I need help completing a top ten list of reasons I'm retiring.

[Michael Weber]

Lots of creative people here so I'm looking for some real winners;) I’ve come up with a few but need suggestions to round out my top ten list. A couple examples I’ve come up with: “Need time to prepare for next year’s AARP magazine swimsuit edition” and “Dr. advises the size of the calluses developed from sitting around on my backside all day are becoming life threatening”. You get the idea. If it helps, at the time of retirement I’ll have been employed 40 years in the R&D department of a major HVAC manufacturer as a lab technician, metrologist, equipment troubleshooter, and computer programmer. While I’m looking for just generally amusing self-denigrating ideas, references to bosses, the present economic conditions, co-workers, etc. would be considered. Thank you kindly

[Bruce Page]

Everyday is Saturday.

[Jim Creech]

"Because you've given so much to the company, you don't have anything else we want"

[glenn bradley]

You want to step in the front door at the end of the day and yell "Honey, I'm Home . . . FOREVER".

[Myk Rian]

Assuming she doesn't work;
You're home with the Wife. Day in, day out, together, all day, every day, all week, together.......

[Mike Henderson]

If you enjoy your job, don't retire.

Mike

[Ben Hatcher]

You prefer to leave toes forward versus toes up.

[Rick Moyer]

Assuming she doesn't work;
You're home with the Wife. Day in, day out, together, all day, every day, all week, together.......

That reminds me of this song by Pat Dailey ("You're there")
http://www.myspace.com/music/player?sid=39583620&ac=now
It's number 10. scroll down.

[Keith Outten]

Because there is so much more to life than whatever you have been doing for the last 40 years.
.

[Al Wasser]

Because there are other things I want to do before I die

[David Weaver]

"work prevents me from my favorite hobby - creeping out the old ladies at the nursing home with cheap pickup lines"

[John Pratt]

1. After 40 years of improving the air quality in other peoples homes, you've decided to see what all the fuss is about by staying home to enjoy it yourself.

2. You are moving into an extended research project checking HVAC air quality using only your own home as the test sample.

[David Weaver]

"Because the department head turned down my suggestion that the R be changed to a B on the department door sign"

[Gary Hodgin]

You don't have to worry so much about how to spend your money.

[Steve Meliza]

If you really must have a reason to retire:
"My coworkers have been complaining about my hot gas bypass."

[John C Lawson]

You want to get some of that Social Security while there's still some left.

[Von Bickley]

Retirement....... Best job I ever had.

Retirement....... Finally found something I was good at.

[David G Baker]

The main reason should be "because you can". I retired at 55 around 12 years ago. One of the things that I kept in the back of my mind prior to retiring was that broadcast engineers that retired at the age of 65 lived an average of 18 months after retirement. That was all of the incentive that I needed plus the fact that I could afford to. I didn't get as much exposure to microwave as many of the engineers prior to my entering the field but I got my share of it along with 15 years of exposure to motion picture processing chemicals.
I found out that after I retired I was the worse boss I had ever had for the first 8 years, I have since cut back on driving myself so hard. Some of my retired friends couldn't stand being retired. I love it and haven't yet thought about working for anyone again.

[Ryan Mooney]

My eyesight must be going, I just couldn't see myself coming into work in the morning.
My big bucket of care just ran dry.
Its not that I don't like working here, but I'd like not working here better.

[Fred Perreault]

"Retirement is a frame of mind." I spent 50+ years living the dream in the heavy construction business, and rarely thought that it was work. It's only work if you'd rather be doing something else. I hope that you weather the often times life changing event well. Good Luck.... :) :)

[Kevin Bourque]

Sleeping in your bed vs. sleeping at your desk.

[David Helm]

Because work is a four letter word!

[Jim Matthews]

I wanted to be involved with something that doesn't blow hot one day, cold the next.

Because hysteria and hysteresis are too close to tell apart...

Because working with the menopausal means freezing in a room that they insist is too hot.

Do you know what lives in the ductwork? Don't ask...

At my age, the only thing that goes up is the barometer.

(Thank you, I'm here all week. Be sure to tip the waitress!)

[Jerry Thompson]

I really miss my days of since retirement.

[Larry Whitlow]

For your "top 10" list: "I actually retired 5 years ago and thought it was time to make it official."

