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Belinda Barfield
11-14-2011, 9:01 AM
Feel free to add your funnies from the workplace, mine just happens to be "the shop".

We started at 5:30 this a.m. Overhead this about 8 or so.

"This is just a smidgen too long, trim it a frog's hair."

"Frogs don't have hair . . . do they?" (new kid on the block)

"Well, yeah, frogs have hair. Frog's hair is just a little finer than a lizard's hair." (me)

"Lizards don't have hair . . . do they?"

"Of course frogs have hair. How do you think we know how much to trim when Mike tells us to trim something a frog's hair?" (someone passing through the area)

Poor girl is spending her break looking for a frog. :eek:

Ken Fitzgerald
11-14-2011, 9:04 AM
Is this paid help Belinda?

Jim Creech
11-14-2011, 9:17 AM
While we are on the subject of paid help "The sign said NO HELP WANTED- He applied and got the job!
Banner seen at a retirement party "Because you have given so much to the Company, You have nothing left that we want"

Belinda Barfield
11-14-2011, 9:22 AM
Yes, Ken, paid help. The whole thing started with her calling out measurements in decimals and Mike telling her she had to give them in fractions, and that she needed to start thinking in fractions, and just went downhill from there into a shop debate over the width of a frog's hair. And it's just Monday . . .

Dan Hintz
11-14-2011, 11:23 AM
Not in my shop, but it was on American Hotrod (Boyd Coddington). The shop manager doesn't like dealing with newbies, so he gets them to do stupid stuff that keeps them out of his hair. After he had some new kid look for a left-handed door handle in the junk pile, he finally sent him out to spray paint a piece. He handed the kid a rattle can and told him when it stopped rattling it was properly mixed and ready for use. God knows how long that kid stood out there shaking that can waiting for it to stop rattling.

Belinda Barfield
11-14-2011, 11:34 AM
Dale, the new girl and I both work with the CNC and laser engraver. We work in decimals because that's the way the software we use works.

Dan, we normally don't have this going on - mainly because I think it is a waste of time. She really isn't "new", she's been working with us for a couple of months. It was just so funny that she wasn't sure if frogs have hair that I couldn't help but let it go. The guy who was telling her she needs to work in fractions is also the guy that measures to a fat 16th (which drives me crazy).

Dan Hintz
11-14-2011, 12:12 PM
Working alone, a fat 16th is fine... the moment someone else has to repeat it, all bets are off.

Maybe you should tell her the width of a chicken's tooth, or tell her about the plight of the Nauga (haugahyde has to come from somewhere, right? And Naugas are so small they can only get a 1/8" wide strip (or less) from each Nauga back, so they have to kill a lot of Naugas to make a single car seat).

Rick Potter
11-14-2011, 12:53 PM
On the fire dept., we would have the probies check the brake fluid (air brakes), or clean the spark plugs on the diesel motor. Now, back in the dark ages, when I started, checking the spark plugs entailed checking 24 plugs (V12..2 per cyl.).

Rick Potter

ray hampton
11-14-2011, 3:51 PM
Not in my shop, but it was on American Hotrod (Boyd Coddington). The shop manager doesn't like dealing with newbies, so he gets them to do stupid stuff that keeps them out of his hair. After he had some new kid look for a left-handed door handle in the junk pile, he finally sent him out to spray paint a piece. He handed the kid a rattle can and told him when it stopped rattling it was properly mixed and ready for use. God knows how long that kid stood out there shaking that can waiting for it to stop rattling.

believe it or not , this instructions are /or was on some paint cans [ do not ask how many years ago ]

Belinda Barfield
11-14-2011, 4:12 PM
Of course every cubicle has a picture of a guy with a part and a big hammer saying: "but CATIA says it fits!" (CATIA is a cad program)
Mike

CATIA ALWAYS says it fits. :rolleyes: By the way, we are currently prototyping parts designed in CATIA.

Paul Saffold
11-14-2011, 4:27 PM
When asked how he was, my dad would reply "I'm fine as frog's hairs".
If he was having a really good day the response would be " I'm fine as a frog's hair split 24 ways".

Belinda Barfield
11-14-2011, 4:43 PM
When asked how he was, my dad would reply "I'm fine as frog's hairs".
If he was having a really good day the response would be " I'm fine as a frog's hair split 24 ways".

Out of curiosity, where did your dad grow up? My SO is the only other person I've heard say "fine as a frog hair". For him a really good day is "fine as a frog's hair split 4 ways".

