Only in America - (Long w/pics)

[Dale Thompson]

I’m going to be FILTHY rich very soon!
Hi Folks,
Some of you may have seen the scrapbooking cabinet that I made for my daughter last year. That one cost me about $450, not including a 350 mile round-trip delivery drive. The “big ticket” item on that one was the eighteen full-extension slides for the drawers and desktop and, of course, the wood, the lights and the finishing materials.

This year she needed a table/cabinet (pictured) for her living room that matched the rest of the furniture. This time I’m only out about $100. That was basically for the Euro (invisible) hinges with the 170 deg. opening capability, a $42 3/4” rounding bit and other minor incidentals such as the finishing stuff, pocket screws and a bit of wood. The delivery distance was the same so that is a non-factor. :confused:

If my math is correct, I increased my profit margin by 450% on the table/cabinet versus the scrapbooking cabinet!! I MUST BE AN ACCOUNTING GENIUS!! :eek: :D

Lastly, I made a portrait of John Paul II (pictured) with a pattern slightly modified from Gary Browning’s book, Scroll Saw Portraits. I gave it to the publisher of our local weekly newspaper. I am trying to bribe her to stop printing those “WANTED” posters with my picture on them that Tom, our postmaster, keeps hanging on the wall of his establishment. Another Tom, our Police Chief, keeps following me every time I walk into our local bank to flirt with the cashiers. Anyway, I only have about $1 invested in the John Paul portrait. I spent $.90 for the glass and about a dime on the cloth backing. The wood was free from my scrap pile. :)

If my advanced math credentials serve me correctly, my profit margin from the table/cabinet to the portrait increased by an incredible 10,000%!! I can’t wait for my next project! ;) :cool:

I’ve already ordered a stable of Red Ferraris. How many colors can I get on a Lamborghini? Do I build a double-sized Bill Gates estate next to him or do I build eight or nine downsized versions in exotic locations around the world? I NEED HELP! :confused:

Aside from how to get REALLY rich, REALLY quick, I learned three things on the table/cabinet project:

- Euro Hinges are GREAT! They came with NO instructions so I had to spend six days learning all of the adjustment options. Fortunately, the factory settings were good because by the time I installed them I had forgotten everything that I had learned. With the adjustments, I now have to use only ½” shims on my hinges instead of my usual 1” shims. :)

- If pocket screw holes are visible and objectionable, they can be easily covered by using an appropriate dowel or one of the commercially available “inserts”. When the glue dries, simply take your router or laminate trimmer, insert a ½” box core bit set to zero depth and get rid of the excess. A minor bit of sanding may be required.

- My home shop doesn’t permit the spraying of lacquer. Water-Based Polycrylic is very close, if not equal, to that process. With an “open time” of 10-20 minutes, I can apply five coats of Polycrylic to a project in less time than it would take to apply ONE coat of a solvent-based Polyurethane. The best part, however, is that the “instant” drying does not allow dust to settle on the surface. The finish is SMOOOOTH! It’s the best and smoothest finished that has ever left my shop. Another advantage – it cleans up with soap and warm water!!

In conclusion, be nice to me. With the explosion of my profit margins, I may soon own your town, city, country, continent, etc. ;)

Dale T.

[Corey Hallagan]

Wow, that is a very very nice looking cabinet Dale!! I love the design, shape everything. That scrollsawed portait is very cool, I haven't ever done one of those before, looking forward to doing one.
Corey

[Lee DeRaud]

The cabinet is really cool...I especially like those door "pulls".

Your math-fu, on the other hand, is incredibly weak. :p

[Doug Edwards]

Looks like AOL accounting to me. Since about 500 people will look at this, you have 5000 potential customers (everyone is in a household of ten, right?) who could potentially pay up to $1000 each for one of these fine pieces of art. This makes your projected gross sales five million dollars for just this week. You better start hiring.

BTW nice work... Love the curved corners.

[John Hart]

Dale...I think you may have miscalculated your profit margin. That smile on your daughter's face is easily worth a couple a hundred percent alone!

Nice work. You're a good papa.

