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curtis rosche
05-12-2012, 1:05 AM
If you love something, set it free; if it comes backs it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was

Anyone ever have any experience with this phrase? How did it work out for you? opinions, thoughts and comments welcome

Scott Shepherd
05-12-2012, 9:19 AM
If you love your new puppy and you leave the gate open for it, what do you think the chances are of it coming home because it was "meant to be"?

It's just a clever saying, it has no meaning other than the normal scapegoat for people wanting to break up with another person and not hurt their feelings.

Jeff Monson
05-12-2012, 10:48 AM
it has no meaning other than the normal scapegoat for people wanting to break up with another person and not hurt their feelings.

LOL, everytime I was "set free" when I was younger resulted in nothing coming back!

John Coloccia
05-12-2012, 11:21 AM
It means about the same as, "It's not you, it's me".

After setting it free, I'd recommend moving and changing your phone number to keep it from finding it's way back when it changes it's mind at 2:00am and realizes what a big mistake it made.

David Weaver
05-12-2012, 11:22 AM
Never worked for me with girlfriends, except once when a girl told me she had to go out and live life. I cut her loose. She tried to return later.

I think parentheses should be added at the end "if it comes back, it's yours (and you have to figure out how to get rid of it if you don't want it back)"

David Weaver
05-12-2012, 11:23 AM
It means about the same as, "It's not you, it's me".

After setting it free, I'd recommend moving and changing your phone number to keep it from finding it's way back when it changes it's mind at 2:00am and realizes what a big mistake it made.

Bingo.....

David G Baker
05-12-2012, 11:25 AM
I have gotten free a couple of times in my life and will never go back. I wasn't set free, I ran with my tail between my legs and swearing I would never go back. I didn't! I was set free a couple of times in my life and it crushed me. The first time I didn't know why and still don't. The second time was from someone that I loved with all my heart and soul. I ran away and joined the Army and married someone else four months later. This now it is almost 50 years and two wives later now and I still think about the second set free. I would have gone back if I had received an invitation.

Rick Potter
05-12-2012, 12:29 PM
I would modify that saying to something like........"If you love something, and it doesn't love you, set it free".

Rick Potter

Don Alexander
05-12-2012, 12:39 PM
cutesy sayings such as this usually have a tiny amount of truth wrapped up in a whole lot of wishful thinking covered up in overly emotional sentiment ................................................. which is another way of saying that you shouldn't really count on it being reality

Bruce Page
05-12-2012, 1:30 PM
It’s akin to “Whatever will be, will be”. You cannot force a relationship to grow regardless of how hard you try.

Greg Peterson
05-12-2012, 1:41 PM
Most, if not all of us crusty ol' farts have moved on to other philosophical musings.

Larry Edgerton
05-12-2012, 8:51 PM
Every time I "Set something free" it took a new house and all my savings.........

Larry

curtis rosche
05-12-2012, 8:57 PM
Every time I "Set something free" it took a new house and all my savings.........

Larry

not quite on the same level of exspence, but im hoping that doesnt happen

Sam Murdoch
05-13-2012, 12:24 AM
It's a good saying that holds true for kids and butterflies. Otherwise some of the hardest living you will do is loving someone and not giving up on him/her and fighting not to let him/her get away. Then there is also recognizing that some illusions of love are in fact just illusions. On the other hand - you can't really ever love yourself until you set yourself free (from your baggage, from your fears, from your prejudices, from your insecurities, from your illusions, from your self indulgences, etc. etc.) and if you don't love yourself your can't truly love another. So the setting free thing is real - it's just that most of us get it backwards.

Good luck with that :rolleyes:

Sam

Belinda Williamson
05-13-2012, 8:36 AM
If you love something, what gives you the right to "set it free"? Isn't something free to come and go as it pleases?

If you love someone and there is a question of whether he/she needs or wants to be free then free yourself.

I don't do do-overs. Not saying that's the right way, just what works for me.

