Why is it taking so long?

[Dexter Lichtenstein]

I am making my dream workbench and also working 50 hours a week. I am constantly being reminded that it sure is taking a long time. This was also the story for other projects. How do other people handle this situation? I am tired of trying to explain.

[Jay Rasmussen]

Dexter,
Been there many times, for me the following rules applly.
1: I need to work to make a living and support my family. My hobby is fun and I’m going to keep it that way.
2: I have other responsibilities that supersede my hobby but my hobby is fun and I’m going to keep it that way.
3: Sometimes it takes me months or longer to complete a 50 hour project, so what. My hobby is fun and I’m going to keep it that way.
4: My hobby is fun and I’m going to keep it that way.

The best way to screw up something you really enjoy is for you or someone else to attach a timeline to it.

Hope this helps, it work for me.
Jay

[Dave Zellers]

I am making my dream workbench and also working 50 hours a week. I am constantly being reminded that it sure is taking a long time. This was also the story for other projects. How do other people handle this situation? I am tired of trying to explain.

I always thought this is what hearing protection is for.

[Tom Ewell]

My projects get done when they get done, all find out the when and what upon completion.
I usually don't talk my projects up and the only expectations are what I put on myself.

[Don Jarvie]

Because you are working 50 hours per week :)

Keep in mind you don't do this for 50 hours a week so every step needs thought and takes time. Unless the LOYL has something she wants ASAP take your time and learn from it. The next project will got a bit quicker, and the next etc etc.

[Bas Pluim]

The answer is simple: You simply don't have the right tool for this particular project. Professionals have X and can therefore do it in half the time. Rinse. Repeat. Variations include shop is too small/ not laid out correctly/ too hot/ too cold/ too humid/ too dry.

It won't make the projects go any faster, it won't stop the questions about why it's taking so long, but you'll end with a nice shop full of tools.

[frank shic]

i try to also call attention to the custom details that a hired contractor or a factory manufacturer would not incorporate without a serious fee plus woodworking is such a much better utilization of time than just sitting around watching tv and drinking beer! hang in there, chum, my bathroom remodel is approaching 1 1/2 years in the making by the summer ;)

btw don't forget to periodically remind your wife what a WONDERFULLY PATIENT creature she is for giving you the time and freedom to build something worthy of her!

[Peter Aeschliman]

More time pressure = less enjoyment and lower quality results.

Took me a while to realize this. Now I try to avoid projects that have time lines on them. I do this hobby because I enjoy the process of making furniture... not because I enjoy the completed pieces of furniture. But ironically, the more I take my time, the more I end up enjoying the end product because I most likely paid attention to quality along the way... which gives you that feeling of satisfaction when you look at the piece and know all that went into it!

For example, I don't like doing built-ins because that usually means some part of our home is in disarray until it's done... which means the wife is on my case to hurry up.

Another example- I prefer making furniture for our home when we already have a piece that we are going to replace. We have a coffee table that neither of us really care for, but it fills the need until I make one... which means the wife isn't on my case to hurry up!

Now if the wife is just being a nag, I think Dave's hearing protection idea is the next most simple solution!

[Larry Edgerton]

I have been working on a new home for us in my spare time and as I have cash to throw into it. Really getting tired of these $5000 a month payments, but in the end it will be worth it. Hear that question all of the time.....

Are you in your house yet?

Any more I just mumble something and keep walking.........

Larry

[Carl Beckett]

Some great advice here already.

I definitely resonate with the time pressures = lower work quality, and that your hobby should be FUN/ENJOYABLE.

Another thing I did was to budget some time for myself. Taking care of my own emotional health is paramount to then being able to support others. By no means do I slack off on what needs done - but you all know that one persons priorities might not be the same as another, and especially if you own a house there is always a list of about 200 projects that 'need done'. So budget out some time in the schedule to work 'guilt free'. And then set your project completion expectations accordingly. The realities of the schedule just isnt going to allow you to finish projects in record breaking time - that needs to be ok.

From time to time point out what your friends hobbies are ('at least you arent out riding harleys and drinking all the time....). I know my wife doesnt like how much time I spend in my shop when really trying to finish off a project - but at the same time I know she likes knowing where I am and what I am up to.