[Per Swenson]

Dale,
That is very nice work.
You will of course need a production facility
now that the fast track to fame and fortune
has landed at your door. We represent out of business
southern furniture makers who are looking to unload their
tools to pay their creditors. Can you imagine a sliding table saw
for under a thousand dollars?
On a more serious note. You wrote,"Another Tom, our Police Chief, keeps following me every time I walk into our local bank to flirt with the cashiers."
Dale, only about 50 people are crazy enough to live north of Green bay.
I think the police chief just needs a friend.

Per

[Dale Rodabaugh]

That is very nice work.I would say your daughter is pleaed with it.

[Karl Laustrup]

Pesh, that cabinet is wonderful. And all this time I thought you were like me and only made sawdust and little pieces of wood! :D I can see I'm going to have to raise the bar a notch or two. Of course then I'll have to make/buy taller stools. Hey, maybe you could make some for me. Your margin on those could be astronomical. Then you could own the Astro's not to mention the Nomicals. :D Yep, I can see you becoming a typhoon in rather short order.

Is everyone you make things for as happy about your making all this money as the woman in the picture? You say it's your daughter, but I'm not so sure, although if she is your daughter she would be happy about inheriting all that money you're making.

Pesh, again that is a wonderful piece and I can tell your daughter is proud to have it.

Karl

P.S. I would hope that if your delivering it down this way you would stop in for a visit and a cold one.

[John Renzetti]

Hi Dale, Great job. I like the design of the cabinet, the door pulls really add a great accent. Forget the profit. It's obvious that your daughter really appreciates your work.
Once you get the hang of the Eurohinges you'll really like them. Keep churning out those cabinets with all those hinges and your local sales rep for Blum, Grass or whoever will make you a nice offer on a hinge insertion machine.
take care,
John

[Richard Wolf]

You've done your math teacher proud!!

Nice work anyway!

Richard

[Mark Singer]

Dale,

Great job as usual! Great financial analysis as well! We could use you in Washington....work on the economy...make things profitable....remove dead wood and make something from it!

[Warren White]

Dale,
Those are very, very nice! Your math is counter to my wife's math. She comments about the $5000 paper towel holder I have in the garage/shop as if it were a problem. Go figure! ;)

How did you get the rounded ends of the cabinet? I have a guess, but I would rather hear it direct from the expert.

I would also like to hear more details on the spray equipment and material you use. The finish on the cabinet is really great.

Fantastic job!!!

Warren

[Jim Becker]

Very kewel, Dale! Nice cabinet...daughter-dearest is very lucky to have you!! (But you knew that already... ;) )

[Dan Forman]

Dale---Glad to hear your financial picture is looking up. Good thing you ordered those Ferrari's before the dollar falls any further behind the euro, not that that should be a concern for you anymore though.

The cabinet is very nice, it is easy to see that your daughter approves as well.

I have never seen a portait such as you have done. Very imaginative and well executed.

Dan

[Norman Hitt]

Dale, Mighty Fine looking cabinet, and I'm glad to see you're doing so well Financially and are not so Greedy as to keep all the Profits for yourself, seeing as how you hired a First Class Model to show your Piece. That alone should raise the value of your work considerably, (since you built that too), :D :D 'Course, I may be somewhat Biased in my observatrions, since I've always been a sucker for Redheads and Dimples. :) (At least the hair LOOKS slightly Red in the picture).

On another note, maybe you need to make a picture of Sherlock Holmes for the Police Chief so he'll leave you alone, as I can imagine that him tailing you could somewhat cramp one's Style when trying to get some Serious Flirting done at the Bank. :D :D

Keep the Projects Coming.

[Dale Thompson]

Wow, that is a very very nice looking cabinet Dale!! I love the design, shape everything. That scrollsawed portait is very cool, I haven't ever done one of those before, looking forward to doing one.
Corey

Corey,
Thanks for your kind comments. :) As for the "portrait", try it and I'm sure that you will like it. A suggestion: Straight blades on regular lumber, spiral blades on plywood. Just an opinion. :D

Dale T.

[Dale Thompson]

The cabinet is really cool...I especially like those door "pulls".

Your math-fu, on the other hand, is incredibly weak. :p

Lee,
The pull trapezoids had to match the existing furniture as in the third picture background. The factory stuff, however, only gave a "dovetail" angle to open the door. It was supposed to be "child-resistant". Yeah right! The 18 month-old grandson could open the door with ease. Every time I tried I broke one of my professionally manicured nails. :mad: I had to make my own tool to get the right undercut. It was an interesting experience.

