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View Full Version : To whom do the turtles belong?



Phil Thien
01-20-2013, 5:28 PM
Okay, so this last Christmas (actually, about the beginning of December) my wife and daughters purchased a box of delicious turtles (you know, the chocolate covered pecan/caramel clusters) for a friend. That is a fact agreed upon by ALL.

My wife and kids claim that I hid the box of turtles out of site, so I would not be tempted to open and start eating them.

I claim I did no such thing, knowing they were a gift. Come-on, I'm not that out of control.

When the actual holiday arrived, the three of them called me at work to ask where the turtles were. I had no idea. They insisted I had hidden the turtles while they watched. I laughed and insisted that they just go to the cabinet where I hit them, and retrieve the turtles. They were unable to do this, so I argued that their claims of watching me "hide" the turtles didn't seem to hold much water.

The three of them replaced the gift for the person that they were intended. But they kept harping back to the missing box of turtles.

Since then, they have accused me of CONSUMING the turtles.

I have, the entire time, maintained my innocence.

Fast forward to just now, and I wanted to find a bite to eat. I opened a cabinet with some goods in it, looked all the way to the top, and low and behold, I noticed the missing box of turtles.

So I called my wife and kids (they are off picking up some items for one of the kids) and said "These turtles are mine, right? For the number of times I've been accused of eating these turtles, I may as well commit the crime."

The wife/kids do not agree. They seem to think they have a claim to the turtles.

So I ask you, who gets the turtles?

I've made this a poll so you may each vote and I can show my wife/kids how out of their minds they actually are.

Fred Perreault
01-20-2013, 6:06 PM
I suppose that a study group could be formed to discuss the charges, the evidence, and the opposing claims. Of course, a test of the evidence would be required to ascertain forensically whether the turtles recently discovered are actually the turtles that were bought and tucked away in good faith. It may be that there is a conspiracy afoot to implicate the "man" of the house in some sort of selfish, evil activity or that there is a plan afoot to shed unfavorable light on the accused in exchange for some need or want yet to be revealed by the accusers ( a shopping trip for mom, a teen party hosted at the accusers' home...??). If the turtles are soft and moist, rather than hard and dry.... probably a plant. I could come by and run the taste test for ya.. :) :)

Paul McGaha
01-20-2013, 6:12 PM
Phil,

I think you will get more turtles in the long run if you go ahead and hand them over. And I think you will be some points ahead for all the false accusations they put on you.

My daughter buys me a box of turtles for Christmas and my birthday. A very nice gift to get.

PHM

daniel lane
01-20-2013, 6:31 PM
I'd say eat some and share the rest, then insist they buy more (to share) to compensate you for the false allegations. Everyone wins, except the turtles! :)


daniel

Jim O'Dell
01-20-2013, 6:41 PM
Ok, it takes a guy from Texas to settle this....send the box to me and you won't have to fight about it!! (just don't address it to Mr and Mrs...... Jim.

glenn bradley
01-20-2013, 7:00 PM
Those are absolutely your turtles. You would be a harsh individual indeed to allow those useless calories to attack your loved ones. Eat them immediately.

Pat Barry
01-20-2013, 7:06 PM
Ok Phil, You hid the turtles and now you found them. They are yours, but, why did you have to let them know. Now you must share them.

Matt Meiser
01-20-2013, 8:29 PM
Why did you even tell them the turtles were found??????

Phil Thien
01-20-2013, 8:34 PM
Why did you even tell them the turtles were found??????

LOL, because they can't convict you of murdering a man sitting in the courtroom.

Or at least I thought they couldn't.

What they do is amend the charges to kidnapping.

"Oh sure, you found the turtles, because you hid the turtles, and you knew where you had hid them."

Jim O'Dell
01-20-2013, 8:38 PM
So say if that were true, why didn't you eat them on the sly? I mean, you could have hid them in the shop. Or is that the first place they looked????? Jim.

Stephen Cherry
01-20-2013, 9:42 PM
I say whoever has any particular turtle in their mouth could be considered it's rightful owner.

Shawn Pixley
01-20-2013, 10:07 PM
I am old school. Pistols at dawn....

Tom Stenzel
01-20-2013, 10:24 PM
I am old school. Pistols at dawn....

I agree. I understand that turtles have lousy aim.

-Tom Stenzel

Joe Angrisani
01-20-2013, 10:35 PM
"Oh sure, you found the turtles, because you hid the turtles, and you knew where you had hid them."

I was waiting for that.....

Steven Green
01-21-2013, 1:10 AM
Having been in exactly the same postion I can say without question they are yours. The wife and cherubs should buy you another box just to show that they are contrite and apologetic. Didn't work out quite that way for me but we should strive for the best outcome we can every time we are unfairly accused.