If you love something, lock it in the basement and feed it until it loves you back. :D

Ditto on the 2 a.m. thing. If it takes a bottle of Tequila and a night with a stranger for someone to figure out they had a good thing in the first place . . . well that's just too bad.

Scott Shepherd
05-13-2012, 9:31 AM
If you love something, lock it in the basement and feed it until it loves you back. :D

That's one of the funniest things I've read in a while, Belinda! You missed making me spray my drink on my monitor by about 2 seconds :)



If it takes a bottle of Tequila and a night with a stranger for someone to figure out they had a good thing in the first place . . . well that's just too bad.

Extremely well said!

Rich Engelhardt
05-13-2012, 10:56 AM
If you love something, set it free; if it comes backs it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was

Let me translate this for you...

"I met a guy that has no job, treats me like dirt, makes fun of me in front of his friends, leers at other women and makes no secret of the fact he'd jump in the sack with anyone in a heartbeat, when he isn't high on dope, he's whacked out on beer and Jack......but....he needs me."

Next up is going to be the
we can still be friends line....

Let go now and set it or her free & free yourself while you're at it....

Belinda Williamson
05-13-2012, 11:42 AM
Let me translate this for you...

"I met a guy that has no job, treats me like dirt, makes fun of me in front of his friends, leers at other women and makes no secret of the fact he'd jump in the sack with anyone in a heartbeat, when he isn't high on dope, he's whacked out on beer and Jack......but....he needs me."

Next up is going to be the
we can still be friends line....

Let go now and set it or her free & free yourself while you're at it....

I can't decide if us "older" folks here are wise, or just cynical.

John Coloccia
05-13-2012, 11:49 AM
I can't decide if us "older" folks here are wise, or just cynical.

I think it's because we've all "let" something go at one point that's come stumbling back. We know how that turns out and the phrase becomes kind of comical. Once you set something free, it's generally best for it to stay gone.

Chris Kennedy
05-13-2012, 12:11 PM
Hard to believe I'm about to be the voice of hope . . . .

First off, I agree with pretty much everything everybody has said -- this is just a trite thing that is said to try to ease the pain.

On the other hand, I was involved with a woman in college for two years or so. We both dragged it on longer than necessary because neither of us was certain what we wanted. It ended hard and painfully. We both moved on with our lives.

Two years later, she contacted me again. We had both grown a lot in that time. Six months later, we eloped. 10 years later we have a wonderful 5 year old and a good life together.

Cheers,

Chris

curtis rosche
05-13-2012, 1:22 PM
If you love something, lock it in the basement and feed it until it loves you back. :D



lol. about 100 years ago that would be what i would do and thats what her parents want to do :D

curtis rosche
05-13-2012, 1:23 PM
Hard to believe I'm about to be the voice of hope . . . .

First off, I agree with pretty much everything everybody has said -- this is just a trite thing that is said to try to ease the pain.

On the other hand, I was involved with a woman in college for two years or so. We both dragged it on longer than necessary because neither of us was certain what we wanted. It ended hard and painfully. We both moved on with our lives.

Two years later, she contacted me again. We had both grown a lot in that time. Six months later, we eloped. 10 years later we have a wonderful 5 year old and a good life together.

Cheers,

Chris


always nice to hear there is some hope instead of just bad news

David Weaver
05-13-2012, 3:52 PM
When you're in college, it's tough. Girls (sorry belinda, et all...look away..look away) often don't know exactly what they want, and even if you survive college, a lot of girls see graduation as a time where everything in their life is going to be better (even if everything is already good). I don't mean every girl, but a lot of them. We called it the "life change" when I was in college. If someone was dating a girl who was graduating college (whether they were in college or already graduated), every single one of my buddies got dumped. I got dumped at "life change" twice. Twice!! Both times there really wasn't anything wrong that I knew of but both girls said something along the lines of having different goals and making improvements in their life.

A buddy of mine got the life change dump from a girl he had dated 7 years, and both different roommates in college also got the "life change" dump. None of their GFs did any better afterwards, but I guess they felt like they had to give it a shot, anyway.