[John Coloccia]

Why would anyone care how long it takes you to build your workbench? If you're enjoying yourself, why is anyone bothering you about it? Seems incredibly petty and would make me wonder if someone isn't going out of their way to make sure that you're don't enjoy yourself.

[John Coloccia]

btw don't forget to periodically remind your wife what a WONDERFULLY PATIENT creature she is for giving you the time and freedom to build something worthy of her!

Reminds me of an old Jackie Mason joke. To me, my girlfriend is the most wonderful woman in the world. That's to me, but to my wife......

[John Towns]

Dexter,
Been there many times, for me the following rules applly.
1: I need to work to make a living and support my family. My hobby is fun and I’m going to keep it that way.
2: I have other responsibilities that supersede my hobby but my hobby is fun and I’m going to keep it that way.
3: Sometimes it takes me months or longer to complete a 50 hour project, so what. My hobby is fun and I’m going to keep it that way.
4: My hobby is fun and I’m going to keep it that way.

The best way to screw up something you really enjoy is for you or someone else to attach a timeline to it.

Hope this helps, it work for me.
Jay

Jay,

I really like what you wrote here. I will adopt this as explaination when I am asked. Thanks,

John

[Rich Engelhardt]

Any more I just mumble something and keep walking.........

Yep - that's the way to do it.
The single catch here is that you have to have at least ten years of marriage behind you to even begin thinking about the mumble and walk method.

[Brian Kent]

I always thought this is what hearing protection is for.

Excellent, Dave!

[Steve Meliza]

Why would anyone care how long it takes you to build your workbench? I can see you've not met my wife. I'm working on my workbench and have been for a few weeks now and she is very eager for me to be done. It's not that she's petty, it's that the was she's wired she hates to see the mess in the garage from all the stuff that came out of the old workbench and wants to mark it off the "to do" list so I can get on to the next item. What makes her tick is seeing everything stored away neatly and items crossed off the "to do" list before the ink is dry.

It's not like I've got her figured out though, one day she wants to know when I'll be done and the next day she pouts when I leave her alone to watch Jeopardy and walk out to the garage.

[frank shic]

steve, your wife and my wife must have been separated at birth... she's ALWAYS complaining about how disorganized the garage is and how dusty it gets! just the other day i was spraying latex so of course i tracked it all over the garage floor and now she's wondering how i'm going to clean it off?!? hang in there, keep her happy as much as you can - our hobbies are never as important as our loved ones when you seriously think about it.

[Tom Scott]

It may get better with time. When I was just getting started in woodworking my wife was wondering what was taking so long and asked, "Can't you just nail it together?" She doesn't even ask anymore. It will be done when it's done.

[Larry Browning]

I like to say, "Hey! this wood I am using to make this is expensive! I want to get my money's worth out of it. If I finished it quickly, I'd just have to go out and buy more."

[Myk Rian]

How do other people handle this situation? I am tired of trying to explain.
I retired. :)

[Charlie Gummer]

Looks like many of us are in the same boat. I have my day job, a contracting gig at night (licensed mechanical P.E. in Washington state), M.S. program remotely through the UW, a 17-month-old daughter and a perpetual, endless remodel project that is the house we bought almost two years ago.

So far I have the legs for my workbench done and feel accomplished at that. It gets daunting at times looking at the amount of work remaining but then I realize that I really do enjoy the process more than the end result. The challenge with the bench is that there is so much of it that is super-sized (Benchcrafted split-top Roubo) that every task seems to take that much longer. Oh well, if I finish before the kid starts school I'll consider myself ahead of the curve.

[Peter Aeschliman]

It's not like I've got her figured out though, one day she wants to know when I'll be done and the next day she pouts when I leave her alone to watch Jeopardy and walk out to the garage.

DING DING DING!!! We have a winner folks.

Not to be a chauvinistic jerk... but you could replace a few pieces of that sentence with just about anything. She wants you to tell her what you think of her dress, but gets upset when you tell her what you think of her dress. lol the list goes on!

:D

[frank shic]

DING DING DING!!! We have a winner folks.