Larry Whitlow
01-21-2013, 1:23 AM
If they are all gone, then the whole thing is moot.

mike holden
01-21-2013, 9:40 AM
Phil,
I would have eaten the turtles, and stashed the evidence (wrappers) in their hidey-holes; then at a suitable time "discovered" said evidence publicly and requested formal apologies and purchase of more turtles for *YOU* as an act of contrition. (grin)
That way you can have your turtles and eat more turtles too!
Mike

Scott Shepherd
01-21-2013, 9:48 AM
My question would be, are you the tallest one in the family? If so, you are clearly guilty as no one else could reach the secret spot you stashed them. If that's the case, you're guilty, guilty, guilty.... and the turtles shouldn't be part of this custody battle. It only hurts the turtles. They should be put up for a free stuff drawing so that can go to a home where they will be appreciated and not lost and ignored :p

Prashun Patel
01-21-2013, 9:48 AM
You paid the price in terms of assumed guilt, so they are yours.

I think Shakespeare said,
"If me doth the time, the turtles ith mine".

Mike Cutler
01-21-2013, 10:17 AM
Yep, most assuredly yours.

Lee Schierer
01-21-2013, 10:49 AM
You made a huge mistake. While you were in that cupboard, you should have done a quick inventory and determined what else was present that would be eligible as a snack. Then the next time your wife is in the kitchen ask her if there are any ?????? and could she bring them back with her, know she would have to also find the turtles. Let her find the turtles and be forced to apologize and offer them to you since you were wrongfully accused.

Art Mulder
01-21-2013, 10:55 AM
The wife/kids do not agree. They seem to think they have a claim to the turtles.

So I ask you, who gets the turtles?

I've made this a poll so you may each vote and I can show my wife/kids how out of their minds they actually are.


Phil....

The real question, is do you want to win the battle (ie: argument), or win the war (ie: life/marriage)?

I've been married for 21 years, and I want to stay married. I would want to "win the war"; so I would cheerfully share the Turtles with my family, I would give up any and all arguments about who hid what, and I would probably make sure that I buy my wife some flowers and candy soon, just because...

As the wise man says: "Happy Wife, Happy Life"! ;)

Gordon Eyre
01-21-2013, 11:00 AM
A couple of thoughts spring to mind:

1. Finders keepers, losers weepers.
2. Possesion is 9/10 of the law.

Based on that they are either all yours or at the very least, 9/10 of them are.

Belinda Williamson
01-21-2013, 11:10 AM
I think you should get the turtles because any female who cannot detect the scent of Turtles, even wrapped and in a cupboard, does not deserve them.

Don't take my advice, because I'm not still married, but I would have handled the situation a little differently. My ex asked me to look for a receipt for him and instructed me to look in the shoebox on the top shelf of the closet. I eventually found the receipt, but not before I found something in another shoebox that he definitely did not want me to find. I removed the items from the box and left a note that read, "I found your movie collection. Let me know when you want to watch them again and I'll tell you where you can find them." Just leave a note saying you are holding the Turtles for ransom and see who offers the money up first. :D I mean, surely you couldn't have hidden then there . . . and then forgot about them, so obviously someone else is to blame.

David Weaver
01-21-2013, 11:34 AM
Return to Splinter what belongs to Splinter and your life will be good again. :)

Phil Thien
01-21-2013, 12:30 PM
Phil....

The real question, is do you want to win the battle (ie: argument), or win the war (ie: life/marriage)?

I've been married for 21 years, and I want to stay married. I would want to "win the war"; so I would cheerfully share the Turtles with my family, I would give up any and all arguments about who hid what, and I would probably make sure that I buy my wife some flowers and candy soon, just because...

As the wise man says: "Happy Wife, Happy Life"! ;)

We're just having fun. Been married 24 years, no box of turtles is going to come between us.

The truth is (I'm going to have to come clean here), that I MAY have hid the turtles in front of them, and we may have ALL forgotten where.

When I went looking for a snack, the light was hitting the cabinet just right and everything was very well illuminated, and there were the turtles. The wife/kids get a big kick out of my denials, and I got a kick out of them accusing me of secretly eating them.

Last night I opened the box and we all enjoyed a couple.

Here is the problem: They aren't very good. The chocolate and the caramel are good. The pecans seem to be tiny pecan pieces, with bits of SHELL, believe it or not. So I suspect the rest of the turtles will be ignored until someone tosses them.

And my tastes have changed. I'd rather have a tin of sardines anyhow.

