Any Stay at home Dads out there?

[Matt Day]

Our first child, a girl, was born 7 weeks ago and my wife and I couldn't be happier with her. I also quit my job about 7 weeks ago to be with my wife while she's on maternity leave (she's taking 10 weeks off, plus 4 weeks of half time) and to be a full time SAHD when she returns to work. I'm super excited for this life change, and it's by far the most important and rewarding job I'll ever have.

Since my wife and I are both home, I've been enjoying 2+ hrs of shop time a day. I get up earlier than my wife and head to the shop for a couple hours, and she catches up on any lost sleep from getting up at night to feed our daughter. Pretty nice deal huh? I hope to be able to continue that in some fashion after my wife goes back to work.

Just curious if we have any other SAHD's out there in the 'Creek?

[Chris Kennedy]

Our first child, a girl, was born 7 weeks ago and my wife and I couldn't be happier with her. I also quit my job about 7 weeks ago to be with my wife while she's on maternity leave (she's taking 10 weeks off, plus 4 weeks of half time) and to be a full time SAHD when she returns to work. I'm super excited for this life change, and it's by far the most important and rewarding job I'll ever have.

Since my wife and I are both home, I've been enjoying 2+ hrs of shop time a day. I get up earlier than my wife and head to the shop for a couple hours, and she catches up on any lost sleep from getting up at night to feed our daughter. Pretty nice deal huh? I hope to be able to continue that in some fashion after my wife goes back to work.

Just curious if we have any other SAHD's out there in the 'Creek?

You just keep pretending that is going to continue . . . .

The first two months or so are relatively sedate. The baby eats and sleeps and does little development. Around the two month mark, one of the first developmental milestones is smiling and then the developments come in spurts. The baby isn't content to eat and sleep, and starts to crave and need stimulation. It isn't that you have to play with the kid every waking minute, but the baby will need stimulation and comfort on a far more demanding schedule.

The first six months of my boy's life, my wife and I juggled him and work. After that, we returned to work full time and used day-care, but I have been the closer and immediate parent for pretty much all of that time. Now that he has started kindergarten, I have a little more time on the weekends.

Good luck.

If I sound cynical, I'm not. I wouldn't trade a single moment.

Cheers,

Chris

[Peter Pedisich]

Matt,

I like to hear this story, I wish I could do the same. Enjoy every moment, this time up to about 4-5 years old is such a wonderful time. After a while they want to spend time with their friends so enjoy the time when they still listen to you!
You are fortunate to get the shop time in as well, make the most of it for all of us out here who can't get into the shop during the week. Build some great stuff and post the photos here... If I can't get into the shop then looking at pictures of someone else's woodworking on the web beats watching TV for sure.

Best of luck and enjoy it all!

-Pete

[paul cottingham]

I'm a stay at home dad due to a head injury, and wouldn't trade it for anything. My daughter has ASD, and had colic, so being able to be part of her life full time has beena real blessing. It sure made life easier for my wife.
it helps that I can go back to sleep easily!

[Sean Troy]

I was a SAHD for our second daughter and have nothing but good things to say about it. One thing we've noticed is the difference in our second daughter. Seems more close,compasionate than our first. Not that our first isn't but there does seem to be that little bit of difference. Is it because of SAHD thing? Not sure, but it's not unusual for that to be common thing with SAHD's.

[Jim Matthews]

I've been at this for 10 years.

I would like to retire, but my bosses won't let me quit.
If you intend to keep at this, prepare to deal with isolation.

You won't be welcome in the Mommy groups, no matter what they tell you.
Woe unto any Man that's actually competent, raising his children....

Three things in your calendar to maintain your sanity -

Free time for her (that does not involve your progeny)
Free time for you (that does not involve any family member)
Date night, at least monthly (with your spouse - NO KIDS)

I also recommend annual vacation, where your absence illustrates all that you do around the house.
I like to leave when the refrigerator is empty, the gas tank is dry and the grass is above my ankles...

[paul cottingham]

I found that some playground mothers are like surfers. Very very territorial. As in this is our playground, take your child somewhere else. And doubly so if you are male.

[Matt Day]

Thanks for all the advice - I did lots of research and talked to a number of SAHD's that I know before I made the decision to quit my job. My best friend is a SAHD for his two kids (3 and 1) and has been since the first was born. He's a great resource for me because we're similar in a lot of ways - we're both very active and outdoorsy guys. I'm not worried about isolation at all - I'll be outside every day it's above 40 going for walks/hikes, put her in the jogging stroller, and tow her in the bike trailer, and I'm sure I'll have plenty of interaction doing that as well as of course running errands and doing other kid stuff (story time at the library, swim lessons, etc). I'm very excited to say the least!

I agree 100% with what Jim said about having time together as a family, just my wife and I, and just me time. My wife has a lot of family in the area and we've got some good friends who are more than happy to take our little one while we have date night, and we plan to do that often. We're flying to San Diego in April for our first big trip with our daughter so that will be an adventure, and my wife and I are thinking of doing a tropical (read warm) vacation next winter.

My wife has gone to some Mommy groups over the past month or so, and she's always on the lookout and asking about any SAHD's in the group, and feeling out the group to see if it's one that I might want to go to a few times. I've also contacted the closest SAHD group (which is in Akron, about 45 minutes South of me), and I'll join up with them when I can.

I'm glad to hear there are some other ww'ers doing the SAHD thing! If you know anybody in the CLE area that are SAHD's, send them my way!

[Matt Day]

Really? That's funny, and thanks for the heads up, I'll have to watch out for that. I guess it doesn't surprise me too much and I'm sure I'll run into some of that around here - there tend to be a number of noses in some areas.


I found that some playground mothers are like surfers. Very very territorial. As in this is our playground, take your child somewhere else. And doubly so if you are male.

[Prashun Patel]

I envy you and all other SAHD's. Kudos for having the guts to do it.

I am not one, but I have 7-8 yr old kids and watched my wife as she went from Pharmacist to SAHM, so I have some advice:

Take some time for yourself. It's a thankless job 99% of the time, and you'll blame yrself for all the 'bad' things they do or say - which is 99% of the time. For those not blessed with an infinite amount of patience, taking time out for yourself is the only way to recharge it. It's easy to get tunnel vision as a SAHParent.

Good luck.

[paul cottingham]

Really? That's funny, and thanks for the heads up, I'll have to watch out for that. I guess it doesn't surprise me too much and I'm sure I'll run into some of that around here - there tend to be a number of noses in some areas.
I'm a great big guy, and I don't take a lot of crap, so they just had to deal with us being there. My daughter looks 2 years older than she is as well, and looked that way from about the age of 2 so she fit in with a large span of age groups. Her ASD made it so she didn't notice the tension. She just needed to be outside even in the pouring rain, (can't tell you the number of times I brought her home in nothing but a diaper) so we just dealt with it. I lost 25 pounds after she started walking, just from chasing her.

[Charles McKinley]

I've been a SAHD for 11 years now. Munchkins are 11, 10, 8, and 4 now and have been home schooling for 7 years now. Enjoy this time. Remember it is up to you to instill the values, ideals and knowledge you want them to have.

Watch your mouth. It is cute when your little cherub falls on her but and says "Oh S****" in perfect context but it is incredibly hard to extinguish. DAMHIKT

Enjoy your little bundle of joy. WARNING BABIES ARE ADDICTIVE!

[Belinda Barfield]

I have no advice, just an observation. It is true what they say, "All the good ones are taken.":D Kudos to all of you SAHDs. As a daughter of a totally inattentive dad, I applaud all dads who understand that having a child is a commitment of time and love, and that a dad and a daughter can have a relationship like none other.