursday he decided to end his life. I guess he couldn't do it him self so he put himself in a situation where the police did it for him. I'm really sad that he chose this way to go & now the officer that shot him will live with that the rest of his life. I hope others that have that problem find the right help or reason to live. I quite 25 yrs. ago & am happy I did....

I am sorry to hear about your friend. Its true that some people just cant make it work, no matter how hard they try. i believe AA refers to such folks as "unfortunates" and for good reason. Also, holidays bring out the demons for many alcoholics, sober or not. I am sober 30 years on January 29 and still struggle.
Good for you for sticking by him all this time.

[Frederick Skelly]

I'm sorry Jay.
May God give him peace and rest.
Fred

[Jay Jolliffe]

Thanks for the kind words...He was a tourtored soul I feel. I only new him for 11 yrs. Several yrs ago his daughter died. I really don't know how but I think he told me it was an overdose. Two yrs ago his wife died who he was married at the age of sixteen. He was 61 when he died. Last September we went to his wedding. Unfortunately the woman he married is very nice she has the same disease he had & I know misery love company. So now I feel his suffering is over & now the rest of us I hope we learn something from this ......

[Myk Rian]

My second birthday was Oct. 26, 1989. Checked myself into Brighton hospital, and spent a month there. Not a drop since.
It's hard to see someone waste their life away. That's what I was doing.
Condolences on losing your friend.

[ray hampton]

the craving for whiskey and certain foods are strong enough to knock a strong man to his knees, Please give them the roses that they desire BEFORE they died

[Jay Jolliffe]

He was a big drinker of Black Velvet....So I guess the stock will be going down. :rolleyes:

[Raymond Fries]

So sorry for the loss of your friend. I know some who have died from the drink as well but in other ways.

Try to have a nice holiday season.

Take Care and Enjoy Life...

...it is precious.

[Andrew Joiner]

Sorry Jay. I've been clean and sober 38 years. We've seen some tragic deaths in our sober community here, too. Fortunately the miracle of recovery outweighs the losses.

Jay,Sean,Paul and Myk , I'm grateful your sober today!

[Harold Burrell]

Sorry about your loss. Tragic. Absolutely tragic.

You said something that stood out to me:


...you have to want [help] for it to work...

I agree...and disagree. I would bet that there was a part of him that DESPERATELY wanted help...and there was a part that didn't. As badly as one might want to stay on the "wagon"...there are an awful lot of bumps along this road of life trying to knock you off. The fact is, there are some things we cannot do alone. No matter how badly we want it, or how hard we try.

Stuff like this just reminds me that there are a lot of hurting people out there.

It also serves to remind me just how much we need each other...and how much we are needed.

[Bill Cunningham]

Several members of my family had the same problem, my father died at 53 . I used to drink, but when I started teaching, our collage had a pub night every week and students were always offering to buy me a beer. I didn't like the idea of my students buying me beers, so I just started saying "sorry I don't drink, you can get me a ginger ale if you like(they were free)" I said "sorry I don't drink," for ten years, and if you say something long enough you begin to believe it yourself. I enjoy a oz of scotch every so often, a 24oz bottle lasts me 6 months. When alcoholism runs in your family you have to be careful.

[Jay Jolliffe]

I thought this was closed.

[David Weaver]

It looks like it was scrubbed.

Sorry to hear about your friend. I lost a relative to the same thing, except he didn't require police involvement. He had eliminated the alcohol from his life, but it left a void that ate him up. The alcohol had nearly killed him not long before, and it was threatening his job, too, even though he was competent at work the smell of alcohol from the night before persisted.

I had a baseball coach that was the same way - he was so permeated with alcohol that even when he hadn't been drinking on a given day, he still smelled like alcohol - all of us dreaded getting stuck on first base, because he was a close talker, too, and really liked to lecture the kids about how they should've been on second or third if they'd have done something better.

Some stories don't have happy endings, and the pain doesn't end with the person who leaves, it's left behind, but hopefully all will find peace sooner rather than later.

[Dennis Peacock]

Folks.....PLEASE keep this as a place to pass condolences and attempts to understand the heartfelt feelings of the OP.
This thread is still subject to being closed.

[Joe Tilson]

Jay,
I am truly sorry for your loss. Just to let you know, my friend Jerald took his own life Monday night. I feel your pain.
Joe

[Jay Jolliffe]

Sorry to hear that Glen...It's such a shock when it happens...