But I do love giving my wife and kids a hard time. And they enjoy reciprocating. In fact, the day I wake up and she isn't teasing me about something is the day I know I'm in trouble.

Jim Underwood
01-21-2013, 1:01 PM
You shoulda saved 'em for Valentine's Day... ;)

David Weaver
01-21-2013, 1:24 PM
We're just having fun. Been married 24 years, no box of turtles is going to come between us.

The truth is (I'm going to have to come clean here), that I MAY have hid the turtles in front of them, and we may have ALL forgotten where.

When I went looking for a snack, the light was hitting the cabinet just right and everything was very well illuminated, and there were the turtles. The wife/kids get a big kick out of my denials, and I got a kick out of them accusing me of secretly eating them.

Last night I opened the box and we all enjoyed a couple.

Here is the problem: They aren't very good. The chocolate and the caramel are good. The pecans seem to be tiny pecan pieces, with bits of SHELL, believe it or not. So I suspect the rest of the turtles will be ignored until someone tosses them.

And my tastes have changed. I'd rather have a tin of sardines anyhow.

But I do love giving my wife and kids a hard time. And they enjoy reciprocating. In fact, the day I wake up and she isn't teasing me about something is the day I know I'm in trouble.

Hey, if you can design a separator, certainly you could spec out and produce some decent turtles.

Thien separator...

Thien turtle maker...

same number of syllables, same catchy ring.

Jim Rimmer
01-21-2013, 1:26 PM
I am currently in a similar situation. LOML purchases a fire proof safe for our important papers. She stashed the combination in a "safe place" and told me where at the time. Now said combination is lost and it appears to be my fault that it cannot be found. :D Rest assured, we have been married 44 years so it is not going to be a major issue; just a back and forth for awhile about who should know where the combo is.

Art Mulder
01-21-2013, 10:39 PM
And my tastes have changed. I'd rather have a tin of sardines anyhow.

Dear Phil's wife. Take him straight to the doctor. He's a very sick man. He needs an intervention. Regular doses of chocolate. Ban all seafood. No Anchovies Please!

;)

Rick Potter
01-22-2013, 3:12 AM
Phil,

Are you outa your MIND! You are arguing with females over CHOCOLATE??? They win by default, the man is always wrong.

That being said, here is what you should do......give them the turtles, bask in the credit for being such an open minded guy, let them eat all those stale, by now, turtles....then go get yourself some nice fresh ones.

It's a win/win.

Rick Potter

Ken Fitzgerald
01-22-2013, 10:52 AM
I never participate in polls. The results can be spun by the pollster to formulate any conclusion they desire.....:rolleyes:

Charles Wiggins
01-22-2013, 11:59 AM
I have several modes of thought on this.

1) I would have said that they belong to the intended recipient, but the gift was replaced, so that person drops out of the picture.

2) Who PAID for the turtles? And who paid for the replacement? If the answer is you, both times they're yours. If you bought the original, but one of the kids bought the replacement, then I'd say the original box is theirs, since the replacement went to the recipient.

3) I think there is some merit to your "done the time, so I should do the crime" scenario, but sharing would be more magnanimous and you'd have all the false accusations to hold over their heads.

4) Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers.

Jon McElwain
01-22-2013, 2:48 PM
Classic case of "Double Jeopardy." Double jeopardy is a law or defense that forbids a case from being heard again once a trial, conviction, and time served has occurred. So, if you were accused and punished for eating the turtles, but the turtles were later found, you can eat them without the fear of being tried again - you have already served your sentence. Watch the movie "Double Jeopardy" and you'll understand. Better yet, watch the movie with your family and afterwards break out the turtles and eat them in front of them!

Moses Yoder
01-22-2013, 3:23 PM
I think you should get the turtles because any female who cannot detect the scent of Turtles, even wrapped and in a cupboard, does not deserve them.

Don't take my advice, because I'm not still married, but I would have handled the situation a little differently. My ex asked me to look for a receipt for him and instructed me to look in the shoebox on the top shelf of the closet. I eventually found the receipt, but not before I found something in another shoebox that he definitely did not want me to find. I removed the items from the box and left a note that read, "I found your movie collection. Let me know when you want to watch them again and I'll tell you where you can find them." Just leave a note saying you are holding the Turtles for ransom and see who offers the money up first. :D I mean, surely you couldn't have hidden then there . . . and then forgot about them, so obviously someone else is to blame.


Yes, the notes are very effective. My oldest sister found my stash when I was a teenager and left a nice note. Yep, I'll never forget that. She did ask me not to be mad at her for snooping through my stuff but it seemed like an invasion of my privacy. Still, I got rid of the stash.