My own wife gave me the boot once before we were married, said I was a hick and I needed refining. Actually, things didn't get very far at all the first time around, anyway, so it was more of a dump before anything went anywhere to begin with. :)

She came back a year later after she grew up (It must've been her that grew up, because I sure never did). I didn't have to chase her down, but I was between GFs then and didn't have a lot to do so we started hanging out together again and things just worked out.

You just never know what life's going to hand you, but one thing is for sure, the best things happened to me in life when I just sort of let them occur. I just went about my business, tended to the important things that I did have control of and everything else good just sort went as it did and I didn't try to take the wheels off of a wagon and fix them while it was rolling down the road, if you know what I mean.

Don Alexander
05-13-2012, 4:26 PM
girls see graduation as a time where everything in their life is going to be better (even if everything is already good). I don't mean every girl, but a lot of them. We called it the "life change" when I was in college

hehe when i was in college in the early 80's we called it the senior panic

Scott Shepherd
05-13-2012, 8:34 PM
Just remember, if you set a puppy free and it goes away for a while, when it comes back, make sure you take it to the vet to have it dipped for fleas and it's shots updated :) You'd be amazed what a puppy can pick up when it's set free :p

curtis rosche
05-13-2012, 8:52 PM
Just remember, if you set a puppy free and it goes away for a while, when it comes back, make sure you take it to the vet to have it dipped for fleas and it's shots updated :) You'd be amazed what a puppy can pick up when it's set free :p

thats why you tell the puppy if it wants to come back, it better not come back with anything it shouldnt have

Ken Fitzgerald
05-14-2012, 3:05 AM
Curtis,

The bottom line is this. No matter how much you care someone, if they don't care for you, neither of you would be happy in the relationship. Close relationships are tough enough without one of the persons having doubt in the relationship and not working to maintain the relationship.

Long term relationships or marriage....are like a career...all the partciptants have to work at it every day.

Beyond that.....a person can't and doesn't own another person. People are not personal property. One can't let go of what doesn't belong to one in the first place. If someone doesn't want a close relationship with another person, that other person doesn't have any choice or control of the situation. To try to control the situation or prolong the inevitible, at best, will only result in a loss of face for that person with the potential for much worse results.

For the record, God willing, my wife and I should celebrate our 44th anniversary this year. I wasn't her first love. She wasn't my first love. We had both lost before.....and yet....we met on a blind date, 3 days later I asked her to marry me....8 days later, I left for bootcamp....2 days after I got home from bootcamp, we were married. And yes....we both work at our relationship every day......

Good luck Curtis. You are learning one of life's lessons that some of us learned previously.

Jay Jolliffe
05-14-2012, 6:08 AM
Nicely put Sam...A lot of truth in that...

Belinda Williamson
05-14-2012, 9:19 AM
When you're in college, it's tough. Girls (sorry belinda, et all...look away..look away) often don't know exactly what they want, and even if you survive college, a lot of girls see graduation as a time where everything in their life is going to be better (even if everything is already good). I don't mean every girl, but a lot of them. We called it the "life change" when I was in college.

LOL, I couldn't help myself, I had to read your post. Speaking just for myself (of course), I'll share a few things honestly. I didn't have a clue who I was or what I wanted until I was around 25 or so. I was a different woman at 30 than I was at 21. I'm a different woman now than either of those women. I've grown and I've learned and hopefully I'm a better person. Looking back, I don't see how I could have made a committment to someone when when I was 25, but I did, and that ended badly - mostly my fault. I might have asked for a "do over" had he not moved on and remarried and had children with someone else. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm a hard person to live with and that I expect too much of people. Bottom line, Curtis, be true to yourself and don't settle for less than you deserve. I think sometimes we let ourselves get caught up in thinking that we have to find that one soul mate, or the perferct partner, and that there has to be someone special in our life when sometimes it's okay to be alone. That doesn't work for everyone but never depend on someone else to make you happy . . . that's your responsibility. :)