Obviously you don't understand complex mathematical operations. ;) I can give you the name of the plumber who performed my frontal lobotomy if you PM me. :D I don't give out his name to just ANYONE! :cool:

Dale T.

[Dale Thompson]

Looks like AOL accounting to me. Since about 500 people will look at this, you have 5000 potential customers (everyone is in a household of ten, right?) who could potentially pay up to $1000 each for one of these fine pieces of art. This makes your projected gross sales five million dollars for just this week. You better start hiring.

BTW nice work... Love the curved corners.

Doug,
Thanks! It looks like you have a real good grasp of PRACTICAL math. :)
Congratulations!

Dale T.

[Dale Thompson]

Dale...I think you may have miscalculated your profit margin. That smile on your daughter's face is easily worth a couple a hundred percent alone!

Nice work. You're a good papa.

John,
A simple, "Thanks dad", and a hug with the warm feeling of a tear running down her cheek is beyond any material reward that I could ever want.

With that said, I wish that she could come up with a buck or two for gas money anyway. By the way, your papa thing rings a bell. The 18 month-old grandson calls his dad "daddy". I'm the one with the SMC hat on and the Stanley tape measure on my belt. He calls me pa pa! :)

Dale T.

[Dale Thompson]

Dale,
Dale, only about 50 people are crazy enough to live north of Green bay.
I think the police chief just needs a friend.

Per

Per,
Thanks for your comments. :) I have yet to count 50 crazy people who live north of Green Bay. :confused: Insane, brain-damaged mutants, etc. are numerous. A "crazy" person up here would easily be the Charter Member of the northern Wisconsin MENSA Society. :eek: The police chief IS becoming my friend. I spend more nights in jail than I do at home.

Quit PIKIN' on me! ;)

Dale T.

[Dale Thompson]

I can see I'm going to have to raise the bar a notch or two.
Karl

P.S. I would hope that if your delivering it down this way you would stop in for a visit and a cold one.[/QUOTE]

Karl,
Don't sweat raising the bar. Every time that they do that to me I just get a higher ladder. :) As a Cheesehead, you should know that LOWERING the bar is the key to success! ;) That way, when you don't make it (typical of me), you can always say that, "AW HECK - it wouldn't have mattered anyway". ;) :rolleyes:

I'm hoping that my new upcoming status as a TYPHOON will get me down your way in the near future. Have you ever heard of Phil Wenzel? I'm sure that you have because he was a State Trooper out of Lake Delton for over thirty years. You probably have collected many of his autographs. :(

Dale T.

[Dale Thompson]

You've done your math teacher proud!!

Nice work anyway!

Richard

Richard,
I'm self-taught at math and I'm really proud of my teacher. :D That guy is a GENIUS!! ;) :rolleyes:

Thank you for your comments and where in the heck is Long Island, NY? :confused:

Dale T.

[Richard Wolf]

Thank you for your comments and where in the heck is Long Island, NY? :confused:

Dale T.

Everything East of New York City.

Richard

[Dale Thompson]

Dale,

Great job as usual! Great financial analysis as well! We could use you in Washington....work on the economy...make things profitable....remove dead wood and make something from it!

Mark,
Thanks for the compliment. Also, I'm thinking about a remake of the Jimmy Stewart movie. It would be called, "Mr. Cheesehead Goes to Washington". My motto would NOT be, "NO MORE TAXES!!". It would be, "NO TAXES - PERIOD!! WHAT PART OF NO DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?" :cool:

Dale T.

[Dale Thompson]

Dale,
Those are very, very nice! Your math is counter to my wife's math. She comments about the $5000 paper towel holder I have in the garage/shop as if it were a problem. Go figure! ;)

How did you get the rounded ends of the cabinet? I have a guess, but I would rather hear it direct from the expert.

I would also like to hear more details on the spray equipment and material you use. The finish on the cabinet is really great.

Fantastic job!!!

Warren

Warren,
Hey Warren, get real! For the Feds, a $5000 towel holder is a bargain!! :D Tell that to your wife because ladies LOVE bargains!