Not to be a chauvinistic jerk... but you could replace a few pieces of that sentence with just about anything. She wants you to tell her what you think of her dress, but gets upset when you tell her what you think of her dress. lol the list goes on!

:D

peter, as annoying as it gets sometimes, i'd be a much, much sadder fellow without the mrs around plus she's the ultimate audience i'm trying to impress with my woodworking :)

[Rick Potter]

Steve,

Only one answer for this situation. You need your own separate shop......with a lock.

Rick Potter

PS: I am so slow, I am half done with new kitchen cabinets, and it's been over a year. Total of seven years for the house remodel. Of course, that is nothing. My buddy has the local record for remodels, his permit was open for 12 years. Recently finalized, but the interior finishing is not done yet. Your wife is lucky you are so quick.

[frank shic]

misery loves company. thank you rick for cheering us all up!

[Peter Aeschliman]

peter, as annoying as it gets sometimes, i'd be a much, much sadder fellow without the mrs around plus she's the ultimate audience i'm trying to impress with my woodworking :)

Ahhhhh, that's so sweet! ;)

[John Coloccia]

My wife is an artist. She's a psychologist in real life, but she's an artist. She goes a couple of years before she finishes a piece. She has a room in the house dedicated to her work. I don't care. It goes unused and messy most of the year, but the few times a year she's in there she produces wonderful work and it makes her happy. Who am I to complain? I encourage it. She encourages me in my work.

People just need learn to relax. A little mess in the garage? What's the big deal? Life's too short to worry about such trivialities! If she wants you to hurry up, maybe she should come down and help :) It would be a wonderful way to get the wife involved. My wife comes down to help me when I need it. She doesn't do woodworking, but she brainstorms with me about layout and workflow. We make a night of it, sip some wine, and have a good time.

[Alan Lightstone]

The Colosseum took 10 years to build, the Parthenon 17 years, The Great Pyramid of Giza 20 years, Chichen Itza 400 years, Petra 850 years, Stonehenge 1600 years, the Great Wall of China 2000 years, and the drafting table I'm building for my wife - 9 months and counting. Quality takes time.

[Peter Aeschliman]

The Colosseum took 10 years to build, the Parthenon 17 years, The Great Pyramid of Giza 20 years, Chichen Itza 400 years, Petra 850 years, Stonehenge 1600 years, the Great Wall of China 2000 years, and the drafting table I'm building for my wife - 9 months and counting. Quality takes time.

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-laughing002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-laughing001.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

[Larry Edgerton]

Yep - that's the way to do it.
The single catch here is that you have to have at least ten years of marriage behind you to even begin thinking about the mumble and walk method.

Does that ten years have to be with the current wife or is it accumilitive?

Just kidding. I have been with the current wife for 14 years........

Larry

[John Christian]

my job ( 11 hrs a day including travel) involves coordinating 50 to 60 people a day everyday. it involves compromise. i answer all the questions. i deal with minor ( and major ) imperfections in workmanship and design all day every day. my workshop is a refuge from that. my wife can see the difference in me pre and post shop in an evening or on a sunday afternoon. she has stopped asking about the money going in and the nothing coming out. there's someone on here who made the comment that "i am the only person i have to please in my shop" i second that and add that in my shop i seek the zen of small perfections.

[Jim Foster]

Show us some pictures.

My bench seemed to take forever... and it probably did! And, if I make another one, it will go much faster :)

[Rich Engelhardt]

Larry,
Sorry - it's not cumuative - it takes that long for them to housebreak us ;).

[John Lifer]

A couple of comments, finish the workbench. If it takes a while, it takes a while. Do it right, or you'll do it over.
Second, you need your own space and the garage isn't it. Throw her that bone to chew on. Next, for your next project, do a small item, one that won't take you but maybe a week at the most. Something for her. Small box or something like that.
Show her you appreciate her giving you time to relax in the shop, er garage. Mine puts up with me, but still fusses every time she has to step over the stack of lumber to get into her car. And Don't bitch at her about anything she might be doing that ticks YOU off.