[Stephen Cherry]

Retire? I intend to be wheeled out.

[Jim Tobias]

"The new guy that I'll be answering to understands me a lot better."


Jim

[Myk Rian]

I wanted to be involved with something that doesn't blow hot one day, cold the next.

Because hysteria and hysteresis are too close to tell apart...

Because working with the menopausal means freezing in a room that they insist is too hot.

Do you know what lives in the ductwork? Don't ask...

At my age, the only thing that goes up is the barometer.

(Thank you, I'm here all week. Be sure to tip the waitress!)
I can relate to every one of those.

[David Weaver]

After 40 years, HR no longer accepts "my mistake, I thought this was a dairy!" as an excuse...

[Fred Belknap]

Been retired 12 years and love it, can't say I miss the early hours, long drives and working in all kind of weather. I was a construction worker.

[Chris Kennedy]

After working x years at a job that both sucks and blows, it's time to leave.

[Joe Angrisani]

Our noble King posts the winner, IMO.....


Because there is so much more to life than whatever you have been doing for the last 40 years.

[Jim O'Dell]

Now the LOML is my ONLY boss!

The new hours and environment are much more conducive to ______________.(insert your pick: napping, woodworking, listening to music, catching up on old shows on the internet, visiting with friends, etc)

Wish I could retire. Well, I could but I like eating. :p Jim.

[David Weaver]

"After 40 years at work, the old ladies who used to be offputting are starting to look attractive, and are sure to become irresistible if I stay any longer"

[Joe Kieve]

So that when your wife asks, "what are you gonna do today?" You can tell her "nothing". Then if she complains "that's what
you did yesterday". You can say "well, I didn't get finished".

Hope you enjoy retirement!

joe

[Jim Koepke]

I like to keep busy and so many retirees say, "Now that I am retired I am so busy I don't know how I ever found time to go to work."

jtk

[Bill Cunningham]

Because you have been doing so much, with so little, for so long, you are now fully capable of doing anything, with absolutely nothing.

[Tom Gerken]

Umm........ because it Beats Working!

[Roy Turbett]

If you enjoy your job, don't retire.

Mike

+1 Don't do it unless you are retiring to something, not just from something.

[Art Mulder]

Need to emigrate to New Zealand before all the good jobs on "The Hobbit" movies are gone (I hear Gandalf needs an understudy...)

Because I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up and this isn't it!

Because my wife told me to

Because I hear WalMart is hiring greeters

Need to concentrate full time on training for the Olympics -- Speed Napping

[Ed Aumiller]

Retirement....
When you stop living at work and begin to work at living...

[Michael Weber]

Thanks for the suggestions so far. Lot's of good ones but you can never have too much of a good thing so keep them coming.
For those offering advise pro or con about retirement I can only say the final decision won't be taken lightly or hurriedly. I've been thinking about it for a long time, I'm 67, still in reasonable health (as far as I know :confused:). Have a pretty good situation at work, do something different all the time but boredom still is setting in. I do have a 100 year old house I'm working on and would like to have more time for that.

[Joe Bradshaw]

Michael, retirement is like any activity. In woodworking/woodturning things go along better with a mentor. Retirement is the same. Get a friend who has already retired to tuck you under his wing and show you the ropes. Leisurely lunches with your friends, time to hang out at stores that sell boy toys. The list goes on and on. Good luck. Oh, I retired on Jan. 30th 2008 and I have not looked back.

[Kent A Bathurst]

Working's for dogs that don't fish.

[Myk Rian]

What I did was to join the local senior center. We started a softball league 2 years ago. Last year there were 4 teams, and we're hoping for more this coming spring.
Our center has the good fortune to be housed in the old high school. We have tracks and fields, a gym, weight room, huge center area, and 1300 members to keep it active. We do a stage production every year to raise funds. Every Tuesday is a Euchre tournament.
We have dance classes, music, (song and instrumental), wood carvers, etc.
I got heavily involved, to the point I walk in the door, and am told what needs fixing. I also run the weight room, do stage production, and lighting for those productions.

I go far a walk through the neighborhood every day. I got back in touch with it, and re-met the neighbors.
The trick is to keep busy. It's worked for me, for over 8 years.