Paul Saffold
11-14-2011, 5:06 PM
Born in MO. Grew up in Detroit.

daniel lane
11-14-2011, 6:03 PM
Out of curiosity, where did your dad grow up? My SO is the only other person I've heard say "fine as a frog hair". For him a really good day is "fine as a frog's hair split 4 ways".

I've not heard the "split # ways" before, but I clearly recall a time in the early 80's when my dad, brother and I were all headed to Longhorn Caverns and stopped for gas at a Diamond Shamrock in Lampassas, TX. The man in front of my father paid, and the cashier said, "How you doin', Earl?" to which Earl replied, "Fine....fine as a frog's hair". He pronounced 'frog' with a long O sound, like "frOHg". Never heard the phrase before or after, so I'm quite amused at these stories... :)


daniel

steven c newman
11-14-2011, 6:16 PM
"Go to the tool trailer, and bring a box of holes, and a METRIC Cresent wrench".

"Move it a blonde hair to the left."

Paul Saffold
11-14-2011, 6:44 PM
Go get a bucket of steam.

Tom Winship
11-14-2011, 6:45 PM
I've always heard "fine as frog hair" in Texas. Probably a southern thing.

My FIL used to talk about a new hire they had that they put on the "smart" end of a tape, measuring pipe lengths. (Tenth tapes are tenths of a foot, so you can read 20.3, 29.45, etc. and are used to measure oilfield pipe.)
Anyway he said the new guy would call out 20 feet 3 inches, 29 feet 4 1/2", etc. But he kept looking at the tape. They asked him if everything was okay, to which he replied, "I always heard this was a cheap outfit, but didn't realize you could get away with only 10 inches in a foot".

Tim Morton
11-14-2011, 7:02 PM
I Had a guy who has worked for me for about 4 years now threaten to quick over the use of a small "e" vs a capital "e"....this is going into a brochure in which we need to make 150 copies for internal use. I'm just like...its out of my hands...the client wants a lower case e....do it.

OK..this one wasn't all that funny...but he was certainly being a jerk about it.

Jim Koepke
11-14-2011, 9:31 PM
Go get a bucket of steam.

My brother told me when he worked in a refinery the old hands would always convince a new guy that they needed a bucket of butane to clean some parts.

It would come out liquid, but would evaporate before the poor guy could take it to where the parts needed cleaning.

jtk

Dan Hintz
11-15-2011, 6:19 AM
I like the butane one (though mighty dangerous). Those are the perfect gag requests because it actually seems possible to the person being fooled, they just feel they need to work smarter/faster/etc.

I can't recall where I heard the story (likely my grandfather?), but "the guys" would send the newbie down the hall and around the corner to storage. "Here, take the packages on this cart to storage and get back as fast as you can... we have work to do!" So the newbie would take off running down the hallway with this big cart filled with packages... and try to turn the corner... and fail. The guys had placed a large gyro in one of the packages, set it to spinning, and watched from the end of the hallway for the fun to start.

Rod Sheridan
11-15-2011, 8:43 AM
That was funny Belinda.

Now, how about going metric and scrapping fractions?

Regards, Rod.

Belinda Barfield
11-15-2011, 8:51 AM
That was funny Belinda.

Now, how about going metric and scrapping fractions?

Regards, Rod.

Metric didn't stick the first time they taught it to me, it ain't likely to stick now. :D

I work in 10ths and 100ths. I wish someone would explain something to me. When I'm justing my trusty "measuring stick" that has 10ths/100ths on one side and 32nds/64ths on the other, why is it that every single time I pick it up to measure something the 32nds side is up? I just don't get it!

Dan Hintz
11-15-2011, 9:11 AM
why is it that every single time I pick it up to measure something the 32nds side is up? I just don't get it!
Same reason there's always a lone sock left in the dryer, or shirts are always turned inside out.

David G Baker
11-15-2011, 11:46 AM
I worked for the Southern Pacific Railroad General Repair Shops in Sacramento Ca when I was a kid as a Pipe Fitter Apprentice. The favorite trick the Journeymen played on us newbies was to send us off to find the shop pipe stretcher. I am still looking for it 48 years later, guess it's well hidden.