[Barry Daniels]

My wife was always asking, "Is it done yet?" Finally, one day I said, "Honey, I will never be done. I may finish one project but I will have already started three more". It only took using this explanation about three times until she realized that I was revealing a deeper truth. Now she does not ask that question anymore.

[Brian Weick]

I am making my dream workbench and also working 50 hours a week. I am constantly being reminded that it sure is taking a long time. This was also the story for other projects. How do other people handle this situation? I am tired of trying to explain.


Don't take it personally, know one knows what your life is like what your dealing with, how picky you may be as a craftsman.........etc...etc...etc....


Take it with a grain of salt Dexter........and keep moving forward, at your own pace.

I started my Moak BS restoration in Sept of 2011 and it still isn't done......work , dealing with my father,assisted living, my home, etc,etc,.....I could go on & on.....

Let it roll off your back......their only opinions , and you know what they say about opinions, their like "cake holes"...... everyone has one....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cf-eXgCyCO4&feature=youtube_gdata_player...LOL


Carry on.....



B,

[frank shic]

my job ( 11 hrs a day including travel) involves coordinating 50 to 60 people a day everyday. it involves compromise. i answer all the questions. i deal with minor ( and major ) imperfections in workmanship and design all day every day. my workshop is a refuge from that. my wife can see the difference in me pre and post shop in an evening or on a sunday afternoon. she has stopped asking about the money going in and the nothing coming out. there's someone on here who made the comment that "i am the only person i have to please in my shop" i second that and add that in my shop i seek the zen of small perfections.

i love my "fortress of solitude" even it's messy!

[David G Baker]

Irreconcilable differences is what I used to solve that problem in my last two relationships. Fortress of solitude is a much cheaper way to handle the problem and this is my current method.

[ian maybury]

It's in the end I think very much a Zen issue. Once we stop enjoying the activity of working, and start stepping out of the moment into deadline/objective chasing (and our mind becomes focused on these) the enjoyment goes out the window.

There's the little matter of life balance too. I've been down the road of burning myself out by trying to support a time intensive hobby (competitive R/C model aerobatics) and a very stressful and demanding job. The bottom line (for me anyway) was that while I could certainly raise the will to work very hard the body couldn't hack it and I ended up ill. it increasingly becomes an issue as we get older.

Speed seems in the end to be reflection of skill and experience - one of those things that may well come (especially if we think about our methods), but tends to escape us if we chase it. We're capable of what we're capable of at a given time.

It seems too like it's a one way trip - in that it's necessary to learn the skill/how to do the job right first before trying to speed it up. We have a whole country full of so called craftsmen here who during the property bubble started out rushing - there's not a hope they will go back to learning to do it right. On the other hand the older guys that learned properly are pretty much as quick, or quicker in some cases.

:) On being supervised from 'indoors'. It's hard enough for some of us to avoid sucking ourselves into mentally unhealthy ways of relating to work and life without being hassled into it. Practical input is another matter, but I don't think I'd last long at that...

ian

[glenn bradley]

I am making my dream workbench and also working 50 hours a week. I am constantly being reminded that it sure is taking a long time. This was also the story for other projects. How do other people handle this situation? I am tired of trying to explain.

Stop explaining. It takes as long as it takes; this isn't a commission that someone paid for and is hot to get. tell 'em to mind their own business ;-) I am working on a chest of drawers right now. When people ask me when it will be done I tell them 2 months ago.

[frank shic]

Irreconcilable differences is what I used to solve that problem in my last two relationships. Fortress of solitude is a much cheaper way to handle the problem and this is my current method.

i would prefer to avoid this route at all costs

[Jim Matthews]

Might I suggest one date night per month?

Even if you're not fully engaged, at least she'll be out of the house. It should be scheduled, so she can look forward to a date.
That, and get her into knitting. Time is the only thing we really can't replace.

Knitters appreciate time consumed in pursuit of a craft, and (unlike making bigger sticks into smaller one) it is a very portable hobby.

I'm no fan of spending time on making tools, but it is an essential part of the infrastructure. This cannot be explained, and is an endless point of frustration.
It's why so many of us buy a basement full of tools, but never make anything more than a spice rack or kitchen cabinet doors.
That said, you need to make SOMETHING that can be seen and used.

Compute the amount saved, and take SWMBO out to dinner where her friends can see you.

While sawdust and shavings are the antidote to estrogen excess, company is the antidote to loneliness.
Ya pick yer pie-zen, ah guess.

Good luck,
we're all in this together

[John Piwaron]

you'll end with a nice shop full of tools.

That might make it worse. When he finally has his shop fully equipped with the best, and the heating, lighting, electrical and ventilation are all top notch, how's he going to answer "why's it taking so long?" the next time? ;)

[ian maybury]

Pardon my posting a second time - a less philosophical view this time. People don't seem to have any appreciation of the sort of labour input involved in woodworking.

It potentially creates problems not just with the better half.

I decided just over a year ago to embark on a complete shop kit out with a view to going commercial. The whole lot - dust system build, bench build, new machine set up, wiring, lighting, storage etc etc. The decision came from the heart, and from a set of circumstances that conspired to make possible a long held ambition - it certainly wasn't money driven.

There's a couple of friends into design and make that have been fine, but it's pretty disappointing just how many got judgemental - lasted about a month of 'is it finished yet, then lapsed into impatience, then piss taking, then thinly veiled sceoticism, then superiority and then peeled away having seemingly decided it wasn't worth the effort to maintain the relationship.

The fact that you're busting a gut day in day out seems to count for nothing. Luckily my wife while there has been the occasional lapse into mild impatience has been broadly supportive - despite the fact that our economic crash and busted property bubble reduced here teacher's income on which we are depending to make the transition.

These are not nasty or inconsiderate people, just normal guys. It's a bit scary though to realise how much of your social acceptance hangs on your being seen to be 'making it' - or at least maintaining your position in the hierarchy/pecking order.

Maybe I haven't done a good job of selling/communicating the nature of the undertaking, but I thought that the obvious level of work going on would speak for itself. That and the fact that I was heavily committed to looking after an elderly mother now recently deceased during the time...

ian

[John Piwaron]

I am making my dream workbench and also working 50 hours a week. I am constantly being reminded that it sure is taking a long time. This was also the story for other projects. How do other people handle this situation? I am tired of trying to explain.

Who's reminding? Your wife/significant other? Or friends? With friends I'd get a little flip. With the wife I'm much more respectful.

After 25 years of making things my wife knows how long things take. I do hear "I wish we could/would hire a contractor. In, out, done.". For the first time *ever*, I have a project list posted on the refrigerator. #1 is the router table I'm on now. the next 2 are things she says we need. After that are things my son wants. To answer your question - I tell her "it'll be done when it's done and not a minute before."

Mostly I work fairly quickly despite a full time job. Right now project work is at a stop 'cause of my table saw, but that's another post.

[John Piwaron]

I retired. :)

Did that speed you up?

[frank shic]

it helps to have some fast tricks up your sleeve to occasionally pump something out in an hour or two like pocket screws and fast drying glue. a couple of weeks ago my wife suddenly decided that i needed to do something for her grandmother who had a stroke last year and could use a foot rest. all it took was a 1 x 8 piece of pine, some 2x2's that i reclaimed from the stilts i had originally built for my daughters and about two hours to bang out a stool that should shut everyone... i mean, keep everyone satisfied for a while!

[Roger Pozzi]

Dexter,
Been there many times, for me the following rules applly.
1: I need to work to make a living and support my family. My hobby is fun and I’m going to keep it that way.
2: I have other responsibilities that supersede my hobby but my hobby is fun and I’m going to keep it that way.
3: Sometimes it takes me months or longer to complete a 50 hour project, so what. My hobby is fun and I’m going to keep it that way.
4: My hobby is fun and I’m going to keep it that way.

The best way to screw up something you really enjoy is for you or someone else to attach a timeline to it.

Hope this helps, it work for me.
Jay


Plus 1 !!!
I so like the way you expressed this that, with your permission I'm going to make it into a plaque to hang in my shop.
Thank you for your insight.

[frank shic]

hope you use a small font lol

[Moses Yoder]

My wife cross stitches, and most of her projects take months and some take years. She has a box of 30 projects waiting for me to frame, so I do 2 or 3 every year to keep her happy.