The rounded ends were made with Oak plywood using the old "kerf bending formula". I've used it before but not with that high of a structure. It seemed to work OK. :) The "flats" are only visible in exactly the right light. Otherwise, you can "feel" them but you can't really "see" them. Let me know if I can give you some hints on this process. Whatever, you probably already know it better than I do. :o

The finish is quite simple - even for me. :eek: A furniture salesman would call it, "hand rubbed". I call it, "Glob it on and wipe off the dark spots and the runs". That is for the stain. For the last finishing step(s), please see my original post in this thread for my opinion on the newer water-based Polycrylics. They were applied with a brush and are, in my opinion, the greatest thing since the tack cloth for the home hobbiest who does not have spraying capability. :) :cool:

Dale T.

[Dale Thompson]

Everything East of New York City.

Richard

Richard,
Hey guy! Has it occurred to you that the earth is round? :cool: Wait till I tell Margaret Thatcher and Genghis Khan that their territories are on Long Island! :eek: :) ;)

Dale T.

[Tom Sontag]

Well Dale, as a former accountant with a picture-straightening personality, I must point out that your math is flawless but your cavalier abuse of accounting terms makes me shudder. Enron also had problems distinguishing sales growth with profit margins.

Nice cabinet.

[Dale Thompson]

Well Dale, as a former accountant with a picture-straightening personality, I must point out that your math is flawless but your cavalier abuse of accounting terms makes me shudder. Enron also had problems distinguishing sales growth with profit margins.

Nice cabinet.

Tom,
I'm caught and rightfully embarrassed. :o My use of the term "profit margins" was downright abusive. I should have held it to "profit". ;) Also, as I recall, a decrease in the negative column is really a positive. Therefore, my increased profit from the scrapbooking cabinet to the cabinet/table should have been $350 (the difference) divided by $450 or 78%. The increased profit from the table/cabinet to the "portrait" should have been $99 (the difference) divided by $100 or 99%. You must admit that neither of these values is bad for my burgeoning new Enron clone. My suggestion would be to buy my stock early and then sell when it has multiplied by a "real" factor of 75. :) :cool:

NOW - about those crooked pictures in your office -----!!?? :( :eek:

Thanks for the compliment. :) ;)

Dale T.

[Mark Singer]

The smille says it all......It is much like my daughter ...full of appreciation and of course life!

[Maurice Ungaro]

Dale, great work! The look on your daughter's face should be payment enough. I'd say you're a wealthy man indeed.

[Keith Christopher]

Question is, did your daughter pay you for it ? If you're like me and wouldn't charge your own daughter well, I'd say your % profit hovers somewhere around 0. :D

Very nice work Dale, you can see the appreciation from your daughter, which of course cannot hold ANY price.


Keith

[Dale Thompson]

Question is, did your daughter pay you for it ?

Keith

Keith,
As a father, you already know very well that daughters get EVERYTHING free!! ;) :eek: :eek:

All I get from her and the SIL are rugrats and an Aussie granddog. They are already having a negative impact on my profits. The less-than-two-year-old grandson has gotten several of my projects. The granddog has already found some of my stuff to be "tasty". The granddaughter is still a "baby" but she will get whatever she wants. :)

I hate to be mean but that's the way it is!! :cool: I just want them to know that I am a crabby old guy and certainly not a pushover! :cool: ;) :o

They've got to learn that life ain't no Rosewood Garden!! ;)

Dale T.

[Richard Wolf]

Richard,
Hey guy! Has it occurred to you that the earth is round? :cool: Wait till I tell Margaret Thatcher and Genghis Khan that their territories are on Long Island! :eek: :) ;)

Dale T.

Well Dale, I'm a man of few words. I meant, Everything East of NYC that belongs to New York State.
By the way, what do you mean the Earth is round??

Richard

[Dale Thompson]

By the way, what do you mean the Earth is round??

Richard

Richard,
Sorry about the "round" thing. :o I read that in some book years ago. I understand that the book is now banned in New York and Wisconsin. ;) :)

Sorry for the inconvenience. :( :)

Dale T.

[Keith Christopher]

Keith,
As a father, you already know very well that daughters get EVERYTHING free!! ;) :eek: :eek:



Oh how I know ! She even raids my wood pile every so often looking for some scrap ! I don't know about you but I don't have any ebony scrapwood. :eek:




Keith