John Pratt
11-15-2011, 1:55 PM
For all those that served in the military, they will remember some of these:

"go get a box of grid squares"
"go get some batteries for the chem lights" (light/glow sticks)
"go find the backblast bag for the LAW" (shoulder fired rocket)
"unscrew the turret in that armored personnel carrier by turning it 40 times counterclockwise"
"go ask the First Sergeant where he put the PRC E8"

steven c newman
11-15-2011, 3:54 PM
"Of course, I can read a map! I merely placed it on the hood of this jeep so I could get a better compass reading." (Jeep WAS running at the time)

One year, while on "loan" to the Army Reserve as a Foward Observer. The 8" SP Batteries decided to feed the F.Os up on the "Hill" last. We got maybe three pieces of bacon ( for 10 people) maybe half a loaf of bread. This went on for about four days. On the fourth day, a two star General stopped by to check on us "folkson the hill". We showed Gen. Mc Que what our breakfast was that morning. He get on the radidio and "locked" the heels of the Battilion Commander. "IF there isn't food up on this hill in 30 minutes, you'all will be a FAIL for this two week exercise!' 20 minutes later, the first of FOUR jeeps showed up, full of food. And that my friends, is how we got a McQ breakfast!

Larry Edgerton
11-15-2011, 6:47 PM
Have to quit speed reading.......

I was half way through the thread still trying to figure out what frog hair has to do with shop overhead?

On subject, and being in the business I have heard many conversations over the years debating the thickness of various hairs.

Still no solid conclusions....

Larry

Bill Cunningham
11-15-2011, 9:49 PM
I worked for the Southern Pacific Railroad General Repair Shops in Sacramento Ca when I was a kid as a Pipe Fitter Apprentice. The favorite trick the Journeymen played on us newbies was to send us off to find the shop pipe stretcher. I am still looking for it 48 years later, guess it's well hidden.

Ya! when I was green and 17, they always told me to get 'exactly' the piping part specified on the drawings. The storesman would always chuckle when I requested a dozen 1" x 1/2" 'RED' couplings..For some reason, they were always black! :p.. I 'once' did have one of my daughters ask the mechanic to please check the 'blinker fluid' for her!

ray hampton
11-15-2011, 10:03 PM
Bill, pay back are fun, have your daughter got even with you yeti

daniel lane
11-16-2011, 3:12 PM
If I offer you 10 gallons of frog juice at $10.001/gallon, you will pay me $100.01 in legal tender.

Frog juice? I was just getting used to frog HAIRS! I'm going guess that by analogy, frog hair juice sells for $10.00001/gallon? :p


daniel

P.S. Just joshin'! I've no dog in this fight, so I'll let you guys hash out the tolerance thing. As a chemical engineer, I tend to believe my tolerances are +/- 30%, 70% of the time.

Andrew Pitonyak
11-17-2011, 12:27 PM
Here ya go!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hairy_Frog

Lee Koepke
11-20-2011, 7:02 PM
I was helping a friend with some repairs at the animal rescue that she volunteered at. All of a sudden my circular saw quit working. I convinced her that all the knots in the cord had slowed the electricity down, and I was certain if she took all the knots out it would work again. Well, as she undid all the knots, she got back to the plug end and realized that it had simply come unplugged from the wall.

I felt somewhat guilty, but I did manage to get my extension cord knot free ..... :)

ray hampton
11-20-2011, 9:24 PM
did your friend call you honey after that joke ?

Kevin W Johnson
11-21-2011, 3:37 AM
When I worked in a manufacturing facility that made exhaust parts, we sent the newbies to get the keys to the basement that didn't exist to fetch a pipe stretcher when they made a part to short.

Gene Howe
11-21-2011, 7:35 AM
I was helping a friend with some repairs at the animal rescue that she volunteered at. All of a sudden my circular saw quit working. I convinced her that all the knots in the cord had slowed the electricity down, and I was certain if she took all the knots out it would work again. Well, as she undid all the knots, she got back to the plug end and realized that it had simply come unplugged from the wall.

I felt somewhat guilty, but I did manage to get my extension cord knot free ..... :)

We used to live in an area that experienced a lot of power outages. A female co worker was griping about the latest one when I told her that they really didn't affect us because we had several #12 50' extension cords plugged in at all times. Those large cords stored enough electricity to power some lights and the refrigerator for a few hours. She bought 3 on the way home that evening!
We also had her convinced that Panasonic had just started selling a reversible microwave that would quick freeze. I guess her boyfriend had finally had enough and convinced her that she was being had!

Jason Roehl
11-21-2011, 8:20 AM
When I worked in QC/Inbound-Outbound at Whirlpool, we would send the trainees out into the parking lot on their forklift to "fill it up". This was after they had unplugged the ELECTRIC forklift from the large chargers inside...

I did get sent for a left-handed channel locks once at a factory job.

I also have a metric/English adjustable wrench--there's an indicator and scale on each side (one side is metric, the other side is English) to indicate how far the jaws are open. I think it's so that after you round off the bolt using it, you know what size wrench you should have used. :rolleyes: